Royal librarian of Dream Valley, writer of Ponykind's greatest generation!
This story is a sequel to Twilight Then, Twilight now
A Student from the Royal academy arrives in Ponyville years before Twilight Sparkle, and tries to do academic work without a bunch of crazy ponies distracting him. But a certain cross-eyed mail mare may just catch his eye. Tells a story from before and after the events of the series, from the point of view of two separate ponies. *Midnight is not an OC*
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Might want to change the name anyways. You know why.
Well, one part of Midnight lived a good long life but that isn't true of his other component; let's see what Ditzy thinks of all this madness.
Well, this was inevitable.
His corruption, I mean. I'm certain we all know this will end in disaster and tragedy.
Finally writing le comment. HUZZAH!
Ok, the device of the archivist's note and the journal format immediately lend this a wonderful sense of history and depth, as well as intimacy, so big thumbs up for that. It strikes me a little odd that the archivist would know/mention how Midnight is with mares, but then again, I guess that's connected with whatever will happen with Ditzy, so it makes enough sense, or at least potentially could.
I really, really love the writing style; it's detailed without being long-winded (that's my own fatal flaw, my excessive verbosity--one of many, many reasons I love Wind Whistler so much
), and has a nice, natural flow to it. I also very much enjoy that this is taking some time to actually get to know the characters, because these days there seems to be a lot of this mistaken notion that you need to hook the reader right away and the best way to do that is to drop them right in the middle of the plot first thing. That can be done well and all, my complaint is more with the idea that one way is better/overuse than the practice itself. Myself, I don't need anything more than decent writing and/or characters to carry me along for however long it takes.
Midnight seems a likable sort so far, if just a bit uptight. I can very much sympathize with him. It's a bit early to say, still, but you may have hit that sweet spot between too perfect and plain old bland, and gotten a character that's just believable. The fact that he doesn't care about the mares chasing after him, because he's such a workaholic, not that he's too cool to care, as well as the idea that they're like that with any new stallion, nicely averts some potential sue-like complications.
Hmm, pre-ponies? Might these be some those hew-mons, or some other mystery?
(Don't answer that, I'm just ruminating, I don't want it spoiled!)
So far Midnight and Ditzy's interactions are...interesting. Cute but more than a bit odd. I am intrigued to see where this goes.
So, that's about it. The line about Big Mac being a good listener and filly Pinkie's antics cracked me up. It's really fascinating to see how Ponyville was a few years before the show, kind of passing from one generation to the next. Good stuff.
Also, it's a pleasure for someone as terribly, terribly OCD as me to get a rest from my inner grammar snob yelling at me, as the spelling and grammar here are nearly perfect. So, I shall present the rather short list of:
Le correctionz~
>the neighboring everfree forest, a non-pony region, was home to the palace of the Two Sisters, where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna once ruled this land from.
Everfree
Also, while I've read sources explaining why it's technically not incorrect to end a sentence with a preposition, it is certainly considered to be. So depending on how nitpicking you think Midnight Hooves is you might want to change that to "from where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna..."
>She happed to be flying a few feet above the ground
happened (I'd assume?)
>and sent her mail flying ,
Random extraneous space, woo!
>and out of gratitude I gave her a Muffin I had bought at Sugarcube Corners.
Corner
>My investigation into the ruins take me deeper
takes (the investigation, singular, is the subject)
>and even clay tablets with their writing o I have discovered very little about what kind of creatures these pre-ponies may be
Um...I would think lose the o and add a period there, but you'd know better than I what happened there. Looks like a rewrite gone wonky.
>That is good for her... and for me. as well.
for me, as well.
END of super-huge, really big, oversized comment OF DEATHLY DOOM.
Pennnnnnnaaaaaaaa~ Oh my gosh, fangirl squeeeeee. So awesome!
I'd totally forgotten, but canonically that is who lived in Dream Valley before the ponies.
Hehe, I like the idea that some ponies, especially male, would think up other words than cutie mark. I never was a fan of the term myself.
The very essence of perfection? Oh, Midnight, you've got it bad, don't you?
Midnight's slow warming up to Ditzy and his complete denial of his feelings are very believable. Well done there. It's sad and cute at the same time just how naive he is. Very endearing. One of many things that parallels Twilight in a way.
...I have the feeling this could end very badly.
So, that's about it. Not too much critical analysis there, mostly just fangirling.
Whatever, I'm having a great time and hopefully this brings you some joy too. 
Oh, the pacing is just right, methinks, kind of a slow burn but with enough seemingly significant events to easily hold my interest, and every time you drop a bit more info about the Penna (even when it's something I already know) it just makes me even more eager for more.
Corrections:
>Seeing how hurt she was ,
Those extra spaces before commas just love to show up here, it seems.
>and from I'm reading,
from what I'm reading,
>It's heard to make out,
hard
>Summer has entered into it's hottest period, and all of Ponyville is suffering from their Scorching heat.
Um, I don't know who "their" refers to (is just supposed to be "the" maybe?) and I don't think scorching needs to be capitalized.
I think I have reached the point where I'll be doing this regularly now, huzzah! I'mma start chapter three right now~
Ah, so Midnight's anti-social attitude has caught up with him again (looking back at that from the end of this chapter, this is a very good thing--Midnight needed to make the attempt to pull back and realize that he couldn't, or he would've felt caught in between. A proposal without this incident first would have done in my suspension of disbelief.). Oh, gosh, I always get so annoyed when people try to lure me into something.
By the by, was it deliberate to have all three races represented with Midnight, Breezy and Mac?
Hmm, you would think that you'd tend to find the more recent stuff first digging up artifacts, seems odd that Midnight goes farther forward in history as his search continues...
Don't know exactly how I feel about ponies living under the wing of the Penna as it were. Always been of the opinion that ponies can take care of themselves...Most of my own headcanon tends to feature them just being made and meant to be the one bastion of hope and civilization in the Hell that is Dream Valley, standing alone against the darkness. Oh well, 'twould be boring if everything was exactly the same as it is in my brain, it's just interesting to note that this is the first significant difference. And it certainly does make enough sense.
Whoa, a Penna accidentally Discord. That's heavy. And it makes a lot of sense, with their crazy shapeshifting powers and seeming like such a magically inclined race...yeah, it fits surprisingly well that Discord could have come from such strange forms of magic. I just love it when all the pieces fall together like that!
Ho boy. So now we're getting into those eternal, philosophical questions, ancient, evil artifacts, and whether or not they can ever truly be used for good. Yep. This just got real.
...Y'know Midnight, you're really making this harder for yourself than it needs to be. Silly pony. *shakes head* Somehow it's even more fun to watch these things play out with someone who normally seems detached...the dichotomy makes it more interesting, I suppose. Also, unexpected cuteness is best cuteness.
Oh my gosh. The proposal. Why can't I hold all these d'aws?
Well, this chapter had a bit of everything, in the best way. Probably my fav so far. Revelations, intellectual conundrums, romance, comedy, both advances in the plot and more character driven stuff. And for having all that it still doesn't feel rushed. Bravo, sir. (Um, you are a "sir", yes? Forgive me if I've assumed...)
Corrections:
...I know, I should be taken out and shot. 
)
As I've researched father forward
farther forward (though I'd kinda like to meet this Father Forward guy, sounds like an interesting fellow. One half of Father Time, perhaps?
as I travel a great deal to the everfree forest,
Everfree Forest
But ditzy holds no odd opinion of me,
Ditzy
Short and sweet, this chapter.
I do so appreciate the more everyday bits, like working at Sweet Apple Acres...it's one of those things that just makes the whole story feel more real. Seeing what the characters do when there's nothing special going on is always a plus imo, as to immersion, but it's doubly so with a journal where its exclusion would be downright odd. Also just nice to see them struggling with the same sorts of things you might, being worried about money, etc, amidst the more interesting happenings...Midnight sure is willing to go the extra mile for Ditzy. So heartwarming.
Daddy Doo? That may be the cutest two words ever put together.
Le sigh. Mothers in law must always be evil.
That is a beautiful wedding...that line about being so wrapped up in Ditzy he barely remembered anything else actually got me really close to tears for some reason...That's not too hard to do these days, honestly, but still...
It's funny, because before and after that I was cracking up. The bit with how did they fit Daisy and Lily into the cake, and, uh, how Ditzy's "unique perspective" affected the wedding night (I so do not want to know, but it's still hilarious even while I'm trying not to figure out what exactly that might mean)...
So yeah, in short this chapter for me was lawl, then baw, then lawl again, then grrrrrr at those ignorant jerks hatin' on Ditzy. Emotional roller coaster, wheeeeee~
Corrections:
Okay, I'mma just copy most of a paragraph here because it seems to have several randomly capitalized words.
She will not let me see the Wedding dress, of course… Bon Bon and Heartstrings insist it would be bad luck if I saw it before the wedding (Silly Pony Superstitions- bah!). The dress is being made for her by Ponyville's local dressmaker,Stitch 'n Tyme, and her little Unicorn apprentice… Rarity, I believe it is? I am certain they will do a commendable job. As for myself, the suit I ordered from Canterlot should be arriving soon... I'm definitely doing this for Ditzy, as I hate wearing a Tux and Tails.
Wedding, Silly Pony Superstitions, Tux and Tails...I don't think any of these need to be capitalized. Also, tyme is not a word, and that's OK if it's spelled like that because Stitch 'n Tyme looks cool/more like a name, but just pointing it out in case it's meant to be Time (or Thyme). Aaaand you're missing the space after the comma right before her name.
>What if this turns out be a disaster?
turns out to be
>As I lay here writing this,
That should be lie. It's such a common mistake I missed it at first, but it's still a mistake, and one of my pet peeves. If you don't know why just read this 'cause that's a lot better than my rambling explanations.
>Big Mack's little sister
Big Mac's
>Ditzy threw the Boquet
bouquet
>and I'll be back to digging in the everfree forest
Everfree Forest
Edit: Saw one I missed as soon as I posted this. Murphy's Law.
>We kept getting stares by all the other couples on thier honeymoon
their
So...I kinda figured it likely Midnight was extremely magically talented, but ye gods, seeing it like this is absolutely crazy. Ai ai ai. No one should be able to do those sorts of things on a whim...it's disturbingly fascinating. Of course, I sometimes want to do worse things to people who mistreat Derpy/Ditzy, but I want it safe in the knowledge that I can't. If I actually had that power...I really don't think I'd feel that way anymore.
The golden horseshoes! OMG YES! The squee has been doubled!
The rich background continues to grow more and more epic, hitting all the sweet spots of history and mythology, two of my favorite things. I am loving this.
And now I find myself wondering about Midnight's family history...because in this story, you just can never have too many little mysteries begging to be explained...Also wondering if Midnight raising his sister and it turning out badly is in some way a cause for him being so withdrawn, or at least just cemented his natural tendencies...
And mother of all squees, I cannot wait for Dinky to arrive!
Corrections:
>and I to my dig in the everfree forest
What's that poor forest gotta do to get itself capitalized?
>He got himself all excited ,when
Misplaced space
>an ancient set of artifacts the penna forged
Penna
>and for several minutes I as stunned into utter silence.
was stunned
Nicely written chapter. Full of those everyday struggles handled in such a charming, adorable way...but not devoid of conflict and interest. It's almost like looking through a family photo album.
It took me by surprise but rang very true that Midnight would worry about Ditzy's clumsiness while she's pregnant.
The miracle of new life...I can't think of anything to say other than this is simply beautiful.
And behind it all looms the spectre of the Flashstone...if I was a gambling pony, I'd lay just about any odds that's not going to do anyone any good.
"After all, with everything we've gone through, what could possibly go wrong for us?" NO MIDNIGHT NO! The famous last words! Don't say that! Oh, what can't go wrong now?
Corrections:
>I have to stop by sugar cube corners
Sugar Cube Corner
>Daddy Doo, meanwhile, will take over Ditzy's male route.
mail
>melted away when I was the little angel the nurse placed into my arms.
Saw, perhaps? Sure isn't "was" is all I can say for sure...
>My dig is now poniting to something very exciting!
pointing
>Oh, just think of the benefits to Ponykind if I can find the flashtone,
Flashstone
>(thier words, not mine)
their
Well...I'd love to say I called it, but truth is, it occurred to me once or twice but I dismissed it...My mind=officially blown. I did think it more likely after the last chapter, with the mentions of transforming ponies, but that's about it...
I also won't pretend to have any idea how this timeline is going to work, or if it's as simple as Midnight's going to turn into Tirac or...something else. So yeah, I'm just looking forward to finding out...
I just...yeah, wow, that is a lot to absorb. It kinda feels like it all happens all at once too much, but It's not really rushed, that's what happens when someone just snaps like that...If anything, rather, my complaint would be with him having such a fully formed idea of that other form, and everything lining up so perfectly to make him think of it (and that being right before those idiots went and stirred up his wrath)--but as I said, I don't know exactly how it all fits yet, so it's rather premature to be making a judgement about that. First brush it feels a little out of left field/too convenient, but I could easily change my mind when I get the full picture...
And yeah, this whole thing just feels really overwhelming, the more so with references, references everywhere! I very much appreciated those, btw.
Corrections:
>I got us from m ponyville to the gala in a few short hours.
Random m ftw! Also, Ponyville
>a great many things ponies cannot do with there hooves alone
their
Oh, geez. Life is just no kind of fair, is it? Poor everypony...
This is just like a punch in the gut...
Just when Midnight just needs a reason or excuse to keep going, keep hoping, the Canterlot elite (plus possibly the mother in law from Hades) step in and say he's not allowed to...
And Ditzy, trying to be brave, no matter what, because that's just how she is...it's pretty hard to think of anything sadder. And that is very much how I imagine her character...
And suddenly Tambleon, which fits there so very nicely.
It always felt so spiritually similar to Midnight Castle, and Grogar to Tirek as well, it only makes sense for there to be a connection...yes, I am Captain Obvious for some reason right now. Anyway, the idea that it could have originally been a mountain village, probably with some freaky experiments going on? Pure, utter win.
Yep, things just got 20% more epic, and about 500% more tragic...
Corrections:
>causing all of the relative in the hall to fall silent
relatives
>I will spare this this journal a description of that sour old mare
Redundant "this"
>and then ponies would pat near your house could hear you crying yourself to sleep every night.
...I have no idea what that should be, sorry.
Classified?! Drat and darn and such and such-like.
...Wow. Midnight went through a lot there...of course probably mostly his own fault. At least he seems to know that...
These kinds of characters, that make me feel so conflicted, why do I have to love them so much? I don't suppose there could be a better symbol of him being stripped of everything that he was than losing his cutie mark...
In a way it might actually be scarier not hearing exactly what the "Tambleon incident" was...my own sub-conscious filling in the gaps can be so much worse than anything that could be described to me...Seriously, didn't think the Rainbow of Darkness could get any more frightening than it was in the show but, here we are.
Ah, yes, now Twilight and co. would be in Ponyville...that could make things very interesting...
Hmm, wonder if the Elements had anything to do with Tambleon being banished to the realm of darkness or whatever the heck it was called...darnit, now I need to re-watch that episode.
Oh, Ditzy. You incredibly sweet, loyal, loving pony..
. I just want to hug her!
*grumbles* Still with the haters...oh well, I'm gonna pretend they don't matter for now, and just think about Midnight and Ditzy being together again...
Corrections:
>without giving in to the evil inherit within the rainbow of Darkness
inherent
>except for the small philly's toys
filly's (unless that's some kind of a brand name, lol)
>I heard the sound the front door
sound of
>are you home from canterlot?
Canterlot
G1 references out-the-wazoo FTW.
This was a great read and though I initially had my doubts, it was woven together quite consistently. You even avoided a wristslashingly depressing ending, also without filling me so full of sap in conclusion I couldn't stand it. I initially read this on fanfiction.net and even then thinking it was an OC+canon ship I was okay with. Especially explaining the Dinky/Sparkler relation so well. After learning it wasn't
Insights into the Equestrian research and justice systems. I've always felt it's often the universe-building that can make or break a (fan)fiction.
Ohhhhhh, so "Sparkler" is Midnight Hooves' sister...I was wondering about the rest of Ditzy's family...
Of course, it's easy to be inclined to dislike her given the circumstances, but really her actions are understandable even if they're unfair and misguided. Clearly she does love her family a lot and want the best for them, with the one glaring exception of her brother...
Oh, of course things aren't going to go right for more than the briefest of moments...Never thought so for a minute. The only reason you're given hope at such times is to remind you that you do still have more to lose after all...
On the whole, it all just feels very expected, as if there wasn't any other way this could turn out...which just makes it that much more tragic.
It also maybe lessens the dramatic impact a bit as a reader, but hardly to the point where I don't care, and there's still that certain kind of satisfaction in just seeing it through and proving yourself right or wrong...
I love Ditzy in this chapter...so loving and loyal, practical but unfailingly optimistic, doing whatever she can to hold her family together. The one spot of calm in the storm.
Dinky is adorable, even while being unintentionally cruel...kids are like that. Hard to imagine anything more heart-wrenching.
Corrections:
>I Groaned
groaned
>my invitation to come to Ditzy's and I's wedding.
Normally the rule is only the second noun of a compound possessive gets the 's (if they both do it'd mean two separate weddings, one belonging to each of them). But one of them being a pronoun does make this an exception...in this case then it should be "Ditzy's and my," but if that sounds awkward to you, you could always reword that so you can just say our wedding or the wedding.
>Imagine my surprise, them,
then
>exposed to my sisters tall tales
sister's
>And her jealously of how much of her mother's attention I'm taking away from her.
Incomplete sentence. "And she was jealous" perhaps? Something that involves an actual verb...
>Dinky has been giving me a wide breadth
This isn't exactly wrong, but the usual phrase is "a wide berth."
>confirmation of my presence in Ponyville soon spread throughout ponyville.
Ponyville on that second one, and on that note using the proper name twice there sounds awkward and redundant to me...I think it'd flow a lot better to say either, "confirmation of my presence in Ponyville soon spread throughout town" or just, "confirmation of my presence soon spread throughout Ponyville."
The "other characters" tag is useless if nobody uses it.
Well despite a few errors, I think this is shaping up to be mighty interesting. I look forward to coninuing it. Wow that was pathetic.
Okay here's more words. I love Ditzy's character here, but havining read Twilight then, Twilight now, I SPOILER SPOILER and it just makes me SPLOILER. I guess that's all I can really say at this point.
Penna... especially after Wind WHistler's comment up there I am now VERY curious about these guys. I've seen a lot of G1, but I don't think I've seen all of it. I'm guessing they were a one episode thing or maybe even something from something outside the show? I have no idea. I'll just wait for your story to explain them.
I actually like that it's set up in a journal format. It has a nice sense of style that allows for a swift storytelling but also to mull on whatever is important to the main character, rather than regular story devices which must always move at certain paces. I also love the historical aspect both as an archive journal but also at Midnight Hooves' discussion of archeological digs and the finds there. It certainly perks my intrigue and I want to see more. I love that sort of thing. A well thought out mysterious history.
Oooooooh I think I see where this is going. Now I just wonder if I'm right. Onto the next chapter I go!
SQUEEEEEE! I think I was right in where I thought this was going! Squeeeeee!
I WAS RIGHT!!! This was a fun story! It was a nice way to set up how G4 will eventually turn into G1, which one would think would be the other way around, since G1 is older. I like the switch. Tirek was a cool villain in G1 and it's so neat to see the progression of this character from his conception to realization.