• Published 23rd Jul 2016
  • 3,017 Views, 18 Comments

False - no sh*t sherlock



A peace treaty between humans and ponies is about to be undone by one man. Twilight must find out why before he disappears.

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False

Written By: no sh*t sherlock

Proofread and Revised By: Greenback

“How many are there?” Twilight Sparkle shouted at her older brother as the two of them rushed to get extra medical supplies. They were at Canterlot Hospital where survivors of an attack were being brought in. Doctors and Nurses ran about, as injured ponies were carried inside on stretchers, the most critically injured being rushed to surgery and intensive care. Members of the Canterlot Royal Guard had been brought in as security, but were running around helping out in whatever way they could.

“I'm not sure yet. Most are still coming here but some are heading to Ponyville’s Hospital.” Shining Armor yelled back as he handed a doctor a bag of medicine. “But we're estimating somewhere in the 60s.”

“Do we have any information on the attacker?”

“We have him in custody. Put him in a holding cell, but my guys say he won't talk.” Shining Armor shook his head. “This will destroy the peace treaty, Twilight. A human attacking innocent pony civilians. I thought things like this were over. I can't imagine why someone would do this.”

“Let me talk to him.” Twilight said. “Maybe I can get some kind of explanation out of him. Something to stop the violence before it starts.”

“No Twily. He doesn't want to talk, so I'm just going to bury him.”

Twilight put a hoof on his shoulder. “Please, I just want to try.”

Shining Armour knew He couldn't deny his sister the opportunity. They both knew that the peace treaty between the ponies and humans was fragile, but in five years nothing like this had happened. Now, because of one senseless act, it was all about to be undone. If there was even one chance to stop it, they had to take it.

After a half an hour, when the all doctors had been called into the hospital, Shining Armor took Twilight to the Castle, and down a long hallway full of Royal Guards to a locked room

“Okay I have to get back to the Hospital.” Shining Armor handed his sister a file with the name “John Doe” written on it. “We have no information on him, Twilight, but hopefully you can get us some. But as soon as things get under control at the hospital, I'm coming back to deal with him.”

Twilight nodded.

“Good luck.” Shining Armor said, and then he ran back down the hallway.

Twilight turned to the cell door and nodded to one of the guards who unlocked and opened it for her. She walked into the cell and the door was quickly shut behind her. The concrete room was small and dimly lit, with most of the floor taken up by a large metal table in the center. Sitting at the opposite end of the table, directly under one of the lights, was the offender.

Before she moved an inch, Twilight looked him over. A young, short haired man stared back at her. His shirt was ripped, exposing bruises all over his torso. He had cut along his right cheek which had dripped blood onto a chain that wrapped around his stomach and secured him to the chair. His arms were extended on the table with handcuffs securing his wrists to it. Still he stared back at Twilight with just the faintest hint of a smug smile.

Knowing her time was limited, Twilight stepped up to the table and put the folder down.

The man didn’t take his eyes off her.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight said calmly. “I know I’m not the first person to come talk to you and I know those before me probably threatened you. I’m not here to do that, but I do want to show you something.”

Twilight opened the folder and revealed it to be empty. She slid the empty folder down the table and onto the man's fingers. He glanced at it for a moment before looking back up.

“That’s what we have on you: nothing. You're a John Doe. You don’t exist. That means no trial, they're going to hurt you and then bury you in a dungeon for the rest of your life.”

The man wordlessly slid the folder back to her.

“I'm not trying to threaten you.” Twilight reassured the man. “I'm just telling you whats going to happen. Now I have some questions that I need answered. And I need them before they take you out of here.”

The man stared intently into Twilight’s eyes.

“Why did you do this, John?” Twilight asked. “The treaty was working. There was peace. But then you come along and now the Equestrian Militia is already planning to retaliate and I don't think we can convince them to stand down.”

The man smiled.

“If the militia attacks, many humans will die. Is that want you wanted? Does that make you laugh?”

The man’s face was like a mask: expressionless.

“I didn't think so.” Twilight added firmly. “Do think you gained anything today for humans? When the Equestrian Militia attacks, I'm sure the humans will return fire. And it'll continue like that unless we can convince both sides to stand down again. If not, things will return to how they were seven years ago. Do you really think that's good for either side?!”

The human didn’t answer.

Twilight shook her head. “What did you or any human have to gain from this?” She paused for a moment to let the man answer. When he didn't she sighed. “Many people and ponies are going to die because of what you did,” Twilight growled. “I need you to give me something here. Some kind of justification for your actions, it doesn't even have to be true. Just give me something so it doesn't look like you violated the treaty just for the hell of it!”

The man shook his head back and forth.

“Then you are a monster and your actions will be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of your own people!” Twilight roared. “And wherever you're taken after this, I hope you do NOT enjoy your stay!”

Slamming her hooves on the table, Twilight turned and stormed out of the interrogation room, slamming the door shut and leaving the man to himself.

Minutes after Twilight left, and when he no longer heard any voices outside, he relaxed his body and slowly breathed in and out. Green flames briefly engulfed him before vanishing and revealing his true form.

"For the queen," The changeling croaked softly in its own language. It took one final deep breath before morphing back into a man as he heard noises outside the door.

Comments ( 18 )

Um, interesting but uh, was there a point to this? Seems like there could be more.

This story has an intriguing idea, but it does feel like a chapter taken from a much larger story. The setup is good, as is the stakes, but I just wanted a little more information on everything that was going on, like the war that eventually led to the treaty (though to the story's credit, we are given enough information so we know the basics), and especially why the changelings wanted the treaty to be broken; I imagine Chrysalis would want some infighting so she could move in and feed off the survivors, and it would have been great if Twilight learned this information and struggled to make everyone believe her before the conflict started up again.

There's also a fair amount of grammar errors present; if you'd like, I could do some proofreading for you to help correct them.

So in all this time that they have been together in peace, they never asked about the different races on each others planet and their abilities?
It would be kind of obvious to ask about the changelings and their morphing capabilities. A blood test would show them that it wasn't a human right?

Interesting but will there be more?

7416739 Thank you for your comment. This was more a concept that I had in my head that I just wanted to get out there. I honestly didn't expect people to want it expanded which is why I tried to put most of the essential details within the story.

As for your offer to proofread, if it still stands I would greatly appreciate that. I'm currently writing on my phone for the moment and I should have taken the extra time to go through it.

Also I'm a big fan of the Monster Below :)

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!!!!!!

7417300
Sure, I'll try to get my suggestions to you later today. And I'm always delighted to meet a fan!:twilightsmile:

Follow up?

Oh that was brilliant. That was stratrgy.

7417300 if only there was more but still preeeeeeetttyyyy good!!!!!

7421835 sorry! Thanks though :3

don't the cells has surveillance?

Very unexpected and very interesting to read at the same time :moustache:

Comment posted by TheGrandNil deleted Nov 29th, 2023

9403230
they overreact to sticks breaking, what did you honestly expect, and look at how superior their nobles proclaim themselves, and even claim a moral grandstand (a false peak); WHEN EVEN BASIC TERMS IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE DONT EVEN FOLLOW SUCH STANDREDS, and they refuse to directly remove repeated & NATIVE threats to their OWN NATION

ex for lang:
having no generalized terms like everyone, look how they constently referance their own instead; now look at the nobles again.....
(xenos of the space kind have more basis for this AND IT TENDS TO BE THEIR OWN GENERALIZED VERSION OF SUCH TERMS ANYWAY; EVEN WITH WORLDS WITH MULTIBLE SAPIENT NATIVE SPECIES, AND EVEN ON THOSE WORLDS AS WELL)

THUS, SCUM ]ALL OF THEM.[

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