In one terrifying night, Equestria's heroes are incapacitated, its leaders go missing, and its citizens are left on the brink of panic. The dreaded King Sombra has returned from the grave to retake his Empire and conquer the land, and the soul of Equestria lies in the shadow of his tyranny. Ponies go missing in the night, and those who don't gain mysterious talents...
To save the mare who changed her life, one dressmaker must rise from despair with a peculiar new ability: the power of Stand! So begins her bizarre adventure!
Coco as a Stand user? Well, the weirdest Stand Users I've seen so far are a dog, baby and plankton.
Interesting, I did enjoy the slight Jem reference with the enemy stand user and I look forward to seeing what you'll bring next. Great job, keep goin and stay golden^^
7208011 Really? Care to elaborate?
Will Suri Polomare appear in this story?
7230532 Probably not.
7230589 You do realize that Coco Pommel is an Earth Pony, NOT a Unicorn, right? Unless you want to make it she was born one despite clearly not being one both in the actual show and even your stories cover image. Other than that this is a fun start so far.
7792621
Good catch, edited that. And thanks.
Hmmm... I'm torn between Button Mash, who has the best stand for combat, and Diamond Tiara, who'd probably get the most character development.
HAIL 2 U !! \o/
7230531 The Fool was used by a dog, Death 13 and Achtung Baby were both used by babies, and Foo Fighters was used by a mass of planktons.
I'm definitely intrigued by the concept but this chapter's pacing is really off... The skip between the intro with Coco and the action with scootaloo had me looking back to see if I missed something. Naming 'joy' before we really are introduced to her confused me as well, making me wonder if I'm suppose to know that character already. Coco's arrival as well seemed sudden and confusing. The overall structure of the chapter just made the whole thing read weirdly and cause unnecessary confusion.... at least imo
The conflict with scoots had a real jojo feel to it at least, it's clear you know what your doing on that front it's just a matter of it being conveyed in a more readable manner
Very Jojo, pretty enjoyable little stand battle. Joy giving coco a full explanation of the concepts of stands was a little much for a gloating villain but it still worked pretty well readability-wise.
The pacing issues aren't quite as bad as the first chapter, the transition from Coco's flashback back to the stand conflict had a little hiccup. The discovery was fine but the last 2 paragraph sum up of her exact abilities wasn't necessary. it could have been used a little later on in a more natural conversation to flesh out her skill set, like when talking with another stand user about it or something... it's not necessary for our understanding at this point in the series to know exact limits, long as the general use of it is clear to the reader so we can understand the battle and be intrigued what else is might be able to do.
Scoots stand was handled great over the last 2 chapters. You portrayed it's abilities in descriptions when in use, conveyed it's short range with her internal monologue waiting to turn the tables. Enough to understand what we as the readers needed to know.
S-Stando?!
Is that "何も王国が所有します" a professional translation? If so, then I'm amazed. Also, what is this "zawa" thing on both sides?
Oh, hold on, I got something better.
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Use the media BBCode for this context, it's the button that looks like a camera on a paper.
Wut?
8376175
ココの奇妙な冒険 - 何も王国が所有します is an attempt at "Ko-Ko's Bizarre Adventure: The Kingdom Belonging to Nothing", but it's more like "The Kingdom Owns Nothing". And zawa is a kanji sound-effect for an uneasy atmosphere.
I started using BBCode with Bon Bon's Bizarre Badventure, so thanks for the tip. I also think this story's gotten better with time, so I hope you let me know what you think if you read further.
7792621
Could you or anybody else tell me what that has to do with Suri appearing in this story?
7230589
Well then who's going to be Dio?
NIIIIICE!
I just love the stands you come up with. They are all very creative, especially the names.
I love this so far.
dude i love this story, hope to see it continue
8795756
8851597
Thanks guys. Sorry it's taking forever to update, but I try to alternate between this and Care, so whenever one hits a bump in the road I have to work through it instead of switching to smoother sailing. The Canterlot fight'll conclude before the month's up.
Tracking beacon activated. This bizarre adventure continues, I hope...
The cover art confuses me... Is this story humanized or not?
8937243
Nope... but it involves a mirror universe EQG
「STAND USER」 Tierique
「STAND NAME」 Bohemian Album
「ABILITY」 Disassembly
「Power」 B
「Speed 」A
「Range 」C
「Durability」 B
「Precision 」B
「Potential 」E
>>
7208011
Well Foo Fighters is a new species of plankton that touched the Stando Disku
Also did you forget about Bug-Eaten?
Did Whitesnake inspire this Stando?
I know it’s over already but if I could vote am torn between diamond tiara and spike because I could see you doing some cool things with there characters with both of them.
this is actually a cool story and I wish the author good tidings and plentiful crops