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Comma-Kazie
Joined December 2011
439 followers
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Comma-Kazie
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Joined December 2011
439 followers
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46w, 4dSad
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48w, 1dThe Writer's Group
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47w, 6dOne-Shots
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47w, 2dDare to Derp!
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47w, 3dDerpy tales
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35w, 46mExtremely Sad
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48w, 1dTwilight's Library
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7w, 16hColorado Authors
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18w, 1dCompleted Story Compendium
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5d, 9hDinky & Derpy Fics
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1d, 19hMeri's Favorite Stories
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Dinky's innocence counters everything.
Image: http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn105/walkseva/ManlyTearsHaveBeenShed.jpg
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_gasp.png
the only thing that makes it sadder is that dinky does'nt know whats going on
I didn't want to read this because I hate sad fics, and yet here I am.
That was beautiful, but now I'm
Now, what's weird is I thought it was not less sad because Dinky didn't know what was going on, but more bearable. Like, on one side, the reader isn't being banged over the head with so much sadness it physically hurts. This way, the sadness seeps in like a slow fire and then at the ends it's just BOOM if you didn't have aller-jeez before, you surely have them now.
Poor derpy
It was sad, it was sad, it was...
"Mommy's sleeping."
Bam, right in the gut. Wow. What a way to end it. GREAT work, man, great.
I was reminded of that part of As I Lay Dying where Dewey Dell goes to see the doctor in town and she's so totally clueless and it just breaks your heart.
Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4496-BVqwB.gif
and so the tears fall as I recall the tradgetie that was once called my life
Without the ones that we love to be strong for us what do we have?
And how their memories bring us tears. how can we accept loss and go on?
Maybe we just need to realise that such things happen and there is no way we can change it.
but the tears still fall.
Jeezus Chriminy, that's some serious naivete going on there! I mean, even when she was up close, she still... oh god, so cruel you are describing these things through the filter of a child's innocence. It just makes it more saddening!
Luckily I had some perky Touhou music playing as I read this, otherwise I'd be feeling really down. But still, my mouth was all 
when Dinky "snuggled up." It's reassuring that such innocence still exists in the world, but even so, dang. Way to stick it to us, without sticking it to her. In summation, well done
Ooooookay.... feel free to dismiss everything I'm about to say as the words of a heartless bastard but...
What really hurts me about this story is how everypony's lying to Dinky. I absolutely hate this kind of sheltering of children. Dinky should've been told, early on, that her mom will not get better and that she will die. It would have been painful but much better in the long term. I think people get so caught up in protecting children that they forget that children deserve respect, and that means the truth.
I have known about death as far back as my memories go. I always knew that my parents would die; I always knew that I would die someday. It was never a taboo subject; never a mystery. It actually confused me when I talked to some of my friends at that age and they had very bizarre ideas that I knew were wrong; I thought they were stupid but I now realize they were just sheltered.
And though I was sad when I, as a child, experienced loved ones dying, I was able to deal with it because I knew very well what was happening. Should I ever have children of my own, I will tell them the truth, always.
Oh sweet merciful *&^%@ that's the most heartbreaking story EVER. I want to hug Dinky soooooo badly right now!
I like how you had Rainbow Dash be in charge of taking care of the girls....I felt like she and Derpy had some sort of friendship going on, considering how they interacted in "The Last Roundup" Dash didn't actually nearly as annoyed or angry as she would've/could've been otherwise.
But this....is just so amazingly and horrifically sad. I lost my little brother to cancer a year and a half ago. You really created the right atmosphere and tension, it as a lot like this really.
Props.
I agree, children who do not know about death are ignorant, not innocent.
Even Sesame Street talked about the topic of death, and from what I've heard, that episode got great reception from parents because of the way the issue was treated. This story had some good writing, but I really dislike how the adults shelter her.
I must be just about the only one who didn't really feel much from this. It's not bad, it just didn't really have an impact for me. I don't know, too straight-forward, maybe? Or maybe because I never really cared much for the idea of Dinky as Ditzy/Derpy's daughter.
I do agree with >>787314 though, that it's a little bothersome that no one ever told her what was really going on. But that's about the only thing I felt from this, pretty much just neutral otherwise, for whatever reason. I guess it just didn't strike me as anything more than hypothetical.
On the topic of Dinky being kept in the dark, I don't think it was so much a matter of anyone lying to her as it was that everyone else was hoping that someone else would be the one to have that talk with her.
I could definitely see Rainbow Dash thinking that she should let someone like Fluttershy handle telling Dinky what's going on. I think Rainbow's self-aware enough to realize that "sensitive" and 'delicate" are not her strong suits.
>>786226 This is going to sound like a strange question, but is there a reason that you used the name "Derpy" when talking here in the comments, but "Ditzy" in the story itself?
I've seen some authors doing that and I'm curious why. 
Also, thanks for the story, though it was really sad.
To all saying that Dinky was "unfairly left in the dark" about her mother, look at it this way:
\As I stated before, I was an adult when I lost my mom, and it ripped me apart. Her and I were very close, much like Derpy and Dinky. Now imagine having to explain to a young child (or filly, in this case) that she will never see her mommy again. She doesn't know what death is. She's at the age where she still depends on her mother for almost everything. How do you tell a child/filly that EVERYTHING she knew would either change or disappear literally overnight? I understand that she needs to know the truth, but you can't just spring something like that on a small kid.
>>790503 Ah, thankie but no thankie. You see, I have a slow Compaq laptop. Soon, im going to get a PC with a tower and seperate monitor... You know that works. It will be for things like Minecraft Terraria, FRAPS, Steam, etc... By then, my dad's friend will be done. I mean, he also has to refurbish my dad's old band music. Ye olde jazz. 
>>790380 I'm in the camp that believes that "Ditzy Doo" is her real name and "Derpy" is an unfortunate nickname she picked up somewhere along the way. Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day was one of the first Derpy-centric fics I ever read, and it left a lasting impression.
Also: You're quite welcome. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
I recommend getting Advanced System Care 5. There's a way to get the full version for free that is 100% legal. This link will take you to the download page for the beta version.
http://www.mediafire.com/?lc21pshon0871qv
It will occasionally as if you want to upgrade. ALWAYS click "decide later" or else you'll get the free trial version which has less features. The beta is basically the full version. I promise that 1) It really does work and 2) it's virus free. It's what I use. There are also a lot of neat options in the Toolbox.
I posted this link so that everypony can get a great program for free, without need a crack or key.
>>791648 >>791094 Actually, I recommend Pririform's CCleaner; it's freeware, so you never need to worry about legality or payment, and it works as well as software you'd pay for. I've been using it and other freeware programs like it on my tower for years without issue.
I have that as well. I co-host an online radio show that focuses mainly on the paranormal. We occasionally have a big name on with us, which means tons of fans calling in. I run the call cue, and unless I use every tool in my arsenal, the high number of callers cause my internet to crash. So I use both, as well as malwarebytes.
Image: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/021/0/3/manly_tears_by_dylandylan72-d4n7l51.pngAnd they aren't stopping.
You brought back a weird memory. It was over ten years ago and my paternal grandfather had just died. At the open-casket funeral my little toddler cousin had shushed everyone because "Paw-paw sleeping!" Then, when we got home, he went to find my grandfather on the couch in the basement where he watched TV, but he wasn't there, so my cousin just asked around, "No Paw-paw?" A little close to home, this one. Very well written. Wonderful choice of narrative structure.
>>788757 >>789846 Thanks, guys. I was feeling really alone in posting that; it's nice to know I'm not a total freak.
>>790525 Yes, it's difficult, but now that Dinky's mother is dead, is telling Dinky going to be any easier? I think it would've been better for Dinky to have a chance to say a real goodbye.
Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yVy9kNKQ3r0/Tn4hyAGCHNI/AAAAAAAAAKw/1AlSB5jxumA/s1600/manly+tears+discord3.png
>>756304 It's like Aperture Science--we do horrible things to show that we care.
>>791479 Thanks, I'm glad you think so! Writing from Dinky's perspective was a little trickier than I thought it would be, but I just couldn't think of a better way to tell this.
>>793530 I appreciate the comparisons, especially to Bubbles. Derpy's naivete in that story was where I drew a lot of inspiration for Dinky's perspective, and I'm really hoping to make From the Mouths of Fillies as memorable to the fandom as they are.
>>787458 I got that impression as well--Dash seemed more exasperated than angry, so my guess is that there's history between them. From that, I guessed that the Element of Loyalty would be the most logical caretaker.
And for what it's worth . . . I'm sorry to hear about your brother.
not bad.....but I have to recommend working a bit more on portraying children thoughts. some parts made it seem as if Dinky was a toddler whilst others used way too complex thought processes, for a child. parts of the narration itself seemed way to mature and unfitting, but that's just my opinion.still, this was an enjoyable story
this story was beautiful in the way it was sad, you told it in the view of a child which makes it kinda sad as she dosen't fully understand thing and it made it even sader when you find out derpy die at the end with out saying goodbye to dinky
you've done a really good story 
I really shouldn't have read this story right after reading Saying Goodbye and The Life and Times of A Winning Pony. Any sadness was immediately removed by the sheer fact that random snippets kept popping into my head since... well actually, best not to assume, they're all in the same world right?
>>820159 Chen actually came up with Saying Goodbye while helping me polish this story; however, he specifically said that Saying Goodbye is an alternate continuity to The Life and Times of a Winning Pony--a "what if?" oneshot that does not take place in the canon he's established.
>>795263 Can't say I've read that one before--I'll have to look it up.
>>804341 I was afraid of that--I've never written from a child's perspective before. Which part(s) specifically did you think were inconsistent?
Would make it hard to enjoy Derpy and Cloud Kicker's interactions in The Life and Times of a Winning Pony if the possibility of Derpy getting sick and dying was constantly hanging overhead.
Oddly enough, Comma-Kazie and I do seem to be working out a semi-shared universe. Blame it on the fact that we spend a lot of time editing each others work and bouncing ideas off each other..
I saw like, Dam.... i hope she gets better and was like Awwwww
when dinky was sleeping beside her mother but when i read the next
part...well
Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4a49rXG8C1qlv6jf.gif
Wow, that was beautiful in a melancholy way. I love how you filtered it through a mind that doesn't know any better yet. It made it much more powerful and gave it a much more "Oh look ponies punched me in the gut" feeling. In short,
Image: http://chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-manly-tears.jpg
I was never this innocent, alas. I was watching the evening news by the age of 2 and began studying biology by age 3. I had a discussion about attempted assassination of President Reagan at age 6, and knew at once that everyone aboard the space shuttle Challenger had died when it exploded when I was 10. I never cried at funerals, for I could comprehend everything about life and death better than many adults. Those deaths I shed tears for are mainly those who've suffered at the hands of tyrants, or who died tragically at an early age while still holding so much promise.
I am logical. Rational. Stalwart. I do not cry lightly.
Still... you killed Derpy! 
WHY MUST EVERYONE TORMENT THESE POOR PONIES SO MUCH?!
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