Celestia awakens to see an empty world, white sandstone stretching the horizon. She wanders the world as she builds it from her imagination, filling it with life, but as time passes, the world that she created begins to seem like little more than a lucid dream, conjured from the dust.
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Comments ( 298 )
So this is almost a prologue. I didn't want to call it one though because a few significant things happen in it (aside from—you know, the world being more or less created).
Also, as indicated by the [Alternate Universe] tag, I'm tossing cannon out of the window to create a slightly different world.
Sounds like something that may need the "Sad" (or something related to that) tag later on.
From what I can perceive from only the describtion, (I'm reading another fic right now :3), you focus a bit on the loneliness that Celestia & Luna may feel from creating everything themselves and seeing it as nothing more than a physical version of their imagination.
Worth a try later on... #32 in read later ![]()
Fascinating. Certainly this is intriguing and enjoyable thus far.
This. This is amazing. I'm reminded of this xkcd comic:
You've managed to really give me the sense that this actually happened, and the slow development of their personalities. Honestly, the only thing we don't know is where Tia came from, but that's never answered in most religions (where the deities came from, that is), so unless Discord is eternal, and decided to set up a little sandbox, and create a custodian for it, we'll never know.
Ooh, now I have the image of Discord's return as being two kids, squabbling over who gets to make the rules for whatever game they're making, and Luna's banishment being a timeout for trying to take control of the sandbox. ![]()
cool, nicely done
now a serious one,
your idea of how the MLP'suniverse began is very interesting, well writing and cuz its incomplete, has enough space for character development, sooo, I'll keep track
I actually had a lot of trouble with deciding how to tag this. It has dark and sad parts, but I didn't want to tag it as either since it doesn't have them as a constant mood, and it doesn't have a pivitol point that's extremely sad or dark. It really just touches both elements a little bit.
Honestly if I were to give this an accurate tag outside of fimfiction's tags, it would be [Fantasy], since that's what the story is through and through. Technically you could call just about any mlp fic fantasy (since the show itself is fantasy) but this one falls squarely under the tag.
Also I don't quite think it constitutes for an adventure.
Most certainly is this interesting.......I am enjoying the concepts being employed and the interaction between the two Equestrian Goddesses.
Brilliant.![]()
I see monumental potential in this fic.........![]()
Simply amazing.
This is going to be in the featured box.
Called it.
I've been waiting a while for this, I hope it's as good as your other stories. ![]()
inb4 feature
This seems like a very interesting concept, I'm gonna have to read this later ![]()
This is honestly amazing. It's so beautiful in so many ways, I almost teared up while reading it, especially when Tia brought Luna into existence.
I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing more of this awesomeness.
Oh, my. This is not just good. This is awesome.
To the Featured box, NOW!
Commence read.
Comment: Guess that would be one of there first feuds. Glad it worked out. Seems that Luna also learned that she plays a different part in the creation process.
Nice. I keep finding myself at a loss for words, on how to describe how the chapters have effected me - other than, you know, these words. And these. And... I'll stop now. ![]()
I hate creation myths and such stories. Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em.
This one impresses me. There's a lot of nice, subtle stuff at work here.
I don't always read Alternative Universes involving creation, but when I do, I read this piece. Seriously, its lovely. It is very emotional, yet seems like it holds many other things in store for the readers. Also congrats on EQD feature, it's how I found you !
Also, I'm...not...gonna....![]()
Oh good job, I said I wasn't gonna cry. ![]()
Damn, this is so awesome. You are so awesome. Period. Why didn't I read this sooner?! Why did I just add it to my read later list?!
This is the first creation story I've ever read and so far, this isn't even coming close to a disappointment.
Keep up the great work! ![]()
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This raises a rather interesting question. When does Chaos enter the world?
It feels like she can see further than she ever has before.
Referring to Celestia as It, huh?
No but really, this one sentence seems to be off from the way you wrote everything else. Or maybe it's just me, I dunno.
Welp, these are coming out pretty fast. How big is your buffer for the story? Is it all written already or is it just the first couple chapters here and then we have to wait a bit for the rest?
And approximately how long do you expect it to be?
This is one of the more interesting stories I've read here by the way, and it certainly doesn't hinder it either that it is very well written. I will be awaiting your future updates eagerly. I can understand why you feel mad at the feature system as well, this story deserves a spot up there.
I can see how Nightmare Moon can come into being, but I'm less certain as to why she transforms herself like she did in canon. After all, doing half of the work to create all the ponies, and virtually all of the attention going to her sister has to hurt, even if I can't agree with the methods she took/will take.
Also, is Discord essentially going to be another Luna? Or is he more similar to Celestia, and stumbles across their world? Or did he create Tia, giving her a blank slate just to see what she'd do with it?
MOAR. Unless spacing them out like this makes it easier for you to continue writing at your current pace. In which case, keep up the awesome work!
She walks out into the water to stand next to Celestia, and stares at the intently.
I think you missed a word there
She suddenly stops and turns to look at the, her eyes taking a more somber tone.
I think you missed a word here. ![]()
That means we get at least a couple of of chapters of ancient Equestrian history I hope. I'd imagine the creation itself probably ends in chapter five or six, where I suppose the rise of civilization takes over. Or perhaps Discord enters the picture to mess things up? I look forward to finding out anyway. ![]()
It certainly does read like an Acid trip. That vision/dream Celestia had me freaking out. Also, I love this. It seems like we have a few more chapters of awesome before you end this, so I wish you good luck. ![]()
hmm... y hasint this been featured. i dont get it i mean this is good, realy good.
Great story! I think the feature box is busted though, this sooooooo deserves to be up there. ![]()
Awesome. This deserves to be featured! Not just once. Several times.
soundslikeponies, you are amazing. You never fail to disappoint. Well done, once again. I expect more. When this is done, I'll have my fingers crossed for a sequel. ![]()
Something's telling me we haven't seen the last of that ash pony.
This is truly an awesome story, and I can't wait to read more. ![]()
My only problem with this chapter (and so far story) is that Celestia created the moon, I think Luna should have.
This story needs to be the next "thing", you know what I mean?
(no not in a perverted way)
Alright, slp. I shall keep an eye on this.
This chapter was particularly ominous.
Just the premise reminds me of a story I read on here about Celestia after the end as it were. Everyone but her was dead, the world a burning husk and stuff, very sad story. Dunno how this'll turn out but I'll give it a try.
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This story is magnificent! The descriptions and imagery are so vivid and clear, it's just simply beautiful!
Definitely fav'd!
These descriptions of Celestia and Luna, their world, and what they create are so detailed, it makes each little action or scene feel alive, even moreso than the window i look out of next to my computer. I can just picture exactly what happens in my mind and it's just so clear and resolute in it's beauty. I'm certainly looking forward to more of these vivid scenes.
Part six is halfway done. I'm hopefully going to complete it before the end of the month, but I also have a nightmare night themed one shot I want to write before halloween, and chapters of flying high, falling hard I need to edit
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Enjoy.
An Equestria creation story? I am intrigued, marked to read later.
Celestia stares at it, her frustration growing, until suddenly stands up.
you seemed to have missed a word there
Neat chapter. Will be interesting to eventually see what the deal is with those dreams and not!Luna.
And the plot thickens even more. I'm really curious about when Discord will be coming in, and what his relationship with the Diarchs is.
So much win. I can't describe my feelings in any other way.
Did you get the idea of this from the game From Dust? I had actually thought this was going to be some kinda crossover with it after reading the description and title. At any rate, neat idea, keep it up. ![]()
I understand the ashen Luna now. At first, I thought she was there to represent the future Nightmare Moon, but she was actually there to show Celestia what was missing.
This is story is absolutely beautiful, and I cannot wait to see what happens as Luna and Celestia watch the ponies create their civilizations.
God I can only imagine how hard Celestia's feels will be hit when/if Nightmare Moon. It might even be worse then Canon since they existed in the company of other ponies from birth from what Canon suggest and here they only had one another.
That was really interesting and well-paced. I can see that Luna's creation took as much care and time that the sun's creation ; it's a really nice touch.
I love this kind of creation myth.
Wow, the sense of peace I felt reading this. Faved and upvoted, and I just read the first chapter.
This is a beautiful and most importantly completely natural feeling creation myth.
Every thing they have made they made with inspiration of how the world is changed by what had come before...
Also it helps that Celestia's fear and possibly the greatest and most terrible horror I've ever felt are practically the same.
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I hope it ends well
I knew we hadn't seen the last of that ashen pony! I wonder- ![]()
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Wait a minute... If that pony is showing Celestia what's missing... Would it be the reason Discord comes to life? ![]()
This is truly a beautiful story. Your take on each character is unique and makes them feel alive; Though your creation of Luna I found particularly interesting. I am excited to eventually be able to analyze this epic at a later date, I do hope you write this for a long time.
I don’t always finish reading stories of Celestia as a Goddess
but when I do, they always seems to be so short
After reading chapter one through five I have a few comments. First the story is well written in a technical sense. The descriptions and imagery gives the reader their own window into the world.
Now to the bad which may change in a later chapter. The story is rather generic so far. It may be due to how far back to the beginning the creation process started. However I can't stop myself thinking that a a few simple name changes could place this story into any number of universes or even an original one.
This turned out a bit longer than I thought it would.
Breaking News:
I recently re-evaluated the plot direction I had in mind for this story. I came up with a new direction for it that solved some of the problems I had with the planned storyline, but had its own problems with fitting into the story so far.
So I figured, why not combine them?
This story is now probably going to run 15ish chapters instead of 10ish.
Also it's NaNoWriMo, and although I started late, I'm attempting to write 50k words this month (all of which will be for this story (aside from the 'let's find you a date!' epilogue))
I so love this story, one of the few around here that I actually wait for ![]()
It reminds me why I love godgames so much - Populous, Black & White, and... uh, From Dust, actually. Shaping the world, step by step, watching over civilizations... and eventually planting volcanoes everywhere, because it's so boring. Now if only those games actually had some interesting characters, instead of just leaving the player with a bunch of toys.
Luckily, your story is simply amazing in that regard. Can't wait to see what you have in store in the future ![]()
Well if that corruption stuff is what I think it is, this won't end very well...
Oh, and the goddesses (even if I'm slightly trepidation to call Luna such as she was technically created by Celestia) just became saviors, now onto lots of people bugging them to be Princesses and solve all their problems!
15 chapters instead of 10? I have no problems with this ![]()
Still, revealing themselves to ponykind is...going to really change things. /understatement
So, I read the description and automagically thought of Minecraft. Or one of CNBminecraft's sandstone worlds.
The Goddesses have been revealed
All hail Celestia Sol Invicta, Hail the Unconquered Sun
All Hail Luna Lunam Obstinata, Hail the Unyielding Moon
If you can't tell I've been wanting to say that for a while ![]()
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So, while I was reading this, I just figured something out... This is why enemies turn to stone, aren't they? I mean, it should be. Because they came from statues and so, when something Celestia and Luna create doesn't work out, they put it back to stone. Such as Discord.
I am really eager to see if I'm right. Also, this story is epic and I love it! ![]()
Was that village Ponyville? I can't wait to see where the story goes from here. ![]()
And thus begins the Church of the Sun and the Moon.
Taking into account how the ponies of the world currently are and the nature of most religious people, we are about to see some of the most brutal wars and horrible atrocities committed by pony kind. Both committed against worshipers of Luna and Celestia and committed by them.
This is the only chapter so far that has made me even close to shed tears.
I can just imagine Luna and Celestia, standing side by side with their horns aglow, thawing and healing the lands around them.
I don't think so. Luna and Celestia is first seen standing side by side. There's no reason for dispute between ponies. It's not like Christianity that made innumerable crusades to spread the faith (One of the things that makes me ashamed of being Christian myself)
I'm going to make a random prediction here, just so I can be smug about it later if I'm right: That little colt whose village was just saved, when he grows up, he'll have the best, most awesome and greatest beard among ponykind and he will be immortalized in (pre-) Equestrian history as exactly that: the Bearded. His name is Starswirl. ![]()
The story is awesome.
And we can see the distinct personality between Luna and Celestia.
Well, too many feelings and I hope my English can be better for reading..
Damn.. I was knock down by the shear of awesome..
Another great chapter. You describe this so well, that (again, probably) i'm left pretty much speechless. This story is so beautiful, from both an artistic and technical standpoint. It flows so perfectly that... i can't even describe it any other way. You paint such a vivid picture that when i close my eyes after reading a scene, i can just see it happening in my mind. I'm not sure what else i can say to convey how much i love this story.
And hearing this story will be 15ish chapters? My immediate thought was, "BONUS!", knowing i'd get to read more and more of this wonderful world you've created here. Semi-subconsciously, I've got some ideas on where this will go, but i'm not sure that i care about that. To be honest, i'm actively trying to stop doing that for this story. I'd rather feel along for the ride, as it just feels better to me here.
You know, this isn't enough in my book, but this is about all i can offer at this point. You've given my mind such beautiful, vivid images, and i feel like i can't do anything to give you something in return. Have one of these. I've not given more than two or three of these in the past few weeks.
She's never going to get away from the Princess thing, is she.
I"ve only read the furst part and thus far, amazing. I love AU stories... I love.. well, this kind of stuff :) This feels liek a creation myth, honestly. WEll, I mean, obviously, but past that, the measurements -- millions of hoofsteps-- and so forth feel like something spoken of in soft tones around a fire, to a collection of hushed foals, looking up with sparkling eyes as the old unicorn speaking to them provides a few effects to embellish his tale... the soft rush of water as Her Tears fill the seas, the delicate scent of salt in the air, soft blue light as the Sun joins the Sky, a warm orb of light as the sun takes shape before her eyes before it drifts up into the night sky for the foals watching enraptured.
I love this. <3 Can you tell?
This is amazing. It should become an epic about the history of the Equestrian world.
Great story. There's something in it which I can't describe, something that I have only seen in very few stories on this site and which somehow touches my heart.
It makes me smile. Im looking for the next time I can smile again.
Minor nitpick: if pegasi haven't realized their potential for weatherworking yet, how can their be a weather service? or is it that Storm Gale hasn't learnt about pegasus magic yet?
Just like most unicorns aren't capable of all the spells Twilight can do, most pegasi aren't capable of using their type of magic to that great an extent. Almost all unicorns can levitate, almost all pegasi can walk on clouds. But there are far fewer pegasi (basically none) that learn how to use their magic to the extent that the unicorns practice their magic. It's more difficult, less practical, and less flexible than unicorn magic. And very few pegasi have the talent to do it.
I.E. Pegasus magic is usually just something minorly inherent, but very rarely pegasi are born with lots of magical power.
I considered having the explanation of what earth pony magic is, but I decided to cut it since that would be a tangent, and I'm not sure if earth pony magic will even come up again in this fic. Earth Pony magic involves enhancing strength and muscles and being able to grow giant plants spontaneously fast. The earth ponies' inherent magic that most of them have access to is basic increased strength and an ability to sense the health/well-being of plants, making them excellent farmers.
A pegasus as Celestia's first student, how delightfully different.







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