TheOriginalDash
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You had me at Band Camp.
Hell yes! Awesome so far!
2460033 Most people do seem to enjoy a good band camp story. I'm glad you like it so far.
2460133 Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
2460539 Thanks for reading another of my little tales. It means a lot.
Damn it Dash! Wish I knew this was coming! Oh, well, expect a in depth read from me later. Oh, AND WHERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OF BLUE EYES AND A BEAT?
2461894 Hey, sorry for not giving you a heads up. I just realized that I hadn't submitted the story here yet, so I made a small conversion, and posted it. Also, I think the next chapter of Blue eyes is up and running. If it's not, I'll go check, and fix it right away. Just because I love you.
2462473 No, I saw the chapter. I didn't look before I spoke. I will read it with haste and gusto.
great story love it
By this logic, I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you are of the female persuasion, am I wrong in my claim?
Nice job. It was a little confusing at first because I though I was following Octavia's perspective and had to re-read when I realised we were following Vinyl's perspective.
Also, you mentioned early in that Octavia had blue eyes, then you said violet. Correct that?
Good story, gonna go read the rest now
Edit - I noticed the names at the start of each chapter, assuming that's to show who we are following, maybe put it in italics? Or say "Vinyl's POV" Iunno, just an idea :D
Couple of small spelling errors. Nothing too huge. I believe that I saw a "was" in there that was supposed to be "ask". Iunno.
Nice chapter. Will you be doing each chapter from the others perspective? It's an interesting way to do things.
Good story. Looking forwards to more
I'm definitely liking this so far. The interactions between Vinyl and Octavia are very reminiscent of University Days, with Vinyl not knowing the limits of their relationship, and Octavia being all scandalized by the whole thing, and all.
That, and this whole story is god damn adorable.
This has the potential to go far, and I will follow you on this journey.
I just have one problem with this chapter. Scince Band Camp is like a over night feild trip the guys would not be aloud anyware near the girls cabbins. Atleast that was what my band camp is like. Having a guy just walking there would get him casterated by a band mom/dad. Of corce we broke the rules at night, Got to see your girl at night and break in the freash men, What betterway then a pantie rade when all the girls are in the shower.
So, whens the next chapter?
Ha! I love awkward situations like this. You've made an Entertaining chapter
2499970 You are the kind of reader that every author wants. I absolutely love your enthusiasm. Thank you.
2502807 Well, I do like myself a man, but sometimes I just don't understand why boys must be boys. Girls are definitely better company. Nothing against homosexuals, though. Love them to pieces.
2510630 Oh wow. Thanks for the help. I though I made it clear about the POV thing, but I guess not. Thanks for the other checks, too. Good job.
2531617 Thanks. University Days is one of my favorite stories, and even though I'm writing this story based off of some of my own memories, There's probably a little influence from there, too. May we follow this haphazard adventure together.
2534786 Well, at our camp, we were pretty much allowed to hang out whenever, as long as it was before curfew. Guys could go into girl's cabins if necessary, as long as there was an adult in the room.
2556507 Thanks. I do try. Awkward situations are my specialty, and a good tickle fight is necessary for every story, I think. Especially when taken the wrong way by a casual observer.
2583205You sir........think right! Boys are dicks, and what happens to us nice, sensible, kind, respectful guys? WE GET FRIEND-ZONED, because pretty girls love dicks........and not ours
Sorry ladies, but It's what I face. If you wish, vent feminist rage on my page.
Oh this is gold, I have a friend who's exactly like Vinyl
Also, is Time Turner(/Doctor Whooves) gonna be inportant or not?
2583543 I find myself saying that a lot, too. Why couldn't there be a third gender, one for all the sensible people out there?
2585545 Well, it depends on how the story plays out. Right now, it looks like he might be a teenaged version of himself, still trying to figure out his TARDIS and whatnot. So, in other words, I have no idea. Sorry, that's how I write most of my stories: completely on the fly , with no idea what I'm exactly doing.
2588304 Very true. I like your logic. Seems the only way to get rid of undesirables is genocide, but I don't advocate that. That's bad juju, my friend.
2594931 So, the whole thing is a contradiction, and a paradox. For even if you were to exterminate the individuals you used to perpetrate genocide, you would become an undesirable yourself. And then someone would kill you, thus becoming an undesirable. And ten someone would kill them, becoming undesirable. And etc. It's one long, never ending chain of violence.
2602342 Exactly. So, we just force all of the undesirables to scrub our toilets? That could work...
2602572 Yes it is. Oh well. I kinda like it.
Speaking of the French Revolution, guess who just had to write five pages on it for English class? This girl! Not. Fun.
I like it.
2602654 We're reading Madame Tussaud, for a "reader's journal." Basically, we have to write what we feel about each chapter, and point out the differences and similarities between the book and real life.
And personally, if I were Hippolyta, I wouldn't find that attractive, either.
2611652 Thanks. I can't believe you read it that fast. Wow. You are dedicated, my friend.
Five mustaches for you.
Soooo gooood
Keep up the good work.
2611663 I should thank you. I have four projects for school and if I didnt see the new chapter I would have broken my laptop. So thanks.
2611744 Wow. I hate projects, too. Teachers always seem to assign them at the exact same time.
2611737 Thanks, I'll try my best.
2611694 Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I apologize if it was a little short, but I just felt like that was the perfect ending for the chapter.
2611777 Yes, yes she is. Poor girl. She's trying so hard to maintain her aloofness and general non-perverted mindset. Too bad she met Vinyl. In high school. Oh dear, she's in quite a mess.
2611891 That's rather true, actually. Lol. But considering that it's rated teen, I don't think anybody's actually getting into that sort of stuff (even though Vinyl apparently tried to in the last couple of chapters). Poor Octy. I put her through so much.
I do honestly enjoy this story. You might want to start making the chapters a tad longer though. Stories as good as this deserve to be narrated in lengths.
GAH! ME NEED ROMANCE!
Lol
2611754 Yeah it sucks. But I'm out of school in a week. and i get out early starting friday.
:
No rape? 
damn
2534786 that one time at band camp
Can't wait for the next update :)
2650742 It will be out soon. I'm busy breaking writer's block.
Howdy!
I've been following this story since ya first posted it, and I've finally decided to post a comment :) so, without further waiting... I find this story adorably appealing! Seriously, I do. It's simple, yet intriguing. At first I wasn't sure if I loved it but this last chapter sealed the deal :) great work!
That said, I'm a writer who believes in the power of critique, however understand that not all writers like it so much. If ya want a short critique let me know, if no look forward to some more compliments next chapter :)
2663821 I would be more than happy for a critique, because I'm always looking to improve my stories fro the benefit of the readers. I 'm glad you've enjoyed it so much.
2667108
Awesome! Critique will come with the next chapter ;)
The last line is hilarious
Its so cute
Such a cute story.......akward, but cute........
Wait what happened three years ago
2728329 Thanks. The awkwardness is just something I write well. It's all part of being in high school, I guess. Teens are naturally the most awkward people on the planet.
Hmm. In this chapter it says "I'm Octavia. You can just call me Octavia..." in the last chapter is says "I'm Grace. You can call me Octavia..." Typo?
2757625 Point taken
2757900 The greastest greastestsex jokes are when somebody sets it up perfectly