Equestria is one of the most varied places in the world, where no city looks like the other. Every place here is almost alive, with a personality of its own. Be it a city, a town, or a nature’s reservation, you’re sure to find a history behind it that will shape every one there.
The fantastical land of Equestria, home of magic and technology beyond imagination.
However, something sinister is plotting to destroy the peace the Regal Sisters have maintained for over a thousand years. Only their faithful students, Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon, can stop the shadow of war from eclipsing Equestria… and maybe the entire world.
Co-written with VampDash as part of The Mechaverse Project.
Chapters (1)
While the idea is sound, the story has several pacing issues, it doesn't really move clearly for me. Not only that, but most folks wont know whats the difference between the different mechs shown here thus far, least of all the difference between the normal mook mechs and the Gundams.''
I'd suggest seeing if anyone could be an editor for this, but its otherwise well done. I look forward to this.
finally got this one out did ya
6873978
Yeah, I had a similar feeling after releasing this one. To be honest, prologues aren't my strength, but when I realized this project was about to have four years old, I decided to just do the jump already. I am more confident about the actual Chapters, since those have less to introduce and more to develop.
Anyways, thanks for reading and for the constructive criticism. I'll post an "editor wanted" in the group's forum and see who steps ahead for the task.
6874006
It had to happen... eventually.
I agree that the pacing could be better, maybe draw out the scenes a bit more to make it less confusing. It moved just a bit too fast to keep track. Other than that, I like it. The setting is very interesting. I hope that later chapters will focus on how the changes to the setting affect day to day life in more subtle ways. You know, infrastructure and transportation and supporting technologies and so on.
6875252
Yeah, totally. As I said before, I was kinda lost on how to do a proper introduction but it needed to happen already. I apologize the rush was too soon. In fact, right here and now, I promise the actual chapters will be more consistent and coherent when it comes to setting and pacing.
Why is this on hiatus after only one chapter?
8041905
Because a lot of stuff happened IRL after publishing the first chapter and I've been unable to update ver since.
Very sorry for it.
https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/Locations
https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Locations