The Pinkie Pie Virus
"Why is my computer running so slow?" you think to yourself as you work on your program for your computer science class.
It's taking forever just to run a simple while loop. It's taking almost a fifteen seconds to compile, and another fifteen seconds to actually run (assuming it compiles).
You can't work like this, especially since your program is due at midnight tonight.
You start to ponder what could be going on. Your computer isn't old by any means. It's a gaming machine, with some damn good components. It didn't use to run this slow.
You realize you haven't run a virus scan on your computer in a while, so you decide to see if anything is lurking in your system folders. You don't recall downloading anything suspicious, but better safe than sorry.
You minimize your program, and run your antivirus software. You click "full scan" in order to get a thorough analysis. It would take longer, but you're willing to sacrifice this work-time for faster speeds later tonight.
After about a minute, some cookies show up in the window, which is nothing serious. It doesn't worry you. But then, something else appears. A detected virus pops up, turning the window red. Immediately, you examine it:
PinkiePie.dxz
C:\Users\MyStuff\Downloads\
".dxz"? You don't recognize this file type. You minimize everything to search this file type, but you notice something strange on your desktop.
In the dead space of the background, you notice cracks. At first, you think it's your monitor cracking. You feel around the monitor screen to feel for cracks... but there's nothing. It's completely smooth. But even so, as you touch the screen around the fissure, it grows larger, as if you just broke it more with your fingers.
Is your computer haunted?
When you take your hand away from the screen, the cracks continue to get bigger. Even weirder, you hear faint cackling coming through the speakers.
You're seriously spooked at this point, and are about to stop your virus scan and shut your computer down, until the virtual fracture in your desktop background gives out, shattering into pieces. It even came complete with a glass-shattering soundbyte.
Did you install an angry spirit on your computer recently?
You're about to pull the plug on your computer (which is not wise to do), until you notice something on the other side of the opening. It looks... pink?
Suddenly, making you nearly jump out of your skin, a head pokes out of the hole.
You can't believe what you're seeing. It was...
"Pinkie Pie?!" you say.
"Huh? Is somepony there?" Pinkie said. She looks directly at you, and smiles as if she can see you. "Oh! Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie!"
You go completely bug-eyed. "Wait, can you see and hear me?"
Pinkie nodded as she jumped through the hole in the desktop, landing on your taskbar.
"Yes indeedy!" Pinkie said. "Loud and clear!"
Is this the PinkiePie.dxz virus? Is this was that is?
"Um... hi then," you say, trying to process what's happening. "C-Can you hold on for one second?"
"Of course!" Pinkie said, humming to herself, pacing around the taskbar.
You take a deep breath as you open a browser window on your phone to search the ".dxz" file extension.
"Where am I?" Pinkie asked.
"Well, apparently, you're on my desktop," you say.
"Really? This doesn't look like a desk," she said.
"Um, no offense, but how the heck did you get in here?" you ask, waiting for your phone to come up with search results.
"I just came in through the back door," Pinkie said, pacing around the taskbar.
"Back door?" you say. "What back door? There is no back door?"
"Sure there is!" Pinkie said with a smile.
Search results for ".dxz file" come up, and you find a list of malicious file types. You find ".dxz", and it said:
file extension dxz | Trojan backdoor virus file
Oh... there's the backdoor...
Well, maybe this isn't that bad. You are a brony after all, and this is an opportunity to actually interact with one of the ponies. Maybe this virus could be fun.
You look up at your computer screen to see that Pinkie Pie is gone. You wonder for a moment if she just left through the same "back door" she came through, but you're disproven by the sound of cackling from your speakers.
Where the hell did she go?
You see your Recycle Bin shaking onscreen, like it's possessed. Or... like someone is playing in it. Or maybe... somepony...
You immediately double-click the Recycle Bin, and see her playing in the files.
"Hey! Get out of there!" you say.
She doesn't seem to listen, continuing to play in the files like a she's in a ball-pit. She looks around her, and her eyes land on the cursor.
"Ooh!" she says before leaping from the file-pit and lunging towards the cursor, grabbing onto it.
"What the..." you say as you watch her hang from the cursor. You move to the "X" on the Recycle Bin window.
"WHOA!" Pinkie yells, being dragged by the cursor, almost throwing her against the side of the screen.
"Oh, sorry about that," you say, placing her down gently on the taskbar. You close the window, and see that Pinkie is jumping for the cursor again, like a cat with a laser pointer. You try your best to keep it away from her, out of fear of hurting her.
You look down, and see that she's stopped going for the cursor. Instead, you watch as she jumps into the Windows Explorer icon. Immediately, you open it up, and see her walking around the window. With super-Pinkie speed, she jumps into your pictures folder. You chase after her, and see her sifting through your MLP pictures.
"Ooh! We have the same friends!" Pinkie said. Suddenly, a devious look came over her face as she pulled out a black marker, and began drawing mustaches on all your pictures.
"Hey!" you say, but she just ignores you and continues her fun. You close the window, causing her to fall on the taskbar. She landed with such a hard thud that all the icons on your desktop fall to the ground, some of them even shattering into pieces, complete with sound effects.
What kind of voodoo was this?! You feel out of breath just keeping up with his mare, and you haven't moved out of your damn seat!
Pinkie's eyes fall on your school program, and she opens it up.
"Whoa! What's this?" she asked.
do
{Pony p = new Pony(PonyName);
} while(yes);
You try desperately to close the program to prevent Pinkie from corrupting the file, but your cursor refuses to move. You look down at your mouse, and see a red light on the top, indicating a dead battery. You try hitting Alt+F4, only to see a red light on your keyboard as well, indicating another dead battery.
You're about ready to throw your computer out the window.
"Why does it say 'PonyName'? Why not use an actual pony name?" Pinkie asked. Suddenly, she gasped. "Hold on... I'm about to be brilliant!"
Huh? What is she talking about?
To your shock, she begins rewriting your code.
do
{Pony p = new Pony(PinkiePie);
} while(yes);
"That's better!" Pinkie said. As you frantically search for replacement batteries, you catch Pinkie heading for the Run Program button.
Oh no...
"Wait! Stop!" you yell.
Too late. With one click, the code compiled, and ran. In your speakers, you hear cackling. It gets progressively louder and louder before an army of Pinkie Pie's burst through the hole in your desktop.
You start to panic as the framerate starts to visibly plummet, jumping frame by frame before-
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Oh my god, this was hilarious!
Man that was funny. You should give yourself more credit! If you thought this up in an hour and just wrote it out, that is really amazing! Good job!
I'm okay with this
If only he had time to change that to pony p = new pony (twilight). Then maybe this could of been solved :(
Also, why do I have a feeling that a littlepip version of this would be hilarious
No, this was perfect! I can just imagine a tiny little Pinkie crawling around my computer screen. So adorable! I'm really glad you wrote this; it was a nice change from your other stories.
I hope you feel better. You can always PM me if you need to talk
Well, somehow this was indeed cringeworthy for me.
Oh dear... Seriously though, give yourself some credit. This was a riot!
Saw this in popular...er... thingy?
Picturing the antivirus will try to place her in a hamster wheel, place a toy for her to play with, or unlimited chocolate rains. Oh screw it you can't kill the bloody thing or it may turn into a pinkamenia virus which will be worse. Imagine what monster it will be going through the world wide and being ultron about it.
Not bad, it make me think of the video "Animator vs animation"
7250227 Thanks
7250362 I got some ideas from those shorts.
Congrats on the popular listing!
For some reason I got vibes from this episode:
Great story.
School program code equals mirror pool confirmed?!?!
w8... school program code has 17 letters, and mirror pool has 10. Add those two, and you get 20. 20 is the same amount of dollars that 1 legal tender 20 dollar bill is worth! 20 + 1 = 21! You know what else = 21? 9 + 10. 9 + 10 = 21 according to the kid from the 21 vine, who was proven to be a genius by the Incorrect Corps. But what is 9 + 10 + 20 + 1? 42! The answer to life and everyhing is 42! This story has about 1440 words. 42 + 1440 = 1482. 1482/42 = 35.2857143. 35.2857143 squared equals 1245.08163! Rounding that together, we get 1245. 1440 + 1245 = 2685. This story was written in about one hour, according to yourself. An hour has 60 minutes. Each minute has 60 seconds. Therefore, each hour has 3600 seconds (60x60). 2685 + 3600 = 6285. 6285 minus 17 (number of letters in school program code) equals 6268. 6 plus 2 + 6 + 8 = 22. 2 + 2 = 4. 4 has 1 syllable. 4 - 1 = 3. The Illuminati has 3 sides...
SCHOOL PROGRAMMING CODES = ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!!!!!!!
...I'm sorry...
Nice word count
Chapter has 1,403 words but the total word count is still showing 0
Fix it perhaps?
7250659 um, I don't know how
7250681 .........
*Tactical facepalm in 3... 2... 1...*
Ask someone who knows? I dunno
I can only imagine if I were in that situation. It would be weird but fun at the same time. Very nice work my friend! This was actually really fun to read. If only I knew how to animate, I would've done an animation based on it. But overall, this was pretty neat
Keep up the good work my friend 
It is funny that I once made a fic like this although was way back so the grammar as a bit shotty Well it not exactly like this bluest concept wise nothig new I suppose.
I had a point in there somewhere
7250364 Same goes for me Nordryd.
7251159 Written in one hour, my friend. I guess it shows, huh?
7251632 Thanks
7251856 No problem. If you ever want to talk, just let me know.
I'm not usually one for second person POV stories, but this was very amusing
Fimfic:This story has absolutely no words at all.
Me:
Is that C#?
7527716 Java
7527740
Drat. I confused the syntax.
This is really cool! And you did this in an hour? You, sir, are amazing. Four mustaches for you, sir.
Why does this sound like myself in the future? Of course, I'd probably be the one to write the code for the virus, with my love for computers. Can't say I know Java, but I know a little JavaScript, so I actually understand this.
First I must say... INTERNET EXPLORER? Who uses internet explorer, outside of downloading a real browser.
Next the thing I reeeaaally wanted to say. If pinkie annoyed me I'm probably ask her if she wanted to hear a story about herself. And promptly search for Cupcakes.
Heehee... Sorry...
This reminds me of the fake “Return of Bonzi” virus from Vinesauce Joel’s “Windows Vista Destruction” video.
Also gave me vibes of this:
Best virus ever
Alright, so this may or may not be an infinite loop, depending on whether var. "yes" is "true" or "false". At the very least it'll be executed one time. Which should be good...
Judging by multiple Pinkies, however... I suspect, it was an infinite loop... However that must mean, the Pony class maintains an internal collection of previously created ponies, because otherwise references to those would be lost, as the only variable that stores them is rewritten every iteration.
Even then, though... The "PonyName" variable never changes! So Pinkie could have just assigned it the string "Pinkie Pie" (by the way, I can't believe her version of code compiled
... Var. "PinkiePie" was most likely undefined).
Unless "PonyName" is a macro that expands to some method call retrieving a random (or just some different) value every time...
Also, Pinkie clones and stuff -- but the computer should not have bluescreened. At most it should have reported an out-of-memory exception, and then killed the programme, terminating every single Pinkie
(unless every Pinkie was serialised to the disk...). But, maybe, it was code for a driver...
Also I recall my writing a code snippet that had the line:
Random pony = new Random();
Yes, it was actual code I'd written! But, even if someone had seen it, they'd not have gotten my reference... But following that was a comment:
//I should have written: "PinkiePie", but there is no PinkiePie class defined.
Fortunately, that snippet stayed in my workbook
.
7250362
!
Yes, me too
You: beware of the ponk virus
Me: gimme that file
7250597
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