Vinyl scratch's musical project is at a standstill. She is lacking a fan base and ideas for new music. Than an idea strikes her, why not start a side project tell her musical block passes!
So with that she gathers up a few friends and gets to work setting up a new band!
Of course things dont always go according to plan, With The Doctor and Derpy always running off for some unknown reason and Octavia falling madly in love with a center somepony, vinyl is going to have a hard time even getting this idea off the ground
Chapters (2)
Seems like my writing life...
Incoherent descriptions make me not read stories.
A few things. First off, too rushed. Secondly, I saw several punctuation errors, and lastly, and I might be repeating myself, but there were punctuation errors everywhere. Oh yea, it needs more emotional text. I also had the same problem with my first fic, and I corrected it from there. For example.
Octavia who is still on the other side of the room says. "Most ponies would just ask for me to stop. But tell me, what do you need me for?"
Instead, you should type something like this.
Octavia, who was still on the other side of the room sighed. "You know, most ponies would just ask for me to stop. Please tell me, what do you need me for?" she said with a look of exasperation.
I am not questioning your way of writing, and this story has a lot of potential, but it needs a little bit more refinement.
I implore you to write more.