This story is a sequel to Sour Sweet Dreams
Since your first date with Sour Sweet, she has been cursing her dad, claiming that he has been completely ignoring her ever since she was diagnosed with her condition. All of that time, you had pretty much written this belief off as one of her delusions. However, after dinner one night, Mr. Sweet suddenly declares that you and he need to talk. What he has to say shocks and enrages you. Even worse, Sour Sweet overhears every bit of it.
Cover art by Kul
(My fourth featured story! - 5/23 and 5/24/16)
Chapters (2)
Ohh jeez. This is way too heavy for 2 in the morning. 3real5me. Good job on another collection of words made to entertain or provoke thought and introspection.
These stories are still great even if this one did get a little to real for me to be reading at 3:30 in the morning. Good work sir!
So much emotion, I love it!
I have nothing bad to say about this, still just as good as the rest!
Can't wait to see what they get up to next
"I owe him [Kul] a story request for the many masterpieces produced for my Sour Sweet series" -- shit man, that's a lot of power to have! Don't let it hit you in the head, and don't screw it up for us!
*Whispers into the ear* more Sunny Flare
I remember when Sour Sweet was just the exceptionally bitchy girl that was mean to Twilight. That was so long ago. Now I can't separate the name and face from the one that grips my heart every time I read one of your stories...and I think that's a good thing. Holy crap, I knew this latest story was gonna f*** me up at 1am, and I read it anyway, and I'm glad I did. What are you doing to me, you monster?
I was so expecting him to turn around and deck mr sweet before saying his piece and chase after sour
Here's the major problem with the dark -- it seems incompatible with the spirit of MLP, which is optimistic and silly. If you get too bogged down in the dark, it no longer feels like MLP, and that's where personally I check out. But on a very rare occasion, somehow, the author makes it work. I have no clue how, but those stories are the best. And I think you just pulled it off, my friend. Now I'm gonna go and spend the rest of the night analyzing it. And death, of course. Gotta think about death in the middle of the night.
Now, what we need is an alternate scenario fic/chapter where they didnt make it, aka Sour's became too lost to listen to Second Person's words. Sour take him down and overpowers him, drowning him in the waistdeep seawater. She finally snaps out of it, but realized what she had done. Sorrowful, she carries him bridal style into the deep dark ocean
Words have power. I'm wondering if the words that had power in this case were 'Divorce' and 'Half of your assets plus whatever I need to care for Sour'.
It... Might be a good idea to sign Sour off sick from school for a few days. I wouldn't want her in that emotionally and spiritually toxic dump, let alone close to Cinch right now.
When I was reading, I shouted: "Sour Sweet!", my mom asked me if I was okay, and I said:"Sure,mom..."
But anyways I really liked that story.
poor Sour Sweet...
Can't wait for the next story!
that was awesome
can't what for next one P.S. u inspired me to write a fic where Bitter Honey does exsit
What if this was your delusion all along and not sour's?
Makes you rethink about the whole series , eh?
It really fucks me up how much Sour Sweet reminds me of myself in this series.
Well. This story got me genuinely infuriated at a fictional character. Excellent work.
It's kind of amazing how people can have a line of thought like this. I'd say 'bullshit people ain't like that' but having witnessed it firsthand it's honestly baffling, especially when they act like it's the right thing to do.
Don't lie. You're just being a selfish coward. If that's your choice, then whatever, but don't act like some damn martyr for it.
Welp that escalated quickly.
Also does this count as a relapse for sour sweet? If not then what does?
No offense, sensitive topic and all, but this was so clichéd teenage angst, I may be farting Hot Topic accessories for a week. Holy shit this took me back.
Woah......I wonder what second persons family is thinking right now.
Wow, I'm seriously amazed at all of this especially how you've expanded on Sour Sweet's character and made her more then just how she was in the movie.
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My heart is pounding, and it's not even the climax yet.
Heavy stuff, meng,
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... I think I need an approval picture that doesn't include me grinning like an idiot for more serious stories like this one,
It feels like the atmosphere of the story lightened up a little too quickly at the end. I would have liked it if Mr. Sweet had been kicked out of his house for a few days and then met with Doctor Chrysalis to hear what she really wanted to talk to him about, with an added dose of a Hannibal Lecture trope worthy tongue-lashing that only a psychiatrist can dish out, before he realized what an asshole he is. Even that would have turned out better for him than if he had sprung his idea to have Sour Sweet committed right after she graduated-he might not have survived the fallout.
Other than that, this was one of your best stories yet in terms of drama. You really drove home the fact that Sour and "You" still have a lot to overcome, both internally and externally, before they can truly earn their happy ending, especially since, as you've repeatedly pointed out, schizophrenia never actually "ends".
I really, really, REALLY wanted the bastard to hear what Sour Sweet tried to do.
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I've never said that she couldn't exist. You never know what lies in the future
By all means, I'd love to read it! Just remember to slap on a "Inspired by the Sour Sweet stories of Nico-Stone Rupan" notice so my ego can be stroked
Oh my God! I love this series!!!
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fine i guess thats fair
Now that I'm finished I just have to pick up the shattered remains of my feels
Awesome job as usual man keep up the awesome work and keep bringing the feels
I like your stories dude
7240104 i really like ur stories dude, excellent horror
your character has spectacular self control, honestly i'm not a violent person but after a speech like that.... i'd have sent him to the IC ward.
Holy crap this was heavy. I actually felt terror grip at my heart when I read that Sour Sweet was trying to commit suicide. That was really intense.
Awesome job with this story and it's predecessors!
~ Super-Brony12
Eh, I honestly don't care for the way Sour Sweet's dialogue is formatted. It seems like a lazy way to avoid writing narration. Speaking of which, I think your writing would benefit from an increase in the amount of narration, because right now it feels wildly unbalanced towards the dialogue. There are long passages where the characters aren't actually doing anything because it's nothing but dialogue. That kind of thing tends to hurt the immersion because everything except the words fade away.
It speaks volumes when a several months ago boyfriend is more of a man for your daughter than you, her own father, Mr. Sour.
The feels are strong with this one...
I love this series, and I can't wait to see what you come with next!
Goddamn, this is easily the most intense story of the series. Well done.
Aww, I wanted to see Mr. Sweet suffer. Anyways, I'm glad Sour Sweet is alright.
Still think you like Shadowbolt adventures, cause this went dark 0_o
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The dialogue along with the overall idea of the story are what's important to me, personally. Not a bunch of pointless paragraphs of filler.
Exactly. It's called intimacy. It's about the characters and their drama. Nothing else matters. Think of it as reading the text of a play. There's a great freedom to it because you're using your own imagination to fill in what's happening while the dialogue is going. I apply that same principle to my short stories.
technically he dreamed about her before he was told
YOU DAMNED FUCKED UP BOY!
Your daughter, your own flesh and blood, almost committed suicide because of YOU.
7240619 No, he was told before the dream just as the line says and as was implied in conversation within Sour Sweet Dreams.
7240584
A play cuts out the "filler" and replaces it with
[Scene: Location] (set dressing)
[Stagr directions] (Character does and says X)
7240688
Yes. Only the basic and important details. Just like I try to do with my prose.
Even though this is supposed to be read and perceived in 2nd person, you have done such a marvelous job in creating a character out of these stories that can capture the feelings of the read while still being an individual within the context of the story,
It is as if the "reader" character is representing everyone, yet at the same time becoming a separate character fitted for the story.
7240710 Which is not a story. This shouldn't have passed submission.
7240769 it tells events in a coherent timeline, thus making a story, and therefore allowed past submission.
7240884 Don't feed the trolls. That was my mistake, too.
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Did you just call me a troll?
Edit: Really. If you called me a troll, I want to know.