Thoughts after the changling attack
Soarin sat their confused and betrayed. Why hadn't the force field pushed me out to oblivion like the other changelings? Am I really like them? Why did Queen Chrysalis-she gave us a bad name! There was nothing to fear about changelings! We were never a threat. At least before Chrysalis became a power freak! Why did she want to have power over all pony kind?
She would get more food if she befriended the ponies. They never would have a reason to fear changelings. If she turned them into slaves fear would become all they felt. It would cover and override any other emotion they had. Even love, so what was the point? Other than simply finding a reason to hurt the ponies? I understand them having to find food for their hive. I too have to do that. However I never harmed a pony and I never will.
My hive is nothing like most. Other hives were constantly connected to the hive mind. In my hive we are only connected with our consent. And we had the freedom to have their own families and hatchlings not just the queen. Queen Athnaties also allowed us to be free. To come and go as we please. Needless to say their was in fact a process everyling had to go through before they left, to make sure everything that needed to be done in the hive, had the corresponding job assigned to someling els. We were free but we still need to protect and care for our hive. It was still our home.
We live in assigned apartments, and have different restaurants in the hive. You could get a tasty snack but only emotion would give you nutrition. That is always given out in monthly or weekly rations. It all depended on what each changelings needs are. For my life style, I prefer monthly rations and to stay at the hive on my breaks from the bolts. It is my home after all. The reason I chose to get monthly rations is because of me being so busy as a Wonderbolt and constantly going on tour.
I always make sure to use my rations as a last resort when we are on tour! I only used it if food isn't available. When I was on a 6 month tour with only a months rations. I wouldn't be able to get to my hive. I would have to feed off of ponies but I never hurt them! Let alone laid a hoof on them. Unlike Chrysalis! She gave us changelings a bad name. And it is because of what Chrysalis did that causes me to feel so betrayed. By my own kind! Even though my hive being as laid back as it is...... I always was a little different to say the least.
I always felt like I couldn't be myself. I always just felt better and fit in more with the ponies, them and my one best friend Tarnix. He too was a changeling, but unlike most he didn't see me as weird. He saw me as a friend, and for who I was. He never cared what anyling said about him for hanging out with me.
Why couldn't Queen Chrysalis treat her changelings like how Queen Anthnaties did us?! Kindly. That's all she had to do! Was be kind and fair! At least to her own hive! But she wasn't, and I know theirs nothing I can do to change her. It wasn't the changelings fault. They were being controlled through the hive mind. Something that never happens in my hive. Sure they we're connected, but we are never CONTROLLED! I feel so betrayed because of what Queen Chrysalis has done to our kinds name. Now changlings would only be seen as monsters! Knowing this hurts. Just like how she was going to hurt the ponies I suppose... And Dashie! If anything ever happened to her! I would never forgive myself! I tried to find her but failed through all the panic.
Soarin's thoughts begin to drift back from when they first started dating. We both had just started high school when we developed a crush at first sight. Everything just always seemed perfect! Like nothing bad could happen when we were together. Like we could take on the world. Rainbow Dash was always a skilled flier... Me not so much. But I always dreamed of being a wonderbolt, as did Rainbow Dash.
Years later, when we entered age to join the bolts. I still could not fly. It wasn't long before Rainbow Dash couldn't watch my, sad attempts to fly the obstacle course anymore. Then training began. By the end of his first day, I was able to go through the course without hit. I was beyond happy. I only improved from there. The goal Rainbow Dash made for me was to be good enough to try out for the Wonderbolts auditions. They were coming up in just under two month.
I said it was impossible, But Rainbow Dash, as always proved me wrong. She was so excited to see the judges give me my score. Two judges gave me a 10 and one a 9. My score was the highest score so far! Now it was Rainbows turn. She was the last contestant. She sped through the obstacle course with amaizing speed and agility. She was grinning ear to ear as she made all the tight turns with ease. The crowds cheered and all three judges rewarded her with a 10. Her and me both made the cut and were the bolts newest members!
Until Rainbow's Dad found out. She would constantly be gone on tour and doing shows. Her father did have a point when he said it would be very unlikely she would go to collage. So he made Rainbow give up her spot to the next runner up, Surprise. Rainbow Dash's Father thought she should have a collage education. In case something went wrong. And so she would have something to fall back on. Rainbow Dash was crushed. She was forced to give up her spot to the runner up. Forced to give up the spot that would have made her dream come true!
I was going to quit, once I found out. I knew Rainbow wanted this more than anything. But she wouldn't let me. It broke both our hearts when we found out that I would have to stay and live on the base. We had to call off our relationship. I didn't see her again until the gala. Even then it didn't matter. I had been dragged off by fans and didn't get to spend time with her.
"Hey soarin." Some pony interrupted his thoughts "What are you doing out here? Come on! The weddings about to start in less than an hour! You have to get cleaned up and dressed! And that's an order, we're going to be late!" Spitfire said. Soarin sighed. "Ok."
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Also please don't expect any updates until my rainbows dark origins story is complete! But maybe I'll update it when I get the chance.
This sounds REALLY interesting and I haven't read it yet, but ONE thing,
Changelings take form of other ponies, I don't think they can just have a pony form of a pony that isn't in that world ^^' Soooo technically there should be another Soarin in that world... I mean, you could always put up a 'Alternative Universe' tag on.
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I know, that's why I wanted to do something a little diffrent. In this story Soarin decided he wanted something more in life than just the hive. This was said in his flashback. However, in this story he supposable made up his own pony to live as. You can say he mashed up several ponies into one, like I've herd some other stories do but this is some what the same concept. Sorta.
Why do so many dislike?
I
If you dislike please explain why!
Good story, but... There are capitalisation errors, and you have used their when you should be using there and some words are used in the wrong place and there are commas where there should be a full stop for better effect. There are also 3rd to 1st person jumps in the story.
Sorry for picking this apart and pointing out every error I can find but I just want others stories to be the best they can be.
~Discorded
7426455
Thank for the feed back I'll go through it! Thank you! I never mind positive criticism! Your helping me to improve!
7426451 Oh, okay.
"had the corresponding job assigned to *something else*." Or did you mean to use the word "someling"as short for "some changeling" or was it just a mistake?
Also interesting story, I felt like you repeated how much Soarin didn't like what Chrysalis did but I'm not some fanfic critic that'll be on your but the whole time and other than that everything was great, good job
! But poor Rainbow, she lost her dream
hopefully she'll get it back one day
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No, it wasn't a mistake. Someling is basically what somepony, someone. Any ways what I meant by corresponding job was that every job was assigned to a changeling. Sorry if I confused everyone.
Okay every pony I have a short and sweet version of this story! Or I have a ponder dramatic version. You guys can do a vote to see witch you like better. Just post long or short! Thx!!
7426131
7427277
7426455
Also I did my best to review and redo the grammar, let me know if anything els needs fixed!
7427932 ok
but remember to correct the end of the sentence, you put els instead of *else*
7428184 k thanks!!!
7428163
The long and dramatic version, duh XDD
7429243 Hahahahahahahahahahahaha ok thanks! Your wish is my command!
God !! I can not wait for the next chapter!
