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As Cloud Kicker faces the imminent death of a close friend, she struggles to accept the inevitability of death, find some way to bring a small bit of happiness to her friend's final hours, and finally ... say goodbye.
Connected to Comma-Kazie's From the Mouths of Fillies
>>756211>>756291 Eh... all due to respect? I mean, it was well it was just... 
Well, From the Mouths of Fillies was just an emotional punch to the gut. It made me feel. It made me want to go to my mom and give her a big hug.
But... this... I dunno man, I felt like it just wasn't there. Also, the romantic bit with Derpy was just... wierd. Especially since she died like immedietly right after.
Nice job to both of you, but the star goes to Comma.
Why would you want to kill derpy? She was strange but in the movies her heart was pure. She reminds me of Minty from a very minty Christmas. If you don't know the movie is on YouTube. Just type the title above and you'll see what I mean. This story made me cry a little bit because a version of the same thing happened with my grandfather and my family. We went to visit him and he died a couple hours later. We were hit pretty hard with this news and another time I had s friend die and I wasn't there to say goodbye. This hurt me because the next time I saw him was at the viewing. I am not a very emotional person but things like these seem to hurt me moreso than other people I have met.
Yeah, taking my writing outside of it's usual was part of the appeal. That, putting Cloud Kicker into a very different type of situation from what we see in Winning Pony. Taking a character outside of their normal comfort zone is always an interesting experience. There were actually one or two times during the writing process where Cloud Kicker said/did something I hadn't expected and I had stop and think about why she would do that. It added some new dimensions to the character.
Kinda have to agree that Comma's half of the collaboration hits a bit harder: A child losing her mom is naturally going to be a lot more painful than Cloud Kicker losing what amounts to a Friend with Benefits.
Well, this was... weird. 
Maybe I'm not versed enough in the fanon... is Derpy and CC a common pairing?
So, they had sex? I get you were trying to be subtle and keep a PG rating but the way you danced around the subject was... strange.
It was well-written but rather than being sad, I'm really not sure how to feel. I guess I don't find the pairing, or the characters, or the situation very believable. From a technical perspective it's a good story, but it just didn't move me.
Rather touching, and in a way, its so easy to miss something. CK stayed prettymuch in char for the char you have built around her, wich I found rather nice. She wanted to give Derpy something, and the only thing she could think of that would be from her, that Derpy would be able to take with her, was love and a momant of pleasure. Suprised the nurse alowed it, but, I understand why CK would do that.
This story just raped my emotions. Literally. This story tied me to a table, forcefed me lemonade, then clamped my urethra shut. I don't even know why. I guess it take me back to that same emotional place I was when I wrote the earlier chapters of Let the Bass Ring. I mean, just that one chapter was hard for me to write. I could read the comments on it, but I never knew how they felt until now. Just like Alyeskabird said, you managed to keep CK in character while she was going through such an emotional rapefest. (That's the best term I can think of atm) It kind of shows CK's strong personality that you've exhibited her having through Life and Times, which by the way I love. I give this five fluttercries out of five.
Saying goodbye. Why is it sad? Makes us remember the good times we've had...
You made me cry and though that's not as rare as it use to be, it still is very special. Cloudkicker dealt with this the only way she knew how and it was something very special. Those who are saying this was inappropriate don't grasp the full scope of what any relationship can be. It wasn't fun reading this. Instead, it was slow plod to an inevitable end, but the sun was setting in the late evening and the apple petals were falling. It was peaceful and sweet. It felt real. This was Cloudkicker, and that was Derpy Whooves. Although I cannot say I could bear to have this as the cannon, a bit of play and well done is always welcome. I thank you, and I am looking forward to the next chapter of "The Life and Times of a Winning Pony."
Have to say I found this really touching. (and I'm out of long texts for today) Especially the intimate part, while it's something I think not many seem to consider, I personally think it'd be something many would appreciate at such time and while it was beautifully censored at the right time, I can just imagine what was done, and that it was likely one of the few, or ever times CC didn't get "anything" back, or even wanted it. And also, that she actually beat Dinky was a nice "tactical touch". If she's only always win with little effort, it'd be a bit boring for most children. So yeah, combined, these two did a really good work.
It was good, except the whole 'one last bang' thing. It seemed really out of place, and it would have been far more dramatic and emotional and all if Cloud Kicker had taken the thing seriously, as more of a 'sex is my thing but this is more important' than 'This is a serious situation. I'll have sex with a dying mare.'
Nothing better than you are already using, I am afraid. I have done some searching, but Cloud Kicker just isn't a pony to be sad. The best sad pic of her I could find was the one you are already using for the sequel.
In hindsight, my previous comment sounds more blunt than it is polite (or intended). I apologize.
This story made me hurt inside. It was a really well thought out, really well done story. And they way you ended it made me so sad that I just died a little inside. It was excellently worded, greatly phrased, and I actually couldn't find a single spelling error! I really like stories like this, they keep the reader into the story, leading them for a ride of E-motions. See what I did there? Anyways, great story, keep up the good work!
For the most part, I was able to read through this just fine. The couple of lines alluding to the storyline of Life and Times have a bit of a punch to them, but nothing to get worked up over. Then I got to the last sentence. Those two words, combined with having read 'From the Mouths of Fillies' and 'The life and Times' stories, they were a complete kick to the emotional pills.
Good work to both you and Comma, and I'd like to recommend that anyone reading this story reads the other ones first. Then you'll get a feel for what it truly is.
idk about you... but now that just makes me awkward where Dinky is sitting when he mom died when comme-K wrote. Then again it depends where one imagine where the filly is sitting...
the banging thing, my opinion of Derpy wouldn't even have the strength to do it. So why would she even want to bother, not to mention it felt very out of place.
all and all it was okay :)
just awkward, I like the beginning more.
It took me this long to finally read this, and I have to say it hit and hurt. If you haven't lost someone - however distant - you can't write it properly.
If you haven't, then your empathy dial is set to 11 and broken off, 'cause you can't to this properly any other way. 
Me 'at's off ta ya, Guv. 
Ewww. (Borderline) necrophilia. 
(Banging someone in the I.C. Unit in a hospice ward is 5/6ths the way there).
The story was touching, but the whole sex bit at the end really ruined the whole thing. It really felt jarring and contrived. Sex would be the last thing on my mind if I was in the I.C.U. with my significant other as he was breathing his last. 
I like the idea of the physical contact and intimacy in the final moments, but IMHO sex was totally the wrong way to do it. Maybe if she instead cradled Derpy in her forehooves like foal? That way you get the tender feels without the squicky 'ick' factor.
Oh well. c'est la vie (c'est la mort?)
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the romance stuff was a bit awkward.... "I'm here to give you one last bang, okay"..... just a little bit wierd
To think I held off reading this because I couldn't bare to read Derpy dying.... 
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