Dragon Quarry

by Mimkage

Ch2: Jade Dragon

“Spike!? Spike?” Twilight wandered down the halls of the Crystal Palace in search of Spike. Dinner was ready and it seemed no one had seen him since they arrived. Twilight was slightly annoyed as she didn’t want to keep Cadence and Shining waiting but she wasn’t about to start eating without knowing where spike was.

As she made her way down she spotted a maid dusting the vases so she approached her.

“Excuse me, miss.” The pony looked at her, duster in mouth, “You wouldn’t happen to see Spike anywhere right? Small purple dragon?”

“Oh yes, Spike the honorable brave and glorious? I saw him in a closet just down the hallway. He helped me find a duster but he hasn’t left the room. At least, I don’t think he has your majesty.”

“Okay, thank you!” The maid bowed, walking off to continue her work as Twilight went down to said closet. She assumed Spike was probably reading in there or something but it still struck her as odd he would do that in a closet. Coming down the hall she spots an open door which she assumes was the closet the maid spoke of. She peered in the dark room, squinting as she looked around the room before calling out to Spike.

“Spike?”

“Over here!”

Spike waved, attracting Twilight’s attention. All she managed to see was a silhouette of his claws waving in the very back of the room so she approaches him; prepared to give him a good ear lashing about being late for dinner. Her horn flared to light the dim room, finding spike sitting by himself and looking up at something

“Spike! Princess Cadence and Shining are waiting for us so we can eat! Why are you sitting in the back of a dark room by yourself?” Spike said nothing, he just pointed up at the thing he looked up. Light now upon it Spike and Twilight could see the true detail of the dragon carved proudly upon it; the light illumining the smooth jade. Twilight tiled her head.

“It’s… pretty I guess.”

“No Twilight, look at it!” She wasn’t exactly sure why he would be so fixated on it but she decided to humor him. Upon closer inspection she did notice there was something off about this statue but nothing really screamed out at her.

“It’s… green?”

“Agh no! It doesn’t have any wings!” She looked at him, realizing he was right. Of course, she didn’t find that to be much of a big deal so she just raised an eyebrow at it.

“Well yeah but there are dragons without wings. Like…”

“Like me?” Twilight looked down at Spike, seeing him stare at the statue. He approached it, touching the tail that wrapped around the jade pillar it was carved into.

“I’ve never seen a dragon without wings.”

“Well, I suppose not. But I do wonder why there a statue of a dragon at all in the Crystal Empire. It’s too cold for them this far north.” She keep her eyes on Spike, sensing that something was brewing in his little head.

“One of the maids called it an Earth Dragon. I’ve never heard of those.”

Twilight thought, placing her hoof on her chin.

“Umm I don’t think I’ve ever heard of ‘Earth dragons’. Just a regular ones.” Spike sat back down, looking up at the statue.

“Anyways, we can always look into that later. Let’s go eat something. Cadence has some large, juicy emeralds for you.” Spike just waved back at her, not even looking directly at her.

“Eh I’ll join you guys in a bit.”

“Well… okay…” Hesitantly, she began making her way back to the door; looking back just before leaving the room.

“You sure?” Spike nodded, keeping his eyes on the statue.

“Yeah.” She lingered, looking at him with a look of concern before leaving him to be. Her hoof steps echo as she walks away until they pitter into silence, leaving Spike with only the sound of his breath to fill the room. He stared into the eyes of the statue, feeling as if he should know who that was but he didn’t.

“Who… are you?”

“Empress Jade…”

Scared out his wits, Spike jumped to his feet and turned to face the voice. To his shock, the cloaked figure from the train towered before him. His hear pounded in his chest as he stared up at the towering figure that seemed to be even taller than Twilight. White puffs of smoke released from the dark hole of the hood as the figure breathed out slowly. Spike didn’t know what to make of this as the figure just stood there before him without uttering a single word.

“U-uhh…”

“You don’t belong here.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, looking at the figure before him cautiously. He was thinking running for security but if he tried this stranger could easily catch him.

“W-what do you mean?”

While that was going on Twilight sat at a large table with Shining and Cadence, the married couple enjoying their meal. Twilight, on the other hoof, just sat there staring at her grilled carrots. Clearly there was something on her mind. While Shining chowed down on his meal Cadence instantly picked up on Twilight’s odd behavior and, judging by the fact a full bowl of gems sat right next to her untouched, she could easily infer why.

“So, when is Spike joining us?” She asked, deciding to be a bit more cautious with her approach.

“Umm he should be here soon. Any minute now.” Twilight looked up at Cadence, noticing her raised eyebrow that instantly clued Twilight she couldn’t play Cadence. She sighed, deciding it would be better to be honest then to try anything else.

“Umm.. I don’t think he’ll be joining us.” Overhearing the conversation, Shining decided to throw in his two bits.

“Mmm.. mmm why not?” He spoke with his muzzle full, placing his hoof over his mouth to keep from flinging any food at anypony.

“Well.” She looked down, pushing her food aside as she explained. “He found a statue of a dragon in one of the castle closets. For some reason he insists on sitting in front of it and staring at it.”

Cadence tilted her head, looking at Shining who shrugged in response.

“A dragon statue? The castle doesn’t have any dragon statues as far as I know. You said he found it in a closet?”

“Uh hu. It was sitting in the very back.”

“Well he’s seen dragon statues before no? There were a few of them back in Canterlot.” Shining shoved another spoon full of broccoli in his mouth, looking at Twilight as she explained.

“That’s just it, it wasn’t a normal dragon. This one was made without wings and it was carved into what I think was some green jade. “ Shining tilted his head, looking at his wife.

“A wingless dragon? I didn’t know those existed.”

Cadence stood, starting to make her way out of the dining room. Twilight and Shining stared at her with a questioning stare.

“Where are you going?” Asked Twilight. Cadence turned around to face her as she spoke.

“I’m going to go see it for myself. If there is a statue like that in my castle I should know about it right?” She continued to make her way, Twilight and Shining instantly following her.

Back with Spike, he still stood before the stranger with a cautious look.

“Why are you here? Who are you!” He demanded, fear gripping his insides. It took a moment for the cloaked figure to reply.

“I’m here for you. You shouldn’t be here, ponies are dangerous.” Spike tilted his head.

“Dangerous? How?” The cloaked figure didn’t reply, they just extended a scaly pink arm to him and held it out for him to take.

“We don’t have time now. Come with me, I’ll tell you everything.” They took a step towards Spike and Spike took a step back. His heart raced as this stranger came closer and closer.

“Come with me.” His back hit the wall, ceasing his attempts to back away from the stranger. There was no way for him to get away so he did the next thing he knew.

“HELP!” He cried out, causing the stranger to back off in surprise. His voice echoed through the hallways, reaching the ear of Twilight and company.

“Spike!” Twilight galloped at full speed, Cadence and Shining behind her.

“You fool!” The stranger lunged at Spike, attempting to grab him only to have him dodge and run for the door. However, Spike could not escape as the stranger slithered around like a snake, moving at blinding speed. They stood in his way, a growling sound coming from them. They jumped for him again only to be blasted into a pile of cleaning materials by a powerful, purple magical beam.

Twilight stood at the door, an expression of pure lividness drawn across her face.

“Twilight!” Spike ran over to Twilight, going behind her front leg for protection. Shining Armor jumped into the room, his horn glowing and ready to attack as he approached stranger. They didn’t move, not an inch.

“Freeze! Move and I will engage!” He moved slowly, keeping his head low as he came closer and closer. Twilight used her wing to shield Spike, her magical aura still in effect. Slowly, Shining reached over to the stranger, attempting to touch them. The moment his hoof touched the fabric the stranger coiled around him like a snake and flung him into the wall; knocking him out. They ran towards Twilight at a blinding speed, prompting her to attempt to shoot it down. It was too fast however as each beam missed.

They were right on top of her, seemly like they were going to attack to which Twilight responded by shielding herself with her wing. However, they instead leaped over Twilight and attempted to run away.

But before they could even attempt to they were blasted with another magical beam from Cadence. The beam flung the figure down the hallway. Their claws screeched across the crystal floors as they caught themselves. Instantly they were off but Cadence and Twilight chased them down with Spike riding on Twilight’s back.

“Guards! Guards! Stop them!” Cried Cadence, only to turn the corner and find a hallway full of knocked out crystal guards. With no pony to stop them the cloaked figure slid through a window and ran out into the castle courtyard. Cadence and Twilight flew after them, attempting to chase them, only to loose them in the gardens. The stranger was just to slippery and fast to keep up with.

“No, he got away!” Cadence looked all over, hoping to stop them to no avail. Twilight, however, shifted her attention back at Spike.

“Spike, are you okay? They didn’t hurt you did they?”Spike shook his head, sighing in relief as the fear calmed.

“I’m okay, thank you Twilight.”

Comments

[Dark Chocolate]

Oh my God a Spike origin story! Yes!

[Tamerlane1405]

Whats with the use of the word "they" as the adjective describing someone of an unknown gender? Actually, her gender is well known at this point:

“Who… are you?”
“Empress Jade…”

I'm 100% sure "empress" refers to a female ruler.

But then who the hell refers to a single intruder as "them"? Normal people point at an intruder and shout "stop him/her" not "stop them" unless there's more than one of them.

This attempt to use gender-neutral pronouns to describe the intruder was both pointless and nonsensical.

[FrostyBoi59]

7446805 They said "Empress Jade" referring to the statue. That doesn't necessarily mean they were referring to themselves.

[Tamerlane1405]

7453791

They said "Empress Jade" referring to the statue. That doesn't necessarily mean they were referring to themselves.

Oh for crying out loud.

However, while use of they and its forms after singular indefinite pronouns or singular nouns of general personal reference or indefinite gender is common and generally acceptable, their use to refer to a single clearly specified, known, or named person is uncommon and likely to be noticed and criticized, as in this example: My hair stylist had their car stolen.

That's where I'm coming from.

And yes, I did realize the miscommunication regarding the intruder's statement.

Source: dictionary.com "they" usage passage

[Europa]

Did they all just forget they have telekinesis?

[The Pyropath]

“Oh yes, Spike the honorable brave and glorious? I saw him in a closet just down the hallway. He helped me find a duster but he hasn’t left the room. At least, I don’t think he has your majesty.”

Spike needs to come out of the closet already~

You really need to get an editor. It's pretty confusing reading this when your paragraphs are inconsistent and flawed. For example:

“One of the maids called it an Earth Dragon. I’ve never heard of those.”
Twilight thought, placing her hoof on her chin.“Umm I don’t think I’ve ever heard of ‘Earth dragons’. Just a regular ones.” Spike sat back down, looking up at the statue.
“Anyways, we can always look into that later. Let’s go eat something. Cadence has some large, juicy emeralds for you.” Spike just waved back at her, not even looking directly at her.
“Eh I’ll join you guys in a bit.”
“Well… okay…” Hesitantly, she began making her way back to the door; looking back just before leaving the room.
“You sure?” Spike nodded, keeping his eyes on the statue.
“Yeah.” She lingered, looking at him with a look of concern before leaving him to be.

Reading this will be confusing, as the lines following dialogue give the context that it's being said by the other character. In addition, things said by the same character should be together. I'll share what it should look like, as well as show who's saying what marked by an initial, but I'm not going to fix anything else; I'm not your editor, after all, just giving some advice:

S “One of the maids called it an Earth Dragon. I’ve never heard of those.”
T Twilight thought, placing her hoof on her chin. "Umm I don't think I've ever heard of 'Earth dragons'. Just a regular ones.” Spike sat back down, looking up at the statue. “Anyways, we can always look into that later. Let’s go eat something. Cadence has some large, juicy emeralds for you.”
S Spike just waved back at her, not even looking directly at her. “Eh I’ll join you guys in a bit.”
T “Well… okay…” Hesitantly, she began making her way back to the door; looking back just before leaving the room. “You sure?”
S Spike nodded, keeping his eyes on the statue. “Yeah.”
She lingered, looking at him with a look of concern before leaving him to be.

It's not that big of a problem; however, fixing these sorts of mistakes not only increases the quality of the story, but will make you a better writer in the end. Having an editor is great to ensure the final product is polished and proper, but they shouldn't be a crutch that you always rely on. You have to stand on your own to truly be successful. Maybe this was just how things were for the early chapters, and you have already grown; regardless, I hope you consider my advice. Fix these things so newer readers won't get turned off!