That1Brony3
Joined 31st Jul, 2013 ·
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Love this
I love the set up and the emotions you can read off raainbow dash. watching eagerly.
the Grammar is a bit off in places but I am not a Grammar Nazi, so I really could care less
Its really a heart warming story so far. I recommend going over that last paragraph though as it's a little hard to follow. At least I had to re-read it once to actually understand what happened. Honestly that's not really a problem though just something to think about. I know I would want someone to give me pointers, right or wrong about my stories so I thought I would put in my 2 bits
However I actually really like where this is headed already and the story itself seems really cool. Nice work and keep it up!
great chapter! Love the story!
My only tid bit is that there was like one or two parts during the chapter that it was not specified who was talking so I got a little lost
I really love the ending though. As sad as it was, I feel that when rainbow catches up to her they will be able to reconcile and really be together? Also a conflict between family's would be cool? Oooo! Applejack and rainbow dash become scootaloos adoptive parents! YAY! PLEASE!
eh... the Apple Family, throwing AJ out like this?
It just seems like they might as well not be the apple family. Seriously, this seemed so randomly unlike them. There's no reasons given and then the thing with AB makes no sense as AJ has literally fought a Chimera for her.
6671018 If the Chimera thing was in one of the newer episodes, haven't watched them, don't care. The thing with AB will be explained later. Otherwise, I've just forgotten
As for the Apple family thing, that's all part of the genius. It was supposed to seem unlikely, unnatural, or unimaginable. Want it different? Write it yourself or watch for update that might change it. There is also a reason given. You must've just missed it.