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  • E Fluttershy's House of Villains

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  • 5w, 2d
    Soundslikeponies: The Roadmap

    5 comments · 161 views
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    EFNW - For Those of You Going

    8 comments · 164 views
  • 22w, 5h
    Of Hurdles, Stumbles, and the Fall...

    No I'm not retiring, but I couldn't think of a better title.

    I guess you could say I've been 'stuck' for a while now. A little while after putting out Fluttershy's House of Villains, I got to work on a new story, and quickly pumped out 5k+ words for it and had the entire plot outlined (10-15k words).

    Then, somewhere around 9k words, a third of the way through the second part of the fic, I realized I forgot to make the characters not suck. I'm really at an utter loss. I started out trying to write a Romeo and a Juliet, but after what one could call the 'honeymoon phase' or 'boy-meets-girl phase', I realized there was nowhere to go with their relationship and they were still far from their destination at the story's end.

    I've been tempted to scrap the story, but there plot underlying it feels really good, so I haven't been able to let it go. It feels like if I could just make the characters more of... characters, I would have a really great story on my hands. The problem frustrated me to the point where I just slowly thought about it less and less, until I barely ever worked on it, letting programming and other activities take over the time I used to spend writing.

    Usually when I hit a wall, I either find a way around or over it, or I accept the problems as mistakes that have already been made and carry on. This time I haven't managed to do either.

    I guess the main reason I'm posting this is to voice my frustrations, rubberducking in hopes of finding a solution, but also I feel like I owe some explanation.

    7 comments · 169 views
  • ...
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Source

[Complete] Celestia awakens to see an empty world, white sandstone stretching the horizon. She wanders the world as she builds it from her imagination, filling it with life, but as time passes, the world that she created begins to seem like little more than a lucid dream, conjured from the dust.

First Published
17th Oct 2012
Last Modified
13th Jul 2013
#1 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 1: Celestia ·

So this is almost a prologue. I didn't want to call it one though because a few significant things happen in it (aside from—you know, the world being more or less created).

Also, as indicated by the [Alternate Universe] tag, I'm tossing cannon out of the window to create a slightly different world.

#2 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

Sounds like something that may need the "Sad" (or something related to that) tag later on.

From what I can perceive from only the describtion, (I'm reading another fic right now :3), you focus a bit on the loneliness that Celestia & Luna may feel from creating everything themselves and seeing it as nothing more than a physical version of their imagination.

Worth a try later on... #32 in read later :twilightsheepish:

#3 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

Thumbs for the concept alone.

#4 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 1: Celestia ·

Fascinating.  Certainly this is intriguing and enjoyable thus far. :twilightsmile:

#5 · 105w, 1d ago · 2 · · Part 2: Luna ·

This. This is amazing. I'm reminded of this xkcd comic:

You've managed to really give me the sense that this actually happened, and the slow development of their personalities. Honestly, the only thing we don't know is where Tia came from, but that's never answered in most religions (where the deities came from, that is), so unless Discord is eternal, and decided to set up a little sandbox, and create a custodian for it, we'll never know.

Ooh, now I have the image of Discord's return as being two kids, squabbling over who gets to make the rules for whatever game they're making, and Luna's banishment being a timeout for trying to take control of the sandbox. :moustache:

#6 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

cool, nicely done

now a serious one,

your idea of how the MLP'suniverse began is very interesting, well writing and cuz its incomplete, has enough space for character development, sooo, I'll keep track

#7 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

>>1458442

I actually had a lot of trouble with deciding how to tag this. It has dark and sad parts, but I didn't want to tag it as either since it doesn't have them as a constant mood, and it doesn't have a pivitol point that's extremely sad or dark. It really just touches both elements a little bit.

Honestly if I were to give this an accurate tag outside of fimfiction's tags, it would be [Fantasy], since that's what the story is through and through. Technically you could call just about any mlp fic fantasy (since the show itself is fantasy) but this one falls squarely under the tag.

Also I don't quite think it constitutes for an adventure.

#8 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

Most certainly is this interesting.......I am enjoying the concepts being employed and the interaction between the two Equestrian Goddesses.

Brilliant.:trollestia:

I see monumental potential in this fic.........:pinkiehappy:

#9 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

Simply amazing.

This is going to be in the featured box.

Called it.

#10 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

I've been waiting a while for this, I hope it's as good as your other stories. :twilightsmile:

#11 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

Your imagery is unparalleled.

#12 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

>>1458779

obviously.

#13 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

>>1458669

Slice of life is best, as u put there, but technically, it's both slice of life and adventure...

It's a creation story.

#14 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

inb4 feature

This seems like a very interesting concept, I'm gonna have to read this later :twilightsmile:

#15 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

This is honestly amazing. It's so beautiful in so many ways, I almost teared up while reading it, especially when Tia brought Luna into existence.

I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing more of this awesomeness.

#16 · 105w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

Commence forth read.

#18 · 105w, 18h ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

Commence read.

Comment: Guess that would be one of there first feuds. Glad it worked out. Seems that Luna also learned that she plays a different part in the creation process.

#19 · 105w, 17h ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

Nice. I keep finding myself at a loss for words, on how to describe how the chapters have effected me - other than, you know, these words. And these. And... I'll stop now. :twilightblush:

#20 · 104w, 6d ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

I hate creation myths and such stories. Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em.

This one impresses me. There's a lot of nice, subtle stuff at work here.

#21 · 104w, 6d ago · 1 · · Part 3: Forests ·

I don't always read Alternative Universes involving creation, but when I do, I read this piece. Seriously, its lovely. It is very emotional, yet seems like it holds many other things in store for the readers. Also congrats on EQD feature, it's how I found you !

Also, I'm...not...gonna....:raritycry:

Oh good job, I said I wasn't gonna cry. :raritydespair:

#22 · 104w, 6d ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

Damn, this is so awesome. You are so awesome. Period. Why didn't I read this sooner?! Why did I just add it to my read later list?!

This is the first creation story I've ever read and so far, this isn't even coming close to a disappointment.

Keep up the great work! :twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::yay::ajsmug::raritywink:

#23 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

This raises a rather interesting question. When does Chaos enter the world?

#24 · 104w, 5d ago · · 1 · Part 1: Celestia ·

It feels like she can see further than she ever has before.

Referring to Celestia as It, huh? :twilightangry2: No but really, this one sentence seems to be off from the way you wrote everything else. Or maybe it's just me, I dunno.

#25 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

Welp, these are coming out pretty fast. How big is your buffer for the story? Is it all written already or is it just the first couple chapters here and then we have to wait a bit for the rest?

#26 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

>>1474253

I'm halfway through writing chapter 6

#27 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

>>1474263

And approximately how long do you expect it to be?

This is one of the more interesting stories I've read here by the way, and it certainly doesn't hinder it either that it is very well written. I will be awaiting your future updates eagerly. I can understand why you feel mad at the feature system as well, this story deserves a spot up there.

#28 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

I can see how Nightmare Moon can come into being, but I'm less certain as to why she transforms herself like she did in canon. After all, doing half of the work to create all the ponies, and virtually all of the attention going to her sister has to hurt, even if I can't agree with the methods she took/will take.

Also, is Discord essentially going to be another Luna? Or is he more similar to Celestia, and stumbles across their world? Or did he create Tia, giving her a blank slate just to see what she'd do with it?

MOAR. Unless spacing them out like this makes it easier for you to continue writing at your current pace. In which case, keep up the awesome work!

#29 · 104w, 5d ago · 1 · · Part 1: Celestia ·

Finally got aroud to reading this... And wow..

It's unlike anything I've ever read before... I have so much to say yet so little.

>>1473870

He isn't referring to Celestia as 'It'. He's referring to the 'feeling' as It.

#30 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

She walks out into the water to stand next to Celestia, and stares at the intently.

I think you missed a word there

#31 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

>>1474350

I'm guestimating around 9 chapters. But I might choose to incorporate other elements into the plot to make the last third of the fic longer.

#32 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

She suddenly stops and turns to look at the, her eyes taking a more somber tone.

I think you missed a word here. :twilightsmile:

#33 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

>>1474912

That means we get at least a couple of of chapters of ancient Equestrian history I hope. I'd imagine the creation itself probably ends in chapter five or six, where I suppose the rise of civilization takes over. Or perhaps Discord enters the picture to mess things up? I look forward to finding out anyway. :twilightsmile:

#34 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

It certainly does read like an Acid trip. That vision/dream Celestia had me freaking out. Also, I love this. It seems like we have a few more chapters of awesome before you end this, so I wish you good luck. :twilightsmile:

#35 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

hmm... y hasint this been featured. i dont get it i mean this is good, realy good.

#36 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

Great story! I think the feature box is busted though, this sooooooo deserves to be up there. :pinkiehappy:

#37 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

Awesome. This deserves to be featured! Not just once. Several times.

soundslikeponies, you are amazing. You never fail to disappoint. Well done, once again. I expect more. When this is done, I'll have my fingers crossed for a sequel. :moustache:

#38 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

Something's telling me we haven't seen the last of that ash pony.

This is truly an awesome story, and I can't wait to read more. :twilightsmile:

#39 · 104w, 4d ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

>>1473312

Chaos is already present in the form of their dispute.

#40 · 104w, 4d ago · · 1 · Part 2: Luna ·

My only problem with this chapter (and so far story) is that Celestia created the moon, I think Luna should have.

#41 · 104w, 4d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

This story needs to be the next "thing", you know what I mean?:twilightsmile: (no not in a perverted way)

a3V
#42 · 104w, 4d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

Alright, slp. I shall keep an eye on this.

This chapter was particularly ominous.

#43 · 104w, 2d ago · 1 · · Part 1: Celestia ·

Wow. Creation right there.

#44 · 104w, 1d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

That was fucking stellar.

#45 · 104w, 1d ago · 1 · · Part 1: Celestia ·

That was....how do I even describe the amazingness of this?

#46 · 104w, 1d ago · · · Part 2: Luna ·

So beautiful :pinkiesad2:

#47 · 104w, 1d ago · · · Part 1: Celestia ·

Just the premise reminds me of a story I read on here about Celestia after the end as it were.  Everyone but her was dead, the world a burning husk and stuff, very sad story.  Dunno how this'll turn out but I'll give it a try.

:yay::eeyup:

#48 · 104w, 1d ago · · · Part 3: Forests ·

This story is so God damn good.

#49 · 104w, 1d ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

This story is magnificent! The descriptions and imagery are so vivid and clear, it's just simply beautiful!

Definitely fav'd!

#50 · 104w, 19h ago · · · Part 4: Life ·

These descriptions of Celestia and Luna, their world, and what they create are so detailed, it makes each little action or scene feel alive, even moreso than the window i look out of next to my computer.  I can just picture exactly what happens in my mind and it's just so clear and resolute in it's beauty.  I'm certainly looking forward to more of these vivid scenes.

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