When Applejack goes on a trip, Rarity and Sweetie Belle move in to help the Apples out on their farm. However, Rarity finds herself falling for a certain red stallion along the way.
[Cover art by NightlightSapphire]
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 17th Jan, 2016
- offline last seen Sep 22nd, 2018
Nickel Alloy
(Previously RuneSpell) I write a lot of depressing stuff. Be warned.
Nickel Alloy
Joined 17th Jan, 2016 ·
Offline
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It's ok. :)
I shall most definitely be keeping an eye on this. Haven't seen RariMac before, and I'm excited to see how this is done! The writing is good, AJ's got a good reason to leave, Rarity's character is perfect, and all in all, I'm enjoying this story. Keep it up!
6986142 Thanks! You do a heck of a better job with encouragement than my English teacher.
6987276
Hehe, I know how that is.
"This paper was perfect except for a few things."
*Hands a page full of red markings from a pen.*
6987292 Yeah. "You can make this better by basically scrapping everything and rewriting it my way."
Well, taken as a whole it's a pretty good start. Though getting to the start seemed very contrived.
Twilight and Rainbow have helped out around the farm before. Hell, in the show, they've both helped out with Applebuck season and Cider season. I don't think the concept of 'knock apples out of trees, feed chickens, grab chicken eggs and sell stuff' would be so alien a concept to them that their heads would explode.
I would've made Rarity more a last resort because everyone else was busy...Wait what's Fluttershy doing? She's great with animals, so could handle the chickens. I guess I can't see her selling stuff or kicking things so there's that. Still, it's like she doesn't exsist or something.
What? So Applejack sprung this on Rarity, last minute, at 4-5 pm? What an inconsidorite arsehole! In fact, Rarity was busy with an order! I know she wants to visit her Great-Aunt Fugi as quickly as possible, but a two week stay would still take some planning. It might have been a litte decent to give Rarity a little warning is all I'm saying.
Aren't they in the Ponytones together? How could she possibly sing with someone who can't talk?
No Rarity, no it isn't. You've got the short end of the straw. There's plowing, maintainence work, planting, uprooting dead plants, making sure to keep pests away from their food (I don't think they'd actually kill larger animals. Insects, yeah, but not mice and rabbits), actually making products like jam, pies, fries and such, and that's just the tip of the ice-berg.
Again, I like the story. RariMac is a rarity, no pun intended, and they tend to be fairly good when I do find them. Sorry if I'm starting to sound like an English Teacher, I just like to nitpick sometimes.
I mean, change it if you want, or don't. Really, it's your story and I'm gonna follow cause I'm interested in where you're going with this.
Keep on keepin on!
6989097 Well, as much as I hate criticism (sometimes it ruins the day for an aspiring author), I have to say you give some pretty good tips. I'll take your thoughts into consideration and write my next chapter simultaneously.
6990648 Yeah. I tend to give constructive critism, or no critism at all. It's a philosophy I live by.
And, being honest, I neven even realized this was your first story. So it's really good, considering! My first story I've written is probably a lot worse.
For a first story it's great, though I do feel like it's moving kind of fast if Rarity is falling in love before the first day is even over. But maybe their time together in the Ponytones set the stage?
RD doing only what AJ says? That's a first.
Rarity is probably sickened by it now, but she should wear her purple/white outfit from Simple Ways. Mac probably wouldn't mind...
6991571 I think that's what I'm going after. My backstory is that Rarity's always had a bit of a crush on Big Mac, but she hasn't realized it until now. However, it's really hard to remember that readers of my story don't know that!
Help me out here. Do you know how to put an "Author's Note" at the beginning of a story, rather than the end?
6993786
I don't, but the AN doesn't always get read so mentioning it in the story would be best. Could just have Rarity think that 'she had always thought he was rather handsome' or similar around the end of the chapter.
6994654 Good idea! I'll play around with that and see what I get. Thanks for the tip!
I guess him being handsome didn't get his non-punctuality off the hook.
Has that chapter really been out since March 8th? I swear my Favorites never showed an update on it.
7078751 Yup, nope. Actually, I started this chapter on March 8th. I submitted it on March 27-28th. so yeah that's why your notifications didn't give you anything.
7217761 Thanks! I think that Big Mac and Rarity are shipped because they're total opposites, and I think that by being together they could learn a lot from each other.
Well Rares, you managed to harvest one tree before getting yourself hospitalized.
So on the plus side, Applejack will probably ask other ponies for help from now on.
You're lucky Mac that she's so fatigued. Telling anyone else that story so suddenly would leave them pretty restless for a while.
7490304
...
Ya know I had a great idea for my video review on this I think I'll star*Gets hit by bus mid sentence*
Wow that was.... Smooth?......
This is.... you really like your blind sightings don't you
7666718
XD. I can see why you think so. How else would I move along a story that seems to be going along the boring old romance route?
7667083 your not wrong and I enjoy this so far but be careful some might mistakes that for rushing and.
This is defiantly getting a video feature on my show.
Hope you haven't given up on the story. Interested to know how it turns out.
Dreadnought
I think your assessment is correct, and the fact that you used a weird, incredibly out of place scene in the last chapter, and are running with it competently proves that you have become a far better character writer.
This story is pretty good. I'm keeping my eyes on this one.
Ooo - a new chapter! Can't wait to read it. Thanks for keeping this story going!
Dreadnought