- Member Since 28th May, 2013
- offline last seen 6 days ago
L0rd0f7hund3r
I'm a quasi-professional internet technologies specialist who dabbles in fanfiction. I write, draw, and sometimes edit. When I'm not creating, I'm sleeping. Mornings are my mortal enemy.
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This is going to be a fun read.
Seriously though I think that you've done an amazing job of expanding on the Vogonverse. I shall read and watch this story with great interest.
Wow. Fluttershy is my second most favorite pony. I am most definitely following this.
Билли Мейс OXY CLEAN
BILLY MAYS OXY CLEAN
YAY! MORE CLOP...
keep up the good work, im looking forward to reading more.
and I hope LordFreiza likes it too;
exp what?
grinding monsters? using exponential function?
I didn't read this (and probably won't due to the following, explanation at the bottom) save for the description and I figured I'd point out a major error. The US Army doesn't have, and never has had, a rank of "Specialist Sergeant". The closest it ever had was Specialist [6th-1st] Class, but those have been removed in favor of just the Specialist rank. Besides that, a Specialist is a rank that doesn't have any command authority (they are not expected to be in charge of anything, as a general rule). A Sergeant is in charge of squads, and two ranks higher than Specialist.
If you are going to use the US Army in your fic, do those of us who actually served a favor and do at least some basic research. That one mistake tells me that this fic's quality is going to be poor as even the smallest amount of research can point out that error.
This story seems nice.
4981500 Sorry about that. I spent more time researching locations within NYC to pay much attention to official Army ranks. Now that I have done the proper research, some of the interactions between Ark and the rest of his fellow soldiers is laughable stupid. I'll be editing this chapter and the prologue to rectify this error. (In my head cannon, Ark is an E-5 prior to his medical discharge. I've heard some talk about discharged soldiers getting permanent ranks. If it's true, or if you can confirm this, I'll make sure it's reflected in throughout the story. He'll stay a Non-com, by the way.)
4981273 I'm fixing that now…
4981911
As Enlisted, you don't keep your rank after discharge (save for those who retire), Officers do. This is for official, US Government documentation, of course. Most people will still call someone who was a Sergeant and later honorably or medically discharged a Sergeant. I know a few vets that are always addressed to in mail as SFC Smith, or 1SG Smith, despite not officially having that title. I believe it just boils down to a respect thing. Or it could just be the fact that they still hate being called "sir", like any good NCO
As for whether I actually read it or not, just after I posted that, a friend did recommend it (though, he does have a habit of pulling pranks on me [like recommending a story, and sending me a link to a chapter of Twilight or a scat-porn story
]). I might lurk for a while before making a final decision, but clop in general is a negative for me so I avoid stories that are M-rated with the sex tag (though, I have read a few stories that contained it, though it wasn't the focus, that I really liked so I'm not 100% opposed to reading them; if what he said is true, this might turn out to be another on that really short list).
4981958 I'll keep that in mind. For now, Ark remains an E-5. As for the clop, in my head, I hadn't planned on anything remotely sexual until after chapter 10 or so, though it remains to be seen if that will be the case. Right now, nothing is set and all things are pliable.
Is the good doctor Ozbourne going to become a pegasister, then receive her own 'Help Mate'?
4982067 Unknown at the moment. I'm still working on how Doc Oz is going to play out in this fic. Her association to Ark and Fluttershy is going to tip the scales one way or another, I think. It'll have to wait for another story…
Twenty grand for sentient life?
Quite a bargain.
I too have used netflix to assess the value of my life.
Already twice? Doesn't seem right to me...
4983099 it's a steal!
4984447 Corrected. I'm gonna need an editor before long…
This is not a bad story at all. Altho I might pass over the clop portions, I like seeing characters like this.
I think Flutter's personality is fairly spot on, except a small detail where she would be so publically affectionate.
Since I am married, My wife does enjoy holding hands and such, but saves the more affectionate shows like kissing in private, and I can respect that.
Tho it is fun giving her a light pinch on her southern-belle rear.
I do have a possible plot addition for you if you like... Would you entertain the idea of Flutters getting in contact wit. the other 'character's made from the same corporation? If so, I can offer some. outlines or small ideas.
PM me a note if you wish...
Kimonoskunk
4986374 Well, the Fluttershy we see during group sessions is a different Fluttershy than what appears on the show. The Fluttershy Ark first meets is more akin to the shy, socially awkward Pegasus we all know and love. (Also, Lordfrieza's head canon says that there are eight season of FiM, so she may have had more character development than we know of.) Also, Flutters will be making contact with other Vogon cultivated entities. (In my head canon, she greets and promptly ripas into Edward Cullens. Yes, that Edward Cullens.)
Ahhh thank you for the quick reply, and I do see your points.
Very good then, you now have a reader and follower.
Kimonoskunk
Ps... I had to wikipedia who Edward was... my mistake... derp.
4986835 Sweet!
Being in the army, this is interesting to read.....
Wow, the amount of thought that must have gone into this story is amazing. You've created a very interesting character with a fantastic (albeit tragic) set of circumstances. Well done
This story is beautiful. I can't wait for the next installment.
4991286 The schedule I have will have Chapter 2 published on Friday next (9/19) . I wanna see if I can double publish chapters on that date. (Chapter 36 of Friends With Benefits The Mysterious, Marvelous, Magical All Star Plumbers Crack Tour and Chapter 2 Summer Grasses… Settling In)
4991313 Sweet, I'll wait patiently till then.
4991313 awesome story, can't wait for more!
Sounds like Fluttershy was a godsend for this veteran.
She's pregnant with triplets!? Sympathetic wince for Ark. Uh-oh, I smell a love triangle brewing...
I had to re-read this part because I thought that Joey said "nopony". I realized he didn't but just to possibly help in the future, if ark is quoting someone, including himself during the war, it would be the non pony version.
I don't mean to be a jerk but my mind just goes on tangents and I feel like I have to say these things.
5014785 Corrected.
5015900 awesome story
Fluttershy and Ark are really adorable together, aren't they? I hope we get another chapter soon.
... I'm going to have to reserve a character in the group. I won't be able to publish anything for a little bit, but Cyberpunk is a devilish little verse that I know and love oh so much...
Wait, did the Doc. really say everypony? I think Ark is not the only brony in the group now.
"his"
Extra capital letter
5025226 I need a better editor...
5025138 I'm glad somebrony's noticed!
5024256 That they are.
5024538 Good luck!
5026983
I'll take the job.
5030742 Excellent, you're hired!
5031890
I'll be your backup/co-editor!
5032042 Right on!
I'm kind of forced to read this, since I'm a writer of the Vogonverse, so here's my review in 3 words.
THIS IS AMAZING!
5040858 Why thank you! It's always nice to hear kind words from a fellow author.
5040931
I MUST MEET FLUTTERSHY AS A MAID!
Calm down Babs.
NO. I NEED HER SO BAAAAAD!
A-anyway, keep up the good work!
5040951 Will, do. By the way, Fluttershy will be turning up at Andy & Pinkie's wedding in a tuxedo dress!
5041084
and Jacob and Babs will be there as well, both wearing men's tuxes.
5041092
5041242
Babs just likes that kind.