"There's no such thing as half a sandwitch. It's only a smaller sandwitch." -Me
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During the events of Nightmare Moon's return, a strange young man appears in Equestria. Just who is he? Not even he knows. For some reason he can't seem to remember anything except his name. He seems fun-loving and kindhearted, but these strange abilities leave some skeptics.
Just who is Monkey D. Ace?
One Piece / My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover with a few twists added into it.
(Not Portgas D. Ace or Monkey D. Luffy.)
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Totally awesome!!
This story seems interesting. I loved the for scenes and Ace'b simpleminded beliefs clashing with Nightmare Moon and Celestia's reasons for fighting was entertaining. I hope to see more of this.
ONE PIECE!!!
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I hate to see this great idea suffer, but its too fast paced. You began this story by practically smacking ace dead into the middle of a battle. Not an ounce of warning or backstory as to why he ended up in such circumstances either. This was supposed to be a prologue.. yes? Do you understand what a "prologue" even is? It is solely for the introduction of a firm setting to your story, but i am more lost than i was before i even began reading. Also, your grammar is unsatisfactory when stated nicely. Now, youre still quite early into this series, so my advice to you is to re-do the entire thing, get an editor, and study up on Ace. His full name is Portgas D. Ace, not Monkey D. Ace. Lastly, get a good proof reader. And seriously, SLOW DOWN.
6373460
First off, this isn't Portgas D. Ace. I want to make that known as clearly as possible to anyone who might think he is. He isn't. If you'd noticed the bottom of the description, it says that this story is after One Piece. And I don't mean right after the raise of Pirate King Luffy, much later. Both Ace and Sabo are dead, so the Mera Mera No Mi is completely up for grabs and the new Ace here is the one who grabbed it.
Second, the fast pace without any explanation or backstory is all past of the story that will be explain in future chapters. I don't want to give anything away so just read the rest when it comes out if you really want one.
Third, his name, personality, devil fruit, straw hat, and even having no knowledge able his abilities and more will also be explain in the future. I'm the type of guy to plan out my stories in advance and have planned out everything that I think someone could want to know thought the story. The answers aren't going to come right at the next chapter, so it may take awhile. But, why it will take awhile will be explain sooner.
Fourth, I thought a fight to establish Ace's general abilities would be a good idea and hopefully a somewhat unique why to first introduce a character. If you don't like the way the story goes, too bad. It's my story I'll write it however I damn well please.
Finally, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE WAY I WRITE?!?!?!? If you got a problem then just say so.
6373560 Sigh, i should have known you were one of those types. Listen, a thing that will royally screw you over on this site is to fight against helpful critism. I dont have a problem with you, no one does. Its called tough love, and if you wont make an effort to make this horrible story better, you'll fail. Simple as that. I can see that you were trying to pull off a start to the story where the character was already entangled in some sort of mess to grab the readers attention.. but not only is this a terrible idea, the way you went about executing it had next to no quality or sense. And lets clear something up, i am NOT disregarding the small amounts of effort you put into it. It is because you tried that i am trying to help you. You need to learn better ways to transition to a next word or thought without making this story's pacing feel like a turtle on a treadmill. I found it hard to read through this whole chapter, and there is no doubt that many others feel the same way as i do. And also, Aces name is Portgas D. Ace, please look it up before you make me blow a fuse. Lastly, Sabo is alive and has won Ace's fruit at the colosseum, so there can be no valid explanation to why Ace still has his devil fruit powers. I repeat, study up on Ace and re-do this.
6373560 Oh sweet lord.. Ok now i see what you did. You named an oc character after a real character off the show.. are you serious?? Do you realize how utterly confusing you've made the beginning of your story?? Never do this. Your little oc somehow has the mera mera fruit, and he somehow wakes up out of nowhere. This feels like it could have been chapter four instead of a prologue. You need to fix your description, and you need to change his name. Even then i doubt that anyone will read a story about a one piece oc, its just too obscure of a main character for it to work. You will not be able to give him any sort of redeeming quality to intensify the fact that he is from the one piece universe, all you have is just an extremely vague way of giving him the mera mera fruit. No hard feelings, its just not gonna cut it.
FUCKIN MORE...plz
6374210
First, on my last comment, the way I shouted the last part was ment to just be a joke. Imagine a scene from One Piece where someone said something that offended Luffy and he wanted to fight as like a little joke of the series that doesn't actually lead to a real fight, anime does it all the time.
Second off, I'm still just starting and aren't very good at writing. To be honest, I'm writing this story because my mind likes to think things like stories and stuff through to no end and to gain experience to become better at writing for another story I want to do. If I do become better in the future and find things I don't like in the prologue then I will rewrite it.
Third, if you don't like the similarities of Monkey D. Ace and Portgas D. Ace then, well I'm sorry but the way I planned out the story involves these similarities. I put some really effort in my story and, quiet frankly, I don't want to change it.
Finally, I respect your opinion and thank you for it, but even if this story only had one like and ten thousand dislikes and got hundreds of hateful comments each week, I'd still keep writing. I write this story for me even if no one else likes it. And honestly, if that did happen I'd just be amazed that so many people even came and at least red a little of my story to begin with.
6374653 Not telling you to stop writing. Im telling you to fix your writing. I originally thought it was a good idea, but it was sort of ruined for me. Im telling you this for future reference and if you dont want to change the story, fine. Fine by me.
You've caught my attention, I like the way you've made it as a mix between Luffy and Ace. But does this mean that this guy is Luffys son? And that he passed the straw hat down to him. If so then I am here for a long time, can't wait to see how many people comment on this saying 'but Luffy was meant to be with this character'
6377999
I will confirm or deny nothing, because I don't like spoilers.
But I have a feeling you're gonna like what I have planned.
6378228 I'll take that as a yes
Ehh... I'm hesitant, but hopeful, so I'll file this away and see where it goes. I do tentatively agree however, that the naming scheme is rather confusing (especially since his outfit seems to be just Luffy's above waist clothing and Ace's below the waist garments). Plus... unlike what the description says... he seems to know who he is for the most part. Unless his name is all he knows and he hasn't realized yet that he knows nothing else.
Am I the only one who thinks that the title picture is giving me deja vu to Huniepop.
6383904
I don't see it
Ko just checking is this a humanoid or anthro story cause I think you should add the anthro tag or say it is.
just saying also great awesome job on this story.
6397448
This story has characters that are human, but have horns and wings. More about it will be explained in the next chapter.
KO thanks and hopefully Ace will fine good life with the ponies.
I ABSOLUTLY MUST READ MORE I DEMAND A NEW CHAPTER!
KO when's the next chapter we wish to know what happens next.
I bet Ace is looking for some to join crew like his father Luffy like
6429987
6425489
I'm a bit of a procrastinator. I'll get the next chapter out when I can.
6431090 KO hope there'll be some love scene and more fighting too.
KO when's the next chapter coming.
6460541
I'm working on it.
6461135 KO hope you get there soon to make this story more awesome.
6463408
Nothing against you or anything. But I really don't like it when people leave comments about a story when they haven't read it yet.
6464713
Perfectly understandable. I'd do the same with the whole outrage thing. But in the future, just recommending you read a story before passing judgement.
When will you be able to make more chapters? I have to say it was a great beginning.
I like the story you started.
6470960
Thank you. I am currently doing all I can to finish the next chapter. Even had the postpone my time on Fallout: New Vegas for the time being so I wouldn't get distracted. It's coming along nicely.
6471226 Oh Fallout New Vegas I want to get back on that as well but beating the brains out of Z's on Dead Island is so fun right now.
well do your best and all will be great.
This looks very good. I like the way you write the characters.^^
Feature feature feature
We demand more!!!!!!
6471226 KO PLEASE say that the next chapter is coming soon.
6546177
The next chapter is coming soon.
Happy?
6546263 KO thanks and sorry sometimes I can be a little impatient anyway keep up the good work.
6546263
Finally uploaded.
This is really interesting mixed with a little humor but the everyone human thing threw me off a little and hope it explains itself in the next chapter
Well, a few grammatical errors aside, this was a good read. Though I personaly find the concept of humanified Unicorns with actual horns weird (I prefer some kind of star shaped mark on the forehead or pointy ears), the rest of the story so far makes up for it. Interessting touch with genderbend Shining Armor (and probs for using a differend name than Gleaming Shield^^b), Spikes whole "Demon-type" thing too, are there no Dragons at all?
FINALY BUT MUST READ MORE!!!
6623275 KO AWESOME this chapter good hope that Ace see Luna and show off his fire power, so who is gonna be Ace's interest since this is also a love story.
6623751
No spoilers.
This was an amazing chapter. I enjoyed Ace's interaction with the girls and the talk about different types was pretty entertaining to read. Plus, Twilight's horror at Ace's lack of manners when addressing Celestia was hilarious.
6623763 KO well that's fine hope the next chapter comes soon.
Well this certainly has an interesting feel to it. The different "types" really feels like something straight out of an anime. I'm not really sure where it lies on the line between human and anthro tags, but I suppose either works just as well. Also, the Fair Maiden idea is new and interesting, though at this point I can't see a reason for it except as future ship material, or if you're really planning far ahead and need Cadence to be male for some reason. Kudos.