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Apple Bloom, like we all feel at some point in our lives, feels alone in the world.
Twilight, the Princess of Friendship, is doing everything she can to fit that title.
So when Twilight finds Apple Bloom crying at the base of a tree, she makes sure to be exactly the friend Apple Bloom needs. Unfortunately, Apple Bloom gets a little too attached.
Warning: Contains moments of extreme feels. You have been warned
Requested by: Brony250
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Unbelievable! Better than I can imagine.
Plus you left it for a possible sequel. If you are interested in a sequel let me know unless you have one in mind already?
I am interested in writing a sequel if you want one.
That was really fun to write!
7004264 Do you have an idea for a sequel?
This is an excellent concept, and you did do a good job of showing the kind of isolation someone like Applebloom might feel in this situation, I know that kind of feeling due to having grown up with a bit of social isolation myself, so good on you for bringing attention to this kind of situation.
I also didn't notice any glaring faults so good on you there.
That said, if I had one major complaint, it would be the pacing. Applebloom's change and obsession felt a little too sudden, yeah Twilight found her during a socially isolated point, but a day later and she's pushing her friends and family aside for her? I felt it might have been better if she'd been hanging out with Twilight for a week or two before everyone came back, to sort of push the attachment angle a bit more. As a result the whole thing comes off as kinda rushed to be honest :/
I would like to see a sequel to this as well, I could honestly see it going in a few interesting directions, we're probably not on the same mindset but a sequel could be really interesting nonetheless.
Overall, nice job.
7004295 Not really. I know that whatever I do I want to expand on Scootaloo flying. The poor filly has been through enough already.
7004304 Thanks for your input! I'm sorry that it was rushed, it's a bad habit of mine whenever I'm excited to write something.
What would you be interested in seeing sequel wise?
7004323
I'm pretty terrible on pacing myself to be honest.
Just what I would advise is this, take your time in thinking it out next time, ask, "Does it seem likely something could happen in this short a time span?"
And as for a sequel I could see one going a few places:
-Applebloom using her alchemy to make a potion to 'remind' Twilight that she is her beloved mama
-Applebloom going yandere and 'taking care of' everything getting in the way of her and Twilight time (probably to dark :p)
-A conversation with Applejack about role models, and alone time, and how being left alone isn't a sign someone doesn't care
-or just some stories about AB stalking Twilight could be funny.
I just realized another small criticism, by the time she's gotten her Cutie Mark, Applebloom has kind of matured to a point where I don't think this issue would bother her that much, might have benefited from setting it before she got the mark, but not a deal breaker overall, like I said, I still enjoyed the story
7004330 All of those ideas are great! I'll get to working on the sequel as soon as I've posted the finishing chapters of my other story.
7004339
best of luck to ya.
This story's interesting! Can you do a sequel please?
7004344 Thanks!
7004346 As soon as I've typed up the finishing chapters on my other story then I'll write that sequel! Is there anything in particular you want to see in it?
7004363
Well, I am interested more about how Apple Bloom is affected by her family's past, so you could write something about that if you want.
I want more!!!
I sure hope there's a sequel to this. It would be interesting for this to see this investigated a little further.
My only concern, other than the pacing thing some of the past commenters stated, the ending felt almost cliff-hanger-esque in the sense that a 'sequel' should probably be another chapter, but I'll respect your decision as a writer and hope to see the sequel when you get the chance to put it up.
7004938
7004898
Thanks! I honestly didn't realize how much of a cliffhanger the ending was. I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
7007496 Thanks! I'd love to expand on this!
*she
The thought of AB going yandere fills me with dread.
I think such topic can't really fit in a 2500 words story... This felt, to me, too fast paced and rushed, which decreased the feels' effect...
And AB waving Scootaloo's achievement like this felt exaggerated, to me.
But I am sure you can do great if you take more time for longer, tempered paced and deeper chapters.
Please write a sequel !
AMAZING STORY! LOVED IT! SO SWEET!
7864977 You're so sweet.
I think there couldve been more to this story then just leaving it like u did but its still a good story ok but maybe add some more chapters to it like have twilight think more about what Applebloom was feeling towards her
8002376 I have said many times that this needs work. It's even in the description. I was overly eager. I'm sorry.
I can understand this i am working on three stories of my own well are my own but one is a side story to a story named hopes and shadows all three have oc in it and the two that are my own the main character i have drawn for years if u want maybe i can give u ideas it's up to u ok
8002678 I'd honestly like to forget about this story until I have the confidence to re-write it.
I understand sorry for bothering u about this story
8005804 You haven't, it's okay.
Well when u need ideas when u do start this one up again u can always ask
8006137 Alrighty. I'll keep you in mind.
Really nice story ☺️
A sequel would awesome ☺️