A Certain Unremarkable Sparkle In Equestria {An anthology of bad ideas...}

by Bumblebee Tuner

The New-Borne Identity

The New-Borne Identity

By T. C.

Twilight Sparkle, a Level 0 ESP'er code named 'Imagine Breaker' in the Academy City database, lived in alone in a third floor studio apartment with a balcony and no air conditioning. Academy City ranked most of its inhabitants based on natural psychic ability. Twilight Sparkle had none. And, while she was by all means an inquisitive and intelligent unicorn she wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Hence the reason she was currently taking remedial lessons with Button Mash, Snips, Snails, and Diamond Tiara under the tutelage of Ms. Apple Bloom. To add insult to injury, not only was she twice the age of most of her classmates, Apple Bloom was a child prodigy making Twilight the oldest pony in the classroom. Worse, Twilight Sparkle had no natural talent in applied sciences or mathematics. So, in all likelihood, she could suffer retrograde amnesia and no one would even notice. At the very least she could pride herself on the fact she wasn't as delusional as Diamond Tiara, who seemed to think being told that even among the special she was special was a compliment. Wisdom was not one of the natural gifts bestowed upon Twilight Sparkle, and as such, she wasn't considered very smart. Because she was a few years older than her classmates the closest thing she had to a friend was her Smarty Pants doll, which had been lovingly converted into a clutch cover with a purse strap for her cell phone during one of her home economics classes. Her parents had sent her to Academy City so that she might have opportunities that would be unavailable to her in Canterlot. But, considering her social status was roughly equal to her psychic ability there was little chance of it bearing any fruit unless some miracle happened.

Elsewhere Bellatrix Lulamoon, A level 5 unicorn code named 'Accelerator' in the Academy City database, spit on the corpse of her latest victim from the hive. "Pathetic." Bellatrix Snorted. 'Trixie was the highest ranking level 5 in all of Academy City. And, it was presumed she was the most likely to attain alicorn status. Hence the reason for the necessary slaughter. Although 'meat grinder' would probably be a more appropriate nickname for her, she always had the excuse she was following orders waylaying any guilt she might have felt for killing the 'sisters. It wasn't like they had souls anyway. After all, they were 'clones made exclusively for her personal use as training dummies. The 'sisters, all members of a hive mind, were Level 3 clones of another level 5 listed in the Academy city database as 'Railgun. In theory, the great and powerful Trixie would ascend to alicorn status if she killed 100,000 level 0's or more.

However, since there wasn't exactly a war to test this theory out, and no one was willing to kill that many "assets" just to find out if it would work, they used the left over clones from the muscular dystrophy trials to train Bellatrix in her special talent. That the ice blue unicorn, with ice in her veins, might reach her full potential and become an alicorn as powerful as the legendary Nightmare Moon was to much of a tantalizing a prospect to resist for any scientist. Railgun, the template upon whom all clones of the hive were based, better known as Rainbow "Danger" Dash had to be escorted at all times by a member of Judgement to ensure accidents didn't happen during the experiment. Unfortunately, Scootaloo (a level 4 nicknamed the Transporter) couldn't be with her 'sissy always. And, her scotophobia prevented her from following Rainbow Dash at night. Even with the strict curfew enforced, Rainbow would often sneak out at night to parts unknown. In spite of this, although there were rumors among Anti-Skill and Judgment that she was the terrorist blowing up assorted C.L.O.U.D. factories throughout the city. Nothing could be verified and Scootaloo would never believe it anyway. CLOUD was the largest pharmaceuticals manufacturer in the city, and considering how poorly Dash reacted when Tank died, there was no way Scootaloo would ever believe her 'sissy would put peoples lives at risk in such a reckless or senseless manner.

Today was the day that these ponies lives would forever be entangled because of a certain magical Index, Index, the unicorn formerly known as Sweetie Belle, had all memories of her former life erased when more than 100,000 forbidden books, grimoires, and tomes, in addition to other magical textbooks and necronomicon housed in Celestia's personal library and the archives within church of necessary evil were uploaded into her brain. For this honor, in spite of her photographic memory, Index had no memories of her former life because her personality was slated to be wiped as part of routine maintenance schedule to protect her from accidentally or purposely revealing the contents of the Grimiores to anyone outside of Celestia herself or the Church of Necessary Evil. Index, being sharp as a whip even before she forgot who she was, failed to see how she would know if they followed through on their promise of allowing her to remain Celestia's apprentice if she had the memory of a goldfish.

In Index/Sweetie Belle's not so humble opinion, loosing both your identity and personality was too high a price to pay for being unable to keep your mouth shut. It was bad enough she lost the former when the books reformatted her brain in the first place. Sadly, considering magic was a public secret anyway, the text were so obscure as to be ridiculous, the only way one could know she violated the trust were if they knew the text she quoted from just as well she did. And, considering she had no memories of being Sweetie Belle prior to being implanted with the 'Guilty' knowledge of dark magic and chaos theory to begin with, the only way she could avoid leaking sensitive information (or unconsciously quoting the works that made up the core of her new identity), would be if she knew how to blackmail every-pony that thought she was more evil than Silver Spoon and Peppermint Twist. However, unfortunate for the guard at least, the filly formerly known as Sweetie Belle escaped just days before the ritual that would erase the what was left of the Index Librorum Prohibitum's latest avatar, and more or less infantilize her for the next two or three months. She didn't care if she was going to be Celestia's latest pupil or personal student. It obviously didn't do Sunset Shimmer any favors. And, it went complete without saying, many of Celestia's former protégés reportedly died before they managed to become an alicorn. The only successful ascension to alicorn through magic during the last century was of Princess Cadenza, and being a blood relative of the royal family meant she never had to worry about being lobotomized.

The Church of Necessary Evil sent only two Magi to retrieve the filly formerly known as Sweetie Belle from Academy City. There were other places she could have been, and others had been directed elsewhere. But, ultimately, Index was hiding in Academy City so it stood to reason she would face off against one mage or the other. Big Mac, better known as Styil Magnus, had a legitimate excuse for visiting Academy City. Along with Rarity, her majesty's personal tailor and private assassin, the two Magi traveled beside one another in awkward silence. It was because of Rarity's skill that Celestia appeared six inches taller and ten pounds lighter in full regalia. And, although Big Mac's sisters lacked a similar aptitude for magic, both were quite successful in their own right. Applejack was a member of Anti-Skill whereas Apple Bloom was a teacher at a nearby middle school. Neither knew of his magical aptitude for fire, nor were they aware of his true name. Rarity, on the other hoof, had a 'kill anyone Index comes into contact with on sight' order. Neither were particularly fond of the mission they had been personally selected for, but lacked the necessary authority to care. Operation: 'Puppy-Smiles is Bestest Pony' was underway.

May the Helhest of Dulahan have mercy on their souls. . .

Author's Note:

A/n: This is a crossover between A Certain Magical Index/Scientific Railgun and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. I own neither series, I'm just using their characters as paper dolls for my personal amusement.

Comments

[ferret]

This reads like a news report...