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After the untimely passing of his mother, a young colt and his father move to a boomtown located in the Badlands, where he meets and befriends a group of ponies that will join him on the path to becoming the ultimate heroes, and defenders of Equestria. With their judgement skewed by events of their past, will they make the proper choices for the betterment of Equestria, or will they become the very things they sought to destroy?
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Okay, I have read your first two chapter, and I can admit that you have worded very hard in writing, trying to do a good world building of the surrounding area and give a good back story to them. The noticeable problem that I can see in the narration is that you are trying to explain in detail the colt's new hometown in his point at the third person in the manner of an omniscient narrator which make it difficult to understand how he knows all that stuff at his age and the constant explanation of what is what of hampers the flow of the story. I think it would have been better if you could go with a more subjective approach to the narration and have him be explain by the characters around him the happening of the town and express more the colts opinions on matters, his passions, his aspersions in life, he can't be neutral all the time, he would do anything then. I know you did wit JD toward the end about hit, but doesn't talk like an actual child would, and starts to go into details on aspects that wouldn't normally interest a child.
Their is also the issue of the neutral tone of the narrator that make is hard to understand what are the colt's stance on things, and make it hard understand his personalty or thoughts and we are just left with a dry description of what is happening around or of what he is doing. He seem to be a daddy's colt for the most part, stringently following rule and may be a bit of a bookworm, but I don't feel any real passion form him.
that narrative style that you have chosen is actually interesting to read, but I don't think is is suited to the kind of coming of age story that you are trying to write here. you get a little less rigid in your writing at the end so you are definitely improving in your writing, keep up the good work.