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Comma-Kazie

Joined December 2011
621 followers

I'm Comma-Kazie; grammarian, nitpicker, and all-around master of feels.

Sequels

  • Changes
    After Ditzy Doo passes away, care for her children falls to her old friend, Rainbow Dash.

    26,101 words · 9,641 views · 1,208 likes · 20 dislikes
  • When Goodbye Comes Too Soon
    As her battle with cancer draws to a close, Ditzy Doo spends her final days with the ponies closest to her. There is so much for her to say to her friends and family--so much in so little time that she might miss something she needs to say.

    6,418 words · 1,644 views · 179 likes · 10 dislikes

Stories (8)

Blog Posts (86)

Source

Not everything is as it seems when Dinky visits her mother in the hospital.

Connected to Chengar Qordath's "Saying Goodbye"

Now a dramatic reading! Courtesy of Lisa M.

Part 1

Part 2

First Published
16th Jun 2012
Last Modified
16th Jun 2012

Comments ( 221 )

#1 · 117w, 3d ago · · ·

The cover image has been edited and is used with permission--you can find the original here.

#2 · 117w, 3d ago · · ·

:derpytongue2: Dinky's innocence counters everything.

#3 · 117w, 2d ago · 4 · ·

Quite enjoyed this collaboration of ours. Well, except for all the horribly depressing things we put our favorite ponies through.

#6 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

That was... Beautifully depressing. Simply...Beautiful.

Now, If you'd excuse me, I'm gonna cry myself to sleep.

#7 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

Oh... my... :fluttercry:

#8 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

.....

I have no words for how sad this is

#9 · 117w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

the only thing that makes it sadder is that dinky does'nt know whats going on:fluttercry:

[img]tumblr_luet2db5UJ1qdens1[/img]

#10 · 117w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

Got me some aller-geez right here.

#11 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

I think it was better the way it ended than actually finishing it.

#12 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

The fact that this was done from the perspective of a little innocent filly...

It made this so much sadder.

#13 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

>>757690 >>758733 That was my thought process when I was writing this. Writing from Dinky's perspective was a little harder than I thought it would be.

>>758590 Glad to hear you think so!

#14 · 117w, 3h ago · · ·

I didn't want to read this because I hate sad fics, and yet here I am.

That was beautiful, but now I'm :fluttercry:

Now, what's weird is I thought it was not less sad because Dinky didn't know what was going on, but more bearable.  Like, on one side, the reader isn't being banged over the head with so much sadness it physically hurts.  This way, the sadness seeps in like a slow fire and then at the ends it's just BOOM if you didn't have aller-jeez before, you surely have them now.

#15 · 116w, 6d ago · · ·

Oh noe. This is beautiful. My eyes. :fluttercry: This is amazing writing. This made me as sad as My Little Dashie. Well and truly, this is magnificent. And just how sad you made it through DInky's eye's is... oh god. :fluttercry:

#16 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

My alergeez are really bothering me after reading this,:fluttercry::pinkiesad2::fluttershysad::raritydespair: Poor derpy

#17 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

And a manly tear was shed that day...:fluttercry:

#18 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

D=>

Ohhh... I'm sad now. You don't get it, do you Dinky? :(

Beautiful work, dude.

#19 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

oh celestia i can only imagine the heartache when they finally tell dinky that her mommy isn't going to be waking up:raritycry:

#20 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh no my aller-jeez are back! :raritycry:

This truly is a great story and you should be proud. :fluttercry:

#21 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Only Two Words "Manly Tears":pinkiesad2:

#22 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Ever since we saw that pony ridden with cancer in "Read it and Weep" we all then knew they could suffer like we did. What's gonna make it harder is to tell Dinky the truth that her mother isn't going to wake up. . .

#23 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

oh god, you've gone and made me start crying :fluttercry:

#24 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Saw the cover art and now I must abandon ship

though I'll thumbs it up because everyone else says it's good so it probably is. I'm just one for sad stories.

#25 · 116w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

i think some tiny part of my heart is dying. what is this salty mess leaking from my visuals?

Cynewulf
Story Approver
#26 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

It was sad, it was sad, it was...

"Mommy's sleeping."

Bam, right in the gut. Wow. What a way to end it. GREAT work, man, great.

I was reminded of that part of As I Lay Dying where Dewey Dell goes to see the doctor in town and she's so totally clueless and it just breaks your heart.

#27 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

:fluttercry: No more words than that.

#28 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Dude...this is the second time I have cried over some fanfiction this month...I read My Little Dashie for the first time ever this month...but man...so sad...no manly tears...emotional sad tears of "awwwww man"... very well written...

#29 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

I've just been punched through my heart ;___; :fluttercry:

#30 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh gosh why? :fluttercry:

This was a very good story, very well written.

#31 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh lord...

This is on par with "bubbles"... In terms of sad, as well as skill... Good job.

#32 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

damn...     I'm sad now.

#33 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

is it strange that i'm not so much sad as frustrated that you killed off derpy?

#34 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

:derpytongue2:

#35 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

This is one of the most beautiful and heartwrenching stories I have ever read. I applaud you on your ability to craft such a moving tale.

#37 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Sadness level reaching My Little Dashie levels

Manly Tears approaching

:fluttercry:

#38 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

and so the tears fall as I recall the tradgetie that was once called my life

Without the ones that we love to be strong for us what do we have?

And how their memories bring us tears. how can we accept loss and go on?

Maybe we just need to realise that such things happen and there is no way we can change it.

but the tears still fall.

#39 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

>>785894 I'm glad you think so--Derpy's point of view in Bubbles was what I was trying to recapture in this.

>>785985 >>785411 Thank you!

>>785940 Yah, I killed Derpy for a spot on Equestria Daily. In hindsight, that was kind of heartless. Oh well.

#40 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

>>786226

Yeah, I kind of got the innocent feeling of Bubbles while reading this.

But just.... gosh. :fluttercry: Dinky's innocence makes the whole thing even more sad.

Fabulous job.

#41 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

I cried, totally not ashamed of it. Excellent work.

#42 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

I need more tear buckets.:fluttercry:

#43 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Awesome work dude, you really captured Dinky's innocence extremely well. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got something in my eye I should wash out...

#44 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh..... my god.

This hit me hard. I lost my own mom about 6  years ago. I'm 26 now, but  I still really miss her.

Mind if I do a reading of this and put it on yt? I'd like as many people as possible to know this story.

#45 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Jeezus Chriminy, that's some serious naivete going on there! I mean, even when she was up close, she still... oh god, so cruel you are describing these things through the filter of a child's innocence. It just makes it more saddening!

Luckily I had some perky Touhou music playing as I read this, otherwise I'd be feeling really down. But still, my mouth was all :pinkiegasp: when Dinky "snuggled up." It's reassuring that such innocence still exists in the world, but even so, dang. Way to stick it to us, without sticking it to her. In summation, well done:twilightsmile:

#46 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Yeaaaah, I'm going to save this for when I have the energy to deal with the downer of emotions. From what everyone says it's excellent but...oh god my heart.

#47 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

>>786614 By all means, I would be ecstatic if you did so. Please send me the link, I'd love to hear it!

In addition . . . I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

#48 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Ooooookay.... feel free to dismiss everything I'm about to say as the words of a heartless bastard but...

What really hurts me about this story is how everypony's lying to Dinky. I absolutely hate this kind of sheltering of children. Dinky should've been told, early on, that her mom will not get better and that she will die. It would have been painful but much better in the long term. I think people get so caught up in protecting children that they forget that children deserve respect, and that means the truth.

I have known about death as far back as my memories go. I always knew that my parents would die; I always knew that I would die someday. It was never a taboo subject; never a mystery. It actually confused me when I talked to some of my friends at that age and they had very bizarre ideas that I knew were wrong; I thought they were stupid but I now realize they were just sheltered.

And though I was sad when I, as a child, experienced loved ones dying, I was able to deal with it because I knew very well what was happening. Should I ever have children of my own, I will tell them the truth, always.

#49 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

I feel the need to compose a track for this fic alone.

#50 · 116w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh sweet merciful *&^%@ that's the most heartbreaking story EVER. I want to hug Dinky soooooo badly right now!

I like how you had Rainbow Dash be in charge of taking care of the girls....I felt like she and Derpy had some sort of friendship going on, considering how they interacted in "The Last Roundup" Dash didn't actually nearly as annoyed or angry as she would've/could've been otherwise.

But this....is just so amazingly and horrifically sad. I lost my little brother to cancer a year and a half ago. You really created the right atmosphere and tension, it as a lot like this really.

Props.

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