• Member Since 21st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen February 6th

Eakin


T

There are many wonderful, exciting and heartwarming stories to be told in the Winningverse.

This isn't one of them.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 127 )

This is the single best parody of the entire Winningverse wrapped up into one. I've been laughing my ass off since the first paragraph, and now that I've finished I'm still laughing. I just--I can't--

"I think this makes forty seven," replied Derpy, "the doctors say they've never seen anything like it. It's as if some higher power gets some kind sick pleasure from watching me wither away in the most tragic fashion possible."

You brilliant little devil, you. I love this so much.

I liked this so much, when I clicked the thumbs up button, it went from one to three!

i.imgur.com/QrnPt.gif

Dinky looked up at Cloud Kicker, her eyes full of wonder and foalhood innocence. “Screw you. I’m adorable, bitch.”

Best line. Absolute genius, good sir.

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2645871
Thank you both, I'll consider that a formal endorsement and stick this in the submit queue. It languished in a half completed state since February until the imminent end of CK month inspired me to get off my butt and finish it.

I hope none of the other authors having a bit of fun poked at them take this the wrong way. I like all of their work, and the teasing comes from a loving place.

Okay, I enjoyed this massively. Dinky's utter cuteness and Blossomforth's innuendo issues were especially great.

2645886

At the risk of sounding like a rude demander (and if I do, I apologize), I'd love to see more. There's so many more characters to go through!

Regardless, very nice work. I couldn't see any offense directed at anyone, just parody, and that's just fine.

This was absolutely hilarious. So many hilarious lines throughout.

Now if you don't mind, I need to go back to writing about Twilight's sexual frustration, issues with her mother and family, and shameless fanservice.

“I don’t have any mother issues,” said Twilight.
“Twilight, this is the Winningverse. Of course you do,” said Cloud Kicker.

Very nearly woke up the household snickering at this, although I was laughing my ass off from square one. Dear god, you continue to cement yourself in my brain as a magnificent genius.

:rainbowlaugh: Oh my good gracious that was hilarious, I was actually laughing loud enough my neighbors yelled at me.:twilightblush:

... Pfft.... :rainbowlaugh:BWAHAHAHAHA.
That is all.

... I lie.
Well done. You managed to write something so... strange, that I forgot about pointing out errors like I usually do. Not necessarily a bad thing. But...2645967 puts it pretty well.

Oh my, this was fabulous :rainbowlaugh:
Absolutely hilarious throughout, but Blossomforth's innuendo problems had me laughing far too hard.

You magnificent bastard.

D'A

are you god

When I saw Eakin has written something for the Winningverse, I knew that it would be good. I wasn't quite prepared for the level of emotional bruising this fic left me with, but it was certainly funny.

but rather because, and I really cannot overemphasize this, he was a rock.

:rainbowlaugh:

Thanks, Eakin! :twilightsmile:

this is cannon

I got the test results back from the doctor this morning and... I have cancer.

All I could think of was this:

Welp, I'm faving this.

Blossom doing the dirty talk when CK is serious :facehoof:

But yeah, nice parody.

ICN

I knew this would be good after reading the title, and you didn't disappoint. Except for the whole grammar thing, that made my eyes bleed, but other than that it was good stuff.

Rainbow Dash, the captain of the local weather team and her filly friend Pinkie Pie, a baker from Sugar Cube Corner.

Comma after team.

had turned back to her favorite subject; herself

Colon, not semicolon.

Oh no, what if my coming to the park disturbed the blades of grass, and sometime next month somepony slips and falls on it.

What if you had used a question mark there?

can get our cuties marks in killin’ a runnin’ gag by repeatin’ it over and over and over again until it isn’t funny any more,

You went for 'killin'' and 'runnin'', but not ain't?

asked Dinky bouncing in place with excitement.

Comma after Dinky

Blossomforth raised an eyebrow, “Oh, I get it

Either that's the second most expressive eyebrow I've ever seen, or it's actually an action tag and should have a period instead of a comma.

Blossomforth blushed, “Geez Cloud Kicker,

Same as before.

Right she was staring straight down at the pages of her spellbook

Right now.

she just gave up on whatever she’d planning to say.

Been planning.

She wrapped Blossomforth in her magic and lifted her bodily off the ground floating upside down as she began to walk back towards her library.

While 'bodily off the ground/floating upside down' could make for some great song lyrics, something about it sounds wrong to me here.

but she'd stuck with her regular mail route trying to earn enough bits to support her girls and turned down all the offers

Are you ok? You seem a bit tense.

"I think this makes forty seven," replied Derpy,

Hyphen for forty-seven, and period after Derpy.

even all forty seven

I'm worried that this will turn into some sort of meta joke based on how many times you forget this.

Since Derpy had first been diagnosed Cloud Kicker had been reading anything about the diseases that she could lay her hooves on.

Comma after diagnosed.

asked Cloud Kicker not sure of what else she could say.

Comma after Kicker.

she said wracking her brain trying to find something to say that would lift Derpy's spirits, "the

You could use some commas in there or something. Except for that last one, which should be a period.

Princess Celestia herself descending from the heavens

Decended.

While it's true that with my power I could end almost all suffering, death, and pain in Equestria the consequences

Comma after Equestria.

of tracks do you thing they are?

I'm thinking you got the wrong word.

Even though she had seen Derpy die already seeing it happen again

Comma after already.

I'm reasonably certain of all of that, but feel free to ask for the reasoning if you disagree. Anyways, it was a funny story. I do enjoy silly comedies.

Words cannot describe how happy I am to see one of my favourite authors parody one of my OTHER favourite authors. And it's HILARIOUS. Thank you Eakin, you never disappoint :)

This was marvelous. I love you even more now.

I am seriously laughing my ass off. I don't know if you know how good you are at Comedy.

puretravel.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Angkor-Wat-is-a-12th-century-Hindu-Temple-Complex-in-Cambodia.jpg

What the everloving meta-dimensional brainbend did I just subject my frontal lobes to?

I feel lost, amused and confused. I think I need an adult, some headache medicine and The Doctor. Right after the laughter subsides.

The Fluttershy Effect. You fucking genius. And good lord, Blossomforth's about-face cracked me up like a nut.

...Hang on, this doesn't fit. Rainbow Dash was napping!

“Because it’s true! You have more issues than the entire back catalogue of the Foal Free Press and you’re basically dating one of your mothers.

There! Someone said it!
Thank you Tom. Without you, these keen psychological insights would not be possible.
What a hero!

And without his unique viewpoint, we wouldn't know that Fluttershy is actually the root of all evil in the world. Basically being a startling combination of the pony devil, and pony Hitler.

Nor, without his perception and clarity, would we know of the medical revolution of the discovery of stage five ultrametastasizing cancer. Where the cancer actually spreads back through time, and across dimensional barriers. Possibly contagiously. It truly shines a light on the heart-wrenching plight of Derpy, who survived as long only through dogged, single-mother perseverance, the fact that her cancer was slowed by the fact that the tumors got their own cancer, and the deadly effects of ionizing cutiation poisoning, from Dinky.

All in all, it was a heartfelt spiritual journey, following in the geological footsteps of those that suffer the tragically-oft-unrecognized plight of being seriously life-impaired. I cried, a little.

FiMFiction Sad/Tragedy story of the year.

Now, back to the fiction-mines with you, Eakin, and don't come back without digging out a motherlode of You Can Fight Fate. Seriously, who let you out of your chains anyway?

Even though she had seen Derpy die already seeing it happen again from a slightly different perspective was exactly as heartrendingly painful as before. One might think that she would have been at least a little desensitized to it, but no.

Derpy's going to move to South Park and start giving Kenny a run for his money. I think she might have wing cancer confused with leprosy, though.

This is perhaps the best summary of the Winningverse I have ever read.

The Derpy cancer thing was written in a style reminding me a bit of Wiseauan tragedy-drama-thingie genre. :derpyderp1:

2645886

if they take offense to this just tell them that this story got someone to read THEIR stories. at lease as far as i know, i'm fairly sure i'm a winningverse noob so i'm gonna get started on it soon/now-ish

I don't think I've read a single "winningverse" story, but I LOVE to watch cheap emotional ploys get lampooned.

also; Tom rocks.

Simply brilliant! I made the mistake of reading this at work, it took much effort to not laugh out loud and disturb the office.

Tom was not shocked, as he was an exceptionally well-grounded individual.

This was my favorite line. Dunno why, but I just died at this. :rainbowlaugh: (Also the last lines of the fic, but Tom was just too funny not to quote.)

Even though I've only read like 3 stories in the Winningverse, this was just hilarious!

Question: is this one of the funniest thing ever?
Answer:

2645871Well when I liked it it when from 100 to 105

2647122Trust me the winning verse is not a Cheap emotional ploy. start here then read this then read the side stories, all of the stories that are titled "the incredibly *adjective* *noun* of *pony*" or "the *noun* of a Winning *title*" are either part of the winning verse or an alternate continuity there of. there is also a story called whats in a name that is also part of the winning verse, and their is the alternate continuity called the dead
Derpy verse, were Derpy develops a disease that I have dubbed dramatic cancer and dies. this is what the 47 cancers was lampooning. all of the winning verse stories, the non cannon side stories, and the alternate continuity of sadness can be found in the Cloud Kicker fan club. Please join, if we get a thousand members, Pinkie will throw us a Pizza Party:pinkiehappy:

I've only read two Winningverse stories, the Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash and the non-canon changeling one, and I still found this hilarious.
Either I just love metafiction, or there aren't enough random comedies that are truly comedic out there. Or both!
My only thought is that Pinkie should've said 'soapy-on-a-ropey'.

Love it.

Wonderful as always.

2645886
No offense taken here, this was great. Seconding JJ's interest in seeing more if you ever decide to revisit Tom's non-adventures.

“No! There is absolutely no double meaning to this sentence,” said Cloud Kicker.

“Yeah, I bet you’d like to ‘double my meaning,’ perv.”

Cloud Kicker sighed but turned to a unicorn who had been reading on a nearby park bench throughout this entire exchange. Right she was staring straight down at the pages of her spellbook, blushing furiously.

“Twilight, back me up here, will you?”

“Of course I haven’t been thinking about licking peanutbutter off of Blossomforth while I wear a nurse’s uniform,” said Twilight.

This is where I completely lost my shit.:rainbowlaugh:

:derpyderp1:I have no words. I'll get back to you when my brain un-dumbs (I hope).

I don't like it

I love it

Hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

Everything Tom describes.. he's such a genius :twilightsmile:

Dinky looked up at Cloud Kicker, her eyes full of wonder and foalhood innocence. “Screw you. I’m adorable, bitch.”

Best filly, ladies and gentlemen. All shall hnnnng and despair.

Also, I'm pretty sure with that much malignant biomass, Derpy has become the next Deadpool.

Fantastic parody. Thank you for this. I'd thank Tom too, but, as has been noted several times, he has no capacity for appreciation of gratitude or anything else, being a rock.

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I'm not averse to doing more later on, but I might have harvested most of the low hanging fruit already. I'd rather leave you all wanting more than produce a sub par follow up for its own sake.

2646150
I dunno... needs more cyanobacteria.

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No, but if you want to start a cult devoted to worshiping me I'd be down with that.

2646255
You're welcome!

2646409
Yeesh, that's what I get for doing my proofreading at two in the morning. I've been feeling like I use too many commas in my writing recently, but I may have purged them a bit too enthusiastically. Thanks for spotting the problems, I went back and fixed them.

2646615
The first three or four years of writing for pleasure I did was in sketch comedy, so it's an area I'm pretty comfortable and familiar with.

2646805
Nooo not the story mines again!

2647722

I can respect that. It can be easy to milk a joke until the cow of comedy is run dry. Whatever you decide to do, keep on keeping on.

2647722 Everything needs more cyanobacteria... :raritywink:

But this was delightful even while lacking our miraculous microscopic friend.
Also, Cyanobacteria with mommy issues? A huge turn-off

2646286
No, this is cannon.

2647722 nah I've got too many cults to run but I'll put you on the que

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