My Roommate is a Murderer

Aguion12 - GotA

Aguion12 - GotA #1 · May 7th, 2016 · 2 · ·

Reply

Loved the puns

buttonbelle

buttonbelle #2 · May 7th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

I now know things I never needed to but at least I learned them in a very funny way.

BotB

BotB #3 · May 7th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

I liked it... Very comedic ^^

MitchellTF

MitchellTF #4 · May 7th, 2016 · · 3 ·

Reply

Goes on a BIT Too long, But still funny.

Poet Knight

Poet Knight #5 · May 8th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

That was ...admittedly awesome!!
Now I want you to write a multi-chapter based on this! (hopefully with backstory!)

grammar404

grammar404 #6 · May 8th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

Now, I know what to do to cover my trail.

Boulder

Boulder #7 · May 8th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

Gore...Comedy...Dark! Well gore yes, comedy most definitely, not sure what was so dark about it though, maybe I'm too desensitised.

Jman14102

Jman14102 #8 · May 8th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

The Interesting Effects of Post-Grunge-Rap Orchestroelectro Dubtoven Fusion Applied Directly to the Cranium

Okay, it's going to be one of those kind of stories.

Octavia rolled her eyes, pouring water all over her head. “Better think how to get rid of the body,” she said. “Someone may get suspicious if they see us going to the forest in the middle of the night. Also, corpses drown in the swamps tend to resurface when you least expect it.”

Zippoorwhill can attest to this.

Enigmatic Otaku

Enigmatic Otaku #9 · May 8th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

hehehe... 'seesaw'.

Samey90

Samey90 #10 · May 8th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

7196678

Okay, it's going to be one of those kind of stories.

Was it ever any doubt?

Disavowed ASH

Disavowed ASH #11 · May 8th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

This is the most glorious thing in existence!

Tavy is right, the competition can be quite..... KILLER!

Samey90

Samey90 #12 · May 8th, 2016 · 2 · ·

Reply

7197704
Yeah, but the prize is to die for.

Bahamut Omega

Bahamut Omega #13 · May 8th, 2016 · 3 · ·

Reply

Octavia is a murderer... And will we ever find out who whacked the pimp?

Disavowed ASH

Disavowed ASH #14 · May 9th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

7197749 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Nikkori

Nikkori #15 · May 9th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

Vinyl smirked, considering the possibilities. However, the corpse on the floor was still bugging her. Especially because of the flies gathering above it. “What are we going to do now?”
“We have to dispose of the body, of course,” Octavia replied. “Do you think it’s gonna fit in the cello case?”
“I’m afraid that’s not the case,” Vinyl muttered.
Octavia nodded, looking around the room. “So, I guess we’ll have to do that the hard way. Do we have something sharp at home?”
“I have a chainsaw somewhere,” Vinyl replied. “You know, from that music video I was making.”
Tavi’s face twisted into a cringe for a split second. “No, I don’t think that would be quite ideal. Too much splatter and whatnot. I’ve already had to clean enough, tonight.” She scanned the room, one hoof tapping the floor as she added, “Gore also tends to gum up the mechanism.”

Newest Yandere Simulator Easter egg. Treble Mode. Press what ever key that's not on the debug menu.

Tavi pulled her hoof away to point at Vinyl. “You’re, like, completely covered in Neon...”
“That’s what she said.”
Octavia grabbed Vinyl and lifted her almost effortlessly. “Go and wash yourself before I drown you in the bathtub. And this time it won’t be ‘I’ve heard you have a better orgasm when you are suffocating’ kind of drowning.”
“Hey, but we’ve never had sex with each other!” Vinyl exclaimed.
“Yes, but if you don’t remember, I found you with your head in a bathtub and your ass in the air, with a vibrator stuck inside. And it was my vibrator...” Octavia sighed.
“So that was drowning?” Vinyl asked. “When I woke up in the hospital, I thought it short-circuited...”

No Vinyl. You had such a great orgasm that you passed out from the sheer awesomeness of it... It's happened to my older sis.....

Hey, auntie Arpeggio is dead?” Vinyl asked, pointing at the grave. “I kinda liked that old cow. Especially that one time when she visited us and we all got high on her pills…”
“She died when you were on tour,” Octavia replied. “I inherited a million bits.”
“And yet you still live with me,” Vinyl muttered. “Why?”
“Umm…” Octavia smiled sheepishly. “So I can come here and play my cello. I sometimes get inspiration from my ancestors…”
“Yeah, right.” Vinyl patted her hoof against aunt Arpeggio’s tomb. “Farewell, Arpi, you and your pills will be missed.” Her eyes turned to another grave. “Hey, this one is yours! That’s fucking creepy!”

I have a piece of land that has my tombstone on it with that little quote thingy on it too.... When I found out I said "That's fucking creepy and I'm not dying for another 100 years."

As they walked together through the empty streets of Ponyville, Vinyl looked at Octavia unsurely. She opened her mouth, but no word escaped her lips. For a while, she was humming some melody before turning to Octavia again, only to look away after a second.
“Something bothers you, dear?” Octavia asked.
“Well…” Vinyl lowered her voice to a whisper. “I wanted to ask… How do you know how to, umm… cut off limbs and, err… hide bodies?”
“Oh, that’s simple.” Octavia raised her hoof. “You know how many young cellists want to be in the Royal Canterlot Orchestra?”
“I can’t see the connection…”
“The competition is big. And I really mean it.” Octavia walked down the pavement like a real fancy lady, leaving Vinyl standing in the street, pondering about everything she had learned on that fateful day.

Yup. Yandere Simulator's new Easter egg again, now with Royal Canterlot Orchestra Senpai!

Samey, do you play Yandere Simulator?

Boulder

Boulder #16 · May 9th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

7197927 Watching the news is darker than this what with ISIS beheading hostages & people blowing themselves up for Allah. Like I said I'm desensitised now thanks to modern times.

Raichu

Raichu #17 · May 9th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

Uh.... That was nice. I liked it.

“Do you know how many polyesters had to die for you to have this coat?” Vinyl asked.

Funniest thing I've read tonight.

Airship-King

Airship-King #18 · May 9th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

I kind of figured out the twist from how both of them handled the situation, but this was still hilarious.

YoshiOfADown

YoshiOfADown #19 · May 9th, 2016 · 2 · ·

Reply

“I saw that coming,” Derpy said.

pre02.deviantart.net/ec96/th/pre/f/2012/113/f/1/twilight_is_not_amused_by_mrsketchcity-d4xdfwm.png

Samey90

Samey90 #20 · May 9th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

7198453
It was Fluttershy. I'll leave it to your imagination how and why.

7199302

Samey, do you play Yandere Simulator?

No. Should I?

It's happened to my older sis.....

What? I mean, I can see this happening, but how?

I have a piece of land that has my tombstone on it with that little quote thingy on it too.... When I found out I said "That's fucking creepy and I'm not dying for another 100 years."

Nice. My grandparents only have a place bought in advance, but so far they got no tombstones.

Nikkori

Nikkori #21 · May 9th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Reply

7200885 It's this game where you are a girl and you have a Senpai and then you kill your rivals.

And all my sister told me was to blame the Mexicans....

Dastardly Hun

Dastardly Hun #22 · May 10th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

This was disturbingly hilarious and hilariously disturbing.

Samey90

Samey90 #23 · May 10th, 2016 · · ·

Reply

7201626
Sounds like my kind of game. Also, Mexicans? Interesting...

s_outcast

s_outcast #24 · May 24th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

A good friend will help you move a couch. A good roommate will help you move a body, so long as the carpet is on the line.

Brilliant work as always

Arxsys

Arxsys #25 · May 31st, 2016 · 1 · ·

Reply

Thumbs up but alcohol won't remove blood traces. Hydrogen peroxide does a good job though.

What? I hunt.

Don't look at me like that.

Samey90

Samey90 #26 · May 31st, 2016 · · ·

Reply

7262321
In the lab, we were simply washing the blood with some detergent first and then disinfect the tables with alcohol. But we didn't have to worry about someone finding the traces (except maybe PETA, but they didn't pay us a visit).

Also, I may be skewed by my current job because my first thought about hydrogen peroxide is "teeth whitening products that may destroy teeth if used wrong".

justanotheranon

justanotheranon #27 · Apr 4th, 2017 · · ·

Reply

Everything they said was either so sarcastic or so stupid and I loved it

Samey90

Samey90 #28 · Feb 12th, 2018 · · ·

Reply

8730338

As for Octavia's skill, you may want to look for other wannabe cellists...

Acadians6545

Acadians6545 #29 · Dec 8th, 2019 · · ·

Reply

“You came out wrong,” Octavia replied. “You don’t do that by getting drunk, kicking the door of your parents’ house, and yelling, ‘I fuck mares, deal with it!’.”

Yes you do.

“I see,” Octavia muttered. “What did I tell you about smoking fags at home?”

Why you shooting gay ponies?
This ain't Pony Texas.

“No, you can’t invite Flitter and Cloudchaser over to shoot porn with them.”

...Well you're no fun.

“Kinda a waste of place,” Vinyl muttered. “My family doesn’t have a crypt. We just put the urns with ashes in the wall of the biggest brothel in Las Pegasus. Our money supported it so many times that we support it even after death.” She sighed. “Well, except that one time when my grandfather accidentally snorted my uncle’s ashes. But he snorts everything.”

Was Grandpa named Willie Neighson?

“Gods, too bad you don’t exist because you’d strike my great, great-granddaughter’s arse with some well-aimed lightning. Not to mention that bloody tosspot.”

You heard him Zeus, let them have it.

Samey90