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Book 2
Now that Applebloom has returned home safe and sound, Ponyville moves forward with preparation for a seasonal celebration. However, it's never that simple. The Cakes are worried about strange creatures called Mites, Rainbow Dash has been grounded, and Applejack refuses to let Applebloom out of her sight. And to make things more complicated, guests arrive that aren't what they seem . . .
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first
also WOOT A SEQUAL ALREADY!
brilliant chapter as always
(though a few small spelling mistakes that i couldnt help but notice
)
also: Laotaner, taking needles to the eye.....LIKE A BOSS
oh yeah and another thing: KICKASS IMAGE.........AGAIN!
Intriguing...I look forward to another great story.
Trevor's an idiot. Chocolate soda is awesome!
636260 I once tried Chocolate Soda and be mindful that I am a choc lover, but that was the nastiest soda I ever tasted in my life.
“She doesn’t know yet. I really should tell her before I put a needle in her eye.”
gogaminggiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Dead-Space-2-Eye-Surgery1.jpg
Can't wait for more!
I'm loving this so far.
another awsome chapter, i also love the story of how the traitor fell in love with a native so they just bombed the planet
i always thought thats how avatar would end in real life
Can't wait for another chapter!
Applejack gave the filly a firm poke to stop her staring and warmly greeted the newcomers, “Howdy, ya’ll headin’ ta Ponyville.”
A word was missing there. Other then that, great job.
666595 Corrected! :D
By the way, the stories mention are real and they are very good. The Last Unicorn is a novel written by Peter S. Beagel. Excellent book and I have own and reread many times.
The second story is I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. It's a short story by Harlan Ellison. It's pretty dark, as dark as Cupcakes or Rainbow Factory. Check it out. You should be able to read it online. Just google it.
Can't wait for more.
im guessing canterlots north? so they think one of them is the new teacher? (since she mentioned school)
also: victory jam and jelly jam, wierdest names ive heard for ponies
on the bright side though if a troll ever asks her "u jelly?" she can answer "yes, yes i am"
I guess Noa's staff didn't do much research when it came to their cutie marks.
690184
Not really. They assumed that the marks were aesthetic appeal. Not something that just appears like a freckle or a mole.
Question: Is there a way that I can add spaces between paragraphs without having to go in and manually do it through the chapter? I usually upload from google docs, and then I tried copy and paste, but still the same result.
694726 Trust me, there is more to come.
I look forward when Victory and Jelly start their first day of school.
if this is what victory does to chicks i cant wait to see her teaching children
Can't wait for more.
703994 That was inspired by the reaction I had when I saw a clip on youtube of a man in Asia dying chicks. I had clicked on the clip expecting to see him gently bathing the chicks in the dye, but he dumped them in a bucket of dye and mixed them around in it with his hands and then poured them into a crate. Honestly, I don't really hold with anything that could potentially hurt any living thing, but the thought of Fluttershy's reaction was priceless.
Well... they are certainly tailing behind in their primary mission of gathering as many military-relevant details as possible. Of course Ponyville was a bad target to do that anyway. But now that they have wasted their first couple of hours waiting and looking around (and either enjoying all the cute things or getting annoyed by them) - of course with drawing a lot of suspicion upon themselves - they hopefully found out that dropping missiles on Ponyville has zero militarily value.
Ohh well, at least they learned a bit more about the inhabitants that might be useful to know if they decide on negotiations. Which they had fortunately had kept open by releasing Applebloom in the prequel. Having saved her makes such a much more positive impression than being the aliens with a base inside the forest where a little filly was found dead under mysterious circumstances...
Of course playing teacher will almost for certain make this a 48 hours mission instead of the 24 one. Interesting to see that the commander had decided to wait that long, she seems to hate (in her view) unnecessary proceedings and get things over with as fast and cleanly as possible - as we could see this time with the chickens...
Talking about Applebloom, I guess it is about time that she starts finding out what exactly happened to her. The two visitors have now met most of the main characters so the story can proceed.
I mean, it obviously wasn't the humans who collected those other two "samples" that are missing in Canterlot. Or the treats that were put out to appease the "mites".
711340 They got pretty much swept up by Ponyville citizens, much like Twilight Sparkle did when she first arrive. And above all, they want to keep their cover so instead of fighting against the tide, might as well go with it. Trust me, Noa doesn't sit around doing nothing. She's constantly collecting information visually. A social gathering such as a festival is a good way to gather information as with getting her hands (hooves) on elementary history book.
Jelly and Victory did take over few chapters, and the story will swing away from them toward the other characters. And there is a lot more going on than just two humans spying on ponies.
Hmmm. Well well, the plot thickens.
Oh boy, how can she be so careless.
Great Chapter
773907 Thanks. Jelly is actually more of a secretary than she is a soldier. And she's in an environment that she doesn't see as dangerous at all which makes her careless.
Sorry for the delay. I have something in common with Twilight Sparkle. My brother’s wedding is coming up and instead of battling Changelings I have been battling my mother’s stress which had put her in the hospital for a day.
oooooooooh i like where this is going
also love how victory makes it very clear what will happen if jelly goes native
(nice touch)
Seriously, what did Laotaner expect? She was making Briggs uncomfortable at every opportunity, making her feel as unwelcome as possible - while the pony population does exactly the opposite (well... except for two mean fillies). It almost looks like she wants to cause a new "Equestria Embarrassment" to prove once more why those TIGGERs where put out of service.
Well, looks like she at least got everything she could get out of that elementary history book. Because I bet otherwise she would have left Jelly out there while she finished reading.
*cough* Ohh well, while I certainly have little sympathy with the commander I still think she will make the right decisions on what there next steps on Equestria should be.
On the other hand it is finally the ponies turn to get some insight into the past events. Twilight has already made the first step and that picture (together with Appleblooms memory if she can unlock it) should finally put her over the edge and solve the conspiracy behind the disappearance of Applebloom, the mites and a certain Red Comet that she seems to have forgotten about...
Beside a few homophones and other minor mistakes ("Then unicorn spies absorbed into the party.") there were - again - no major issues with the chapter. Except... well, the "how the Elements of Harmony vanquished the Changelings that threatened the Royal Wedding". Silly Twilight, you sure did a lot during the wedding but actually defeating the changelings was not your (or the elements) feat this time.
776094 Alas, I make some mistakes which I will fix soon.
The ponies will continue to chip away at the truth until it is revealed, though whether they find the truth in time or not remains to be seen.
Laotaner has spent a life time in the military and decades being a commanding officer. She's used to giving an order it and being obeyed. Briggs is so green, she smells of domesticity, something which Laotaner has forsaken for her own reasons. But that's giving a bit too much away too soon.
"It fitted her well and definitely hit her flank well."
kinky....I think you meant hid lol.
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A great update and good ending to this chapter.
Poor Jelly.
Yay, a new chapter. And just a few hours ago I was wondering when it would come out.
Though, to be honest I am not sure what you wanted to tell in that last paragraph. Behind them, a wire stretched across the doorway at the bottom and at the base of the bottom step a blue blur swooshes by leaving behind a large rock the size of a pony’s head.
I get that Jelly somehow injured herself after trying to run after Applebloom (I think) - and that Applejack had somehow just found her sister - but otherwise it almost sounded like a camouflaged blue Leprechaun set up a weird trap for her to trip over.
821713
Read back a bit and you may figure it out.
821713 Hmmm, may have to reword that bit.
Basically, what happened was that a wire that was laying across the door, unnoticed by the fillies, was pulled taut across the doorway and a light blue streak crossed the ground before the bottom doorstep and left behind a large rock.
I wanted to build up tension during the scene of Apple Bloom going through Jelly's bag with the owner in the next room. I was listening to the music for Nightmare at 20,000 Feet for inspiration while I wrote.
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yes dig your own graves
Very good.
849657 Best chapter yet?
850462 It was close to being the best.
850757 Whoa! If it wasn't the best? Then what chapter is the best?
850862 Well i liked chapter 3 the most.
snow white name I really like her... name?
She was able to see the cutie mark on his face was a sword Face?
She was more than happen to seclude herself away
Well, I was happy to find another chapter in my inbox. And it seems like things are really starting to speed up, yay. Lots of things happening simultaneously. Even the commanders favorite messed up.
Of course the greatest mystery is how Briggs tuned back. Rare side effect? I don't think so. My bet is on whatever is causing the mysterious incidents happening lately (at least those not caused by the humans). I guess Victory had visited her earlier this morning because otherwise I couldn't imagine her being so calm in front of the class after she had learned that Laotaner disappeared from her room last night (and to her knowledge: Now in human form.).
851336
Corrected. Thanks.
Things are going to start picking up.
Great chapter as always.