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Book 2
Now that Applebloom has returned home safe and sound, Ponyville moves forward with preparation for a seasonal celebration. However, it's never that simple. The Cakes are worried about strange creatures called Mites, Rainbow Dash has been grounded, and Applejack refuses to let Applebloom out of her sight. And to make things more complicated, guests arrive that aren't what they seem . . .
Being edited by Jigoku Luna
“She doesn’t know yet. I really should tell her before I put a needle in her eye.”
By the way, the stories mention are real and they are very good. The Last Unicorn is a novel written by Peter S. Beagel. Excellent book and I have own and reread many times.
The second story is I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. It's a short story by Harlan Ellison. It's pretty dark, as dark as Cupcakes or Rainbow Factory. Check it out. You should be able to read it online. Just google it.
im guessing canterlots north? so they think one of them is the new teacher? (since she mentioned school)
also: victory jam and jelly jam, wierdest names ive heard for ponies
on the bright side though if a troll ever asks her "u jelly?" she can answer "yes, yes i am"
>>703994 That was inspired by the reaction I had when I saw a clip on youtube of a man in Asia dying chicks. I had clicked on the clip expecting to see him gently bathing the chicks in the dye, but he dumped them in a bucket of dye and mixed them around in it with his hands and then poured them into a crate. Honestly, I don't really hold with anything that could potentially hurt any living thing, but the thought of Fluttershy's reaction was priceless.
Well... they are certainly tailing behind in their primary mission of gathering as many military-relevant details as possible. Of course Ponyville was a bad target to do that anyway. But now that they have wasted their first couple of hours waiting and looking around (and either enjoying all the cute things or getting annoyed by them) - of course with drawing a lot of suspicion upon themselves - they hopefully found out that dropping missiles on Ponyville has zero militarily value.
Ohh well, at least they learned a bit more about the inhabitants that might be useful to know if they decide on negotiations. Which they had fortunately had kept open by releasing Applebloom in the prequel. Having saved her makes such a much more positive impression than being the aliens with a base inside the forest where a little filly was found dead under mysterious circumstances...
Of course playing teacher will almost for certain make this a 48 hours mission instead of the 24 one. Interesting to see that the commander had decided to wait that long, she seems to hate (in her view) unnecessary proceedings and get things over with as fast and cleanly as possible - as we could see this time with the chickens...
Talking about Applebloom, I guess it is about time that she starts finding out what exactly happened to her. The two visitors have now met most of the main characters so the story can proceed.
I mean, it obviously wasn't the humans who collected those other two "samples" that are missing in Canterlot. Or the treats that were put out to appease the "mites".
>>711340 They got pretty much swept up by Ponyville citizens, much like Twilight Sparkle did when she first arrive. And above all, they want to keep their cover so instead of fighting against the tide, might as well go with it. Trust me, Noa doesn't sit around doing nothing. She's constantly collecting information visually. A social gathering such as a festival is a good way to gather information as with getting her hands (hooves) on elementary history book.
Jelly and Victory did take over few chapters, and the story will swing away from them toward the other characters. And there is a lot more going on than just two humans spying on ponies.
Seriously, what did Laotaner expect? She was making Briggs uncomfortable at every opportunity, making her feel as unwelcome as possible - while the pony population does exactly the opposite (well... except for two mean fillies). It almost looks like she wants to cause a new "Equestria Embarrassment" to prove once more why those TIGGERs where put out of service.
Well, looks like she at least got everything she could get out of that elementary history book. Because I bet otherwise she would have left Jelly out there while she finished reading.
*cough* Ohh well, while I certainly have little sympathy with the commander I still think she will make the right decisions on what there next steps on Equestria should be.
On the other hand it is finally the ponies turn to get some insight into the past events. Twilight has already made the first step and that picture (together with Appleblooms memory if she can unlock it) should finally put her over the edge and solve the conspiracy behind the disappearance of Applebloom, the mites and a certain Red Comet that she seems to have forgotten about...
Beside a few homophones and other minor mistakes ("Then unicorn spies absorbed into the party.") there were - again - no major issues with the chapter. Except... well, the "how the Elements of Harmony vanquished the Changelings that threatened the Royal Wedding". Silly Twilight, you sure did a lot during the wedding but actually defeating the changelings was not your (or the elements) feat this time. 
>>776094 Alas, I make some mistakes which I will fix soon.
The ponies will continue to chip away at the truth until it is revealed, though whether they find the truth in time or not remains to be seen.
Laotaner has spent a life time in the military and decades being a commanding officer. She's used to giving an order it and being obeyed. Briggs is so green, she smells of domesticity, something which Laotaner has forsaken for her own reasons. But that's giving a bit too much away too soon.
Yay, a new chapter. And just a few hours ago I was wondering when it would come out.
Though, to be honest I am not sure what you wanted to tell in that last paragraph. Behind them, a wire stretched across the doorway at the bottom and at the base of the bottom step a blue blur swooshes by leaving behind a large rock the size of a pony’s head.
I get that Jelly somehow injured herself after trying to run after Applebloom (I think) - and that Applejack had somehow just found her sister - but otherwise it almost sounded like a camouflaged blue Leprechaun set up a weird trap for her to trip over.
>>821713 Hmmm, may have to reword that bit.
Basically, what happened was that a wire that was laying across the door, unnoticed by the fillies, was pulled taut across the doorway and a light blue streak crossed the ground before the bottom doorstep and left behind a large rock.
I wanted to build up tension during the scene of Apple Bloom going through Jelly's bag with the owner in the next room. I was listening to the music for Nightmare at 20,000 Feet for inspiration while I wrote.
snow white name I really like her... name?
She was able to see the cutie mark on his face was a sword Face?
She was more than happen to seclude herself away
Well, I was happy to find another chapter in my inbox. And it seems like things are really starting to speed up, yay. Lots of things happening simultaneously. Even the commanders favorite messed up.
Of course the greatest mystery is how Briggs tuned back. Rare side effect? I don't think so. My bet is on whatever is causing the mysterious incidents happening lately (at least those not caused by the humans). I guess Victory had visited her earlier this morning because otherwise I couldn't imagine her being so calm in front of the class after she had learned that Laotaner disappeared from her room last night (and to her knowledge: Now in human form.).
i like where this is going
victory is psychooooo......
She stopped eating when there was only a flower. She wanted to if a flower would taste just as good only one flower left? She wanted to know if...
Spike was at her side, fear and concern written in them and across the room Apple Bloom huddle in fear. With them, you mean the faces of Spike and Applejack? Also, huddled. (BTW, the sentence means that Apple Bloom was on her own, right? Guess we will have to wait until the next chapter to know how much of her Memory the spell recovered but I guess up until she felt unconscious in the river, before getting brought into the ship.)
Well, these were the two parts where I stumbled while reading. Otherwise it was again a great chapter.
Still, many open questions. By now I am certain that there is a third force, which is actively trying to prevent the ponies from finding out about the humans. And it seems to be one with "magic" abilities, seeing how it has messed up Twilights spell just before Apple Bloom woke up in the ship and replaced it with... something else. Despite the similarities in the "Run little pony / Run little Rabbit" issue, I think whatever haunted Twilight in that spell backlash was not Laotaner. Sure, she is cold and bitter - and seems to be killing off people who she conceives a thread all too readily. Seriously, if she got a Yeoman that was clearly ordered to spy on her (because that spy clearly lacks the motivation to do so on herself) and she discovered that already... why not use that knowledge to let Briggs find whatever Laotaner wants? Instead of risk getting someone assigned who is better at that job than her.
Still, coming back to Twilights "vision": The commander did not strike me as particular raging or needlessly violent (as opposed to "adequate violence", whatever that means to her) like the "cloud" was.
So. Still many questions open (actually more than before). We also had a lot of development for Jelly/Briggs... she is becoming more like a pony every time.
Laotaner considers anyone on her crew that spies on her a traitor and she does not stomach traitors very well. To her, being on part of a crew is a code of honor. You do not leave a soldier behind. And she is quick to take any rebellious actions as personal insults to her leadership. Secondly, she just dislikes Briggs. At one point in your life there is this one person whom you just hate. Not that the person did anything to you personally, but something about them just irks you the wrong way. That is what Briggs is to Laotaner because they are polar opposites. Where Briggs/Jelly was intrigued with the ponies, Laotaner was annoyed and frustrated.
Yes, Briggs is becoming more pony like because she is opening herself up to a new culture and finding it quite nice.
As for whether Laotaner is the Cloud or not . . . let's just say there is a reason why Laotaner is the way she is.
>>895243 I've dropped subtle hints that Mikala Briggs was investigating Laotaner for personal reasons. She said multiple times that she had been raised by her grandparents, and after Smokey accidentally insulted her she had that monologue to herself about enlisting for the wrong reasons. Also, it was her idea to start calling Victory her mother when they first met the Apple family.
I was afraid that you guys would figure it out before I could reveal it in this chapter, but from the responses I am pleased that no one saw this coming. 
Just a quick question: Did anyone figure it out before Jelly had to spell it out for Victory?
Seriously?
Well, didn't see that coming either. (Not until Briggs said it was the day she was born.) I guess never hearing anything about her parents should have been enough of a warning. On the other hand I never imagined that Laotanner would "forget" that she had a daughter. Even if she hadn't followed her live at all, at least when she got assigned a new crewman of the right age, the right birth date and born on the right planet and hospital she should have double-checked to see if this wasn't the child she had just given away after birth. Guess it was her own negligence.
Otherwise, it looks like a few close encounters where at least delayed for the time being. Twilight getting calmed down, Applebloom being promised to be told the truth, Laotanner having time to rethink the whole burying-my-pony-daughter-and-hope-nopony-notices-it idea (even if she decided to leave the town in the very same night) and Lyra... well, at least she is not making everypony panic by telling around what she saw.
So, looks like at least the BEGINNING of Winter Welcome will be peaceful.
>>897434 When Noa Laotaner wants to forget something, she forgets it. And time does dull memory and about 23 years have past since the event that Laotaner really wants to forget. As for why Laotaner didn't recognize Mikala in anyway, I'll have some explanation in the next chapter.
Yeah, several close encounters did get delayed, but promise, there is a method to my madness and if this reveal of Mikala/Jelly's had this big a payoff, then what's to come will definitely be juicy.
And so we have the psychotic, cold-hearted, mentally and morally questionable commander gain PSI-powers... Nah, what's the worst that could happen?
Yay, more Jelly-Mane6 bonding (excluding Applejack, but she is excused). I don't know why, but it was cute.
I was already wondering about the reason for including "Ember" (beside showing that Briggs was nice, and Laotanner indifferent to everything not related to her own agenda) into this story. But it makes a lot of sense now.
Well, at least how much sense getting abducted by a group of kobolds (fairies? gnomes? leprechauns?) can get.
>>920893 I wanted to do a parallel between Jelly and Laotaner's reaction to the big secret. Jelly sought comfort with friends ( Friendship is Magic) whereas Lataoner kicked Winter out of the inn and sought companionship in a bottle. Jelly is building relationships and bridges with the Mane Six while Laotaner isolates herself. Even these women are related by blood, they are very opposite and opposites tend to clash with each other.
Not to be spoilerish, but it was very important for Jelly and Mane Six to bond. I'm glad that you like the bonding and I wanted Applejack to be there, but I felt that it was more important for her to mend the rift between Apple Bloom and herself.
Laotaner has problems. Lots of problems. I wanted to reveal it gradually. From her being a hard ass to what you see now. what will be the end result? Stay tuned.
Ember and Smokey have their roles to play.
I added Derpy because I love her and I wanted her to have a part in the story. I was planning on it being a random oc, but then I figure Derpy would be better and I had her get grabbed.
In the next chapter, things will come to a head in regards to the kidnapping.
Wait... the last chapter? You mean the last chapter of the kidnapping? Or did you plan to end this story already? (It doesn't feel like it is in a state where it can end in a single chapter...)
Otherwise: Did I miss the signs of Discord appearing? (While reading I imagined Jelly dragging a young griffin out of the burrows, until the mixture of animals got too much.)
Well, I certainly didn't expect him here. Though he probably makes more sense than the mites for what was causing the early winter.
The fight against the mites itself was quite amusing. It sounded very uncomfortable for the ponies, yet they were not backing down. Poor Rarity, hope she can savage whatever she can safe from her beautiful mane/tail...
I meant the last chapter for this Book. The story will continue in Book 3. There is no way I can end this overall story with one chapter.
There will be explanation for Discord in the next chapter.
I base what I call the Mite Fight off a Pathfinder Role Playing session I had with friends. My character ( a Rogue thief) went into the hole and mites nearly sprayed her with fire the same way. I originally intended for it to be Fluttershy to be the victim, but so far, I hadn't had much time with Rainbow so I gave her the scene.
Rarity will bounce back.
Ahh, I see.
Well, I am curious how much you will be able to wrap up in a single chapter. In "Red Comet" you manged to get things to an okay solution - meaning Applebloom was back and things returned to normal, while introducing the next steps. Yes, there were a few things left open (Briggs investigations, the missing foals from Canterlot, the preparation for the reconnaissance mission) but those felt... not immanently pressing. Like a few days could pass comfortably without much happening.
Here in "Jammin' Gemini" there are a lot more things still bound to explode. Aside from the obvious ones: Mites, Discord, kidnapped foals there are also the upcoming Winter Welcome Celebration, the Lyra Incident, the Question of the Spontaneous Transformation without Nanites, the Winter Gala with the meeting with the princess, Twilights Vision, Appleblooms second half of her missing memory, the Investigation of the Red Comet and the Invisible Drone and so many more things... and that is not counting all the relations between the characters among each other (particularly Briggs with everyone and everypony else).
Well... maybe those things aren't that pressing as well and the book could get a good ending within one chapter. But that is a lot you are carrying into the next book, and neither of it really solves the main question: What will be the fate of Equestria?
Still looking forwards to that.
>>932452 All of that will make the next Book even more explosive. LOL
But I understand what you mean. There are a lot of threads to weave together. Some of them will be address in the next chapter, but others will linger into Book 3. I think you so much for being patient with me while I write. I do plan on using book three to create more bonding with Jelly/Briggs. But I want to be careful. I don't want to turn her into a Mary Sue where she gets along with everybody regardless of her personality. I want the relationships to feel natural and make sense. Right now, the ponies Jelly feels closest to are Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy.
Also, I do not plan on shipping Jelly with any of the Mane 6. 
For several reasons. Shipping between main oc with a main canon character just smells of Mary Sue to me and I try at the utmost to avoid that. I was a notorius Mary Sue writer when I was a kid and I will try not to go down that road again. Also, Jelly is straight. She's not a homophobe, she respects all sexual and romantic preferences as long as they are consensual and respectful relationships. She is not in one iota attracted to ponies sexually. She loves them and will think them beautiful and cute, but which a lot of people feel the same way about pandas, but they don't try to have sex with them. (unless they are just sick)
epic ending
pinkie gives no fucks about horror
loving the cutie mark
also HUMANS GONNA BURN EQUESTRIA MUAHAHAH!
Well, I must admit things make a lot more sense now. So the "mites" were kidnapping foals in the believe that they could wake up discord like the CMC did... (Not a fan of the theory that a simple argument between 3 friends was enough to break him out of his stone the first time. So the idea of having the quarrel between Laotaner and Briggs being the trigger for the second awakening isn't very appealing to me either, but I guess I will have to go with it).
The visions and some previous comments about the story give a pretty good indication of what is going to happen next. I wonder if my guesses are correctly. There are still a lot of conflicts open. It is also strange how easily Laotaner accepted Discord as a "God of Chaos". Guess we will learn more about the conflict that rages in space soon.
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(though a few small spelling mistakes that i couldnt help but notice
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