Chapter 10: A Soft Kind Laughter
Written by Star-Killer89; Edited by Sam
Special Thanks to FEuJenny07 and Dekomaru
NOTE: For those who don't want to read the romantic part of the chapter, skip to: “And…that’s it.”
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PONYVILLE - 2 YEARS AGO
“…the meanest kind of mean meanie-pants there is. I can take it, but no one treats Fluttershy like that. No. One.” Said Pinkie with a mixed tone of anger and determination “This calls for extreme measures, Pinkie Pie style.”
She then started to make plans on how to expose the true Gilda to Rainbow Dash, but she suddenly stopped.
She was a little surprised that she decided to act only after Gilda abused Fluttershy, that it was her way of behaving towards the yellow pegasus to convince her to take extreme measures.
But then again, Fluttershy was the kind of pony that had always lead others to protect her, so, maybe she just wanted to protect her as well.
“Maybe I just don’t want anything bad to happen to her, like everypony else.” She said to herself.
But it was just a short-lived thought, as she shook her head and regained to trot towards Sugarcube Corner “No time for inner dilemmas, I need to plan everything out.”
2 WEEKS LATER - PEAK OF THE MOUNTAINS NEAR PONYVILLE
“…Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully.” Fluttershy was scolding the dragon, as she started to trot on his muzzle “You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire.” She continued, now staring directly in the dragon’s huge eyes “But you do not-- I repeat-- You do not! Hurt! My! Friends!”
‘Dear Celestia, is this the same Fluttershy?’ Asked herself an upside-down Pinkie ‘Is this the same pegasus that flew off crying because she was yelled by a griffin just a few weeks ago? And now she’s facing a dragon all alone?’ She thought with a mix of incredulity and admiration.
“…Now go pack your things.” Was saying Fluttershy, as she flew back on the ground “You just need to find a new place to sleep. That's all.”
Pinkie and the other girls started to approach her, cheering for the great deed she was able to perform.
‘She’s stronger and braver than I thought.’ Cheerfully thought Pinkie.
After a while, as they started to go back down the mountain, Fluttershy approached her “Uhm… are you ok?”
“Of course I am.” Firmly replied Pinkie “Why are you asking?”
“Oh, it’s just…. you know… You came out of the cave pretty beaten up and I was worried-”
“Don’t worry your little head Fluttershy.” Replied Pinkie with a big smile, putting a hoof on her head and ruffling her mane “It will take more then a surly dragon to take down this party pony. Uh, speaking of which, I should totally throw a ‘Thanks for having saved Equestria from a hundred years of smoke cover’ party. Hey girls. Giiiiirls, everypony’s invited to Sugarcube Corner when we get back!” She started to yell, as she bounced away to reach the others.
Fluttershy took a deep breath of relief “Thank goodness.” She whispered.
1 MONTH LATER - BORDERS OF THE EVERFREE FOREST
“…It's a good idea to stop and listen to your friends' opinions and perspectives-” Twilight was reporting to the Princess, as she was sudden interrupted by the clash of a pair of crash cymbals Pinkie was using to drive the parasprites off Ponyville “-even when they don't always seem to make sense.”
‘I can’t believe Pinkie had the solution for the problem the whole time.’ Thought an incredulous Fluttershy ‘And what have we done? We just decided to ignore her, thinking she was just blabbing nonsense.’ She then lowered her head in shame ‘Twilight is right, friends do not act that way. I only hope Pinkie is not mad at us.’
“Well DUH, why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments?” Pinkie was explaining to Twilight “I tried to tell you.”
“We know Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen.” Said Twilight, as everypony started to apologize “You're a great friend, even if we don't always understand you.”
“Thanks guys, you're all great friends too… even when I don't understand me.” Replied Pinkie.
‘She’s full of surprises and is always ready to forgive other ponies. She’s so…. wonderful.’ Thought Fluttershy, while a feeling of great happiness started to fill her.
3 MONTHS LATER - PONYVILLE’S MARKET
“Are you sure you don’t miss your modelling career Fluttershy?” Asked Pinkie, as the two mares where walking across the market while doing shopping.
“Not at all, it is harder than many ponies thinks.” Replied Fluttershy “I had to wake every morning at sunrise, spend more then 2 hours just for make up, stay at the photo studio all day, wearing dozens and dozens of different outfits and posing for hours…All without a single bite in the stomach, because I could have ‘Ruined my perfect figure’.” She mimicked Photo Finish’s accent, as both her and Pinkie burst into laugh.
“Well, it’s kind of a shame though that you had to suffer all that.” Started to say Pinkie “But I have to say you were really pretty on those magazines covers.”
Fluttershy’s cheeks started to turn red “Y-You really think so?” She shyly asked.
Pinkie just started to feel a little embarassed, as if she just said something awkward to her friend “S-Sure. I mean, not that you’re not normally pretty.” She kept saying, as she started to blush as well.
“I-I mean…” She started to nervously looking around “O-Oh look, asparagus. I Really need those.” She then said, adding a slight chuckle as she started to trot towards the stand.
Fluttershy stood on the spot for a couple of seconds “She thinks I’m pretty.” She whispered, raising a smile, and then followed her friend.
1 WEEK LATER - APPLELOOSA
Pinkie was in the backstage, practicing the song she was going to sing to both the ponies of Appleloosa and the members of the buffalo tribe, when she saw Fluttershy coming towards her.
“Uhm… I’m sorry Pinkie. May I interrupt you for a moment?” Shyly asked the pegasus.
“Sure thing Fluttershy.” Replied Pinkie “What can I do for you?”
She timidly approached the pink pony and said “Uhm… I wanted to apologize for the way I acted before.”
“What do you mean?” Asked Pinkie, tilting her head with a curious expression.
“Well… you know… hugging you in that way... in front of everypony…” She said with her eyes instinctively pointed to the ground, trying in every way to avoid looking at Pinkie’s face.
“But I liked your hug.” Replied the pink pony, as she then started to lightly blush “D-Don’t worry about that. It didn’t bother me.”
Fluttershy seemed to realize that the situation was degenerating, as she impulsively added “A-After all, we are just friends....right?”
“Y-Yeah!” Replied Pinkie, slightly subdued “The best.” She then added in a firmer tone, with a smile on her face.
Fluttershy took a sigh of relief “Thanks Pinkie.” She finally said and then started to leave.
As Fluttershy walked away from the stage, tears of desprair started to run on her cheeks “Stupid, stupid Fluttershy. You wasted your only chance.”
1 MONTH LATER - APPLEJACK’S BARN
The surprise party the girls had set up for Pinkie was practically over. All the other girls had already left, but Pinkie and Fluttershy offered to help Applejack clean her barn up.
As Applejack had left to discard the confetti and paper chains used to decorate the room, the two mares found themselves alone.
“Hey Fluttershy?” Started to say Pinkie, approaching the pegasus while she was busy putting away the boxes of Pinkie’s presents “I wanted to thank you all.”
“For what?” Curiously asked the yellow pony.
“For everything. For the party, the cake, the presents. Everything!” She replied with joy “I was really sad when I thought you didn’t want to hang around with me anymore, and I think I overreacted a little.”
Fluttershy giggled in reply “Yeah, you were pretty scary.”
“But, really, I want to thank you all.” She added as she approached Fluttershy “Thanks for being my friend.” She concluded, as she started to hug her.
Fluttershy was at first caught by surprise and her heart started to beat faster, as she was torn about what to do, but after a while she simply returned the hug “I…we will always be there for you.”
Applejack coughed in the distance “Do ya’ll mind if I join this emotional moment of yours, pard’ners?”
Both Fluttershy and Pinkie giggled in reply “Persmission granted.” Replied Pinkie, as both her and Fluttershy holded one hoof towards the farm pony, inviting her to join them.
8 MONTHS AGO - SUGARCUBE CORNER
“Again, we’re so, so, so much sorry for having left you and Rarity behind in the desert.” Was apologizing Fluttershy.
“Oh don’t worry Flutters.” Replied Pinkie “Actually, we had a lot of fun, and I believe this experience has improved my friendship with Rarity too. After all, that’s the longest time we ever spent together alone.”
“Oh, I see.” Said Fluttershy a little relieved “I’m glad for you.”
“Yeah, that kinda reminded me the time when me, Dashie and Spike spent that night with the buffalo tribe...”
As she heard those words, Fluttershy couldn’t help but be saddened a little, because it was then that her hopes seemed to have been permanently damped.
“...however, there’s only one thing I regret about this event.” Kept saying Pinkie in a serious tone.
“Uh...oh, what is it?” Curiously asked Fluttershy, putting aside her sadness and paying attention to her friend once again.
Pinkie slightly lowered her head and, with a little smirk on her face, shyly said “Unlike the last time, you still haven’t jumped towards me to give me a hug.”
As she rose her head again, she could see Fluttershy leaping towards her, a huge smile on her face, as she grabbed her in a hug and said “I’m happy that you’re back.”
To her surprise, Pinkie’s heart started to beat a little faster, a warm sensation flushed over her and, oddly enough, she felt a little happier too, as she smiled back to Fluttershy and returned her hug “Me too.”
2 MONTHS LATER - FLUTTERSHY’S COTTAGE
After the Iron Will incident, Fluttershy had invited both Rarity and Pinkie to join her for a cup of tea, but Rarity declined the offer, saying that she had some business to back at Carousel Boutique, and now the two mares were the only occupants of the room.
“I still don’t know how will I ever be able to make amend with you girls for the way I treated you.” Fluttershy was apologizing.
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Replied Pinkie “I’m just glad the old, nice Flutters is back.”
“No, seriously, I-I really mean it.” Firmly continued Fluttershy “I acted awfully towards you and Rarity. I insulted your intelligence, your passions and your talents.”
She then started to heavily cry, as the memory of how she acted was still tormenting her “I called you frivolous, a-and...said that you were throwing your lives away on p-pointless activities that nopony cares about. I….I acted like a real monster.”
As she lowered her head and let the tears flow, Pinkie approached her, put a hoof on her shoulder and lifted her head with the other one “You’re not a monster. Like Rarity and I said earlier, you were just influenced by the teachings of that minotaur.” She told her in a reassuring tone “We never thought for a moment that you were a monster, nor we would ever think it.”
Fluttershy sniffed a couple of tears back “For real?”
Pinkie smiled in reply “For real!”
Fluttershy was really glad to hear those words and, once again and instinctively, her heart suddenly started to beat faster as this time, however, maybe beacause of the fact that now Pinkie was just a few inches from her, she also started to hyperventilate.
She couldn’t help it. She had seriously tried to repress her feelings towards Pinkie. She tried to act naturally when she was in her company. She tried not to spend every single moment she was away from her desiring to see that fluffy pink mane by her side. She really tried to consider her only a dear friend.
But she couldn’t continue to repress that part of herself anymore.
“Are you ok Flutter-“ Started to say Pinkie, but was abruptly interrupted, as Fluttershy, caught by her emotions, leaned towards the pink pony and rested her lips on her mouth, finally kissing her. Her heart beat faster and a warm feeling returned as their lips met.
Pinkie was caught by surprise and her brain wasn’t able to properly analyze the situation. So, her body decided to take control, as she instinctively reached for Fluttershy, eyes closed and lips stretched to prolong that sudden outburst of passion.
Fluttershy, however, almost immediately detached from her and started to blush all over her face, fear starting to form on her face as she realized she might have just pushed herself too far.
Feeling no more the contact of Fluttershy’s lips on her own, Pinkie reopened her eyes, and the expression of embarassment on her friend’s face seemed to shook her from that state.
“I-I....I....” Pinkie tried to say, but the words seemed to get stuck in her throat “I....gotta go.” She was finally able to speak, as she left Fluttershy’s house in a hurry, dazed and confused.
“No, please wai-...” Futtershy started to say, raising her hoof towards the door to stop her, but it was too late. She had already gone.
“Oh no. What have I done?” She whispered panic-stricken after a while.
She left the kitchen, run upstairs in her bedroom and threw herself on the bed, face buried in her pillow, deeply crying “Oh Celestia, what have I done? I’ve ruined everything!”
5 WEEKS LATER - FLUTTERSHY’S COTTAGE
Pinkie was hesitant. She proposed to ask her friends to give the Cakes a hoof to deliver the cake they had made for this year’s national dessert competition, and now there was only one pony left to ask. Yet, she has been standing for more than 30 minutes in front of the door, trying to figure out the best way to start the conversation about what happened between them more than a month before in that same cottage.
She hoped the day they’d spent at the spa the week before with their friends could have helped to set matters straight, but she couldn’t find a moment to take her aside and speak with her face to face.
After a while, a little disappointed by her lack of courage, she gave up, and decided to leave.
‘Maybe I’ll try again when we’ll be back.’ She thought, but as soon as she started to turn away, the door opened, and Fluttershy started to come out of her home, only to stop a second later, as she was face to face with the pink pony.
“H-Hi Fluttershy.” Coyly greeted her Pinkie “I-I was just going to knock the door.”
“Uh…uhm…h-hi Pinkie” Replied Fluttershy, as she started to hide her face behind her mane, the shame for what she did still clear on her face.
“I need to tell you something.” Finally said both mares at the same time.
Immediately, Pinkie added “Y-You first.”
“O-Ok…please, come in.” The shy pegasus said, as she let Pinkie enter.
Once they were both in the living room, Fluttershy took a deep breath and draw upon all her courage “I need to apologize for the way I acted towards you.”
As Pinkie immediately tried to interrupt her, she rose her hoof towards her mouth “Please, let me finish. I…I acted under personal instincts, regardless of your thoughts or feelings.”
“T-The truth is I….I think at you as more than a friend, but…but...” She started to say, a huge fear in her voice and tears already forming in her eyes “But I don’t want this feeling to become a barrier between us and our friendship and…and I don’t know what to do anymore.” She concluded, as she down and finally allowed her tears to flow on her face, which she immediately covered between her hooves.
After a while, she felt her head lifted and saw Pinkie a few inches away, as she had also moved her mane aside and was now looking her deep in her eyes “Don’t cry, silly filly. I also consider you more than a friend...” She started to say with a bitter smile on her lips “...but I’m still not sure what these emotions I feel for you exactly are.” She added, as it was quite some time that she was trying to sort what were her feelings towards the pegasus, failing to date.
She then helped Fluttershy to her hooves and said “I think I will need a little more time to figure this thing out, but I promise you one thing.” She added, as she put both her hooves on Fluttershy’s shoulders and said in a reassuring tone “No matter what, I will always remain your friend.”
Fluttershy wiped her tears and asked “Y-You promise?”
Pinkie smiled in reply and said “Pinkie Promise.” as she mimicked the movements of her personal oath.
“Thank you.” Said Fluttershy, as she lept towards Pinkie and started to hug her, partly afraid of what her future answer would have been, but most of all relieved that, despite everything, she had not ruined their friendship.
4 MONTHS AGO - CANTERLOT’S CASTLE
That was the best wedding ever.
Sure, the changelings invasion had almost succeeded in overthrowing the princesses government, but everything turned for the good, as Cadance and Shining Armor were able to defeat Chrysalis and banish her and her subjects from the capital. And now, the girls were all in their rooms, exhausted after a long night of celebration, both for the close shave and the wedding.
Fluttershy was already blissfully sleeping in her bed, when she suddenly woke up, as somepony was gently but insistently knocking at her door. Still half asleep, she dragged herself to the door and opened it. On the other side stood Pinkie.
“Sorry to bother you Flutters, but I need to talk to you.”
“Oh…Pinkie. You’re not giving me any bother. Please, come in.” She replied, as she stepped aside, allowing Pinkie to enter. She climbed on the bed and sat down, inviting Pinkie to do the same “So, what did you want to talk about?”
After a while, Pinkie took a deep breath and said “Well, a lot of things happened in these past few days…I mean, the wedding, the changelings invasion…”
“Having ignored the warnings of Twilight about that fake Cadence…” Added Fluttershy with a little shame.
“Yeah. It really seems that break down she had 7 months ago taught us nothing…” Sadly continued Pinkie “I’ll really have to organize a ‘Forgive us for not having listened to you once again’ party when we’ll be back home… Anyway, all of these things made me think.”
“About what?”
“About us.” Firmly said Pinkie “I mean, think about it. First Nightmare Moon, then Discord, and now this meanie queen Chrysalis. And what about that manticore, the dragon on the mountain outside town, the parasprites infestation, the hydra, those dogs that ponynapped Rarity…”
“What are you trying to say Pinkie?” Asked Fluttershy with a curious tone.
“I think I understood that we do not live common lives, well, at least not at the same level that normal ponies live… I mean, we face new dangers almost every week, and many of those are deadly ones.”
She then stopped for a second to catch air and repeat in her mind what she wanted to tell “So, I started to think ‘What if the next time we won’t be so lucky? What if one of us will be seriously injured? What if that will happen to Flutters before I had a chance to clarify my feelings for her?’ So, in the last few hours, I seriously thought about what I felt for you…”
“A-And….what is the asnwe-” Shyly started to ask Fluttershy, but her words were cut off, as Pinkie had leant towards her and had started to gently kiss her on the lips. Fluttershy was caught by surprise, but after a moment, she started to return the kiss.
They remained in that position for almost 20 seconds, but for them they seemed like no more than a couple had passed, while they both savoured the flavor of the lips of the other one. As their mouth parted, Pinkie said panting “I love you Flutters.”
Fluttershy smiled in reply “I love you too, Pinkie.”
And so they stood there all night, one in the hooves of the other, in a warm embrace, without speaking a word, both of them just happy to have finally expressed their feelings.
~ ~ ~
“And…that’s it.” Concluded Pinkie.
Immediately, all the guests stepped even closer to Pinkie and Fluttershy, wanting to learn more. About how they lived the days after the love confession, if they had any plans for the future “And most importantly...” Asked Spike “...when did you understand it?"
All the presents, except for Trixie, who had heard the whole story from afar, feeling out of place once again in presence of such a display of affection between ponies so united.
- - -
PONYVILLE - PONYVILLE LIBRARY
JULY 19 - 10:27 P.M.
The party was over, but everypony decided to stay a little longer to help Trixie and Spike cleaning up. As expected from the baby dragon, he was the first one to fall asleep on his feet, so, after they brought him upstairs to his bed, Twilight and Derpy decided to make some coffee, while the other girls were taking the main hall back to its usual aspect.
Trixie was using her magic to dust the bookshelves of the remaining paper chains when Fluttershy and Pinkie approached her “Hey Trixie, we really wanted to thank you.” Said the pink pony.
“What for?” Replied Trixie.
“For helping us telling the others about our relationship of course.” Continued Fluttershy.
Trixie chuckled ironically in reply “Trixie did nothing.”
“Oh, but you really helped us.” Replied Fluttershy “You gave us the opportunity to tell the others. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know how much longer we would have kept this a secret, so…thank you.” She said, smiling towards her.
“Well, let’s just say we’re even for this party then.” Said Trixie, as she turned her back on them and bitterly added “I suppose Twilight and Luna will be glad that this plan they had organized to make Trixie socialize with you had gone well.”
“Actually, this wasn’t Twilight or Luna’s idea.” Replied Fluttershy “It was Pinkie’s.”
Trixie turned her head intrigued “What? Is that true?”
“Yep, Twilight and Luna had nothing to do with this, well, maybe, except the part about postponing the date to make it concur with the anniversary of your first visit.” Replied Pinkie “Anyway, I can’t take all the merit, since the first one who decided to make it a surprise for you was none other than Flutters herself.”
Fluttershy started to blush and tried to cover herself behind her mane “I didn’t do much, really.”
“But, why going through so much trouble for Trixie?” Asked an increasingly skeptical Trixie.
Pinkie giggled in reply “Because we wanted to be your friends, silly.”
That simple answer deeply touched Trixie’s feelings “You…wanted to be…Trixie’s friends?”
“Yup.”
“Even after what Trixie has done to your friends the first time she came to town?”
“Well, at first we really didn’t like how you tried to humiliate them.” Said Fluttershy.
“But then Twilight told us that, maybe, that was your way to make a good impression on us all.” Continued Pinkie “A way to show us what you were capable of.”
“So we both decided to forgive you, because we were sure that, deep inside, you really didn’t want to hurt them.” Kept going Fluttershy.
“Plus, I think what you’ve done to Dashie with that rainbow-tornado was a pretty funny prank.” Concluded Pinkie with a short chuckle.
Trixie couldn’t believe her ears “W-What about Twilight? It’s my fault if she’s now blind and powerless.”
“We would never blame you for that.” Replied Fluttershy in a worried tone.
“Yeah, we would have done the same to save you from those meanie ponies.” Immediately added Pinkie.
Trixie was overwhelmed with both incredulity and happines for the fact that, after all the grudge and suffering she had brought upon those who surrounded her, there was still somepony who wanted to be her friend “T-….Trixie doesn’t really know what to say.”
Both Fluttershy and Pinkie smiled “Then just tell us that you accept our friendship.” Said Fluttershy, as both her and Pinkie held out their hooves toward Trixie.
A couple of tears of joy started to flow on Trixie’s cheeks, as her hoof started to tremble as it was reaching the other two “Yes…Trix-…I will gladly accept your friendship.” She said, as her hoof reached the girls.
And that was the moment when pain started to run through her body.
“G-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!” Screamed Trixie, as she had to curl in a ball, while pressing her chest with both hooves.
“Oh goodness! What’s happening Trixie?” Asked a worried Fluttershy.
“M…..MY CHEST!” Replied Trixie, followed by another scream “It….it BUUUUURNS!”
The two mares tried to calm Trixie down, but the pain was simply unbearable, as she continued to shake and scream in agony.
“W-We need Twilight!” Finally said Pinkie after a while “She will know what’s goin-“
Pinkie didn’t had the time to finish the phrase, as light started to erupt from Trixie’s face and from the scar on her chest, which started to pulsate. Trixie arched her back up in the air, giving one last scream of pain…
… and then it stopped, just as suddenly as it started.
Trixie banged on the floor, heavily panting, as the ache started to fade.
“Oh goodness, are you ok Trixie?” Asked a concerned Fluttershy.
Trixie took a while to answer between a pant and the other “Y-Yes….I….I don’t know what happened.”
She then lowered her head to see what may have caused the pain, but what she saw was totally unexpected “What the…?”
Part of the color of the scar caused by Uma’s strike on her chest had changed, as from a lightly dark brown, the two lowest star-shaped scars were now of a different color: one blue and one green.
In the distance, they heard the sound of something bumping against the wall of the kitchen, followed by Derpy’s voice of concern “Twilight, please, wait a second…”
After a second, Twilight showed in the room, as her face were twisted in pain too “What happened? We heard somepony screaming.”
At the same moment, even Spike came down the stairs “Ugh….I taught the party was over already, why are you still making so much noise?”
“Please Spike, go get a glass of water.” Fluttershy told him “Trixie felt sick. Hurry.”
“Oh…A-Alright Fluttershy.” Replied the dragon, as he immediately leapt towards the kitchen, while Derpy was helping Twilight reaching the other girls “Can somepony please tell me what just happened?”
As Pinkie and Fluttershy started to explain what happened to Trixie, Spike returned with a glass of water, and handed it towards the unicorn.
When Trixie started to levitate it in mid air, though, the glass started to vibrate, and after a second it shattered into pieces.
“Oh come on! That’s the second one you break today!” Scolded her Spike, but Trixie barely heard him.
“I-I didn’t even use half the power I normally apply to levitate it.” Said a shocked Trixie “What the hay is going on with me?”
- - -
CANTERLOT’S CASTLE - LUNA’S CHAMBERS
10:57 P.M.
“Your highness, a letter just arrived from Ponyville.” Said one of the two bat ponies that usually had the task to protect princess Luna, giving a closed envelope to her.
As Luna went through the letter, her gaze turned more and more concerned after every line “Oh no!” She said in a feeble whisper.
The guard istantly noticed her expression “I will immediately inform Princess Celestia.” He proposed, as he started to leap towards Celestia’s chambers.
“NAY, WAIT!” She screamed towards him “I mean…nay, wait. Our sister does not have to know this.”
“But, your highness, Princess Celestia ordered us-“ Started to reply the bat pony.
“Do we need to remind thee that thou are supposed to obey our orders?” Asked Luna with a hint of anger.
“O-Of course not, your highness.” He replied lightly frightened “But if your highness is so concerned about those news, we need to take action right away.”
“We will personally take care of this situation.” Replied Luna “We repeat, our sister must not be warned about this whole thing, is it clear?”
After a brief hesitation, the guard gulped down, hit his chest with the hoof and lowered his head “As you order, your highness.” He said, before leaving the room.
As Luna was left alone, she turned towards the fireplace of her room, used her magic to place the letter inside of it and burnt it up ‘We will deal with this whole mess…We will definitely find a solution.’
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 11
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I guess Luna's concerns (whatever they are) are starting to come to pass. I like how you had Pinkie and Fluttershy become a couple. However, I am more concerned with what is happening with Trixie and why Luna wants to keep it a secret from Celestia.
Good luck with your school work. We can wait for the next chapter (as long as you don't abandon this series.)
I don't know who Coyly is, or why she named her pinkie 'Pinkie', but it's quite rude of her to jump in the middle of the conversation like that for a random piece of narration.
On a side note, the constant use of verb before noun when you tag dialogue irks me, especially when you have something like this:
or
I'm aware of some countries using the verb/noun order over the noun/verb order (possibly due to how their native language's syntax works), but it throws me out of the story every time.
Now that I have that out of my system, I bid you adieu and return to reading this story.
2533040
Thank you for understanding.
As for not abandoning the story, quite frankly, I'm more concerned about being able to finish it before the whole fandom dies.
2533253
Ehm, actually, that "Coyly" is a synonymous of "Shyly" (Unless you were making a....uhm...joke)
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1042_1320430486292690.png
As for writing the verb before the noun, yes, in my country we actually put the verb before the noun when we want to point who said a certain phrase, but since none of the 4 editors I had till now (and all of them from countries where English is the main language) ever corrected me on that, I assumed it was not an error writing in this way in English too.
Anyway, I hope this trifle didn't spoil you the chapter and that you found it entertaining nonetheless.
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Yeah, that first part was a joke... Anyway, about the dialogue tags.
Yes, it is technically correct, but it's considered archaic and only used in parts of the UK still. Some stories are good with it and others aren't, but the important thing is to stay consistent. I didn't mean it's wrong, just that it degrades from my personal enjoyment of the story.
Granted, even though it degraded, it's still enjoyable to read, so don't worry about it. I'll "deal with it" as they say.
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Yeah, kinda had the suspect it was a joke.
Anyway, thanks for your comment. At least I know I'm still doing a
gooddecent job.Okay. It has been over two years. Are you still working on this?
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Sorry for the late reply. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am, indeed, still working on the story.
Although, unfotunately, not at a pace I'd have imagined to end up.
Being on my (soon to begin) 5th year of Medic School, most of my time is consumed by either going to the Hospital to follow my courses and interships and studying, with a very little time to dedicate to writing.
I keep writing bits of the story when I have the opportunity and I keep note of every new idea that come in my mind for future chapters, and I'm close to finish the draft of chapter 11, but another problem may also have arisen, which is having to probably find a new editor/proof-reader (since I kinda lost contacts with TheFallen in these last months and I'm not even sure he's on the site or even in the fandom anymore).
Once again, I apologize for my slowliness. All I can assure you, as I said, is that I'm still working on this.
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I understand, life tends to get in the way.
So...
Is this story dead or forgotten?
8089801 <
Quite frankly? I believe the first is more like it.
Not that I don't find MLP enjoyable anymore (on the contrary, i just finished watching the season 7 premiere), but my IRL commitments just pushed the release of new chapters further and further, to the point I started to ponder if there was still a reason to continue my story at all.
And, I'm sad to say, the longer I thought about what I've written so far and what I had in mind to continue the story, the more silly I've found some of my choices (like having that FlutterPie development in the last two chapters....clearly a bad mix of me being a lot into that ship when I first started to write the story and the fact I couldn't write romance for shit).
I don't know. I wrote down another couple of chapters, but, as I said, the more I think of what I wrote and what I had planned to continue the story, the more I think this little redemption story of mine was stupidly bad thought and executed to begin with.
And I'm especially sorry I disappoined those of you who still kept following the story after these last 4 years of lack of contents.
I might just as well put the 'Cancelled' tag on it and call it a 'not so good' attempt at writing......
8097834 Fair enough. As long as you don't leave us hanging.
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update: they left us hanging