- Member Since 27th Mar, 2016
- offline last seen Yesterday
Brony4Ever1992
I am a man from Massachusetts who graduated on June 9, 2011. I have been a brony since 2014 and I hope you enjoy my stories.
Brony4Ever1992
Joined 27th Mar, 2016 ·
Offline
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Brony4Ever1992 · 47k words · 79 12 · 1.9k views
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I hope you know that you don't have to have a picture on every single story you post. Especially when the picture you use for every single story doesn't work with most of them.
7070024 But MERICA is everywhere!
7070108
And so is Derpy, apparently.
7070152 She's going to free the shit out of you.
7070155
That can be read in multiple ways. Should I prepare myself?
7070024 I'll remember that in the future. Thanks.
7070158
No.Yes.Why not both?7070211
Fantastic.
I must ask you, the author of this piece, something. Is there by any chance if the wording errors are part of the story as maybe, indicating the reader's insanity? For example, you wrote that "A small came to Twilight's face," when maybe, you could've wrote 'smile' instead. Don't worry, I thought it might be a great story idea too; confusing the reader with wording errors, possibly relating with the sleep deprived Twilight with the piece.
Care to elaborate on the plot synopsis?
7123427 What do you mean?
7123429 Well (now don't get me wrong, this story sounds good) the plot synopsis is rather short. I'd like to know more about what happens in this story.
7153779 Um, okay. In the Season 3 premier, Twilight used dark magic to find the room hidden under the throne in the Crystal Empire. However, it had adverse side effects and now her mental condition is slowly eroding. The others try to help Twilight while a mysterious yet familiar voice begins talking to Twilight.
Let's see.. your English is terrible, grammar is terrible but the story itself? Not bad!
Lots of potential. But can easily be ruined by bad writing. Very disappointing.
7153792 Now you should put that synopsis in the actual synopsis for the story. I'm not 100% sure, but I think you can edit it.
7238314 You are correct and I did that. Thanks.
come to the dark side we have cookies
You jumped the gun on the 'master' shtick.
7302424 How so?
7302838 really? how? she would most likely consider him a pony to turn to before he actually gets to the teaching dark magic part and all.
7302865 Everypony though he was dead after being shattered to pieces by the Crystal Heart plus Twilight was corrupted by dark magic. I think the next chapter might help change your mind.
OH SNAP
7302893 mayhaps... mayhaps.
Oh fuck.
Shit just got real. x10.
Can't wait for the next one.
I'm enjoying this.
7329085 Happy to hear that
7329238
Kule.
you need more descriptions for the setting.
Shits about to go down!
Though I noticed Celestia say, lower the moon? Didn't she mean lower the sun after you put in before she lowered the sun she helped herself to a piece of chocolate and?
I do wish that some of these scenes were longer and smoothed out rather than rushed every chapter.
Oh snap, its goin' down!
Here we go! Let the games begin!!
This chapter looks and feels rushed, multiple spelling and some grammar mistakes, over-all it was okay though.
This Fic is off the chain, I love it!!!
I really wish you wouldnt rush this story as fast as u have been doing.
Unless you're writing it and having readers have it flip like an episode.
Ill still follow. But take your time on these chapters. Theres just too much character interaction and not enough dialogue with the setting, mood and infrastructure of the story as a whole.
Oh god yes, SunLight!
Well that crush was quick. Oh well I'm always up for more Sunlight.
Also, why am I not surprised that Sombra plans to betray them?
.... You son of a
I wasn't aware "Dark Twilight" was a genre.
Eeey, i'm liking where this is going.
Could use some light editing noticed some word missing but not enough to ruin the flow its easy to get the right word in other then that interesting start
Missing something there this needs some editing still a good chapter but a good number of missing words
Well celastia that plan backfired
So wait is there a twilight ship in this story
Im so expecting twilight to trick them in to hitting the heart
Opps i think
Uhhhhhhh
Oh
Opps
Just started reading, I like it so far! are you going to make a sequel eventually?
8721159 Yes
Where’s the chapter at