(Previously RuneSpell) I write a lot of depressing stuff. Be warned.
Celestia has gotten fed up of all the letters coming in, day by day-- or the citizens coming in to ask her-- about what she will and won't allow. How do you get rid of that?
It seems, by writing a long, long list that tells them what's what.
Rated T for slight mentions.
I am taking suggestions.
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Please write more.
This must make talking about necrosis in the medical community quite hard.
Godamnit Dr. Bright went to Equestria....
Really nice story. I hope to see more!
7485909
They will be used.
interesting
you are not allow to let loose parasprites or other matter of magical creatures into a populated area for "amusement purposes"
the moon isn't made of cheese so stop asking luna for slices of it
the rabbit season duck season is an inappropriate method of haggling
Musical numbers featuring 5 or more ponies must be planned ahead of time and the organizes must have proper permits
regardless of their attitude or likability your not allow to threaten animals with weapons in order to get them to do what you want
Princess Cadance doesn't have a room with extensive charts for shipping ponies with one another so stop sending her requests on information of "your one true love"
bushes and stray clouds are not to be used as restrooms
trying to shove rain clouds into the ground will not increase the speed of apple growth or juice yield
Here's one:
That's all I've got.
I hate to be 'that guy', but not enough to not make this comment... aren't list formats one of those that aren't allowed? First few are hillarious, though.... I'll chime in again once I read the whole thing.
7583897 don't worry, stories like this always fail miserably as being actual lists, which always knocks the humor value down significantly
Since you begged for feedback: Celestia's language in the above sounds a bit too informal. I know she stopped doing the thy thou thee we formality of her sister but "gotten"? Not sure that's a word. Evaluate maybe in place of figure out. Sounds more formal. Just thoughts.
7583908 Heh, true. I saw more non-listness as I read on.
7583917 Past participle of "To get", and it is used correctly, but in the occurrence in the Prologue where Celestia uses it in her address, it is a bit too informal.
7583908
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Is this a compliment or a criticism?
7584007 it's a criticism. A lot of these sorts of things, just phrase their ideas as they would be in conversations, rather than lists. Or they are things ponies must do instead of can't do. For example
Twilight, you cannot encourage other ponies to 'plead the fifth', because it does not exist here, is a phrase directed at one pony.
64. Musical numbers featuring 5 or more ponies must be planned ahead of time and the organizers must have proper permits
is something ponies have to do, an example of the second one.
7584042
I agree with your first point.
The second....I'm not going to follow.
Look, if you don't like the story, just say so, but I as the writer enjoy writing and sharing this.
You know I honestly thought this story would be much longer.
7584170 it's not that I dislike it, it's that I've seen hundreds of these things and they're never quite what's promised in the title. It's frustrating
7584202
Well, it's a work in progress.
May I ask why?
7584042 true true, to be honest i was mainly thinking up rules to put down :B
sweetness
Wait, what? Where did that even come from?
7584676
A, the fandom, and B, my imagination.
DAMMIT!!!
Can I play Pegasus Device instead?
7493791
Pinkie is no longer allowed more than 5 2 cup doses of cider per month.
Asking for declarations of war is not a civillian power and all requests as such will be ignored.
If you have a problem, bring it to your local guard office before contacting me. I have headaches enough.
The Wonderbolts are not hireable for a nude photo shoot. Please stop sending requests.
All requests pertaining to your town or otherwise should be sent to the town hall, not random ministries.
Proposals for moon lasers, planetary cannons, and other such weaponry being built in any area or Equestria must be discarded immediately.
The Neightional Inquirer is now illegal, as well as all literature of that type.
Requests to erect a border wall of any kind will be denied.
Requests for secession must be filled out with due process, and must cover area larger than 4000 sqm.
Need to add this to my Things
Skippy, I meanDr. Bright, I meanXCOM Operatives, I meanXCOM Operatives in Equestria, I meanPonies Are No Longer Allowed To Do list list