• Member Since 11th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Crystal Night


Reading, writing, drawing and playing. That's my life. A normal teenager life. Also I'm Portuguese /)

Sequels1

Comments ( 33 )

As with any story sometimes there are a few errors with grammer and such, but regardless it was good! :pinkiesmile:

6382233 Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

The affection came absolutely out of nowhere. An ancient nightmare-demon ought to realize that sexually assaulting someone will probably make you horny. She's over there raping Twilight and is surprised it feels good?
Twilight should have struggled more throughout the fic, and her simple acceptance of them being in a relationship at the end was baseless and completely unsuited to what just happened--even if it doesn't involve pain, it was still rape and rape victims do not normally decide to go out with their rapists.

6387612 I don't consider this being rape, since I don't like such thing. Also, I like writing Nightmare with a more loving side.
Like I said below, my first clopfic, but I see your logic.

6387612 I suppose it depends on how one chooses to interpret it. Being a dream daemon, Nightmare could simply be responding to Twilight's (directly implied) repressed desires, hence the whole 'revenge' pretense for sexing her up. Still well too far into dubcon territory for real life, obviously, but this is fantasy sex fiction. :twilightsmile:

Either that, or Nightmare is really bad at this revenge thing. :rainbowlaugh:

To me, the storytelling seems a little rushed, but I like the ending and the letter--because I like Nighty's loving side too) She deserves more fics of this kind, maybe just more detailed)

6611352 Thanks, I apreciated the comment, I also like her loving side too, probably I will do a sequel later on.

This one is a great story too.

6956659 I'm glad you enjoy it :twilightsmile:

This isn't bad for what it is, but please put your stories through a word processor to help catch your grammatical mistakes.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story, though my first thought after finishing was
:twilightsheepish: Um Luna, I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but...

9171934
I'm still thinking about a small sequel which Twilight and Nightmare go to canterlot, and explain it to Celestia :twilightsheepish:

9172253
That would be great, I hope you do end up writing it.

I couldn't tell this was you're first clopfic, that's how well it was written.

sweet dreams are made of this...

It felt extremely similar to Nightmare Night--The Second Cumming. They're not exactly the same, but I liked that one better. This story just feels too rushed (as in, there's too much happening in a small amount of words), and there's some grammatical and other errors as well.

That send Twilight over the hegde, she arched her back upwards. Nightmare was also pretty close. "Nightmare...I-I..."- she whimpered between moans.

That sent Twilight over the edge

10462669
You're welcome. I can let you know if I see any typos and say what needs to be in their place.

That send Twilight over the egde, she arched her back upwards. Nightmare was also pretty close. "Nightmare...I-I..."- she whimpered between moans.

edge is still spelled wrong.

10462799
Late night editing is rough

What came next was a laugh, not a happy. It sent cold shivers through Twilight, it wasn't from being cold. She knew that laugh. "N-Nightmare Moon?"

What came next was a laugh. It was not a happy laugh, it was one of wicked amusement from somepony evil. Twilight felt shivers run down her spine, and they weren't from being cold. That laugh she knew very well, and the one and only mare it would come from.
"Nightmare Moon? Is that you?" she asked.

10644182
That actually makes it so much better.

"What do y-hmm..." Twilight was cut when she felt something touching her lips. That "something" was Nightmare and "touching" was kissing. She shot a glare at Nightmare, which had her eyes closed. Without Twilight knowing, she lifted her front hooves and placed them on Twilight's cutie mark, giving them a nice rub.

She shot a glare at Nightmare, who had her eyes closed.

Nightmare approached her, their muzzles almost touching. "Revenge my dear!" That was barely a whisper, but she heard that well."

The " after well. shouldn't be there.

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