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Well before Big Mac came to the Pie family rock farm, there was another pony who caught Marble Pie's eye. That pony was very different from Big Mac... and at the time, so was Marble Pie. But her oldest sister, Limestone, was there to watch and to worry.
Defensibly contains spoilers for S5E20, despite being set earlier in time than that episode. Cover picture by senseidezzy.
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Well written with great characterisation and I loved reading it.
Damn it, Trixie!
Reading through this, I was touched by all the wonderful characterizations that you wrote up. I liked Limestone and Marble and I even liked Pa and Ma Pie, even if their roles were limited.
Limestone made for an interesting choice to follow the narrative, as she's probably the most neutral party out of the available characters. She brings forth all the pros and cons of everypony's decisions, acting almost like a story narrator. But, she still makes her own decisions, for good or for ill. She's very relatable and for that she works perfectly.
Marble comes across as a little naive, but she still has her moments were she thinks ahead. Having her speak also breaks out her character more. Too bad that leads me to...
Trixie. Damn it, Trixie, why couldn't you have just let it go?!
I was hoping beyond hope that this would be an alternate universe, but that dashed against the rocks when Trixie saw the money. She was doing so good too, using her unique talents to shake things up for the Pies. She brought so much change that it's hard for me stay angry at her. It's this side of Trixie that I wish we got to see more often because she honestly has a soft heart under all the bluster. But, this is marked tragedy, so with all the good comes the bad, and Trixie's final betray not only cuts at the Pies, but for us readers, too. It's these complex swirl of emotions that make reading fanfiction worth it.
A wonderful job keeping continuity in a series that struggles to maintain it itself! I've got my fingers crossed that you may do a sequel down the line where we see how the Pies and Trixie turn out.
6589390 Thanks for the kind words! I don't disagree that Marble's more naive than she could be, but there are a couple things to consider there: she does acknowledge at the beginning the risk that Trixie might someday leave and break her heart, which is roughly what ends up happening, and also Limestone never really tells her anything. When Trixie talks about needing money and wanting revenge, she's talking to Limestone, not Marble. So the blame can be spread around a bit.
As for sequels, there are two! They're called Magic Duel and Hearthbreakers.
I prefer to see her as aroace as we all know she reproduces via the limestone cycle.
Get it?
Just me...? Ok...
Science jokes aside, this somehow managed to be adorable, tragic and touching all at the same time. I can think of one negative: it ended. But that's selfish of me. I give it three Marble marbles out of three.
It's nice to see us Aces getting some love too. (Metaphorically, that is.)
Clever episode-welding premise paired with your usual quality writing, and hardly anyone has read it? That's the tragedy here.
Really enjoyed this, especially the development of the Pie sisters.
(hi Violet)
That was great, I enjoyed it a lot.
As always, the best thing is the way you sell me on the characters. My favorite part was Pinkie's letter (this is exactly how she would write!), but Limestone and her sister too, and even Trixie.
I appreciate that the story is thoroughly anti-chliché. There are a lot of things which would have bothered me that weren't there (such as the pies following the father's suggestion and distancing themselves from everything Trixie-related), and nopony is stupid for the sake of the narrative. And... there's no villain. I love when that's the case. Well, I guess you could say Trixie is the villain, but given how horribly unfair she has in fact been treated, I hardly think that's fair (although, the implication is that Rarity and Applejack (and, to a lesser extent, Twilight) have been dumb and rude and caused a lot of damage and got away with it freely, but that's just boast busters canon...).
The thing which makes the least sense is that Trixie wants revenge exclusively on Twilight. This is also the show's fault, but you sort of made it worse, or at least called attention to it, by having Trixie not be an idiot.
The callbacks are neat. It often bothers me when writers do this (I may have said this before) because it's often not natural and breaks immersion, but you make it work.
Oh, and - maybe Trixie goes back to Marbel after Magic Duel? I guess the money is gone, but... maybe they can forgive her, given that she has helped to improve their lives, at least a bit? Even though I'd give most of the credit to Limestone.
6791721 Thank you! Can you highlight where you thought Trixie puts too much emphasis on Twilight? I did a quick word search and I don't think she ever so much as mentions Twilight's name, only "But you will not stop Trixie from taking her revenge on the world." The only one who seems to float Twilight as a possibility is Limestone, and she thinks of Snips and Snails first. But you've read it more recently, so there might be something I'm forgetting that's not showing up by word search...
6792088
Oh no, sorry, it's not in your story. I just meant, she only wants revenge on Twilight in Magic Duel, which doesn't make a lot of sense after reading your story (but also doesn't make a lot of sense anyway). So again, not your fault.
6793108 Oooooh, I see. Does she, though? She takes over all of Ponyville and treats everyone horribly, Snips and Snails included. I think you could reasonably say the reason she challenges Twilight to a duel is in order to get rid of her because she's the only real threat in town. Even to whatever extent she is targeting Twilight, she also claims to have her mind influenced by the amulet, which might well be drawn to sources of extreme magic. Y'know, seeking out its next host.
6793460
I think it's pretty clear. When Twilight asks her "why are you doing this" she says "because you humiliated me," and shows the flashback, blaming only Twilight, specifically for "showing her off with that Ursa Minor". (The only thing Twilight did to her except saving Ponyville from a dangerous monster was to call her show 'bragging' when she says "I was so intrigued by Trixie's bragging that I [did some research]")
In the end she says "I treated you and your friends so horribly when I was wearing that alicorn amulet." It's not explained what exactly she's blaming the amulet for, but I don't think it's her initial hatred against Twilight. If she wants revenge on other ponies, she never shows it.
6795396 She has Snips and Snails pull a wheel-less carriage and whips them, and before that turns them into a single pony after yelling "you two!" She transforms Rarity's clothes and Rainbow Dash's wing. Plus all this stuff, which notably doesn't involve Pinkie Pie, who didn't interact with her in Boast Busters. Also, "you" can be plural.
6795976
It kind of does involve Pinkie. Not on that picture, but in the same scene a few seconds later, she forces Pinkie to dance (for some reason). And it involves the cakes and the Mare, who all did nothing to her. And Fluttershy, too. And she does cast this muzzle-removal spell on Pinkie, and doesn't even reverse it.
An entertaining first chapter, though I think it does get slightly repetitive going on about how much the Pie family all love Marble as the cute heart of its members. At least Marble is pretty honest in that she finds Trixie attractive and doesn't expect to get a whole 'love at first sight' or romantic love period in turn. I suppose it'll be up to Trixie to lighten up the lives of the rest of the family. Even just the novelty of somepony new would do it, but she'll no doubt go above and beyond.
It really is kind of a tragedy, knowing exactly how this story will end though, with Trixie leaving to go buy the Alicorn Amulet and get revenge on Ponyville and Twilight Sparkle in particular. At least now we see why Trixie doesn't trust wheels.
Limestone's thoughts after she gets her letter from Pinkie Pie are a little bit disingenuous though with this line:
Limestone thinks as much both in the first chapter, Trixie admits it at the scene in the caves, and Limestone even thinks about it from a different angle after that Trixie does embellish her stories, it's just a part of her career path. It's not so much that Trixie neglects to mention she claimed to beat an Ursa Major, it's more that she doesn't even think about it, given that nobody grown-up and with even the slightest rational perspective should actually have expected her to be one hundred percent truthful.
And yep, a sad ending as I was expecting. While you do a good job at straying away from turning this into an alternate universe, I think the premise by itself DOES kind of turn it into an AU, in the sense that I can't see Marble having the reactions she does to Big Mac in Hearthbreakers following this story. She feels like she'd still be too heartbroken to even think about pursuing romance again.
6814968 Thanks for the thoughts. I think enough time passes between Magic Duel and Hearthbreakers that Marble should have been able to calm down... however, the fact that I go out of my way to set up practically everything in Hearthbreakers, right down to Marble and Limestone sleeping in the same bed, probably gets in the way there: if nothing else has changed by the time the episode begins, why has Marble? So I think your reaction makes sense.
This is one of the most horrifically sad and tragic fics I've read on this site. It's beautiful. And criminally underrated/underexposed.
Knowing how her decision plays out in the end, I feel really bad for Trixie here too.
Damn. This story is criminally underrated and deserves over a thousand likes, not the paltry amount it has now (at least as of the time of this writing). The writing style here is great, characterization is delightful, and serves to explain the general attitude and personality of the entire Pie family. Furthermore, this is tragedy is meant to be: a glance of true happiness only for it to be cruelly taken away.
Now, Limestone was was a fascinating choice to follow in the narrative, and I don't say that just because I have a natural love for cynical characters. Her down to earth attitude, inner conflict to make a life for herself and family while dealing with how much she hates it on the farm was wonderful to behold. Now, I think the story could be improved a bit if we had a few bits from Marble's perspective and got glimpses into her thoughts as she was swept up in love and ultimate tragedy, but what we have here works surprisingly well.
I won't lie: I really hoped this would be a true AU where everything ended happily, but well the tags don't lie, and knowing this really created a tension considering I knew everything was going to go wrong, just not how.
However, while I can admire how much effort-good effort mind you-you've put into making this fit canonically with the series, I have to admit that, in my opinion at least, it's a bit to AU. I say this because there's no way Marble would have reacted to Big Mcintosh the way she did in Hearthbreakers, considering the tragedy she'd gone through. However, seeing as how this is a relatively minor thing in the grand scheme of things, it, in my opinion, hardly bears any relevance in the grand scheme of things, and it certainly does not have a negative impact on the fic.
I. Love. This. STORY!
I really hope that the Seattle's Angel review garners this story the readership it deserves! It galls me to know that there are so many exceptional stories hidden away in FIMFiction's basement with almost no views, making them nearly impossible to find.
Okay, so I kept expecting the Pairing Stone to just be like...nope, you guys can't get married. Are you crazy? And then the Pies to just give Trixie the money, because of everything, but then Marble to say she wanted to wait for the Stone to approve, and Trixie, heartbroken and angry at everything, leaves, her new raw emotions a catalyst for Magic Duel. Needless to say, this ended a lot differently than I expected, but I absolutely loved it. I still feel like it's AU, mostly because Pinkie would probably try to get Marble to talk, even if she knew why Marble had made the vow, but I think that just comes down to different character interpretations, so no fouls.
Still, with a ship that hit me out of left field, I adored this story. You've done a wonderful job.
6861971 I think, given the thrust of the story before then, had the pairing stone said something like that, then Marble would have told the pairing stone what for and ignored its advice and gotten married anyway. Placing all the fault of their split on an inanimate piece of rock that was hardly a character beforehand would not have been a satisfying ending.
As for Pinkie... well, that's kind of lesson retread, innit? She already learned in A Friend in Deed that sometimes it's okay to let your friend (/sister) be quiet and alone for a while. And when that happens, you seek out your friend's estranged lover and bring them back together and...
hmmm.
*ponders*
6862437 Yeah, that would have been a thing, wouldn't it? That's a really good point about Pinkie, though, I hadn't considered it. (Also, ponder as long as you'd like, that is a brilliant idea). Like I said, though, I loved the story.
6814929
I agree. Only the 2 idiots Snips & Snails would take such a ridiculous story literally. Lime Stone reacts irrationally.
Holy horseapples. This story is freaking superb. I'm so glad this was recommended to me. Your characterization of Limestone is just amazing, I love her! I found myself pretty much in constant empathy with her (as a somewhat unexpressive asexual myself), and the way you tie this into continuity while still building up the rock farm's own story and personality is just brilliant. This fic needs way more views and likes.
That is one of the most adorable things ever. XD
I haven't read this, and because I am weak and refuse to read tragedy I probably never will, but I commend its existence based on its concept and pairing alone. Everyone else's comments make me wish I had the emotional fortitude to read it, because it sounds like you've got some fine writing to go with the excellent abstract.
This is a stunning story. I'd forgotten it had the tragedy tag when I was reading the first two chapters, assuming it would become AU. Watching it fall apart was heart-wrenching and beautiful. I'm going through a bit of a Limestone Pie obsession at the moment, so I really appreciated her as the POV character. But she really suited the story, too, and I loved what you did with her character. Marble and Trixie were also expertly handled; true to canon but expanded for the new situation. Very smooth how you handled their character transformations to line up with those we saw in Hearthbreakers, and how canon is weaved so cleverly through the story.
Do you think there's a way to square this story with what the show has done since? Maybe now Trixie is friends with Starlight, whose other close friend is Maud Pie, Trixie finally musters up the courage to go back to the rock farm and apologise?
8936290
Something like that, surely. But my internal sense of everyone's characters is mostly still stuck somewhere in season 3, so I wouldn't want to take the time to go through and figure out how Trixie has changed since then. Plus that would involve trying to figure out how much time has passed in-universe since Magic Duel, which I suspect is a difficult effort.
Wonderfully put together and devastating in its inevitability. That last chapter is well-titled; it all comes crashing down, and by the time anyone realizes what's happening, it's too late to do anything about it. Thank you for it. I'd love to see a post-"No Second Prances" story where some combination of Pinkie, Twilight, Maud, and/or Starlight drag Trixie back to the farm.
This was rather heartwrenching
Even the first scene, before Trixie ever turns up, is fantastic. It did a beautiful job of setting up Limestone’s character, and made her recklessness in latching onto the opportunity Trixie provides totally believable despite the reservations that she quite reasonably expresses.
But I think the thing I adore the most is the choice to show it all through Limestone’s eyes, even the clandestine Marble/Trixie scenes. I don’t think I was ever that sold on Marble and Trixie being in love, which makes me think that showing scenes of them from either Marble’s POV or Trixie’s would’ve rang a bit hollow and fallen flat as a result. But I could absolutely buy that Limestone recognized Marble loved Trixie, and that realization was plenty to drive the anguish of the ending home.
This is exactly the kind of thing that the tragedy tag made me hope it’d be, and I wish there were more stories like it. Thanks for writing!
You can has review!