An Unexpected Incounter!
Rainbow woke up the the loud pounding of her father banging on the door.
"Wake up, you bad excuse of a Pegasus-" he was cut off as he fell to the floor unconscious from all the alcohol.
Upon hearing her father, Rainbow jumped out of her bed as fast as she could. She folded her sheets the best she could to fit them in her saddle bags. she shoved them inside and smoothed down her mane. She picked up her saddle bags and shoved her carrots in her mouth, and darted out the door only to run right smack into a bright red mare!
"Whoa!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she tripped.
"Oh, are you okay sweetie?" She asked helping rainbow up.
"Yes." Rainbow replied. "Who are you? I've never seen you before?"
"My name is Comet Blaze." Comet Blaze had a blazing red coat and yellowy-orange mane with green eyes. She was waring a gentle smile on her face.
"What are you doing here?" Rainbow questioned her curiosity rising. She heard giggles and tilted her head to the side curiously towards the mares back, only to see a little colt staring back at her. He work a cute grin on his face.
"I'm hear to speak with Rainbow Blaze. You see we met up at a bar one time and we were both drunk, anyway long story short as a result I had comet streak here. I thought it would be a good idea to finally let him meet his father, and tell rainbow Blaze he has a son. She said with a smile."
NO! Rainbow yelled
"What?" Comet Blaze questioned surprised at the fillies outburst!
He will abuse him! And most likely let his pride get in the way, and fight for his custody! He has a lot of friends who work in law enforcement and is highly respected in the community, if you haven't noticed! My dad's mean, Really mean he has been to me ever scents my mother died. When he started drinking, it got worse when he met Firefly! Now they are getting married!! That's why I'm running away! I can't stay here anymore!"
Comet Blaze was shocked at the fillies outburst, and the words she used. She was clearly a very smart for a filly for her age. "What do you mean he abuses you? And that your running away? If he's really hurting you, you should have told and adult or called 911. She said seriously.
"I did! But like I said my dad's highly respected in the community, and has friends in law enforcement. They all didn't believe me and called me a liar, and or didn't want to rat out my dad!"
Comet Blaze eyed the bruises on the filly silently, not sure how to take in all this information.
Comet Streak would be better off, if our dad never knew about him! Rainbow continued. He could get hurt! Either way I'm not staying here! I'll be at the juniors speedsters flight school in Mrs.Windiths 1st grade class if you need me, Rainbow said.
"What?!? No! I'm not letting you go their all by yourself! How old are you 5, 6 maybe? You shouldn't be going all by yourself at this age! Come on, I will just have to contact law enforcement about this abuse. Those bruises are proof enough for me!
"Have you been listening at all! He is highly respected in the community! I already tried! Just stay out of it, and keep your foal away from my dad, and I mean that as his sister. She said her voice softening. He will just get a hold of him and he will be hurt, don't risk it! Besides I have a plan! I'll be fine, you can come check on me every day at flight school if you have to, but I'm not staying here! Neither should he and I have to get to school or I'll be late!"
Comet Blaze sighed "Ok, but I'm walking you to school." She said her mind screaming at her to tell law enforcement, but this filly clearly knew what she was talking about. She would keep quiet and at least keep an eye on her, and wait until she had a chance to think this over and about what she should do about the situation. At least for the time being.
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Heyyy!!! It me again!!! You edited this chapter awesomely, just wanted some things.
The sentence shouldn't have a exclamation mark. You could rewrite the sentence so it's like this:
There is similar mistakes like this in this chapter, but the editing is pretty good.
Hope you don't get annoyed at me for pointing out your mistakes!
7406186 Of course not! Your helping me to improve!! I'm open to positive criticism! I'll look at it, I started another story so I haven't re-edited the other chapter yet but I plan on doing it in the future! Please feel free to point out my mistakes they only help me to improve! thanks for your help! You are NOT annoying! By the way I changed it!
7406335
And oh, I said that the exclamation at the end of the sentence doesn't really make sense. And if you want, I can point out the other things you should fix.
I'll make sure I keep on pointing your mistakes out.
7406367 okie dolie Lokie!!!
This chapter is amazing
7408789 Thank you! I'm also starting a chapter in a Soarindash changeling story and possibly a Crystal war one. I haven't decided glad you like it!