just kind of here, i guess.
It was a crystal clear day. She and her friends had gotten their marks, and then all of a sudden, the crystals broke. Two very important ponies in her life weren't there for her Cuteceanera.
All because of one measly trip.
Rated Teen for a scene near the end.
Hit the Popular Story List on 12-28-15!
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Not bad.
Best. Thing. DT. Has. Ever. Said. In. Fanfiction.
6772965
Thanks for the compliment!
In rl nearly everyone boycotted my 18th birthday, the closest rl equivalent to a cutecenara so I know how Sweetie Belle feels.
6773040 My thoughts exactly.
Sweetie Acted a bit childish in this, I know she was sad but constantly running away to solve her problems?- Out of The CMC I see her as the most Mature, like Rarity handles things with a bit of refinement. The running tactic I can see more for Scootaloo.
Were her parents in the right?-No.
Was she in the right?- No.
I don't know.-This story felt a bit rushed in character development and pacing.
Yet it still does have charm.Like a lot of charm in some places.
I feel as a One shot this story is lacking a bit in more than one place. But maybe later, come back to this and re-write this story as a Multi-Chapter story-Really delve into the Characters and the overall plot of this story and I think It would knock everyones socks off!!!!
Is the story bad?-Not at all!
For what it is and the charm it brought at the start I'll give it a 7/10 with a bit more polish could be a perfect 10. Great Job!
Faved and Hoofed Up!
I just noticed it said incomplete at the bottom!!!- Is there more coming?
If so then.....
6773563
Oh, there isn't! Sorry! But if you want, I could try to think up of a sequel, or make another chapter.
6773552
Thanks for the criticism!
Also, I added that part of Sweetie yelling at her parents and running away because she went totally off on Rarity in Sisterhooves Social.
Nah. The story is good on it's own merit, never force a extra to a tale unless you have it already planned. Like me I have a sequel already planed for my Born to be mild fic. I'm happy to see you made it to the Popular stories list the other night too!-You earned it.
6777153
Thanks for understanding! But I still don't get how I got on the popular story list...
6782475
Aw, thanks.
All for a vacation..... Sweetie Belle's parents are jerks.
Very good idea, but you need more build-up. Taking more time with it and builiding the scenes, letting more events happen, explaining motivations and feelings better. It's rather rushed right now and reads like you ticked off events and plot points on a checklist.
An upvote for the effort, but it could be a lot better.
I didn't like this very much
I mean, Sweetie acted a little immature because because of what? Her parents weren't there RIGHT THE SECOND she got a fricken tattoo? You never know when you will get your cutie mark, so I just thought Sweetie wasn't understanding enough. Heck, my parents, both, once missed a birthday of mine because of my sick grandparents and you know what? It was fine. Cause later they took me to a really awesome place for my birthday. And a bulldozer? Very implausible. Overall, not the best story I read, but not horrible bad. Keep writing, I'm sure your next one will be fine.