• Published 13th Mar 2016
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Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals - kudzuhaiku



Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals is the place to go for friendship studies.

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Chapter 14

Hunched over his breakfast, Sumac thought about the big day he was about to have. He was well rested; new beds had been purchased, soft, comfortable beds that were so much better than the thin mattresses they slept on in the wagon. He was still clean from yesterday. He had new bookbags, a new coat, and a pen and pencil box.

Just as he got a spoonful of granola to his lips, a long purple tongue zipped down and snatched the largest nugget. Sumac said nothing and showed no reaction—he just dipped his spoon into his bowl again. He was a little worried about having Boomer in school with him, but Twilight insisted that Boomer be brought with him to school.

As he raised his spoon again, there was another burst of purple and more granola was stolen. This time, Sumac giggled. His giggling caused Trixie and Lemon Hearts, who were also eating breakfast, to start giggling.

“She’s going to be like your annoying baby sister,” Lemon Hearts said to Sumac.

Sumac shrugged, looked thoughtful for a moment, and scooped up more granola. “She’s not annoying.” He shook his head and then looked up, trying to see the hatchling perched upon his horn.

“How goes the poop collection?” Trixie asked.

“I have some saved up in a big metal coffee can. She’s already figured out not to burn them. She waits for me to pick them up.” Sumac managed to get the spoon into his mouth this time and he crunched down upon his somewhat soggy granola. He nommed his food a few times, swallowed, and then continued, “She doesn’t make a mess in the house, either. She’ll start tugging on my ears and trying to let me know she needs to go. She’s smart.”

“Of course she is. Spike is just about as smart as Twilight when he puts his mind to things. It’s getting Spike to focus that is the real trick. Twilight thinks that dragons think differently than ponies do. Different thought processes.” Lemon Hearts set down her spoon upon the table and lifted her bowl so she could drink the milk that was left over. “A different way of thinking.”

“Isn’t a brain just a brain?” Sumac, who had his curiousity aroused, took another bite and never took his eyes off of Lemon Hearts.

“Different biology. Different creatures. Ponies are carbon based lifeforms, while dragons are sulfur based lifeforms. While both have brains, they are very different. From what little I know, dragons have more advanced memories and memory retrieval. Ponies have situational awareness and advanced sensory awareness, it is the reason why we have such large eyes for our size. We survived, evolved, and adapted because our situational awareness and sensory awareness kept us alive and kept us alert against predators.”

“And the big dragons didn’t have predators, so their brains grew differently,” Sumac said.

“Correct.” Lemon Hearts looked pleased as she began to drink the milk out of her bowl.

“Since dragons live for such a long time, it became important for them to keep track of all the stuff they know, the stuff they remember.” Sumac scooped up more granola, gobbled it, and was thoughtful as he chewed.

Lemon Hearts nodded as she continued to drink, while Trixie just looked proud and impressed. Sumac, feeling good about himself, was rather looking forwards to school, but he was also scared, nervous, and apprehensive. He knew going into this that he was facing what Trixie called an uphill challenge. Sumac had a wagon to tow and a long hill ahead of him. He was smart, that much was certain, but he was a little behind in his placement scores. His reading was fine, but his other practical educational skills were lacking, such as arithmetic. He did well in geography, but his writing skills left a little to be desired.

After setting her bowl down upon the table, Lemon Hearts said, “Today is a half day. School will let out at noon. So if you are having trouble, just make it through the morning and everything will be okay.”

“Alright,” Sumac replied around a mouthful of granola, dribbling a little milk down his chin as he spoke.

“As for tomorrow…” Lemon Hearts paused for a moment and wiped her own face, then continued, “Twilight plans to run things a little differently. The mornings will be structured, traditional learning, while the afternoons will be a time of free learning. Students will be allowed to do as they please, within reason, and encouraged to find special talents, skills, and abilities. Many new cutie marks are expected.”

“Sumac is a little young to be worrying about that.” Trixie gave Lemon Hearts an apprehensive smile and then looked at Sumac. “No pressure, right Sumac?”

“Uh…” Sumac wasn’t sure how to reply. There was plenty of pressure.

“Cutie marks can happen at any time… yearlings get them, foals get them, and sometimes, ponies make it to adulthood before getting one.” Levitating a napkin, Lemon Hearts began wiping Sumac’s face.

“How does that happen?” Trixie asked, looking surprised.

“Oh, it just happened to somepony I know,” Lemon Hearts replied to Trixie, “a cousin, he went into the guard blank, not knowing what else to do with his life, and he had a helmet cutie mark within a week. He was meant to be in the guard.”

“Oh.” Trixie blinked a few times and shook her head. “I suppose there are a lot of things that a pony might not be exposed to until they are an adult. That must be traumatising not knowing what your purpose or your destiny is when everypony around you knows theirs.”

Shrugging, Lemon Hearts replied, “It happens.”

“We need to hurry up and get going.” Trixie pointed her hoof at Sumac. “Finish that up, kiddo, we need to go soon.”


Twilight’s castle loomed large, and somehow, it seemed far more intimidating today. So far, Trixie had kept her promise not to embarrass him in front of his schoolmates and Sumac was grateful. The colt stood at the base of the stairs and looked up. Others were already going up the stairs, all sizes, all ages, but Sumac spotted a few ponies that were about his age. Lemon Hearts stood beside him, and he felt a gentle nudge to get him moving.

There was no sign of Pebble. This would be a lot easier with Pebble. Sumac didn’t know why, but it would. He gulped, his mouth feeling dry, and wondered where she was. Sumac did fine around adults, but for whatever reason, he froze up around foals his own age.

A couple of the students were crying. That was awful and Sumac couldn’t think of much that could be more embarrassing than crying on the first day of school. Hearing a commotion, he turned his head, ignoring Lemon Hearts’ gentle nudge, and saw that not all students were going along in a quiet, calm fashion.

Some resisted.

He saw a pony he knew, Gloomy, and poor Gloomy had her work cut out for her. The pegasus mare was having to drag Silver Lining along the ground, and the little griffoness cub dug her claws in and pleaded with her mother, begging to be let go. Sumac swallowed and felt another nudge against his backside, but he did not respond. Stiff legged, he remained rooted to the spot and refused to budge.

He was about to be trapped inside of a castle with Olive…

At that moment of profound realisation, Sumac wanted to go home. Or better still, hit the road, leave Ponyville, and never return. He began to wonder how many foals resisted going to school because of Olive. Probably all of them. She was that bad. Sumac shuddered and then let out a yelp of shock as he was dragged along by Lemon Hearts. Trixie had vanished, no doubt so she could check in for work. Sumac’s lower lip protruded in a pout as he was pulled along in Lemon Hearts’ magic.

“Mama, nooooooo!” Silver Lining wailed as she too, was dragged to her doom.

Hanging from Sumac’s horn, Boomer let out a sleepy snort of protest at all of the commotion around her. How was a baby dragon supposed to get any sleep with all of this hubbub? She let out a frustrated honk and then curled into a ball around Sumac’s horn, hiding her head inside of her flight membranes.

Knowing that he was about to be dragged up the stairs, Sumac decided that he didn’t want to be embarrassed or shamed. Cringing, he made his own way up the stairs and felt Lemon Hearts let go of him. Silver Lining’s plaintive wails echoed in his ears, and he could hear Gloomy’s grunting.

Somepony was going to have a rough first day of school.


Stepping into the classroom, Sumac saw Pebble. He felt relief go flooding through him and he hurried over to where she was sitting. He sat down beside her, claiming a pillow that was hexagonal, bright yellow, and covered in little blue squares. A part of him wanted to hug Pebble, he was that relieved to see her, but he kept his hugs to himself and behaved.

There were a bunch of foals that Sumac didn’t know. The classroom wasn’t too full, it wasn’t very large, and it didn’t look like any other classroom that Sumac had ever seen. There were no desks, but there was a blackboard and a lectern.

The door to the classroom opened and Gloomy dragged Silver Lining into the classroom. The griffoness cub was silent now, wide eyed, terrified, she was frozen with fear and made no effort to resist. Sumac watched as Gloomy sat down in the corner on a cushion and pulled the cub close, trying to comfort her. The need to hug Pebble, to find some comfort, grew stronger.

There was a collective gasp as Twilight appeared in the doorway. She was wearing her reading glasses and her mane was drawn up into a schoolmarm’s bun. Using her wing, she nudged a skittish looking unicorn colt forwards and into the classroom.

“Go on, Cinnamon, it’ll be fine,” Twilight said to the colt.

The colt bolted for the door and Twilight caught him. Nopony laughed. There wasn’t even a single giggle. Just silence. The tension in the room made it difficult for Sumac to breathe. Sumac’s shallow breathing somehow made all of the sounds in the room stand out in sharp contrast. He could hear the breathing of his fellow students. The rustle of bookbags. He could hear the poor colt’s hooves scraping over the floor as Twilight wrangled him.

“Go and sit with her,” Twilight said in a low, soothing whisper as she pointed at Gloomy. “She’ll help… Gloomy is a good sort when she isn’t making it rain on ponies.” Twilight gave the pegasus in the corner a wry smile as Gloomy patted the cushion beside her, while holding on to Silver Lining with her other foreleg.

Sumac stopped breathing for a moment as he waited to see what the poor colt would do. He watched as Twilight gave him another nudge, and then, Cinnamon, the skittish colt, he took off with deliberate slowness towards Gloomy. Sumac sucked in some air and sighed with relief.

Twilight stepped through the door and vanished.


“Hello class, my name is Lemon Hearts, and I am going to be one of your teachers. I understand that some of you are having a hard time, so we’re going to take this slow and we’re all going to be quiet and we’ll get through this together.” The lemony yellow mare smiled at her class.

She sat down upon a cushion, joining the almost circle shape that the students had formed, and gave Gloomy a little nod of support before she continued, “All of you are new to this program. Today, we’re going to have some question and answer time and we’re not going to worry about schoolwork stuff. Does anypony have any questions?”

Pebble raised her hoof.

“Pebble, you may ask your question,” Lemon Hearts said, acknowledging the filly.

“Why am I here?” Pebble asked. “I can’t learn anything here in this class. I’ve already completed the primary school curriculum. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to accomplish here.”

“Pebble, you are here not as a student, but as a teacher,” Lemon Hearts replied.

“I don’t follow, Miss Hearts.” Pebble stared at her teacher and waited.

“Your friend, Sumac, he had non-traditional schooling. He needs some help catching up. Twilight wanted you to learn by teaching. You’re going to get Sumac all caught up.”

Pebble sat still for a moment, and then the most horrible thing happened. The most awful, horrible, hideous thing happened. She smiled. But she didn’t smile like other foals, no, her smile was the most terrifying thing that Sumac had ever seen. Pebble smiled like a cragodile. The corners of her mouth pulled back, revealing perfect square teeth, and a strange gleam filled Pebble’s eyes.

Sumac whimpered and wanted his mama. He didn’t like this at all.

So Pebble could show emotions, she could react if the right situation presented itself. Sumac wished that he was somewhere far, far away. Sumac shivered, turned away from Pebble, and looked at Lemon Hearts as he raised his foreleg.

“I need to go potty!” Sumac blurted out, and without waiting for permission, he took off lickety split, his hooves clattering over the floor. In moments, he was gone, leaving behind a room full of bewildered, confused classmates.

Author's Note:

The horror, the horror...

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