His name is Free, and he was a slave. But when he found his opening and escaped his owners, he finds that the wasteland holds its own horrors. Will he remain uncorrupted? Or will the wasteland wittle away all that he holds dear until he breaks?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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*sigh* I love cutaways
8426838
Really?
8426842
When they're done well, yeah. I like seeing "action elsewhere" but often it's overdone. This is the first actual "cut away" you've done in 6 Chapters basically. Your first side chapter was a different type of story element so it doesn't feel overused. We're checking back in on characters and locations that we already know who, I THINK, we're going to see again later in the story. So keeping an eye on them adds an interesting element.
8428142
I'm glad it doesn't seem out of place then!
8428730
I'm working just as fast as I can.
8475118
Fortune has no intention of joining forces with Red Eye. He's got his sights set on something bigger.
8475118
Also I don't think there are many FoE fics set from the bad guy's perspective.
Hey, who stole the quote in the beginning of the chapter!
OI! Nothing can break a Pip-Buck! Those things can take a shotgun blast at point blank, and magic spells as well! Can't just try coming here being all "rule of cool" and ruin a Pip-Buck like that!
Heh, Lash and Freedom sits in a three, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Nitpick
"Fortune turned slowly around to face the Zebra who quickly lowered his gaze to the floor." Zebra is a race, so does not need a capital letter."
8882628
Wasn't feeling a quote for this one. Even the last side chapter didn't have a quote as much as a personal log.
And Lash has a whole barrel of issues that I hope to explore more as the story develops.