Princess Twilight's Omnicultural Multi-ethnic All-encompassing Defense Force

by Anatinus

Chapter 3 - Filling the ranks, day 1

Author's Note:

This chapter (and maybe the next) is a bit less about the fun, and more bout introducing the troops. I'll resume doing stupid jokes in a bit. Sorry.

A few days had passed, and the news of the new branch of the Equestrian military (and its weird name) had spread like wildfire. Ponies and otherwise had started to gather within Ponyville and right outside it, and with each passing day more and more were arriving. It was time to start the interviews among the potential volunteers.

Of course, that meant that Twilight was having a massive panic attack; her insecurities were having a field day, something that had annoyed even Fluttershy. On the outside, she was stoic and dignified, the perfect portrait of an Equestrian princess, but on the inside she was pretty much breaking down big time. She was regretting the decision of meeting the candidates personally, rather than having them fill some forms. Forms were orderly, forms were rational, forms were complete... She loved forms... Oh well. With a deep sigh, she lighted her horn and sent Spike the signal to send the first candidate in. The door opened... and then closed again.

Twilight looked in utter puzzlement at the door. "Hello?"

tug.

Twilight, feeling the slight tug to her tail, literally shot out of the chair, perching on the desk like a frightened cat.

"Wh-what was that?"

tug, tug.

She turned around, looking at her tail... and saw what was pretty much the personification of adorableness. It looked like a tiny, soft crossbreed of a kitten and a baby bunny, holding a tray of cookies with the paw that was not closed around her tail. Its fur was bright pink, and its eyes were big, shiny and decorated by long, supple eyelashes. Its short, cottony tail was wiggling in excitement, and its nose was twitching just above a tiny, cute smile.

"Er. Are you, um, candidate n. #1, by any chance?"

nod.

"Sorry for asking, but... what are you?"

The kitten-bunny-thingy pulled out from a small backpack a map, with the forest of Leota highlighted, then handed Twilight a pink, glittery book. It was, basically, the story of a race of beings of pure love and friendliness, who lived in a small village right in the middle of the forest. They had lived there for eras, loving and being loved by the beasts of Leota.

Then somepony had shot the changelings right in the middle of the village.

Twilight grimaced. Apparently, the land they had used as a prison for Chrysalis was inhabited. "Er... Sorry, we didn't know about that."

shrug.

"Wait, but... if you were there, why didn't you contact us when we got to the village?"

The little creature pulled out a sheet of paper and a felt tip pen. The changelings. They need us.

Twilight looked at the little creature (a luvcat, according to the book) with a slight frown: "But... wouldn't that endanger your life?"

That's what we are. What we do.

"Oh. Well, back to the original topic... Um, can you talk?"

nod.

"Then, wouldn't it be easier to simply talk, rather than write?"

The luvcat opened its mouth, and no sound came out... but cracks started forming on the crystal walls of the room.

"Ultrasonic frequencies?"

nod.

"Oh. Anyway, your race doesn't seem to have a single violent bone in their body."

That's because we don't.

"Then, why joining a military unit? I mean, the military is supposed to..."

As she was speaking, the little one had been writing fast, as if possessed. He lifted up the paper.

You've been helping. Rescuing. Supporting. Aiding. Your troops probably will do the same. I want in.

Twilight smiled. That was an excellent reason. "Well, I think we'll give it a shot. Welcome to the force, miss..."

For the first time, the luvcat's smile faltered. It started writing again.

Sunlight Kissing The Morning Flowers... but my friend call me Kissy. And I'm a boy.

Twilight blushed. "I... I'm sorry, Kissy. And, again, welcome."

The tiny luvcat hugged her tightly, again smiling, then scampered out.

Well, that had been weird. And embarrassing. Twilight shook her head, with a bemused smile; at least the next candidate would be more normal...

Which only shows that among the many, many powers of the Princess of Friendship there isn't prescience.

Again, there was a knock at the door, and Twilight sat up, trying to strike a dignified pose. And, as the door opened, promptly lost said pose to hide behind her desk.

In her defense, one could say that meeting again with a Centaur in such a short time span wasn't something she expected.

The tall, red and black creature looked at the desk, confused.

"Princess... Sparkle? Hello?"

Twilight peeked out of behind the desk. The huge six-limbed creature in front of her was imposing, sure, but he wasn't Tirek.

"Er, hello. Sorry, I dropped a quill. And I was retrieving it. On the floor. Where it fell. Because that's what one does when quills fall."

The tall creature cracked a half smile, then tilted his head.

"How about I step out and then back in and we resume from the start?"

Twilight smiled back.

"It won't be necessary, mr....?"

"Garmak. My name is Garmak."

Twilight nodded.

"That's a nice name. I couldn't help but notice, though, that..."

Garmak crossed his powerful arms.

"It's cultural. All Centaur names end in K, all Gargoyle names in N, all Gremlin names in T. There's another race whose name ends in D, but you already know him, right?"

Twilight let out a half giggle.

"We could say that, yes. So, mr. Garmak, what makes you think that the Force would be good for you?"

Garmak's smile grew wide: "I like it. Down in the Badlands, YOU are the one good for the army, not otherwise. You'll be a good leader."

Twilight blushed, as Garmak resumed talking.

"Anyway, I moved from the Badlands to Equestria years ago, because... well, let's be honest, the place is a wasteland. I was hoping to find a place where finding food didn't take all day. Equestria is a nice place, and the Earth Ponies like me because if there's something that a Badlander isn't afraid of it's hard work." Garmak frowned. "Then Tirek arrived. He attacked the village I lived in, and robbed the ponies of their magic. I tried to defend them, and that apparently offended him, because he broke my legs. All four of them. Oh, and a few ribs too. Luckily, I got many."

Twilight looked at Garmak, impressed. "That was very brave of you. Not many would dare stand against Tirek alone."

Garmak laughed briefly. "If you call being beaten to a pulp "standing", well, I stood. Even got a medal out of it. The village's mayor personally wanted to pin it to my shirt."

Twilight frowned for a moment: "You have a shirt?"

"I don't. The mayor is almost blind without her glasses."

Twilight winced sympathetically, as she looked the towering figure lift reflexively a hand to his left nipple. "That must have hurt."

"Like you wouldn't believe. Anyway, Tirek literally poured mud on the good name of the Centaurs. I want to clean it up. Am I in?"

Twilight nodded. "You're in."

Garmak reached over with a hand, as if to shake Twilight's hoof... then sharply kneeled, bringing her hoof to his forehead.

"Then from now on I pledge my loyalty eternal to the Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, may she rule forever. My life is hers to take, if she ever wish to, and my arm is her own against any who dare oppose her wisdom."

In the ensuing silence, Garmak looked up to see Twilight look at him, with an expression that was a mix of embarrassed, confused and aghast. He stood up awkwardly, fidgeting.

"I... I don't suppose that the Equestrian military has customs similar to the Centaurs, then?"

Twilight shook her head.

"I... I'll just let myself out, Princess."

She nodded, as the towering Centaur left. One could think that the naturally crimson-skinned centaurs couldn't blush... turns out that they can. It's a muted shade of purple.

After Garmak left, Twilight found herself staring at the door, silently wishing for someone normal to enter. And, sure enough, a solid, firm knocking announced the presence of the next candidate. Twilight quickly returned to her royal stance.

"Come in, please."

The next candidate walked in slowly, her eyes shifting back and forth to examine the room. She was tall, dignified and elegant, muscular enough to hint at years of hard work but still graceful. Apparently, the concept of diamond dogs being clumsy brutes was just a stereotype.

She sat at the chair in front of the desk, without a word.

"Um, hello. So, what's your name?"

The question seemed to startle the diamond dog out of her contemplative state.

"Whu? Oh. Am Lana. You the Princess that makes non-pony guards?"

Twilight nodded, taken a little aback by Lana's abruptness. "Well, it's a bit more complex than that, but yes, basically."

Lana stared at her, appraisingly. "Want to join."

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

The diamond dog shifted to sit more comfortably, then sighed deeply.

"Could say helping pony is dream of my life. Could say being soldier is what I born to do. Could say want to serve pony Princesses. Could say all of this. Would be lying out of my fangs, though. Not that not want help pony or serve, mind. Can do that."

Twilight looked at her, puzzled: "So... why are you telling me all of this?"

Lana sighed. "Diamond Dogs are terrible liars. One not lie in pack, see. So I say the truth. And the truth is, want a place of my own, but need job to do that. If I work for Princess, ponies respect me, so I live easier."

Twilight simply nodded, gesturing for Lana to go ahead.

"Life in pack is not really bad, if one is hard worker. Raise the pups, help dig, get gems, repair carts. Is a living. Problem is, am a female."

Twilight perked an eyebrow. "You mean that they tried to take advantage of you?"

Lana laughed shortly, a rough, barking laugh: "Would like to see them try... Am much bigger than they are. Plus, pack leaders would rip their tails off! No, no... You see, I think of future. Pack is nice, but someday I want have pups. And when do, I want better for pup than hole in ground!"

Lana sighed deeply. "Really miss Diamondia sometimes."

"Why don't you simply go back then?"

"And leave pack behind?" Lana sounded genuinely offended. "Princess, you really not know how Diamond Dogs think, do you? We are pack. We are together. We all go back, or none does."

Twilight frowned. Lana really seemed to mean well, but... She looked hard at the diamond dog lady, who was once more looking around.

"And what if the Force is brought to face Diamond Dogs? What would you do, then?"

Lana closed her eyes, deep in thought. "If not my pack, I do not care. If my pack... Would be forced to challenge Alpha for rulership of pack. Would not like that. Our Alpha is stupid, but I like him."

Twilight shuddered. That was very rational, but more cold-blooded than she expected.

"One last question... why do you keep looking around?"

Lana grinned. There were a lot of fangs in that grin. "Hel-loooo? Diamond Dog, remember? Like crystals. A lot. You have good taste in living place, Princess."

Twilight fell back in her chair, musing. Lana's reasons were pretty solid, and she liked her, but her predator mindset could be a liability. Then again, one of the purposes of the Force was to show togetherness among the races...

"Very well, Lana. You've made your point. Welcome to the Force."

The Diamond Dog leapt up, hugged Twilight and gave her snout a long, wet lick. Then, after a second of awkward pause, released the thoroughly drenched pony and stood back, ears low and tail between her legs. "Am sorry. Diamond Dogs are much more physical when showing feelings."

Twilight smiled. "It's fine. Just go back and join the others."

As Lana was leaving, Twilight snickered. She almost couldn't believe that she had just recruited an extra-large Winona in the Force...

Sadly, the "winning streak" didn't continue as Twilight would have hoped: while there were more candidates that were pretty much perfect, and some that were very promising, other had given solid blows to her faith in the good nature of sapient creatures, from a VERY aggressive young minotaur looking for glory to a snotty unicorn noblepony who expected to be made officer straightaway (never mind that there weren't any official troops yet). In the end, she was going to call it a day, after a prissy actor from Bridleway had almost made her lose her patience (and her lunch) by treating the Force as a publicity stunt. There was only one last candidate on the list, as the knocking on the door confirmed.
The door opened, revealing a small, meek, bespectacled unicorn, who was standing stock still, alternatively looking inside and into the corridor. Twilight blinked.

"Are you, uh..." Twilight looked at the list " "Nyota"?"

The unicorn's head snapped forward to look at her, then he shook his head hard: "Er, n-no, your Highness. My name is Lost Cause. Nyota is..." he stopped, babbling something in a language Twilight thought she heard before while looking at the corridor again. A graceful, pretty head poked out from behind the doorframe, followed slowly by a striped body colored brown and cream. "...right here."

Hm. Twilight had read about the Okapi, but she never thought she'd see one outside of Zebrica, given how they were known to be very shy and reclusive.

The two walked inside, the okapi looking ready to bolt at the first chance. She was shaking like a leaf, and every now and then pressed against Lost Cause's side for reassurance. Twilight decided to tone down the "princess pose" a bit, otherwise she'd probably run away. Glasses. She needed her reading glasses. Nopony is afraid of ponies with glasses. She looked up again, smiling.

"So, you're Nyota. Let me ask you: what can the Force do for you?"

Nyota looked pretty lost, and turned to Lost Cause, speaking a few word in the language he had used. The two talked for a short while, then Lost Cause looked at the princess.

"She moved with her family to Equestria a while ago. While she enjoys her current work, she wants to do something more for the country that welcomed her."

Twilight frowned: "Does she know any words in Equestrian?"

Nyota lowered her head, then mumbled "Just a little." Twilight couldn't help but notice that the gesture that had accompanied the words was the same Berry Punch used when she ordered "the usual" down at the pub.

Lost Cause looked at Twilight, hopefully: "I've been translating for her, up to now... My special talent is translating, after all." He shifted a little to show his flank, that sported the flags for Prance, Equestria, Griffonstone and Zebrica in a square pattern as a cutie mark.

Twilight stared at the two, her frown deepening: "So, how is she supposed to work with us? I mean, unless you join as well, nopony-and-otherwise will be able to understand her!"

To her surprise, Lost Cause's eyes brightened, an expression of joy illuminating his muzzle: "Would - would that be possible? I mean, I heard that a Zebra lived around Ponyville, and could help, but if I can, if it's possible, er..."

His reaction was somehow familiar, even if she couldn't put her hoof on it. She snickered, then nodded. "Your talent would be very useful, yes. Now, mind if I ask you a few questions?"

Nyota and Lost cause talked briefly, then he spoke: "Feel free to ask, Princess."

"What did you do before you decided to come and join the Force?"

Nyota blushed a little, then mumbled something to Lost Cause, who translated.

"I am a student of sociology and linguistics, and she's an exotic dancer. In Las Pegasus. We met outside her workplace, you see."

Twilight looked at them, puzzled. She had heard that term from her brother, after one of his friends' college shenanigans.

"You mean a..."

Nyota frowned, then spoke two words, in a harsh tone. "Exotic. Dancer."

With that, she closed her eyes and started singing in her mysterious language, taking slow steps that made her flank sway in rhythm with the music. Her movements were harmonious, her voice magnificent. She moved like a leaf in the wind, like a swaying sea of wheat. Then she increased the pace, her steps wild and fiery, her voice imperious and seductive. Swirling, jumping, twisting, her body suggested things that would have forced Twilight to close Spike's eyes, had he been in the room, hinting without revealing, presenting without offering. She was unbelievable.

When she stopped and took a graceful bow, Twilight was blushing enough to illuminate the room. Was THAT the shy, meek creature that stepped in a little ago? Twilight, trying to regain some composure, moved her eyes to Lost Cause, and she finally recognized his expression. He was still, almost unbreathing, his eyes willing to never close again lest he lose a single instant of his wonderful companion's movements... the same face she had seen many time on her dragon assistant whenever he looked on a certain Ponivillian seamstress. Twilight smiled softly, then turned back to the two.

Nyota, once more sitting in front of the desk, was blushing, but her snout had a proud expression. She spoke. "I dance. Very proud of my dance."

Lost Cause stepped to her side, protectively. The two spoke a little more, then he translated.

"She says that she knows that dancing isn't gonna be very useful to the Force, but she still wants to be helpful. And, if you allow me, Princess..."

Twilight lifted a hoof, smiling. "Not a word more. I'm willing to give her a shot. And your talent will be definitely useful. Welcome to the Force."

As the two stepped outside, Twilight couldn't help seeing Nyota's tail wrapping affectionately around Lost Cause's. With a soft smile, she added his name to the list, rolled it up and started to leave.

That had been an interesting ending to an interesting day...

Comments

[Gagster]

While I'm not really a fan of most of the comics I do think this story is promising. One thing that bothered me so far was the way you wrote in Gilda, she wasn't nearly as bad as you made her out to be. And I doubt Twilight would even remember her visit that well, since she wasn't around her most of the time.

Also it seems way too convenient that the only two Griffons Twilight have met are related to each other.

6494780 ...Huh?

[Anatinus]

6515383 Actually, Twilight was referring to what she had been told. That's why her opinion was a little skewed. Also, it's pretty clear that Gus thinks the world of her.

[Ri2]

I like these guys! I think the luvcat is one of the most intriguing.