Princess Twilight's Omnicultural Multi-ethnic All-encompassing Defense Force

by Anatinus

Chapter 6 - The Force is born

It was a nice, warm day at Sweet Apple Acres. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, Winona was barking at a squirrel and somehow a convention of blacksmiths had forced its way inside Princess Twilight Sparkle's skull. She opened her eyes, getting ready to cast a silence spell on all the awful noise around her, then changed her mind when the slightest flow of magic through her horn persuaded the blacksmiths to hire a brass band and some drummers. A gentle hoof poked slightly her side, and she looked up to see a familiar, kind striped snout.

"Zzzeckora?"

The zebra simply smiled and pushed a steaming cup in Twilight's direction.

"Don't try to talk, and do stay still/drink this warm brew to cure your ills."

Good ol' Zecora. Always at hand, ready to help and... twilight took a sip... and, apparently, to poison her with the most vile tasting concoction Twilight had ever had the misfortune to drink. Weirdly enough, the blacksmiths seemed to agree, because they decided to move to some other place, taking the musicians with them. With a sigh, Twilight started to drink in earnest.

Taking a short pause from coating her mouth with disgust-in-a-cup, Twilight looked around. She was in Applejack's barn, apparently, and around her were all her friends and the entirety of the future troopers. Kissy was forcing down a cup of something that, according to his grimace, was the same swill she was having, and the others were gathered around Spike, that was reading a newspaper. Oh no. Twilight stood up, her hangover apparently gone, and walked to her little draconic assistant.

"On a scale of one to ten, Spike, how much did we mess up this time?"

Spike grinned, then slid a few newspapers in her direction. "I'd say zero, Twi. Apparently, the forces of the press have been defeated by the joint efforts of Princess Celestia, Fancy Pants and Granny Smith. Turns out that Sir Pants has quite a few contacts in the media industry."

Twilight nodded. "Well, at least this time we... Granny Smith?"

Next to her, the ancient matriarch of the Apple Clan let out a happy guffaw, holding up one of the newspapers for her to see. "Ah messed it up las' night, ah made it better today. The Apples always take responsibility fer their mistakes."

Twilight read the headlines: "Crazy old mare chases around journalists - why such hostility?" Twilight smiled, then gave Granny a tight hug. "Thank you, Granny. I only wish this didn't soil your reputation..."

The old mare hugged twilight in kind, with a big, warm grin. "Ah, don' worry, young'un. Three hunnerd years old an' kickin', think ah haven't had mah share of badmouthin'?"

Spike nodded, then pointed at the other papers. "Granny's niceness got us enough time and forewarning to present a good front, Twi. That, and the fact that these reporters were of a much better kind than the last ones, helped us get through this wave of news almost unscathed. Look!"

Twilight started reading. The Canterlot Tribune showed a picture of the largest members of the Force tucking in Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, with Sera towering protectively over them. The headline was "Troopers-to-be offer assistance to indisposed national heroines". The headline of the Manehattan Gazette, on the other hoof, was simply "HNNNNNNNNG!": the photo below showed Twilight with Kissy in her forelegs, George resting his head against her belly and the Cutie Mark Crusaders using her as an extra large pillow. Sweetie Belle resting on her head was particularly adorable. Twilight gave a quick glance at the other papers: pretty much all the headlines were positive.

"Well, that's a relief.... wait a moment. Did you say "almost" unscathed? What do you mean with..."

Twilight's question was interrupted by an outraged scream that made the last of the blacksmiths run back in, give a final hammer blow and rush off again. She turned to look at the source of the noise... and saw Rainbow Dash, pale enough to look like a rainbow maned relative of Rarity, holding up a copy of the Cloudsdale Bugle.

"What the hay? What... I don't even... How can it... I haven't..."

As the pegasus kept sputtering in utter indignation, Twilight moved closer to read what had bewildered her fast-flying friend.

"Beauty and the Beast? - Renowned Wonderbolt candidate and Equestrian heroine Rainbow Dash surprised in the loving embrace of foreign trooper. Is romance in the air for the rainbow speedster?" The photo below showed Dash curled asleep, cat-like, in the powerful arms of Garmak.

The massive centaur was looking rather embarrassed. "I... I'm sorry, princess. Miss Dash was in pretty bad shape - five mugs to your three - and I was trying to carry her to a place where she could rest comfortably. I didn't notice the photographer until it was too late."

Of course, Dash was pretty much livid. "Oh, stick a fork in me, I'm done! My reputation is shot to Tartarus! What is Spitfire going to say now?"

"Something like "Ask him if he's got a brother.", possibly."

Everyone in the barn turned toward the skylight, where a familiar yellow pegasus with a flame-like mane and a blue uniform with golden trims was grinning openly at Rainbow Dash. Dash let out a pitiful yowl and darted at supersonic speed out of the closest open window. As she was shooting towards parts unknown, Spitfire glided gracefully in front of Twilight.

"Sorry for showing up unannounced, Princess. I was told about your project, and decided to offer my services as a military consultant. Messing with Dash was just a side benefit. I know that you already have one, and I mean no disrespect to my esteemed griffish colleague" Spitfire nodded politely to Stormwreaker, who replied in kind " but better safe than sorry, right?"

Twilight seemed to be lost in thought for a while, then she shook her head. "My apologies, Commander Spitfire, but we have to do this on our own. The eyes of all of Equestria are upon us, and even a small act like getting help from one of the most competent officers in the Equestrian army could be seen as a sign of weakness. And I believe that you can plainly see how this could turn against us. The last thing we need is digging ourself even deeper."

Spitfire nodded sagely, then snapped to attention and saluted.

"I understand perfectly, Your Highness. Sargeant Stormwreaker, I'll leave the counseling of Princess Twilight to your capable talons. Good luck."

After saying that, she quickly took wing and departed. The troopers looked at Twilight approvingly, except for Lana, who appeared really confused.

"What's so wrong in digging yourself deeper?"

Oh, right. Diamond Dog.

After clarifying the metaphor to the canine trooper, and receiving a short explanation of Diamondian metaphors in return (apparently, the Diamondian equivalent was "pulling off a gallery's supports") the princess, her friends and the troopers started planning what still needed to be done before the oath swearing ceremony.

And so, the preparations began.

Garmak offered his support to Rarity in the creation of the uniforms, followed shortly by Lana and fluttershy: the utilitarian armor favored by the centaurs meshed well with Rarity's ideas, and the fashion mare found that nimble fingers and talented wing feathers were pretty much invaluable with large amounts of work. Of course, the Weevil Plates had to be replaced with metal, due to the difficulty of importing them from the Badlands.

In the meanwhile, Acting Sargeant Stormwreaker had been giving basic training to the Force, meeting various small problems, from Lost Cause and Sera losing their glasses all the time (solved by Ponyville's resident eccentric genius, "Doc" Time Turner, by reworking the glasses into Wonderbolt-style goggles) to the more obvious matter of size difference (Kissy, at full sprint, was barely able to keep up with the immense stride of Steady Ascent or the bounding gait of Nyota, and the Ring triplets weren't faring much better).

The population of Ponyville was fast to lend a helping hoof where needed, as usual: from the Apples raising housings for the troops (after rebuilding their barn so many times, it came pretty much natural) to Cheerilee admitting George to her classes and helping Pinkie with "griffon babysitting duty", to Cranky Doodle Donkey volunteering his and Steven's help for heavy work. It was pretty clear that the Ponyvillians had adopted Twilight's troops just like they had done with the princess-to-be many years before. The fact that the troops were always ready to break formation and help where needed didn't hurt either.

All in all, however, things were proceding at a steady pace, despite Twilight's growing worries, and in the end the Princess of Friendship felt that they were ready to hold the oath swearing ceremony. Just to be sure, she left for Canterlot to consult one last time with Princess Celestia, and possibly give her and Luna their invitations personally. In the meantime, the others kept working to make sure that the day of the ceremony would be perfect.

And yet, that night Twilight didn't come back. In her place, Spike received a letter via dragon breath:

"Spike, I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. Please ask Acting Sargeant Stormwreaker to gather the Force in front of the barracks. I need to tell them something. Twilight."

The content of the letter had the troops on their toes - or equivalent body part. Rumors ran back and forth, becoming more and more outlandish with every passage.

Celestia had decided to pull the plug on the Force.

Luna had decided to take over the force.

DERPY had decided to take over the force.

The Sisters had decided to replace the uniforms with Pinkie Pie's mascot costumes.

Queen Chrysalis had been hired to provide entertainment for the ceremony.

TIREK had been hired to provide entertainment.

Twilight had been replaced by an evil potato.

By the time Twilight appeared at the door, the troops were betting on who would get closest. Twilight looked at her troops with an expression of serious determination, and was about to talk, when Spike interrupted.

"Um, so, Twilight... unless Princess Celestia is going to hand the Force to Derpy and Luna, who are you and your potato twin going to dance with first at the ceremony, Chrysalis or Tirek?"

The determination on Twilight's face excused itself and tagged in her replacement, utter bewilderment.

"What."

After a short explanation, and an equally short laugh, Twilight sat down, her determination back in place.

"Actually, it's nothing like that. I got good news and bad news. The good news are that the princesses have accepted the invitation, and so have the ambassadors of pretty much every single non-pony nation: the Badlands, Griffonstone, Yakyakistan, Diamondia, Thicket, all those and more. There's also gonna be a lot of famous personalities, pony and not. I hope that you don't suffer from stage fright."

If the loud thud of a fainting draconess was any hint, some of them sure did. After Sera recovered, Twilight resumed speaking.

"The BAD news are that I finally found out how the press caught wind of the Force so fast. According to Sir Fancy Pants, a few noblemen and higher ups in Canterlot think that my project is mocking the glorious traditions of the Equestrian Army, and pulled all the strings they could to ridicule us at every possible occasion, and in three days, at the ceremony, the reporters will literally swarm the area, trying to, and I quote, "turn the ceremony into a circus act". Anyone who wants to pull out can do so; I'll do my best to minimize the damage, even if, I'm sorry to admit, I'm out of ideas."

A dreadful silence followed Twilight's words. She looked at the Force - HER Force, as she had grown to think of them - and saw them frozen in place, their expressions stony and unreadable. Then, she noticed something: Sera's eyes, behind her goggles, were twitching, and smoke had started to trickle out of her nostrils. Slowly the draconess's snout curved into a snarl uncovering a frightening amount of fangs.

"THOSE SONS OF A B..." Sera's eyes flitted quickly to Lana "...BBBASTARD! We've been here for weeks, busting our chops to prove ourselves worthy of Equestria, and they..."

Like a dam breaking, Sera's outburst triggered an avalanche of insults, curses and threats from every single creature in the building: even little Kissy was writing on a small blackboard that he was planning NOT to give those ponies any cookies when they showed up (for a Luvcat, that was pretty much unbridled hostility). What was pretty noticeable, though, was that Acting Sargeant Stormwreaker was not emitting a single sound, even if her eyes literally radiated enough fury to set the air on fire. Then, suddenly, she roared.

After her powerful vocal blast had brought everyone's attention on her, Stormwreaker cleared her throat, then motioned for the others to come closer. After the troops (plus one princess and baby dragon) did so, she looked around and smiled: what initially was a nice smile slowly spread into the horrible grin usually associated with green gremlins trying to steal Hearth's Warming or clown-faced criminals. Everyone took a step backwards.

"Gentlebeings, I'm afraid that you're looking at the situation from the wrong point of view. People of such a calibre need a response of a comparable calibre. They want a circus, right? Well, I say we give them a circus. Now, here's my idea..."

The following day, the entire Force had vanished. When questioned, the citizens of Ponyville gave helpful, detailed directions that sent the reporters on a wild goose chase that led them to the most unpleasant locations in town, from the manure storage area to Discord's house. They were offered Pinkie's Windingo Ghost Pepper cupcakes, left to the tender care of Bulk Biceps and offered a front seat for a demonstration of Time Turner's most dangerous experiments. By nightfall, most reporters had decided to actually wait for the ceremony; those who didn't want to wait stopped relying on the locals and actually started searching the area - until Zecora brought a couple of them back from the Everfree covered in Poison Joke pollen.

Finally, three days later, the day of the ceremony arrived. The area designated for the audience was literally crowded with guests of many races, origins and social status, and, while most of the "canterlot elite" was trying to stay on one side and show an air of superiority, many others didn't give a flip and mingled happily: the Troll guest ("ambassador" was too long a word for the huge, friendly dimwits) was playing with the foals, the Zebrican ambassador was chatting with Zecora in their native language, and even the mysterious mimickers had sent a representative (as the minotaur ambassador found out when he tried to sit on what he believed to be a chair). The changelings, of course, didn't send anyone. Probably.

The Royals of Equestria had already taken place on the podium, to the sides of the seat reserved for Princess Twilight Sparkle: Celestia, Luna and Blueblood to the left, and Cadance and Shining Armor to the right. With them, of course, were Twilight's friends and fellow Harmony Bearers, plus Spike.

After a short while, Twilight trotted out of a side road and moved towards the podium. As she moved past the crowd, an old unicorn stepped forward from the area occupied by the Canterlot nobles. His face was very serious, but his eyes betrayed a mix of anger and disgust.

"A word, if I may, princess."

Twilight smiled kindly at the old stallion. "Sure, what can I do for you?"

"I'd say that you could stop this travesty, but you wouldn't listen. Be warned, though: by the end of the day, everypony will know exactly the true value of your so-called Force."

Twilight's smile only grew wider, as she patted him kindly on the cheek. "On that at least we agree, sir." Then she resumed walking and got to her place.

The crowd was growing restless, and there was no trace of the troopers; and still, Twilight kept smiling. Then, suddenly, she turned towards the road leading to the open area where the ceremony would take place and released a powerful flare spell: in response, from far in the road an incredibly tall figure started closing in at a gallop. The pegasi could see Steady Ascent, the giraffe, and a much smaller figure nestled between her horns - Kissy, the tiny luvcat. After a few impossibly long steps, the minuscule creature turned and cut loose what at first had looked like a hood for the uniform they were both wearing, and it quickly unfolded, revealing itself as the Equestrian flag, tied to the giraffe's long neck like a living flagpole.

Then, as if out of nowhere, the galloping figures multiplied: now, keeping pace with the Steady Ascent, were Rutgerd and Leaf, the Force's powerhouses, and right in front of the giraffe was galloping the towering Garmak, the centaur, holding a huge centaur halberd with a second flag bearing Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark. And, just like the giraffe, all of them had riders: Lana the diamond dog was standing on Garmak's back, holding on to his horns, and on Rutgerd and Leaf were Trapeze and Shadow Mirror, the midget ponies, in a perfect stance of full attention.

After a few moments, right out of the dust lifted by the bovine titans came Nyota, Lost Cause, Background Pony, Walk-In Role and Utterly Irrelevant, joining the others in a perfect formation, that they kept until they reached the gathering area.

Twilight nodded, then held up a hoof to signal that it wasn't over and shot a second flare: the signal was answered by a titanic shape coming out of the cloud cover a short distance away. Sera, the draconess, broke out of her dive and leveled, and at that moment three shapes released their grips on her wings and back and moved to a diamond shaped flying formation, Stormwreaker and Window Dressing executing mirrored aileron rolls and Baton doing a full loop to take the tail position; then they did a second synchronized loop, inverting their positions in the formation, and landed. The completion of the formation was announced by a crown of fireworks, that filled the air above them with multicolored smoke.

For a few moments, the crowd was frozen into stunned silence, then an applause started from somewhere in their middle and quickly spread until it turned into a true standing ovation. Weird thing is, the one who started it had been one of the paparazzi.

The noble who had spoken with Twilight was shooting withering stares to all the ones who were applauding (whose number included, sadly for him, even some of his entourage), when he heard a voice from close to him: "A word, if I may?"

He turned, snarling... and found himself facing an old, balding orange earth pony with a dual-colored mask cutie mark and an azure unicorn mare with a purple cape and matching hat. The old pony gave him a friendly, paternal smile and spoke.

"You, my friend, did a couple of dreadful mistakes, I'm afraid: The first, of course, was challenging a national heroine known for her creativity and her hoof-picked troops - on her own territory, no less. The other, well..."

The mare grinned: "The other is that you used "circus" in your threats as if it were something bad or to be ashamed of."

The old pony nodded, turning his kind smile to the mare. "Well said, my dear. And now, it's time to go back to our seats and enjoy the ceremony." Having said that, the two left to meld into the crowd once more, leaving the frustrated noble to fume and sputter in anger.

The troops were now standing stock still, in a perfect pose of attention, giving the audience a perfect sight of their matching uniforms: purple shirts with silver embroidery and a shoulder patch showing Twilight Sparkle's starburst. Two of them, however, were also wearing an armor made of interlinked plate and chainmail, likewise painted purple: Stormwreaker and Garmak.

Twilight looked at them approvingly, then stood up and raised a hoof to request a moment of silence. She cleared her throat, then addressed the troops.

"Please, repeat after me: we, citizens of Equestria and chosen troops of the Omnicultural Multi-ethnic All-encompassing Defense Force, swear to from now on do our utmost to protect and uphold the values of Harmony, of friendship, and the innocent people of our fair country!"

The troopers repeated as requested (although Lana had to confirm that Kissy had effectively done so, since she was the only one that could hear his ultrasonic voice).

"Then, as a Princess of Equestria, I accept your oath: serve your country well!"

Having said that, Twilight saluted, and the Force replied in kind. And the crowd cheered once more.

Comments

[Draco Loco]

Who and what is "Window Dressing"? I ask because I looked through the two chapters introducing the troops and couldn't find any mention of them. I ask the 'what' because of the nature of this fic.

[Anatinus]

6648807 Window Dressing, Walk-In Role, Background Pony and Utterly Irrelevant are mentioned in the fifth chapter. They're the pony candidates that were accepted "out of camera". There IS a good reason why I didn't introduce them in detail - aside from a joke about unnamed background ponies - but I can't tell it now because it would be a spoiler for the next chapter. Of course you probably guessed that Window Dressing is a pegasus or other winged creature; so, I can say this: Window Dressing is a female pegasus, Background Pony is a female earth pony, Walk-In Role is a male earth pony and Utterly Irrelevant is a male unicorn, same as Lost Cause. But that's all I can say.

[Draco Loco]

6648856
Thank you.