Gone So Long
* * *
Gone So Long
Jeffrey C. Wells
www.scrivnarium.net
* * *
"What if it all just... goes away?"
Rarity drops to all fours. Until a moment ago, she had been standing rampant, poking and prodding my crystal-studded mane with her hooves. It is a new strategy, being made up on the fly; it seems to be going well, if the state of my stylist is any measure. Rarity has utterly regained her lost composure. The errant hairs of her own mane have been smoothed back into place, and her voice has returned to that light, sweet, entirely affected Canterlot accent I've come to love. Rarity the Unicorn is mistress of herself and her world once more.
"Turns out all it took was a little personal touch," she'd been saying, as she worked on my look. "Well! That's worth a letter to the Princess, I think! I was so intimidated by the sheer complexity of your ancient and ceremonial manestyle I forewent my better judgment and relied exclusively on an arsenal of telekinetically-wielded tools instead of just putting my hooves to work. I didn't have confidence in myself. Hm... not sure how I'll spin it into mentioning the concept of 'friendship,' though. Perhaps I'll do what I always do and tack on a '...and a good friend will help you realize that' at the end? Princess Celestia usually finds that to be perfectly satisfactory. It's cheating a bit; but on the other hoof, we can't be always expected to learn lessons on the topic of friendship exclusively, now can we? Besides! I'm of the firm opinion that learning something new about yourself and your work can easily influence your friendships with other ponies for the better. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this really is a friendship lesson after all! I needn't feel even a bit ashamed. Not that there's anything wrong with doing something a little scandalous now and again. Keeps the blood pumping, I say—"
"What if it all just... goes away?"
Rarity puts her monologue on hold. She blinks.
"Sorry, Your Highness?" she says, after a moment. "If you're worried about the staying power of the Ceremonial Headdress, you need have no fear. You could practically wear this style into the thick of battle and avoid a helmet entirely." She gives an airy, musical little chuckle.
"No, no," I say. "I'm sure the Royal Ceremonial Headdress will be fine. I'm talking about everything else."
"'Everything... else'?"
I shift my head on the styling couch as best as I am able, gesturing up at the gleaming calcite walls of the Imperial Day Spa's solarium with one gold-shod hoof. "This."
"The spa?" says Rarity, frowning. "Good heavens. This place has a virtual monopoly and is regularly attended by the sitting monarch of the realm, viz., your royal ponyship. Things happen, of course, but you can't possibly be worried about it going out of business, can you?"
"No. Not that it's going to go out of business. That it's going to go away."
She chuckles again. "Come now, Princess. You're letting the Games inspector's visit get to you. I'm sure the castle tour is going just swimmingly. And when we're all done here, we'll present you to her in all your glory. Why, she won't be able to help being impressed! A perfect, exquisite princess such as yourself presiding over a perfect, exquisite city..."
"A perfect, exquisite city that, one day long ago, ceased to exist."
Rarity makes a tutting noise. "Oh, I see. Is that what all this is about? Darling—may I call you 'darling,' Your Highness?"
"You may."
"Good, because half the time I can't help myself. It's like a facial tic. Darling, I'm sure you've little to fear. I felt the force of love and unity that you and the citizens of the Empire brought to bear on that wicked shadow-king. I was right there at the epicenter, if you'll recall. Nothing vile or unwholesome could have withstood it. I am absolutely confident that King Sombra is out of your hair, as it were, and that you'll never again have to worry that he'll vanish this storied land."
"I wish I shared your confidence, Rarity."
"Many ponies do."
I smile, despite myself. "Even if you're right, though," I say. "Even if he himself is gone forever, Sombra's curse was an unprecedented use of dark magic. There isn't another place in Equestria that's absorbed so much of it. Aunty Celestia still doesn't completely understand how it was accomplished, and she's the most experienced magic-user alive. Who's to say that the curse is gone for good? Who's to say that this isn't a bubble, a high point on some sort of existence waveform? Who's to say that I'm not going to wake up in the middle of the night one evening to find myself alone in a snowstorm on the face of a dark glacier?"
"Darling—"
"I dreamed that happened once, Rarity. I woke up shaking. Shining Armor had to spend an hour talking me down over a pair of midnight herbal teas, and he doesn't even like the stuff."
"Well, there you are, darling." says Rarity. "You won't be alone. You've a husband, at least. A very commendable one, at that."
"But what if I don't have him? What if the curse takes him, too? Or takes me?" I feel the unpleasant tide of a cascading worry scenario begin to rise, and I know how foalish I'm beginning to sound. I press on anyway. Sometimes there is no helping it; sometimes it all just has to come out. "What if I'm here and my Shiny is in Canterlot, or even out on patrol; and suddenly I blink, and a thousand years have passed? Or the other way around! What if I'm visiting Aunty for tea one day, and I return to find my home and husband gone?"
Rarity deftly weaves another sky-blue crystal into my mane, securing it with a twist of her hooves. She purses her lips, saying nothing.
"I've lived my entire life without the Empire," I say, hoping Rarity's silence constitutes patient forbearance rather than disapproval. "Now, I can't imagine myself without it. Aunty says that it's more than just an assignment. She's traced my lineage; I'm a descendant of the Empire's first queen, she tells me, and the crystal ponies know it too. They love me for it, little as I deserve. This place is a part of who I am. And even if I never realized it, I was born to be part of it, too. I've been preparing to be here, to be who I am, right now, for my entire life. I can't stand the thought of it just... going away."
A braid, a twist, a tuck. Rarity is efficient and beautiful in all that she does.
"What if I lose you?" I suddenly say. "I mean... I know we don't know each other so well. But the bridal gown you designed for me was wonderful." I sigh. "Both of them were wonderful, actually, and it's a crying shame I never got the chance to wear the first one. You're all a part of my life, all you girls. What if I have to go the entire rest of my life without seeing another brilliant original creation from Rarity of Ponyville?"
"You will cope," says Rarity, trimly. "When it happens, you will grieve, and it will hurt."
I glance away, thoroughly abashed by her tone. "I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry, darling. I'm merely explaining the facts to you, because this Equestria Games business has got your head practically on backwards. 'What if' you have to go the rest of your life without seeing another brilliant dress from my hooves? As though it isn't an inevitability, some day! You will lose everything in life, darling. One by one, every little thing you treasure will be taken from you, until the final end when you lose everything that's left in one fell swoop. After that, it's anypony's guess. Fluttershy and I have had this conversation, and we've come to different conclusions, but that's well outside of the scope of what we're talking about right now. I don't want you thinking that I'm talking exclusively about, you know, the end of life. There are a thousand more ways in which good things will drift away from you. Friends move away. Business climates change. Winter comes, or is mandated, at least. In each case, the process of dealing with it is very much the same.
"The simple fact is, when you lose a button, your garment won't look right for a time, and the rest of the buttons and stitches will have to bear the weight for a while. That's just how it is. If you've taken care to nurture your garment a little in advance—kept the stitches strong and the other buttons sewn tight—they'll most assuredly be there to help support the strain. In time, you will make repairs, as you are able. It will never be the same garment again, but it is likely to be equally wearable. So, never you fear."
"It just makes you want to stop," I say. "To stop everything. To stop losing things for a while."
"To stop time?" says Rarity, smiling a little. "Our dear Twilight attempted that once, in one of her little fits. Thankfully, good sense eventually prevailed. Tell me, darling—you believe you've achieved a state of perfection here in the Empire. Everything you've ever dreamed. If you could stop time today, you would?"
"I'm not saying I actually want to, but—"
"Now let's rewind the film to your wedding day. A threat to Equestria utterly neutralized by the power of you and Shining Armor's love for one another. Love is in bloom, a beautiful bride, a handsome groom, et cetera. Had I asked you then, would you have called that a state of perfection? Everything you'd ever dreamed?"
"Yes," I say. "I probably would have."
"So you see the problem with stopping time. This beautiful city, your birthright, never to exist for you at all! Furthermore, if you were to stop time today, this instant, what about when the six of us inevitably succeed in locking in the Equestria Games for your city, restoring it to a place of prominence on the world stage rather than just a quaint relic of a bygone day? And when you and Shining Armor eventually welcome a foal into this world—"
"Stop it," I say, smiling and blushing.
"You can't possibly deny to me that you're trying," she says, telekinetically poking me with the end of a brush.
"No," I admit, "I can't."
"Surely when I ask you on the day of that blessed event, you'll be tempted to say the same thing?"
"You're right, you're right. Of course you're right."
"Of course I'm right," she says. "Your Highness."
"It's just that..."
"Mm?" Rarity arches an eyebrow.
I hesitate, trying to construct a box of words that will fit my last remaining doubt. "It's just that when things are here, they're here so briefly. And when they're gone, they're gone so long."
"Well, then, darling, all the more reason to be flagrant about them."
"'Flagrant'?"
"Of course, darling. Might I be so presumptuous as to offer you, of all ponies, a lesson?"
"Of course you might."
Rarity fidgets a little, suddenly, put into the uncomfortable position of pedagogue. "Well then," she says. "I realize the future is unpredictable, but barring some accident or mishap it seems likely that you long-lived alicorns will be around long after the six of us Elements of Harmony are gone. So I want you to carry this with you wherever you go, after us."
She puts the brush down, collecting herself for a moment. "Don't just love, Your Highness. Enjoy. Grab the things you love with all your hooves and stick your face in like there's no tomorrow. Keep drinking the milkshake until you can't pour any more down your throat, and then drag on the straw until it's bone-dry, even if you make a lot of unpleasant sucking noises in the process. And then take the little steel mixing cup they give you alongside the glass and just stuff your muzzle right in there and make a mess of your face if you need to. Break down the barriers between you and your milkshake and be an idiot about it. Because you never know when your next milkshake is coming, and it will be small comfort in your long and milkshakeless hours how properly you comported yourself drinking the last one!"
Rarity clears her throat, then, and hops down off the salon table she'd impulsively leapt up on.
"That is, ah, if nopony really important you want to impress is watching."
I beam at her. "Thank you, Rarity."
"Well, take it with a grain of salt," she says, resuming her work on one of the Royal Ceremonial Headdress's two ridiculously complicated crown braids. The other already grips my scalp in an aching triumph of coiffeusery. "I've been involved in my share of social boo-boos, after all. But I suspect that your Aunty Celestia enjoys things in the way I've just described, and it's kept her sane, respected and beautiful all her whole life long."
"Two out of three, at least," I murmur, with a wicked grin.
Rarity giggles at the scandal of it all.
The endless work of my ceremonial manedressing resumes.
"Rarity?" I say, at last.
"Yes, Your Highness?"
"I'm really enjoying the time we're spending here. But once we're done—once you and your friends do indeed win the Games for us—I would even more enjoy your assistance in wildly demolishing this ridiculous manedo and then joining the six of you in the mother of all crystal steam-sauna parties."
"How wildly are we talking?"
"Let's just say that I will quite responsibly be issuing eye protection to everypony involved."
"Will there be mineral water?"
"Yes," I say. "And it will have fruit in it. Would you enjoy that?"
"Your Highness," says Rarity, "I would enjoy that with unrestrained abandon."
"Excellent," I say.
And time, bless its beating heart, continues.
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New Skywriter story? Take it away, Twilight!
What a sweet little vignette! I'm predisposed to it thanks to my adoration of both Cadance and Rarity, but there's assuredly nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you just have to indulge. Thank you.
That was great.
Had me grinning by the end. 
Lovely! I do love your Cadænce. And your Rarity. Also your milkshake.
(It brings all the bronies to the yard, I'm told.)
"The fact is, sometimes you just want to write a short, sweet little piece about Cadance and Rarity having a chat."
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Or this.
Well, that was a collection of horsewords. Spoilers below.
Death.
I'm reminded of the saturation of stories that poke at alicorn immortality, with a tedious abundance of them focusing on Twilight suddenly becoming immortal, and all the losses such a long life will doom her to suffer through. So this is rather refreshing being about Cadance for a change of pace. It's also pretty great that Rarity directs her to how to live life. This story is, essentially, the exact answer to all those gloomy idiots, and precisely why immortality is an amazing thing that would be wonderful to have. While it is natural to hurt, to grieve, and to suffer loss, immortality also brings another sunrise that you would otherwise miss. You may lose the things you know, but that happens to anyone of any lifespan. Longer-lived beings get more things to cherish.
Aside from the central theme, this was also a great bit of character focus for Cadance. Being a princess is something of a nebulous concept to most. All too often we see princesses, kings and queens, emperors, presidents, and other government leaders only in the context of military conquest, national defense, or corruptly governing their subjects. We see things presented as "OK, so here is this bad thing, and we're watching the leader react to the bad thing." It's easy to get trapped in the mindset that that is all there is to those people. So here we get to see a leader, and while she is worried about the fate of her nation/people, it is presented in a more personal context. The focus is quickly on the fact that her subjects love her, and she doesn't want to disappoint them. The focus shifts to more personal concerns like her husband.
It really helps to make her feel more real and relatable.
Rarity was genuinely comfortable to read, and felt convincing. The choice of metaphors felt natural from Rarity. At least one sewing-related one, as well as a "this would be something anypony could relate to" sort of metaphor with the milkshakes. While we weren't privvy to her thoughts, Rarity, for the most part, came across as Rarity. Her choice of points not only worked well for an argument, but felt like ones that Rarity would make use of.
On to the technical stuff.
I realize it is a legitimate style, but I simply don't like the present perfect form. Nothing against the Fimfic author of that name, but it is simply jarring and, along side 2nd person, are among the top forms to actively destroy my immersion instead of enhancing it. They're only marginally below formats like Script and greentext.
There were a few points where Cadance speaks in fully unattributed dialogue. While it isn't unclear who is speaking, it makes for a detached feel that clashes with the other paragraphs that do narrate Cadance to us. We're privvy to her thoughts and feelings, but we're not given any context for those lonely lines because Cadance's attention is focused on letting us know what Rarity is up to. All in all, it really feels like it should be third person limited in order to make more natural transition from "describe scene" to "Cadance actively participating."
Alternatively, the opening "setting the scene" bits would fit better if they were told from a perspective that makes more sense for Cadance to be thinking them. For the most part, Rarity is behind her, so visual cues seem less appropriate. Explicit mention of a large mirror, and occasional reminders of the reflection Cadance is watching might work better. More focus on the touch and feel cues throughout the story, as well as the sounds of Rarity being in such close proximity would better sell the scene. More of Cadance's inner thoughts. If anyone should have unattributed lines of dialogue, they likely should be Rarity. That would sell a sense of Cadance not paying lose attention to Rarity, and being brought back to focus on her by some line of dialogue from her.
On to the "bad" non-technical stuff.
The "Darling" joke is rather stale by this point.
There was also something of an uncomfortable shifting back and forth between casual and formal. That Cadance never really invoked a casual interaction somewhat adds to this "stiffness." (No, her assent to Rarity calling her Darling doesn't really count). While also cliche, "just call me Cadance" would have worked wonders. This makes for a weird dynamic between the two characters. Despite Rarity coming across as nervous and focused on decorum, the conversation was philosophical, peppered with anecdotes, and touched on very personal details.
As somewhat touched upon in the technical portion, Cadance simply blurting out her nihilistic woe while getting her hair done in preperation for meeting the Equestria Games inspector felt weirdly forced. Again, we're privvy to her thoughts. Why didn't we have some buildup to that? Why didn't we have some time spent in Cadance's head, while she broods, and decides to break the awkward silence or something?
Despite the amount of review-words that seem to focus on negative criticism, this was still enjoyable to read. Once things picked up towards the middle, the present perfect form diluted around the dialogue, and it felt mostly satisfying by the end. While it could have been better, it was indeed something "tossed out" to break writer's block. It's not really a surprise that something "low effort" like this still winds up being pretty good when it comes from Skywriter. It wasn't intended to be a masterpiece, it didn't accidentally wind up one anyway, but it was a nice bit of reading anyway.
I liked this. A short and sweet story.
Hmm... Cute!
Nice to see Cadence and Rarity!
6174794
I disagree, in that I think it was well lampshaded
Also, I love me a good bit of Rarity having a solid head on her shoulders. Not that Hysterical Rarity isn't occasionally fun too...
I think we need to make it official. You are the only writer permitted to write Cadance here on this site. Everyone else must get your permission first.
Something about the fondness with which Cadance thinks about Rarity, and the other girls, here despite only knowing them briefly through Twilight, makes me happy.
I, too, feel like wallowing in unbridled hedonism after reading this.
Very well done, Mr. Skywriter.
As per your usual standard, excellent!
It's also nice to see a look at not just the immortality thing, but the wider implications of loss in general as well. And I like that it's Rarity bascially lecturing to Cadance, for even more variety.
Fluttershy seems like the last pony ti have that conversation with.
6175616
I don't know! I suspect she's got hidden strengths. She probably deals with death more than most ponies in that town.
6175616
Fluttershy deals with small, short-lived animals every day of her life, whom she nevertheless gives her heart to again and again, however briefly. She is exactly who I would expect to have that kind of conversation.
I really like this metaphor. I don't know why...
I quite like the pairing of Rarity and Cadance... For whatever reason, the two feel like they would be natural and easy girlfriends. Maybe it comes from both having crystals on their butts.
In any event, thanks for the fun and interesting diversion!
6175877
Gem-butt ponies unite! Rarity! Cadance! Lemony Gem! Amethyst star! I can't think of anypony else!
Thanks for reading, eh!
6175861
Y'know, at the risk of seeming like one of Those Authors, I rather liked that one myself.
6175193
I'd have to sling out the permissions left and right, then, because there are quite a few bang-up renditions of Cady that put mine to shame. Thank you for the sentiment, at any rate!
6175450
Enjoy it while you got it, says Rarity.
6175477
It was sort of intended as a story about the wider implications of loss, considering the real-life event that inspired it was nothing so dire as someone passing on.
6174565
Heh. Glad you're still enthusiastic, even though it's been a while! The trick seems to be "write it all, like, in one day" because the minute I give myself time to think about it I start hating it and it goes on the scrap heap. Hrm.
i.imgur.com/bp5gMcu.gif
6174603
No shame in having best ponies, not in the slightest!
6174609
Thank you!
6174676
Well, I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.
6174784
A.J. likes apples? Boy, that's quite a headcanon you got, there!
6174786
I know it seems like an obvious sentiment, but it really took me a long time to convince myself of that.
6174794
Thanks for the in-depth commentary! I really appreciate it! I think your criticisms are on the mark; the topic of loss does kind of come up out of nowhere. I mean, nothing has happened in the story itself to bring it up. I've tried to spin it as an "everything is going so well, when will the other horseshoe drop" thing, but for better or for worse the precipitating event for the conversation is an actual real-life event that I shouldn't go into here. It was just... really on my mind, today, so I wrote a story about it. And I'd agree that Rarity is a bit erratic in exactly how formal she's being at any given time. I tried to lampshade it a little but it would be better if the flaw didn't exist at all, of course.
6174799, 6174805
Thanks, folks!
6174996
Rarity so rarely gets to be the lesson-giver. If anything, I worry that she's out of character just for that reason alone, because we never actually see it in the show! I think maybe you have to go all the way back to "Suited For Success" to find a time when she's the most "in the right" one of the Mane 6, but maybe I'm forgetting one...
6176041
Well, that would be just rude. Drink your own milkshake!
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140203092704/mlp/images/thumb/c/c2/Silver_Spoon_drinking_milkshake_S4E12.png/640px-Silver_Spoon_drinking_milkshake_S4E12.png
6176062
I DRINK IT ALL UP!
6175892
Maud?
6176126
<Maud>
All crystals are rocks. But not all rocks are crystals.
</Maud>
Welcome back to writing, Skywriter.
6176054 you have a well done apple a good read, , ,
pre14.deviantart.net/9983/th/pre/f/2015/050/9/3/spike_rarity_splash_by_hillbe-d8iq6be.jpg
6176152
Thank you! I really hope it's not going to take another six months before my next one...
6176168
Thanks!
6176152 I await the day I can say the same to you.
6176006 I know that feel. If I don't write a one shot and one session, get stalled halfway through and then it takes me 5 1/2 years to finish it that is to say I haven't finished any yet.
You just made me sit down resolving to put some words into some of my unfinished fics. I've spent too much time ruminating over how much better they could be when I could just finish them and get them overwith instead...
6176324
Yes! Do that! We need to constantly remind ourselves as creators that it's better to do Something imperfect than agonize forever over an imagined, perfect Nothing. which often flies in the face of what the world tells us in practice. I'm even more guilty of this than the average person, I think.
6176134
Maud is a drab looking, sounding, and even acting pony on the outside, but deep down she really shines. We all know that's a geode on her butt.
6176606
It's not impossible! I like to think that Maud finds all rocks equally beautiful and cannot understand the popular concept that geodes are beautiful only on the inside.
You made something and put it out into the world, and that is achievement enough.
But also, I enjoyed it.
6176698
Thanks for saying so! It really helps to hear that.
Well, someone's just earned themselves a follow.
Rarity's advice regarding the metaphorical milkshake strikes me as Pinkie Pie's general philosophy on life (i.e. when dining upon life's banquet the plate cannot possibly be piled too high) having rubbed off a bit on our ever so proper unicorn. (Just the use of a milkshake as the analogy is the basis of this interpretation for me.) As the Element of Generosity I think Rarity probably has an innate sense of how gifts, wherever they come from, would hopefully be appreciated/enjoyed.
I quite liked this. It's nice to see different pairings of characters interacting beyond rotating around the designated protagonist. (
)
Well, here I was going to remark on the smile that
... brought me, only to find I've been beaten to the punch by someone who thinks the line needs to die in a fire.
Can't please everyone. But I was entertained, at any rate, and it's great to see you writing again.
I strongly suspect your friend appreciates the effort, too.
6177103
You write a story and include a silly little line, and someone decides that you're out to get them.
Stable-faced people privilege is a terrible thing.
6176006
I think we were all happy to see you writing again.
6176727
Well, she isn't wrong.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
Wonderful story and I do feel a little sad for Cadence here.
That was so sweet, and so Rarity! Very well done!