Suffer in Silence
Princess Celestia gritted her teeth and poured every ounce of strength through her horn, into the stream of magic suspended between her and Tirek. She had to win, had to draw that power back, or—
If he’d gotten to Luna first and stolen her magic, he might have prevailed in this fight. He might have won, but Celestia had the upper hoof now. Only because Scorpan had warned her and taught her how to resist. It would not work if he had drained too many ponies, Scorpan had said. Get to him before it was too late, get to him now.
So she had gone hunting. She had found him rather quickly. Just follow the trail of destruction, which led straight for her anyway. He knew where to find the most potent magic. And find her he had.
Celestia tugged on that sinew of magic, part of her soul, dripping sparks of fire and lightning on the stone path of the castle’s gardens. Neither of them could spare the breath to speak, but no words need be said. Slowly but inexorably, the glowing cords drew back into her, away from that gruesome mouth that would devour it and put it to uses that would shame her forever. He would not control that magic.
It was never in question. Whether it had taken a minute or an hour or a day, she did not know, but the resolution came as surely as it must. The final wisp of magic flicked away from him, lashing like the end of a whip, and coiled around her horn. He shrunk back to his desiccated, withered form, bursts of light exploding from him and arcing through the city, over the countryside, across the nation to revitalize the ponies whose magic he had wrenched from them. The last bit of her own faded away, too, as it absorbed back into her.
Whole again. Warm. Steady.
But in that last instant of connection, a minuscule tongue of flame had dashed across that bridge of arcane power. A mere scrap of wild energy, she told herself. Nothing to concern herself with.
Celestia gasped for breath and staggered to her hooves from the mattress on her floor. That little flame! All last night before she’d collapsed in a heap on top of her sheets, all through taking reports from her Royal Guard to ensure everything had returned to normal, all during her talk with Luna, she couldn’t erase its image from her memory. And then it had haunted her dreams! Over and over, no matter what. A summer’s day in a grassy meadow, a battle with dark wraiths in the black of night, or resting in the cradle of her mother’s wings—every dream, with that small blaze sitting in the distance, consuming nothing, but watching, waiting.
She could have easily excused it as an afterimage from her battle, a bright glare lingering in her eye. But when she awoke with it still there…
Quickly, she dashed to the corner of the room to put it out, but it moved with her, eluded her grasp. Always on the edge of her vision—if she turned to face it, it only retreated further, until she closed her eyes and—
Still there. Still there, in the dark, in her head. She held her hooves to her temples and pressed. If only she could squeeze it out! Why did it burn there, never stopping, never leaving her in peace?
And then it spoke.
“Greetings, Princess.”
“Who is there?” Celestia coughed out, her heart missing a beat. But before she had even finished those few words, she had already recognized that feeble, wizened, horrible voice.
“Come now. Surely you know an old friend.”
“You—” She sucked in a breath and clenched her eyes shut tighter. He wanted a rise out of her, and he would not get one. “How are you doing this? I banished you to Tartarus.”
An odious little chuckle came in response. “Oh, you did, you did. No doubt I am languishing away, safely caged. You have no need to worry.”
Celestia opened her eyes and stared at the gray wall, the small fire rippling against the stone. “You did not answer my question.”
“I suppose I didn’t. But then I don’t think I can give you a satisfactory answer, either.”
“Try me.” Could he feel the hairs of her coat pricking up on her withers? He would goad her on for his own amusement as long as she let him. So she steeled herself for a provocative and unhelpful answer.
“I am not actually Tirek. I am you. Part of you, anyway.”
At least he had lived up to her expectations. She let out a heavy sigh. “Now you are toying with me. I will simply convene my council of magical experts and excise your worthless essence from my head.”
“Oh, no. No, you won’t.” She could practically hear his smirk and wringing hands. “You see, there are a few things I can control. Many things I cannot as well, but I can keep you from telling anyone about me. Go ahead and try, if you like. I am patient.”
Celestia waited a minute, but he said no more. And anything she could think of at the moment would only rise to his bait. So she took a deep breath. He was obviously waiting for this, and simply asking the question could not hurt. “What is it that you want?”
“Only the merest thing, Princess.” His voice practically dripped with an oily smile. “You will wonder why I ask such a pittance, but I will admit I don’t have a good bargaining position. As I said, there’s not much I can do to you. Perhaps just being rid of me will be enough for such a low price. And I promise, once you do as I ask, I will leave you alone forever.”
Not that Tirek was known for honoring promises, but when he spelled them out so explicitly, he always had before. “You mean you will die?”
Another chuckle sounded, like dry, grating bones. “Yes, but I told you I am not Tirek. I am not actually alive, so I lose nothing there. Wasting away into nothingness, but my purpose fulfilled. Ah, but you don’t care.”
Celestia drew several more long breaths. Yes, it could not hurt to hear him out. But already, her mind raced, examining every word he had said, searching out any possible loophole. However, she could still listen. “You still have not told me what you want.”
“A trifle, really. Such a small thing.” Tirek lapsed into silence again. But this time, Celestia would not indulge him. She headed for her washroom to prepare for her day, and almost immediately, a scowling grunt echoed in her head. “You will tell your sister that you have never loved her.”
“I will do no such thing!” Celestia blurted out immediately. From the hallway, the scraping sound of shifting armor carried. She held her breath, but the guards did not open the door or inquire. Good. She could not afford to involve them, not yet. “Why do you want this?” she hissed.
“No reason in particular. I just want to see if you will. When you will. A few simple words. That is all. And then I will be gone.” The first time she had encountered him, it had quickly struck her how he always wore a disgusting little grin. The image danced anew in her head.
“And what would stop me from telling her in the next breath that I love her dearly?”
“Thinking through it already, are we? Good. You may say what you wish to her afterward. I will consider the bargain complete as soon as you have uttered those words. But remember—you can never explain why you said them. No matter how much you express your love—” she almost felt him shudder just from speaking the word “—she will always wonder why you refuse to discuss it, attribute it to a misspoken thought, play it off as a poor joke, take it back… The seed planted, and it will grow according to how she tends it.”
Celestia resumed walking toward her washroom. “No.” In a far corner of her mind, a memory flickered. He claimed that he could prevent her from seeking help, but how? Even if he could, enduring his hateful prattle amounted to a trifling sacrifice for lying to her sister in a most distasteful way. Still, hadn’t she heard of a spell like this before? Long, long ago, in Equestria’s infancy, when they hadn’t yet established laws governing proper usage of—
That would mean…
“Ah, but I haven’t mentioned the consequences yet.”
She stopped and clenched her teeth. The last piece of the puzzle. Yes, a type of magic banned for ages. Not that Tirek would comply with any laws.
Why she could never communicate her predicament to anyone and what he could do to her until she met his demands. Except she’d never seen this magic in action. How bad did it get? Did she really want to find out?
“Surely you have heard of a ‘Thorn in the Flesh’ spell.”
Tirek gave her just enough time for a shock of frost to scour her nerves. Yes, she recalled now, from those old tomes of forbidden magic she had helped Star Swirl compile. And lock away.
“I will ask once each day, when you wake up, and if you decline, you will be punished. Since you have already done so for today, let’s get started on that, shall we?”
Celestia glanced down at her foreleg. A little sting there, like she had gotten a paper cut or a splinter. But upon inspecting it, she could find no mark or injury. She let out a heavy breath, her withers unknotting, and her skin practically buzzed. He could do no more than that? Ha! She had needlessly worried. Premonitions of ancient dark magic had cowed her into assuming the worst, but he could barely command the spell’s real power, let alone cobble an effective threat out of it.
Such a minor discomfort to endure for her sister’s sake. If Tirek—or whatever that thing was—had so little control that he could manage no more than that, then so be it. Her sister meant far more.
“Good morning, dear Sister!” Princess Luna said as she sat down at the breakfast table.
Celestia leaned over and squeezed a wing around Luna’s withers. “Good morning, Luna. I love you.” Their daily ritual, and Luna played her usual part. She used to ask why Celestia felt the need to say that every day, but after a few weeks, she had given up trying to figure it out and instead smiled back. Even if it had become routine to her, what a wonderful routine for a little sister, one who deserved it so much.
Yes, a few weeks. She had assumed quite a bit about what Tirek could do on that first day, and all her assumptions had proven wrong. She thought she would wake up with that ineffectual stinging gone, then Tirek would reiterate his demand and renew her pain. Maybe she would feign wincing at it in order to avoid provoking him into worse, if he was even capable. Or maybe she would call his bluff and attempt even harder to inform her staff about what he had done. If he had such paltry abilities, he could not prevent her for long, after all.
But she had awakened with the stinging intact, and when she had rebuffed Tirek again, it got worse.
“Did I see you limping when you went to bed last night?” Luna asked, cocking her head.
“I do not think so. If I did, then I assure you it was unintentional.” Not just a paper cut anymore, but an open wound, throbbing. Celestia had checked the sheets three times already to make sure she had not gotten blood on them. But as usual, her leg bore no sign of injury.
Luna only shrugged. “Good. Did you by any chance see the meteor shower last night?”
“I did,” Celestia replied with a nod. “I apologize that I could not stay up for the entire show, but it was beautifully colorful. Thank you for it.”
With a smile, Luna scooted her chair up closer and levitated her glass of orange juice over. The stars in her mane swirled around, minuscule galaxies forming, disbanding, gathering anew. Supernovae flashed and extinguished; new pinpricks of light formed and coalesced; entire worlds formed, flourished, and passed in mere seconds. She noticed Celestia staring.
“I am sorry. I just find you amazing, and I want you to know I love you.” Celestia gave a brief nod and selected a few slices of cinnamon toast from the tray. Even with no breeze flowing through the open window, her sister’s mane curled and waved, and Celestia’s eyes followed one particular tress on its journey through the heavens.
“So you said,” Luna replied. Still, she grinned. “What has brought this on?”
“Luna, I—” She tried to force the words out. I need your help! Tirek has… somehow invaded my mind, and he wants me to say something horrible, but I will not! I… I have held out, but if I ever fail, and I have to say it, please, please know that I do not mean it! Luna… My dear sister, I—
Her mouth only hung open, disobedient, useless.
“Are you sure you feel well?” Luna asked.
Celestia quickly nodded. She had tried for weeks now to tell somepony, anypony, but she had remained unable to speak even a syllable of it. Tirek had proven true to his word. He could prevent her from explaining through speech, writing… any means, and he could punish her for refusing to comply.
She’d even tried to medicate herself against it, but it left her mind dulled, which only invited a different set of unanswerable questions.
“Good. I am glad you enjoyed the meteors. You are one of the few who pay attention anymore.”
With a scrunch to her nose, Celestia said it again: “I love you, Luna.” Perhaps if she made that message clear, then Luna would understand. Her sister would understand if she… if she had no choice. Once. Just once. But once may well prove to be too much.
Celestia’s right eye felt like it might burst open at any moment. She had steeled herself against it, certain that she remembered it well enough to endure. But it had been too long. No memory can survive in that detail for a millennium.
The insidious laughter had sounded in her head that day, too, the day Luna had… had gone away.
There was no point in punishing her for that which she could not possibly accomplish, so Tirek had magnanimously granted her a thousand-year respite during her sister’s absence.
“You should have told her back then. You were about to banish her anyway. What more could it hurt?”
“No.” She pressed a hoof to her forehead and watched another meteor streak across the sky.
“You should have told her yesterday, then. At least you could claim you’d only said it to Nightmare Moon.”
“That would not make it any more true.” Years. The pain had built up over years, every day a new torture piled on the old. Then a thousand years of blissful comfort. She took a deep breath and savored the memory, but it served only to draw a shudder from her, the cracked ribs on her left flank protesting any slight disturbance. Cracked ribs that no physician could ever detect.
She had sent her student to oversee preparations, and… the possibilities had swirled in her mind for ages. To get her to make friends, to gain the abilities needed to heal her dear sister. And, truth be told, for Celestia to prepare herself for what must happen. Somehow, she’d seen the signs of Luna’s impending fall, even though she never would have suspected the depth of it. Still, she could never satisfy Tirek’s demands, not when it would have stoked the fires in Luna’s heart at precisely the wrong moment. But had Luna ever divined that Celestia harbored such a secret? Had it frayed the cords between them? No way to know, and even were it so, it wouldn’t be the only way in which Celestia had failed her sister.
But the pain. After so long, her memory of its full intensity had faded.
Another tremulous breath, and then hoofsteps sounded behind her. None of her guards would enter her room at this late hour, not without being summoned.
“You should have gone to bed at moonrise. It has been an… eventful day. But I am glad to see you, all the same.”
Celestia turned a broad smile on her sister. She let her mane cover that eye and the streak of tears that the throbbing had squeezed out of it. “And miss the first one of these in ages? Not a chance. Some things haven’t changed,” she said, whipping her head toward the sky again before that smile could rot into a grimace.
Another reddish line traced through the blackness overhead.
“I was saving a brilliant one until the end for you,” Luna said with a soft grin, “but if you must take your repose, I of course understand.”
Luna shouldn’t have to endure this, too. None of it was her fault. None of it. Only a few yards away sat the bed that beckoned to Celestia. A place to ease her sore muscles and seek the only refuge she ever had from the pain: sleep. She could last through one night, though. Not even a whole one—the shower would end by midnight.
“Not at all. I’ll stay up with you.” She wrapped a wing around Luna and leaned against her. For the first time in a millennium, she felt that warm coat next to her, smelled the moonflowers in Luna’s mane. Luna shifted this way and that, guiding the specks of glitter in the sky. Outside the window, a few voices sounded, oohing and aahing at the display. Maybe some of the castle night staff, maybe some citizens in the gardens. But it was wonderful that Luna could hear them. And if Celestia had happened to cast a small amplification spell on them, it wouldn’t hurt.
One other thing Luna needed to hear: “I love you.”
Too engrossed in her task, Luna didn’t respond, but she smiled a little bigger. And sure enough, just before midnight, a huge spark danced over the heavens.
“Thank you,” Celestia said, squeezing Luna’s shoulder.
“Off to bed with you, then,” her sister replied.
And Celestia gratefully followed orders as Luna left to keep watch from her own balcony. Celestia buried her tearing eye in her pillow and gingerly levitated the sheet over her tender ribs.
Celestia breathed in deeply as her magic flooded back into her. She almost vomited.
Even one day separated from it, half her soul torn from her, had left her trembling, struggling just to raise her head off the ground. In fact, like the banged knee that might make one forget about the small bruise on her side, she had completely overlooked the pain that—
Gone. The pain was gone. Did that mean—? “Luna, Tirek has—”
Her sister whirled around at her insistent tone, but it was only the first trickle that preceded the deluge. How? The pain had left her! For the first time in years, she inhaled without her bones feeling like they’d snapped, blinked without wishing she could claw her eye out, didn’t have to check for blood gushing from her leg. And she’d managed to start divulging her secret to Luna with nothing rising to impede her.
Twilight had defeated Tirek and returned everypony’s magic to them! Had that piece of him succumbed as well? But why would it? Celestia had defeated him, too, and it hadn’t stopped him a millennium ago. No, no, that didn’t work. But he had no reason to leave her alone now. What game was he playing?
Still, there Luna stood, waiting for the rest. And for once, she could say it. “Tirek has been harassing me for centuries, from inside my head, to say—I couldn’t, I just couldn’t, not to you, no matter what it cost me, and—”
Celestia’s eyes shot wide open, and Luna gaped at her. “I’m sorry. You always felt like something was wrong, but I couldn’t tell you why, and I know it was part of what made you resent me, back then. I-I will explain it all to you, later, tonight, I promise. But I have to go. I-I have to go.”
It followed the magic. Of course it followed the magic! When the last scrap of it had vacated Celestia’s body, it had no choice but to wash away in the current, but when the alicorns’ magic was restored, some would have… would have stayed behind!
She stumbled out of the throne room on trembling legs with her sister staring after her.
Celestia knocked on the door for the third time, but still she got no answer. “I’m coming in,” she said. She tried the knob, but the door was locked.
So Celestia teleported through it. An invasion of privacy she wouldn’t have condoned under all but the most severe of circumstances. This certainly qualified.
There on the bed lay her precious student, Twilight Sparkle, drenched in sweat and shaking. Her jaw clenched, Twilight stared at the wall. She didn’t bat an eye or twitch an ear. Celestia ran a hoof across her cheek. Poor Twilight. If Celestia had found a way to deal with this earlier, then her student wouldn’t have had to suffer needlessly. Her failure, and now Twilight had to bear it.
“I’m sorry,” Celestia whispered, and only then did Twilight roll an eye toward her. And Twilight jerked back as if from an electric shock. Was she delirious? Celestia reached for her, pulled her into a hug, but Twilight screamed, wriggled free, and huddled in the corner of her bed, brushing something off her hooves.
Celestia climbed onto the mattress beside her. She held up her hooves. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “Does it hurt when I touch you?”
Tears flowing from her eyes, Twilight could only stare back, her lip quivering. And Celestia couldn’t hold back anymore. She wiped tears from her own eyes, but each brush of her hoof only found more. It wouldn’t stop. It wouldn’t stop!
“I apologize. It should have been my pain. It always was, and you did nothing to deserve this. I didn’t deserve it either, but it is my fault you had to, and I can never make it up to you.” She sniffled hard, her voice pinched through her constricted throat. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I could say it for years, but it would never be enough.”
“Twilight!” Spike shouted from the hallway. “Did you scream? Are you okay?”
Celestia held her sob back until her neck ached. “Please, Spike. Just wait a moment. Everything will be okay. I give you my word.”
“P-Princess Celestia?” The soft sound of his hand brushing down the door’s wooden surface echoed in the dark.
“Yes. Just a moment, please, I promise.” When he didn’t immediately respond, she turned back to Twilight and hissed in her ear. “I know, Twilight. I know all about it. You… you can’t tell, but I can, and—”
She reached a hoof out again, but Twilight shook her head and recoiled. The pain. The pain had to stop first, and then… then Celestia could ask for forgiveness later. She could beg, but the pain… Quickly. Quickly, now. “It followed my magic to you, but it didn’t come back. It should have. I can’t bear to see you suffer what should be mine,” Celestia erupted, the words spilling from her lips and pattering on the pillow with her tears. “I’m free. I can tell. I can explain it all. But you have to stop it, now. Tell him. Tell him, and I’ll explain.”
Only an anguished wail sounded, and Twilight pulled at her mane.
“Twilight!” Spike pounded a fist on the door.
“I can tell him. Stop wasting time! End it now!” Celestia leaned in closer.
“H-how do I know?” Twilight finally said. “You’re lying!”
“No,” Celestia said, burying her face in her hooves. “No. I couldn’t even say this much about it if he still controlled me. He wouldn’t allow it.”
But Twilight kept shaking her head. “No. You won’t do what you said. It’s a trick.”
“Please! Trust me!” Celestia gritted her teeth. She loved Twilight. She loved her so, so much, and if she couldn’t convince her dear student… She’d… she’d force the issue. Yes, yes. “I’ll take it back, please! There’s no time, I-I’ll take your magic! Yes, I’ll rip it from you if I have to, then you can tell Luna for me, we’ll both be free, I’ll return it to you, and—”
But Twilight pointed at the door. She’d gone deathly pale, and she swallowed hard, but she jabbed that hoof at the door over and over.
Of course. Level-headed Twilight. Dear logical, rational Twilight. Leave it to her to figure out the quickest way. Celestia could prove herself and stop all this in one move. Of course it would be Spike. The spell had wanted Celestia to hurt someone she loved dearly, someone for whom she felt responsible. It would do the same to Twilight. Celestia turned to face the door again.
“Spike?”
“Y-yes?” The pounding ceased.
“Listen to me. Carefully. Hear every word. Do not doubt a single one of them. You must trust me on this. Do you understand?”
A little sniffle and hiccup, and then: “Y-yes. I-I understand.”
She spoke slowly and loudly. He had to listen and obey without faltering. “Spike. You are absolutely not to believe the next thing Twilight says to you. I will explain afterward, but we don’t have time right now. She is being compelled to say it, and it in no way should ever be taken as coming from her. She loves you very much, and she would never utter such a thing if it weren’t completely necessary. But you will not believe the first sentence she speaks! Do I make myself clear?”
Silence. Only Twilight’s labored breathing echoed in the crystal room.
“Yes, Princess,” he finally said. His voice sounded unnaturally low.
“Can you be brave for her?”
“Yes,” he answered, still in that oddly low tone, but with no delay this time.
“Very well.” Celestia lit her horn and unlocked the door. As soon as it clicked, he pushed it open, and harsh torchlight streamed in. He gasped at Twilight, all sweat-soaked, ashen, and cowering against the bedpost. But he trotted over, cast his glistening eyes up toward Celestia, and stuck his chest out. So Celestia turned to Twilight and nodded.
Twilight gulped and took a deep breath, fresh tears coursing down her face. “Spike…”
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Very nice work!
It look over 1000 years of suffering, but she now has a way to end the curse without hurting anyone outside of a short time Twilight is hurting.
I very much enjoyed this.
One question, though: is there actually a reason for Tirek doing this, or is it all merely for the purpose of making Celestia and Luna suffer?
Good story!
Up until the timeskip, I was firmly convinced that Celestia would succumb for a moment, and it would turn out that's what first started Luna down the path to Nightmare... and maybe that's the answer to 7352042's question, what Tirek was hoping to do? But she stayed strong, and Twilight did too.
Couldn't Celestia or Twilight simply have said, "Never let it be said that I have never loved you."?
Wow... That... Jeebus. That's pretty heart-wrenching. Well done!
You don't deserve half the views or likes you have.
Why do you constantly have one sentence that communicates one idea, only to have the second sentence basically echo it? You feel so inclined to detail your story, that it ends up just being more work to read.
Inappropriate paragraph breaks were numerous. Your story was interesting in some parts, but then you broke the flow of it by having several amateur, unimportant sentences mixed in with your beautiful details. It's as if you can't keep hold of the story for more than a few sentences, like you had to let it go to waste.
7352072
Interesting theory. But from the way the curse was places it may have been meant for the words to be said as a lone sentence.
7352100
"Spike, what would you do if I said something bizarre or unusual - something completely out of character?"
"Like what, Twilight?"
"I have never loved you, Spike."
"Gee, Twilight... That's harsh. Doesn't sound like you at all. Everything OK?"
"It is now, Spike. It is now. And for the record, I love you more than I can say."
And then the spell forces Twilight to say "I love you.". Because it appears to be somewhat sentient.
Thank you so much for writing this. It was just beautiful
7352082
Really not seeing it, I gotta say. Perhaps you just have too short an attention span.
What a painfully beautiful piece of writing. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, wondering and waiting if yes or if no. This honestly does seem like a dastardly deed only Tirek would do. And that last line tugs at the heartstrings perfectly.
Loved the story.
7352082
I have read countless stories and I fail to see how having separated single lines, which is a fairly common practice, is really that big a deal, particularly not in a story specifically underlining speech.
Also the way in which he reiterates the lines, appears to only happen with characters speaking insofar as I read back to check.
Which is mostly unnoticeable, also fairly irrelevant.
BTW people are obviously rating this story for the story not the writing.
Don't you just hate when people use compulsion magic on you. Compulsions are just the worst.
7352147 You can find loopholes even better than I can. We could start a business.
7352082 You're not going to get very far telling people what they are and aren't allowed to like. That's the worst kind of critic.
It's also not very helpful to assert something without backing it up. Where are places you feel like there's redundant information? And I don't mean things that caused you to dislike it. I mean things that you can put together a reasoned argument that they're objectively wrong. If you're finding things over-explained, all I can say is that this comes from the experience of doing lots and lots of these write-off events where I've found a happy medium between spelling everything out and writing something nobody understands. If that makes it too unsophisticated for you, then so be it. A few months back, someone (Bad Horse, I think, but I'll link it if I can find it again) wrote a good blog post about the tradeoffs involved in subtlety. Given that this story comes straight out of one of those write-offs (and was voted highly by people I respect as good judges of writing, like horizon, bookplayer, and AugieDog), it directly addresses things that those readers didn't understand, and they're people I've found worth listening to. Again, if that makes it too lowbrow for you, then I'll live with it.
Likewise with the paragraph divisions. What is it that you found inappropriate? What argument can you make that it's objectively wrong? Cold in Gardez posted the first in a series of blogs on paragraph structuring a few months ago (which I helped with), and I don't see any violations of the principles he laid out there. In fact, the conclusion he came to is that this is going to be a very subjective thing to evaluate, and I agree. The several very gifted reviewers I've had look over this (including the aforementioned write-off participants) didn't make any complaints on that front (or the first one either), so it's going to take more than a generalized assertion to make me believe you over them. And it really is presumptive to say that other people are wrong for liking something.
I've read your blog post, by the way. You're not even trying to be helpful. The whole thing just speaks to an intention to dole out insults, which isn't any sort of criticism. I'm guessing this is an alt of someone who has a bone to pick with me, especially given that your famous works don't turn up in a Google search.
7352042
7352052
Tirek wouldn't have been able to predict Nightmare Moon, but anything to drive a wedge between them would have satisfied him. He didn't go into it with a plan, though; he took his last scrap of magic and lashed out at Celestia just to do something to her as a last-ditch effort.
7352072
She could have tried, but Tirek never would have accepted that as fulfilling her side of the bargain.
7352082
You've earned more dislike in two hours than I get for having unpopular opinions or attacking assholes on this site in two or three weeks.
Hats off. Also your opinion is shit and so are you.
7352369
So it was an intention-based curse. You couldn't use clever wordplay to get out of it, it's something that had to be said flat, in a way that would cause strife, or actually meant.
Somebody needs to go wreck Tirek :C
Interesting concept and well written to boot, but I felt Celestia came off as kind of hypocritical in this... By her logic, her thousand-year-old sister should never have to hear those words under any condition but it should be fine for the dragon child as long as she explains it.
I get it, she could muscle through the curse but can't bear to watch someone she loves suffer so she decides to place some above others.
7352369 Well done emotional piece. The pacing was well done and the feel was just right for this.
Upvoted and yes you do deserve them all.
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I suspect that "PakolaZechnost" would have slammed McCarthy for taking too many words to describe pointless things, Fitzgerald for having unrealistic characters, and Borges for not knowing the difference between fantasy and reality.
Remarkably well written! The cliffhanger was especially well-executed.
It makes sense in retrospect just how cruel and vengeful Tirek was from the beginning. Here is a centaur so wrapped up in his own selfish greed, that his remaining effort is spent doing anything and everything he can to hurt someone, anyone, in the worst way possible!
Here is Celestia at her best, giving all she has to protect her beloved sister the only way she knows how. I understand her reasoning for having Twilight say the words to Spike, when she could prepare him beforehand. It would be infinitely harder to ask Luna forgiveness after suddenly negating all of her "I love you"s for so long, than it would be to explain it to Spike before the damage could sink so deeply.
I, too, thought this would end up being Nightmare Moon's catalyst, but the way it turned out felt much more natural, much less forced, and had a much greater impact on the reader. Very nice.
Keep it up, my good man!
Also:
Just figured out you wrote Let a Smile be Your Umbrella. That's one of the best fics I've read, like, ever! You're amazing! 
7352082
I'm not sure how that information can help. If you criticize paragraph breaks and sentences but fail to give examples of which breaks and sentences you didn't like (and why), there isn't any meat to help the author improve the story.
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Thw way I read it I feel like its 2 things, first, the explanation side; the way things worked out he was the target for Twilight but since Cele knew what was going on she could explain the situation and it despite it being said with intent to harm, he knows then why it was said and that its not meant, wheras before by herself and the curse, there was no way to forewarn Luna and Tirek's point was you can say anything after ward but its useless by then. I bet if somehow Twilight could understand the situation but Celestia had kept the curse Twilight would have explained to Luna and let her take the hit knowing its all a lie and would gladly ignore it, especially knowing Cele had been defying it and telling her she loved her for centuries deapite the agony.
Secondly, I'd say Spike could well be the most emotionally stable character in the series. He's a rock that keeps the intense personalities of the mane 6 grounded. I mean Twilight is a neurotic mess and he's been by her side for years. I think he's wise beyond his years enough to understand the severity of the issue and Celestia knows he can take it and has enough love for Twilight back to take a harsh word when be knows its not true to save her. And if my mother/aunt/god-queen tells me to ignore someone, I'd ignore them!
7352082 You are not a critique, you are not helping, your feedback is cruel and unnecessary, and you do not need to be in this community if you are going to say things about us such as, "Who knows, one of these men might stop playing with their horse plushies for one second and try to become a better writer." This is fanfiction my friend, they are not masterfully written novels that wins awards. Take your toxic criticism to a site that actually wants it.
wow...I really enjoyed that, and...i'm not sure why?
I am confused, yet, pleased greatly. The ending was interesting. it leaves the reader to wonder what twilight was forced to say. I really liked it!
Well executed. I find I have very little to say otherwise. Faved and liked.
On a completely unrelated note, I notice your stories get featured on EQD incredibly swiftly. Do you wait for the EQD feature before pressing the submit button?
That end was chilling
all right i dont usually comment but this was really good and deserves a fav
Celly didnt waste time prancing around when it was gone, she knew there was more to it.
Good read.
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Damn. That's...insidious, and paints Tirek as both a powerhouse and a malicious manipulator. Still, while it seems to end on a good note, I can't help but imagine that Tirek had tricked both of them-that Twilight's first words to Spike would be, "I love you, and I always will." Now, if this was just it by itself it wouldn't work, but right before Celestia told him not to believe a thing Twilight said? That would hit hard.
I know the scenario is illogical-Twilight could have said it immediately and been done with Tirek's remnant or whatever it is, but the thought of Tirek manipulating them into saying something horrible remains.
7352476 Well, it's a little different than that. She couldn't ever tell Luna, because she'd have no way of explaining it. Now, she can have Twilight tell Spike, since Celestia can now explain the situation. Spike will know why Twilight said it. Luna never would have. But... look at what Celestia says when Twilight doesn't trust her at first. Celestia is about to tear away Twilight's magic to take the curse back with it, because she knows that Twilight would be able to explain it. Celestia was about to go say it to Luna.
7352732 Twilight was in the same situation as Celestia. Tirek wanted her to tell Spike she never loved him, but because Celestia is free of the curse she could go ahead and tell Spike not to believe her, that she was being forced to say it.
7352742 Yes, I got the approval email late yesterday, so I figured it would go up sometime today, and posts normally go live right on an hour. So I just checked EqD each hour and published it as soon as I saw it show up. If it still hadn't by the time I went to bed I would have had to just go ahead and publish it. I definitely don't publish anything until it's been accepted, since I want to use any feedback and get edits out of the way before anyone sees it.
7352082
Someone's mad that they're not getting what they feel that they deserve.
um, Pascoite? this story is a perfect metaphor for how i feel every day. how i feel right now. and i don't understand how you knew exactly what i needed to read. but i think i understand what you are saying:
"share your pain, because it is everyone's, and if you do that, they will bring you love instead of fear". is this right, Pascoite the genius pony-writer, who i have always admired and loved? will you tell me it's right so i can take all my awful feelings and spin them into something beautiful, like you have done here?
7353080 That was an undercurrent of it, but jeez, you shouldn't be calling me a genius writer. You're the far more successful one, and I don't mean successful as a euphemism for "popular." I mean actual achievement.
I'm glad I was able to touch you with something. You've always been a demanding judge, but one who pushes people to be better. Hope all is going well with you, and I'm glad to see you hanging around again. The Skype room's still there, but with quite a few old people gone and new people in.
Twilight: "Spike..."
Spike: "Yes, Twilight?"
Twilight: "I never loved Princess Luna."
Spike: "Ummm... OK?"
Spirit of Tirek: "DOH!!!"
7353108 Ha! I like this.
7353052 That's clever. It'd never work for me though because my punctuation and syntax alone won't get past EQD quality control, let alone the actual content.
You've got a lot of confidence doing it your way. 
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... ... Of course a truly evil soul would force the next words out of her mouth to be "Spike, I love you."
7353123 If EqD said "thanks, but it's not quite there," you could go ahead and publish it or leave it unpublished for a round of revisions. I've had to do that before. Not a big deal either way. And I know for a fact you've gotten a story accepted, so you're plenty capable. I also remember "If I Were a Pony" being more an issue of fixing up the editing and telliness, so the tougher things to get right, like plot and characterization, were fine. It shouldn't be too hard to get that one in good shape.
7353097
what is an achievement, Pascoite? i write porn for money, and lately i can neither write nor get people to give me money. i stand atop a tower of filth, and you have beauty after beauty in your catalog. a genius is someone who a genius views to be a genius--you can debate semantics w/ me if you want, but we know who will win.
the point is... i don't know, Pascoite. you know everything. i'm not that bright.
7353165 I also know about all the regular stuff you write and what high standards you hold for yourself, even with the clop. That's what I mean by achievement. You have written things of genuine literary merit. and whether people don't see that or overlook it for what draws the most readers, it's their loss. Cold comfort at times, I know, but you have the respect of people who know good writing.
7353201 cold comfort indeed, my friend. for what is respect to a man lying on the street corner? what does the hobo say when you tell him he is a blessed soul, kinder and wiser than a saint?
i don't mean to guilt trip, Pascoite. it's just hard lately. and you inspire me. so thank you.
Ohh chilling. Way to build up the anxiety!
I love how you make TwilightnSpike and LunanCelestia's relationship so powerful. NEarly brought a tear to my eye
7353221 I wish I knew more of what you needed, but at least remember that you still have friends in the same old places, and we'll do what we can for you.
7353052 ah, well even then, it's a very nice story. good job ^^ and I hope to see more stories from you in the future!