- Member Since 3rd Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Sep 23rd, 2016
Manes
Coffe a day, keeps the world around me grey.
Manes
Joined 3rd Sep, 2013 ·
Offline
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I like it.
No, yes.
Mmmm... TwiDash snuggles are best snuggles!
So good and fluffy <3
Oh my, that was simply nice and fluffy!
Good work you two!
Mhm. These adorkable snugglez are very cute and fluffy.
It leaves me wanting a sequel...
Awww, so cute!
Nice to know Rainbow compares Twilight to portly, potbelly porcine.
...
... ...
Come to think of it, them being sapient ponies, it makes one wonder what kind of weird fetishes Rainbow might actually have...
6406845 Plot twist: Rainbow Dash lived in a pig pen once. That's how she could compare.
6406327 yes they are!
The fluffy feels is everywhere! Nice job, both of you.
It feels like we're missing some dialogue here. Otherwise it was very cute.
6407400 Yeah, feels like a paragraph fell out onto the floor someplace. Check under the table!
Twi's definitely got the right of it, though... Dash should wake her up every morning like that.
Hmmm. Manes are demons from... the Abyss. Coincidence?
6407400 Thanks for pointing that out. Fixed!
6407430
He knows too much.
gifcrap.com/g2data/albums/Misc/Slow%20motion%20gun%20firing.gif
Well, this is basically ridiculously adorable. I do quite like how there's a lot to suggest the sort of relationship and dynamic the two have without resorting to the literary equivalent of 'tell don't show'. There isn't any "Rainbow wore the trousers in the relationship because of the 1987 Treaty of Blah blah", it's just implication and mood. Very well written, dude/dudette. Thumbs up and continue to be awesome.
6408855 Thank you.
6409126
Great
Soooo, adorable! I love it. Twidash is the best ship there is in this fandom.
You know, the thing I dislike most about my love for romantic fluff stories is that I'll read a good one, and...then it's over. It's not part of a grander tale, just a good piece written on it's own.
And I understand that, sometimes, it's because the author is practicing for a bigger project, or they wanted to get some writing out of their head for others to appreciate, but...that doesn't make it feel any less like the tiniest bit of a great story.
6431770 Maybe if The Abyss is open to a sequel then we'll see.
6431874
It's more that this feels like a piece that fits into the second half of a longer story. That's not a criticism or a request, simply a statement.
I could make analogies, but the point is that I'm not begging for a sequel. I'm just lamenting that my tea doesn't have any biscuits or crackers. Er, I mean, that the story has the makings of a beautiful piece, were it properly juxtaposed with the right context.
Cuteness overload
Usually I'm more in charge for one-shots, and short stories, but this really, really make a great point for something bigger, thought it's yet awesome in this way also
Best of luck with further writtings
very nicely done.
The first quarter of this could've used a bit more "show, don't tell" when Dash was trying to stir Twilight from her sleep. Her intentions would've been more strongly conveyed through her actions, and you would have had a bit more wiggle room to paint us a picture of her thought process.
Aside from that, this was nice. I'm basically observing an entire year of your improvement and you really have come a long way. A very long way. Keep up the good work.
6736505 Thank you. The abyss helped me with this one.
Very cute, smiled all the Way through the story