Chapter 34
The cart was getting full and Sumac had very little room left for himself. Not everything here was pickled, some things were canned. Canned things came in a glass jar. Shouldn’t they be called jarred? Sumac wasn’t sure, but he suspected that something was wrong with the world. So many of the names were screwed up.
Barrels of pickled eggs, jars of pickled okra, vegetables in jars, jars of jam and fruit preserves, everything was stuff that would last, and there was a lot of it. Looking at it all, Sumac got the strange feeling that perhaps, something was amiss… or maybe, ponies just liked to plan ahead.
Ahead of him, there was a massive glass jar of pickled kumquats that had little pink things floating in amongst the orange blobs. He wasn’t sure if he found it appetising or not. The jar was so big that Sumac could have fit himself inside of it, and even screwed on the lid. He shivered when he thought about a pickled pony, left inside of a jar for forever.
As he sat in the cart, shivering, he realised that had a pretty good idea for a story. A tragic maternal figure, a mother that lost her foal, who wanted to keep other little foals safe, secure, and happy forever. So she would pickle them and leave them in jars, preserving them forever. His skin crawled as he thought about it, and when he could take the macabre thoughts no more, he shoved them from his mind. His spine tingled as he sat there blinking, creeped out by his own morbid story idea.
Or, he could write about the pickle seller… a pony that sold pickled foals to an ogre… perfectly pickled pony foals, crunchy and delicious. He imagined the lip smacking and the slurping and how the ogre would lick its chops... Sumac felt the fine hairs of his back standing up and once more, he made himself stop thinking about creepy writing ideas. He was going to give himself bad dreams again if he kept this up.
He turned his head to say something to Trixie, but the words never came out because a pickle went in. Not just any pickle… for a moment, Sumac was worried that he would swallow his face. He writhed and shuddered in the cart, his mouth going dry as sand and then flooding with saliva. The hinge of his jaw ached and he struggled to deal with the pickle that Trixie had slipped him.
“Oh, he’s all puckered up!”
Then, horror of horrors, Trixie, his mother, kissed him right on the lips. In public. Mortified, reeling from the super sour pickle that threatened to make his face implode, Sumac sunk down into the cart, his ears burning, and his face ablaze with embarrassment. Sumac was certain that it was, indeed, possible to die from embarrassment, and he was pretty sure that he was about to do so at any second. Ponies had seen! He was sure of it! Full lip on lip action, the worst thing in the world, even worse than getting a bath.
Crunching up the briny gherkin in his mouth, Sumac glowered at Trixie, who shook with laughter. Ears drooping, his muzzle wrinkled and crinkled from puckering, Sumac did his best to glare at the mare who had raised him, protected him, and looked after his every need.
“He’s so adorable when he’s like this… you’re right Trixie, he really is like a grumpy old stallion trapped in the body of a colt. Look at him! We should pinch his cheeks!”
Lemon Hearts’ words made Sumac’s ears blaze with so much ferocious heat that it hurt, it actually hurt. His gherkin chewed, he swallowed, then turning his head, he turned his grumpy stare upon Lemon Hearts, and gave her a good glowering.
“I’ve never seen such an adorable grumpy face… it makes my lemony little heart hurt! It’s killing me!” Lemon Hearts began to laugh so hard that it caused the cart to shake. Glass jars and barrels clunked and clinked together as her tail wagged with laughter. She turned away, her sides hitching as she guffawed. “Oh my little lemony heart!”
“When he was still a yearling, he had a grumpy scowl that could scare off a bugbear,” Trixie said.
Having recovered himself a bit, Sumac protested his situation. “I did not!”
“You most certainly did!” Trixie’s sides heaved as she struggled for air and she chortled.
Sumac’s ears stuck out ramrod straight from the sides of his head. Even Boomer seemed to be laughing at him. He let out a resigned sigh, hating that his dignity was being whacked upon like a piñata. He sat in the cart and plotted terrible revenge. He knew what he would do… he would eat a whole mess of pickled eggs, and then get all cuddly… no, no, that would never do. That would involve cuddling with the enemy. He rested his front hooves on the side of the wooden cart and stewed in his own juices.
Or pickled, as the case may be.
The strong scent of brine filled the house. Lemon Hearts and Trixie moved about the kitchen, putting things away. There was a lot of food brought home from the Ponyville Pickle Palace. The cupboards grew crowded, the shelves were stocked, and the tiny nook of a pantry was filled. Very little, if anything, required refrigeration.
“There we go… just in case there are hard times,” Lemon Hearts said.
“Hard times?” Sumac asked from where he was sitting on the couch.
“Yes. Just in case there are hard times. Try not to worry, Sumac. Twilight protects Ponyville. It just never hurts to be prepared, that’s all.”
Something about her words didn’t sit well with Sumac. It sounded as though there was some big grown up problem that was being kept from him. He hated that. He hated being made to feel like a foal. Even though he was a foal. He was a smart foal and he wanted to understand things.
“What’s this about hard times?” Sumac asked again.
“Sumac”—as Lemon Hearts spoke, she lifted up an orange from the fruit bowl—“did you ever learn why oranges are called the fruits of friendship?”
“No.” The colts eyes narrowed behind his glasses. He knew when a distraction was being offered. He was curious however, and allowed himself to be distracted.
“Oranges have peels. It is quite difficult for an earth pony or a pegasus pony to peel an orange. The orange pith is quite bitter and it is hard to peel it with your mouth. Unicorns can peel an orange in seconds.”
“Yeah we can.” The distraction worked. Sumac pondered the ease with which he could peel an orange.
“As the story goes, one day, a pegasus pony and a unicorn pony, both of whom were guards, were having lunch together.” Lemon Hearts smiled and her ears stood up, attentive and twitchy. “And the pegasus pony asked the unicorn pony to peel his orange for him.”
“I see…”
“And the unicorn replied, ‘Sure, what are friends for?’ And so, he peeled the pegasus pony’s orange for him. It seemed that Princess Celestia heard about the story, no doubt somepony told her about the camaraderie among her guards, and she had the pegasus pony and the unicorn pony brought before her.”
The distraction worked a little too well. Sumac was now brimming with curiousity about this subject. He loved history and oral traditions. He listened with rapt attention, no longer thinking about the looming threat of hard times.
“Princess Celestia was impressed by their friendship. This was way back in the day when tribal unity was still new and all of the little kinks were being ironed out. Unicorns were still pretty persnickety about doing things for others, even though their magic made so many of life’s tasks so much easier. Princess Celestia was impressed that a unicorn would do such a mundane task for a friend.”
“Oh… neat.”
“She declared that oranges were the fruit of friendship and this story has been told ever since.” Lemon Hearts smiled at Sumac. “So… Sumac, you should totally peel an orange for Pebble, or any of your friends who aren’t unicorns. It’s easy for us, and it really is no trouble.”
“Okay.” Sumac nodded. It seemed reasonable. He had learned how to apply his telekinesis better by peeling oranges and bananas, when Trixie could afford them or trade labour for them. Lemon Hearts was peering at him in a most peculiar way.
“Unity is very important right now,” Lemon Hearts said in a low voice. “We have to stick together. We are strongest when we are together. There are no hard times that friendship cannot overcome.” The lemony mare smiled. “Hey, Trixie, want to stick to me?”
After a moment’s pause, Lemon Hearts turned as red as a tomato. “I mean, stick together with me!” She spent a moment blabbering in a wordless manner, growing redder and redder.
Looking at Trixie, Sumac saw that her face was red too. She had a strange look upon her face. Both mares were flustered, and all because of a little flub. Mares were silly creatures, and Sumac didn’t even pretend to understand them.
The dark sacred night was full of stars. Sumac longed to be in the cemetery on a night like this. It wasn’t dark or spooky, no, it was quiet, pleasant, and wonderful. He could pull weeds in the moonlight, he could sit and have a good think, he could just have the quiet time that he so desperately needed.
Looking out the window, Sumac stared up at Luna’s moon. He found that he much prefered the lesser light of the night. It didn’t sting or strain his eyes. He watched the stars twinkle and thought about them being such precious things. The stars in the sky were much like the stars of the silver screen. They didn’t work, they didn’t toil, they did nothing but be stared at, admired, watched from afar.
It was not a life that Sumac wanted. He didn’t know what he wanted. He thought about being an inventor, or a great wizard, or a great wizard inventor. He knew that he had the right stuff to do it. He understood that he was far more magical than the average unicorn. He was like Trixie, who knew a dizzying number of spells, where most unicorns were content to learn a few.
His potential was like the night sky, endless and without boundaries.
A crash from outside distracted him from his reverie. Turning his head, he saw that Trixie was so startled that she had almost dropped her glass of icewater. Her eyes were narrowed and flinty looking. The glass was set down upon the table and Trixie got up. Following her example, Lemon Hearts did as well.
As the two mares headed for the back door, Sumac hobbled along, his horn glowing, ready to zap whatever was lurking outside.
“Don’t you move, or I’ll summon Twilight,” Trixie said in a flat voice that meant business.
“There is a spell that can summon a Twilight Sparkle?” a voice replied.
“We’re screwed if that’s true,” another voice said.
It was dark and it was hard to see the details of the ponies. Sumac sat down in the grass that was damp with the nighttime dew so he could relieve the pressure on his front legs. One of the ponies was trying to help another pony pull what appeared to be a clay flower pot off of his hoof.
“Who are you and what are you doing?” Trixie demanded.
“We were trying to avoid being seen,” one of the ponies replied.
“You there, behind the fence, come out or I’ll give ya such a zapping—” Lemon Hearts’ words trailed off as a massive draconic pegasus stepped out from behind the fence. She stood there with her mouth hanging open.
And beside her, Trixie began backing up as she said, “Oh… oh, we’re sorry… we would have only zapped you just a little… just to defend ourselves. We didn’t know that this was Warden business.”
“Hush? A Warden?” One of the ponies, an earth pony, began laughing.
“Hush, stop scarifying the ladies. They’s good lookin’.”
“I beg your pardon?” Confused and a bit bewildered, Trixie shook her head as Lemon Hearts pressed up against her. “Who are you?”
“We can still summon a Twilight Sparkle,” Lemon Hearts said in the most threatening voice she could muster, which wasn’t very scary at all. Lemon Hearts was far too sweet.
“Hang on fellas, I gots this!” A dark pegasus stumbled forwards, a flowerpot still stuck on his hoof. “I am Gosling the Incredibly Handsome.” The pegasus’ words were somewhat slurred. “Hotspur and Hush are my loyal royal guards… and Seville… well, Seville, he’s my buddy!”
“And just what are you doing, running about in the dark and acting like loons?” Trixie demanded.
The pegasus’ ears drooped from the scolding. “I had no say in the matter, Ma’am.”
“What?” Trixie took one very aggressive step forwards.
“She’s cute when she’s angry,” the other pegasus said in a thick Broncs accent.
“Shut up, Hotspur, you’ll get us turned into toads or something!” Gosling gave Trixie a wide supplicating grin.
“You shut up, Your Royal Pain in the Plot… both of those mares is smokin’!”
Trixie’s stony face held no expression. “Explain yourselves at once, or face the wrath of a freshly summoned Twilight Sparkle.”
Sumac just wanted to know what was going on, so he waited and watched. This was kind of funny, all things considered. The pegasus with the flowerpot stuck on his hoof was a smooth one. But the older pegasus… the other pegasus… Sumac was certain that if that older pegasus flirted with his mother one more time, just one more time, Sumac was going to have to zap him.
“We foalnapped the future prince on Princess Luna’s orders,” the older pegasus explained. We were supposed to show him a good time. Throw a bachelour party. In secret. Somehow.” The pegasus hiccupped. “No going to clubs though. So we came to Ponyville for an adventure!”
“You brought the future prince here, of all places, without adequate protection?” Trixie’s jaw muscles clenched.
“We have protection,” the earth pony replied. “We has a Hush.”
“Gosling stepped in a flowerpot that somepony left out by the back fence.” The older pegasus stepped forwards. “Hey, ladies, my name is Hotspur. And yous, yous is good lookin’.”
“Hey, Hotspur, I’d lay off the sweet talk,” Gosling said to his companion, “I think the little colt right there is about to let you have it for flirting with his mom. Moms?”
Both mares blushed a dusky red in the dark night.
“Ladies, my apologies, we’ve had a few drinks,” Gosling said in an apologetic voice. “We honestly just wanted something to do. It’s been stressful, with everything that’s going on. Hotspur had this stupid idea that if we wandered around, we’d find a party to crash, but nopony is partying here in Ponyville.”
“No, most of us are quiet, decent sorts.” Trixie’s eyebrow arched.
“Ladies—”
“Mister, flirt with my mother just one more time,” Sumac warned, “just one more time… I dare you.”
Hotspur grinned, his wings flapped at his sides, and he looked over at Sumac. “Yous got a future in the guard… yous is brave.”
“We can’t have you stumbling around Ponyville in the dark,” Lemon Hearts said to the four stallions. Her lips pursed as she thought about what to do. “We could light a campfire in the back yard and make s'mores.”
“Hey, that sounds kinda nice, actually.” Gosling turned to Hotspur. “You’d better behave yourself, ya mug!”
“I love s’mores.” Seville had a hopeful look upon his face.
“Flirt with my mother and I’ll stuff a burning hot s’more right down your ear hole.”
Trixie turned to look at her colt. “Sumac—”
“I mean it, I will.” Sumac scowled at the older pegasus.
“Hey, he’s got guts… I like this kid.” Hotspur’s wings twitched at his sides. “We could use more like him in the guard. That’s right kid, don’t take no crap from nopony! Even me, heh heh heh!”
“Hey, you broads is real nice for putting up with our shenanigans. That’s real nice of yous.” Gosling bowed his head. “I’m gonna make sure that yous nice broads get some extra special wedding invitations. The good seats. To make up for my friend here, who’s a mug, for us just kind of stumbling through your backyard. And for yous nice ladies offering to be nice to us.”
“And for not summoning a Twilight Sparkle,” Seville added.
Lemon Hearts began to snicker and Trixie chuckled as well.
“The future prince is a mug—”
Whirling about, Trixie shouted, “Sumac, don’t talk like a hoodlum!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.046 seconds
Total duration
622 users online
1,005,005 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
GOSLING!!!
Woooo
This makes me extremely happy.
About bloody time.
Was wondering when they would show up.
Ponyville residents are stocking up on supplies for the tough time ahead. I wouldn't be surprised if the richer families in town like Silver Spoons family and Filthy Rich already have an emergency food supply in case of any kind of emergency and them being willing to share. Only thing is Filthy Rich would have a hard time doing so as I am sure he'd want to share it all for free, being the awesome guy he is while, if he is still married to Spoiled Bitch, his wife would want to bleed the entire town dry.
An ogre that's into pickling? My Everquest nostalgia...
static.giantbomb.com/uploads/scale_small/0/1992/1826792-boomba.png
(Boomba was in the middle of the newbie area for Freeport and (in)famous for selling pickled everything, intelligent races included.)
Long engagement. Might not be much partying but they certainly found someplace to get drunk
Somehow, I'm not satisfied with this chapter. Maybe because it's filler, but there's nothing after it. I think lil' filler chapters should be double-posted with other chapters. Then again, this is a new character introduction. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ah, Gosling. The character from the story I don't read. I read the first one though.
I see puckering made it into PTSS though, albeit without a chapter name... I am glad anyway.
7452805
There is continuity in this chapter. It connects to other stories and goings on in this verse.
Plus, the wedding is a big deal.
Woohoo! I've been waiting for Gosling!
Ah, now things are falling into place. Weddingwise, I mean.
Those four are hilarious together.
A hoodlum ?
Sumac the smirkin jerk n with a gherkin!
My little sour pickle ...
7452733
What are the hard times ahead?
7452753 oh man memories!!!! They need another hard core mmo like Everquest before Sony watered it down.
And I see where this connects to your other stories... Poor Sumack having to deal with his mother being a mare.
i can see it now
PC: Luna! Gosling is missing!!!
PL: I know sister, I had him kidnapped.
7452945
Well... Mister Mariner in the other fic just recently had hundreds of thousands is not millions of ponies evicted from the homes, fired from their palces of work, had power plants shut down, telegraph lines stopped, ect, and is pretty much causing chaos in Equestria, and not the kind Discord would enjoy. It is safe to say there will likely be no outside goods coming into Ponyville or any other small communities for a long while. That means whatever food supplies the smaller communities have on hand right now is all they'll have.
Probably won't be long until groups of ponies who aren't from the communities probably try attacking them for whatever food and such they have, especially Equalists. Ponyville will be fine with the number of badasses it has to look after it. Rock Haven should theoretically be fine because of Maud and Tarnished possibly being there. but other places will be much worse off.
Yeah. This universe is a series of stories linked together, and the dookie has been impacting the impellers in the other ones, which has been having nationwide impacts. Ponies are hunkering down for the storm, as it were.
7453100
PC: (stomps hoof) But I wanted to do that!
PL: Patience, dear sister. You can kidnap him next year.
7453217 Gonna be honest, it always hurts my interest in a story when I have to read a parallel story to know what's going on. It always sorta strikes me as a cheap way to drum up readership when that other story, whichever one it may be, wasn't the one that caught my eye, this one was. Maybe I'd be inclined to go read the other stuff one this one finished and I wanted more, but knowing that I have to do research to know what's going on in the story is distracting and takes me out of it.
7453272
This is part of a vast interconnected universe. You don't have to read the other stories, but it helps.
Sumac has his own little bubble of existence, just as other characters do.
7453263
*Le Laugh*
Oh, Sumac just wait until you're older. Maybe you'll see Pebble or Olive.
What's a mug?
Mother of all Crossovers !!!!
We have protection,” the earth pony replied. “We has a Hush.”
Somehow I feel that this statement is a direct descendant of " I don't need a gun, I got a Dunk"
Oh, this is GLORIOUS!
Sumac's quip at the end is perfect!
were
Behold! The timelines intersect!
7453728
I thought it was a reference to,
"We have an army."
"We gave a Hulk."
1) Get a coffee
2) Print "Such Mug" on the side
3) ???
4) Possibly get bludgeoned for bad puns
Ahhh. Well, certain pickled preparations make a bit more sense, then.
Gosling and crew? Oh man, that accelerates the timeline, unless this simply wasn't covered in Romance of Swans or something like that. Speaking of hard times...
I'm not sure I believe Gosling's explanation of accidental coincidence in the slightest. We've theorized in detail about how much trouble Sumac's ability might cause in the wrong hands, and now that everything is apparently moving sideways a guard squad that just happens to stumble into his second-mother-in-progress' back yard? And then decides to stick around just because?
What's with you and having sons feeling insulted about stallions flirting with their mothers? I mean, Sleet has every right to fall in love with a stallion, like that one Sargent who flirted with her in that other story (besides, Gosling would potentially gain a step-father in doing so).
That popped up 4 times. How many Twilights are there?
Also, GOSLING!!!!
You know, my friend and I have written versions of this, but never this exact gem. Now if you excuse me..I am going to add some more detail. Thanks!
I hope not, I mean it would be very useful, and the Map does a good version of it, but still, that's a bit of a dues ex machina, don't you think?
Oh good, they realize. Hate for things to get painful.
7453145 *snicker*
The thought of some poor group trying to attack *snicker* Ponyville, of all places. 
Sorry, but short of an army or being some form of Big Bad they are getting their plots handed to them!! (along with confetti, apples, and a lot of friendship)
Just sending Muffins (Derpy/Ditzy) to deliver a letter would do damage! 
I think gosling needs his own school too you can call it the gosling School for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too
8160573
Zoolander reference spotted. You receive a free duck face look.
.....That's actually a good story idea.