Ashes and Sackcloth

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Shocks

Shocks #1 · Sep 3rd, 2015 · 2 · · 2 Summer in The City ·

After nearly fifty years of fighting, a brave and suicidal plan was formed. Two of humanity's most cunning soldiers stole an enemy war craft, retrofitted Earth's most powerful thermonuclear weapon within it's hold, and flew that war craft into the very heart of the enemy pride ship. The brave soldiers sacrificed themselves for the whole of the world by detonating that nuclear device in the heart of the enemy stronghold.

I don't want to say you stole that from Independence Day...

But you literally just stole that from Independence Day.

Winter Rosario

Winter Rosario #2 · Sep 3rd, 2015 · · · 1 No Sleep Till Brooklyn ·

Not bad. There is a few jargon word's, some minor repetition, punctuation error's, and slight context misconception. Some more work on description is needed. Other than that... Not bad.

Winter Rosario

Winter Rosario #3 · Sep 3rd, 2015 · · · 2 Summer in The City ·

I agree, but if it used correctly, it can be a positive for story development so long as it's not the same as the movie in the resolution. BTW. MAKE SURE it does NOT become similar to the movie! Otherwise, the is the possibility that this will get taken down.

L0rd0f7hund3r

L0rd0f7hund3r #4 · Sep 5th, 2015 · · · 2 Summer in The City ·

6387696 I'm going to sound facetious when I say this, so I hope you will forgive me when I say, "Thank you very much, Kanye West."
WinterSolstice321 said:

I agree, but if it used correctly, it can be a positive for story development so long as it's not the same as the movie in the resolution. BTW. MAKE SURE it does NOT become similar to the movie! Otherwise, the is the possibility that this will get taken down.

I know that it sounds familiar, but in my head, Independence Day and my fic part ways in terms of execution. If you can wait until Chapter Five, tentatively titled 'Operation: Jericho,' then you'll see how I did things. The boys that handled The Big Hit are much younger than Steve and David in ID4. Issac, the pilot, is only 13, whilst Levi, the weapons specialist, is all of 16. And they are part of the Israeli Defense Forces, I might add. That's all the spoilers I'm throwing your way.
6389796 Yeah, I haven't properly plotted this yet. I just started writing the day after I got the idea. I need to make outlines for the chapters I had planned and see about getting some editors.

Topaz Moon