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I Just Want a Comment15,714 stories ·3,673 members

My Friend Scootaloo

Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo have always been as close as can be. They keep no secrets. But is there something there, something important, that Sweetie Bell won't admit to herself?

Chapters (3)

Prologue · 5th Apr 2016 · 757 words
757
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Rainbow Dash · 5th Apr 2016 · 423 words
423
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Cheerilee · 11th Apr 2016 · 1,267 words
1,267
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Comments ( 4 )

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RaylanKrios

RaylanKrios #1 · Apr 6th, 2016 · 1 · · Rainbow Dash ·

I have to say your twist is kinda obvious.

BellChime

BellChime #2 · Apr 7th, 2016 · · · Rainbow Dash ·

EverfreePony

EverfreePony #3 · Dec 26th, 2016 · · · Prologue ·

Nice! Can be an interesting ride!
You surely know how to write the characters and descriptions well, so we know what's going on as if we were there.
However, when you step on the thin ice of longer sentences, you tend to write them overly long, mashing together all the information. Try to split them Be aware that the part where DT thinks Sweetie is talking to her is slightly confusing.
Also, it's 'Belle'
I'll read more later today