Average Joe's New life.

by Kuroy

Slice of day.

Joe stood there in the doorway to the library while Pinkie Pie pronked her way towards Twilight.

“TWILIGHT!”

The surprised, studious librarian turned princess, tore her gaze from the ancient tome she was reading and smiled at Pinkie.

“Hey, Pinkie. What brings you by?”

“A. New. PONY!!! His name is Really Average Joe.

He showed up in Ponyville last night so I gave him the nighttime tour and now that it’s daylight I’m giving him the daylight tour.

He wanted to check out some home improvement manuals and I was like Yay, 'let’s go to Twilight’s castle',

but then he was like ‘what about the library,’

and I was like ‘gone with the mountains’.

Then he said ‘what mountains’ and I said

‘EXACTLY’.”

After finally breathing in Pinkie beamed a smile. Twilight knew better than to question Pinkie’s lung capacity, though Joe was starting to think she had an extra set of lungs. After soaking in all of what Pinkie had to say Twilight turned to Joe, still in the doorway, standing thirty feet away.

“Um. Could you come here? I don’t like yelling in libraries.”

The distracted stallion scrambled up to the table Twilight was sitting at. A warm blush of embarrassment for being awkward spreading across his face, he bowed.

For the second time today his face was met with dust and dirt on the shiny crystal floor.

“Princess Twilight, I am happy to meet you.”

He got up, a dirty spot upon his muzzle. Normally with a blue coat, it was hard to tell when Joe was dirty, but this spot was nice and dark and nearly a perfect circle.

Joe began telling Twilight his story. Twilight only heard part of it. She was a distracted princess. The spot on Joe’s face was sending alarming implications.

MY FLOORS ARE THAT DIRTY

What am I going to do?

What if Princess Celestia finds out?

Worries kept abounding anew in the alicorn’s head. All notions that were, of course, overly dramatic and improbable. Until one phrase snapped her from her panic.

“I was hoping to find a job in Ponyville cleaning.”

“Cleaning..

Cleaning…

Cleaning….”

Pinkie echoed the word into the background.

“THAT’S IT!” Exclaimed Twilight. She cantered around the table until she was face to face with Joe. He backed up hesitantly.

“Joe. How would you like to be my serva-I mean. How would you like to have a janitorial position here at my castle?”

A strained smile spread across Twilight’s muzzle.

Joe looked at Twilight,

then the floor,

then Twilight,

then at the spaciousness of just the library,

then Pinkie with a pair of Gauncho Glasses…

Pushing that last image aside Joe looked the young Alicorn in the eye. Sure it was a big castle, but once it was clean it should stay clean for a while with little bit of maintenance. But still it would be a lot for one pony.

“Would I be the only one working here?”

“Of course not. You would have Spike to help you out ever once and awhile. I will also probably looking into hiring some more ponies to work here at the castle. So what do you say?”

Hearing that he wouldn’t be the only pony working there for long gave Joe some relief. It was easy money and he felt lucky that he could find a job so soon.

“I would love to Princess Twilight.”

“Please, call me Twilight. We can get the details of your payment and you benefits lined out later. Could you start this weekend?”

“Sure I don’t see why not.”

Now financially secure, and missing a certain pink pony, Joe found a home improvement book. And started to make his way out to the market. Thankfully Pinkie had shown it to him the night before so finding it was fairly easy.

Ponyville, for its size was an active community, and it only took Joe a little asking around to find the things he needed. He didn’t have much in the way of bits right now so a trip to the hardware store was not an option, but he did manage to get himself some groceries to last him until the weekend.

After gathering said groceries, and a pillow for his bed, Joe headed home. It was only noon, but Joe knew it was going to take all day to clean up the house.

The first thing that struck Joe as odd as he was arriving home was the door.

That horrible door.

In defiance it had forsaken its place on the ground and was upright again.

Joe shook his head at the thought. The door isn’t alive Joe. Someone must have been neighborly and fixed it. It was a concept that gladdened Joe and with a smile he strolled over to enter his home.

He stopped short of the door giving it a wary glare.

The ancient door seemed to loom over Joe. Like an eldritch creature or like…

It was falling.

‘It is falling.’

As the heavy oak door fell on Joe pinning him to the floor his only thought was of fire.

Sweet.

Glorious.

Fire.

Gathering his wits, and plotting the demise of the dense, dented, and dutifully devious doorway, Joe levitated the offending entrance device and placed it to the side.

Brushing himself off with his magic he made is way inside.

He felt the blast before he heard it.

Party cannons are not gentle.

“SURPRISE!!”

Joe, now dangling by some streamers on the chandelier, was amazed to see Pinkie and what seemed to be the whole of Ponyville in his home.

His home, which was now spotless and cobweb free, was decorated for a party. A pegasus with a rainbow mane helped Joe down.

“Welcome to Ponyville. I am Rainbow Dash. Resident weather captain and soon to be Wonderbolt.”

Dash spoke with an arrogant confidence, but Joe didn’t mind. She at least had been the first to help. Without missing a beat Pinkie was upon Joe, introducing him to everyone in Ponyville.

There was cake, there were games, and thankfully there was a cleanup crew. Joe enjoyed himself and after partying the afternoon away. Finally after everything was cleaned up and everypony else was gone he turned to Pinkie.

“Thanks again Pinkie. You sure know how to make a new pony feel welcomed.”

“Your welcome. Don’t be a stranger. And feel free to get friendly.”

Pinkie whispered the last sentence seductively with a wink and a grin causing Joe to blush.

There were not many things that Joe could not do.

And managing not to stare at Pinkie’s flanks as she sauntered away was one of them.

Author's Note:

Woot CHAPTER UPDATE. LOOK AT ALL THOSE DOWNVOTES,

DISCORD WOULD BE PROUD.