It All Comes Tumbling Down
My memories of what happened after I got the big news are a bit fuzzy. I’m not exactly sure how I wound up locked in my bathroom with a dozen of those disposable pregnancy test kits. Though I can make a pretty good guess: after finding out I was pregnant I probably bolted from the palace, raided Bargain Barn, and then ran to the bathroom to check the results.
Sure, Princess Twilight bucking Sparkle and Shadow feathering Kicker had both confirmed that I had a bun in the oven, but it was still possible that they were both wrong. I mean, it’s not like either of them were professional doctors or anything. And even docs make mistakes sometimes. Getting a pregnancy test to triple-check was only prudent.
Oh. That one turned out positive too. Well, false positives do happen. That’s why I’d bought spares. You know, just in case the first five or six were defective.
Okay, so maybe there was some wishful thinking going on. Who can blame me, though? I mean, the last thing I wanted was to be pregnant.
I wasn’t exactly keeping track of the time, but I’d probably been in there for a couple hours when Fluttershy knocked on the door. “Cloud? Is everything okay?”
Considering I was locked in my own bathroom, surrounded by discarded pregnancy tests and rocking back and forth with my forelegs wrapped around my hind ones, I would have to say I was a pretty long way away from okay. However, since I didn’t want anypony seeing me in my current state, I lied. “Yes yes, it's fine. Everything's fine. I’m just fine. Never been finer. How are you doing?”
My voice came out so nervous and high-strung that even I didn’t believe myself, so naturally nopony else did either. I heard a hushed murmur of conversation on the other side of the door, and then Blossom spoke up. “Cloudy? Can we talk? Twilight said you got some really big news that you needed to discuss with us.”
Oh. I guess I should’ve known Twilight would point them in my direction without giving away the big news. That was the classy, princessly thing to do.
Moments later somepony who was the exact opposite of classy and princessly started pounding on the bathroom door. “Cloud?” Rainbow’s scratchy tomboy voice called out. “Come on, CK, open up! Unless you're barfing again. But whatever it is—talk to us! And I mean really talk to us. If everything was fine you'd be out there on the job lecturing me about not being out on the job. But we aren't, so I know you're full of it. So come out already!”
“I ... I'm fine in here.” I double-checked that the door was locked, not that Rainbow would let a locked door stop her if she really wanted to get in. “Yes. Fine. Nothing wrong at all. My life certainly hasn't gone completely insane lately.” I let out a high-pitched giggle that seemed incredibly out of place and inappropriate. “Never been better. I’m just the happiest that I’ve ever been, and I’m a pretty happy pony. I remember this one time—”
“Oookay...” Blossom cut in, her hooves shuffling on the carpet outside. “Glad to know you’re alright. So let's talk about how awesome and not insane it is that you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom and refuse to come out.”
Rainbow, unsurprisingly, was far less diplomatic. “Whooo boy, that's not a good sign. Did you hear the way she laughed? Last time I heard a laugh like that, it was right before Twilight put a spell on half the town. I don’t even wanna know what happens when Cloud snaps that bad.”
I could practically hear the frown in Blossom’s voice. “You know she can hear you, right?”
“And your point is?”
I distinctly heard the sound of Blossom’s face meeting her hoof. “Shadow's teats, Rainbow...”
While the two of them carried on, Fluttershy very gently rapped on the bathroom door again. “Please, Cloud, open the door. I would really appreciate it if you would just talk to us about what’s bothering you, because now I’m really starting to worry about you. Don’t you trust me enough to let me help you?”
Ouch, Fluttershy was laying down the guilt trip. She really was going to be a natural when it came to motherho ... mother ... AGH!
I couldn’t do this. I just could not handle this right now. Or ever, really. All I really wanted to was just turn back the clock so I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore.
And that’s when the answer hit me. “Wait wait, I can still fix this. It's all okay, and nothing's gonna change because I can definitely fix it. I'll just go by the hospital tomorrow and... yeah. Problem solved.” I took several deep breaths, slowly managing to calm down my racing heart and restore myself to something resembling normalcy. Then, after a moment’s hesitation I reached forward and unlocked the bathroom door.
An instant after I opened the door Blossom barged in, latching onto me with a hug that would’ve made Dinky or Pinkie proud. “Hospital?! What about the hospital?”
Fluttershy came in right behind her, grabbing the side Blossom hadn’t taken. “Is your stomach still bothering you? Do you have a fever now? Did you get sick while you were visiting Twilight, and that’s how she knew you needed help? But it must be even worse than it was before if you didn’t even want us to see ... except you look fine now.”
Rainbow was, of course, far too cool to actually hug me and fuss over me. Or at least, she wouldn’t do it in front of so many witnesses unless she had some sort of excuse. Though she still found plenty of ways to let me know she cared. “You wanna go to the hospital? Darn it, I knew there was something wrong with you! Come on, hop on my back and I’ll get you over there so fast you won’t even know you’re there. Or are you so sick you need to stay here? ‘Cause I can fly the best doctor in Canterlot over here in 15 seconds!” Her eyes flicked around the room, and more words started tumbling out of her mouth. “What’s wrong, anyway? I gotta know what kind of doctor I need to grab, right? Or should I just get one of those super-egghead doctors who knows everything? Where do I find one of them?”
I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and tried to deliver the news. Then I tried a couple more times, before I finally managed to blurt it out. “I ... I ... I'm pregnant.”
Blossom blinked in shock, her head slowly tilting to the side as she tried to wrap her brain around what I’d just said. Fluttershy’s hooves went over her mouth as she let out a shocked gasp. However, Rainbow was the first one to recover enough from the shock to actually say something, blurting out, “I knew you were getting fat!”
Blossom’s eyes shot down to my belly, looking at it like she expected something to burst out of it at any minute. “You’re puh ... preg ... what?”
Eepy’s forelegs tightened around me, until it felt more like I was receiving one of Pinkie’s excessively enthusiastic hugs. “Oh my goodness! Are you sure?”
I glanced back into the bathroom, where there were more than a dozen positive pregnancy tests scattered on the floor. “Pretty sure, yeah.”
Fluttershy released me from her hug/death grip, gently tugging me towards the couch. “Come out here and sit down, this is wonderful news.”
Rainbow grinned and slapped me on the back with a wing. “Ohmygosh you're pregnant! This is ... wow. Just ... wow.” She paused for moment, then declared, “Dibs on being the kid’s godmom. Derpy’ll tell you how awesome a job I did with Dinky. This is gonna be so awesome!”
“That’s...” I tried to think of a diplomatic way to say it, but after everything I’d been through I was in no condition to mince words or gently build up to the news. “You don’t need to worry about who the godmother’s going to be, Rainbow. That’s why I’m going to the hospital.”
That finally seemed to snap Blossom out of the daze she’d been in ever since I’d dropped the baby bombshell. “Hold on, what?”
“You know...” I tried to soften the blow a little bit. “That’s why I’m going to the hospital tomorrow. To make it so I'm not pregnant anymore. I mean, back when I was still the wild mare around town I made plans for this kinda thing. You know, just in case something like this happened.”
Fluttershy’s jaw dropped in shock, and she started tearing up. “But-but that's—Cloud, you can't do that! It's your foal!”
“No.” Blossom glowered at me, her eyes moistening even as an angry growl entered her voice. “That's our baby she’s talking about.”
I couldn’t really argue with that—I was ninety-nine percent sure that Blossom or Eepy was the sire, after all. Though figuring out which one of them was the DNA donor promised to be a nice, drama-filled can of worms I really didn’t want to open. Which was all the more reason not to have a kid in the first place. “Guys ... c'mon, really? I ... I'd ... I can't...”
“Can't what, Cloud?” Blossom snapped out, her scowl widening as her anger got to the point that it bucked the usual trend—she was so mad that she didn’t look cute at all. “Say it!”
“I can't be a mom, okay!” I shouted back. “Are you happy now?”
Rainbow fidgeted uncomfortably, her eyes flicking towards the door. “Look, uh, I might be the odd-pony out here, but maybe you should guys should just chill for a minute? I mean, this is ... wow. Still kinda wrapping my head around this. Just saying...”
Blossom grunted, barely acknowledging Rainbow’s remark and not showing me any mercy with her death glare. “I'll chill when Cloud has her head on straight, Rainbow. I’ll chill when she stops being a stupid, un—”
Our boss put a hoof over Blossom’s mouth to cut her off. “Hey, what you’re doing right now? That’s the opposite of chilling.”
While Blossom glared daggers at myself and Rainbow, Fluttershy stepped in to play peacemaker. “I’m sure what Blossomforth meant to say is that Cloud could be a wonderful mother.” She gently put a reassuring hoof on my shoulder. “I’m sure this is all very overwhelming and frightening, but you shouldn’t let that scare you so much that you run away before giving yourself a fair chance. You have everything you need to be a good parent. You're responsible. You’re great with kids. You have a good job to provide for the child.” She leaned over and gently nuzzled me. “And you have two loving partners who will support you every step of the way.”
“But...” I tried to find some way to explain why she was wrong, but was having a hard time coming up with a good counter to all her facts and logic. Compared to everything she said, something like ‘but I don’t want to have a kid’ just sounded really lame and insufficient, even though that was what the issue really boiled down to.
While I fumbled for an answer, Fluttershy continued to bull over me with her brutally effective gentle nurturing. “Cloud, why don’t you sit down for a few minutes and think this through. Here, let me make you some nice, calming tea, and then we can talk this over.”
I probably should’ve fought back, but nopony can stand up to Fluttershy for very long. “I am a little thirsty...”
Fluttershy smiled and gave me a quick nuzzle, then trotted into the kitchen. Blossom apparently decided to follow her gameplan, because instead of arguing she put a wing over my shoulder and gently guided me over to the couch. Once we were there she carefully helped down to the cushions, then took a seat next to me. Neither one of us said anything—I’m not even sure either one of us could’ve come up with anything worth saying. She just held me.
I’m not sure how long the two us sat there like that before Rainbow snapped me out of it, waving a hoof in front of my face. “Hellooo! Equestria to Cloud Kicker. You still with us, Cloud?”
“Yuh,” I grunted out, feeling rather dazed.
Blossom let out a humorless chuckle. “I know exactly how you feel.”
Rainbow took a deep breath, then gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Okay ... look. S'gonna be okay, alright? Whatever happens. You got me in your corner, so you know it'll all work out, you hear me? ‘Cause you’re one of my gal-pals, and I never leave my friends hanging when they need me.”
I slowly snapped out of my shock, and gave Rainbow the best smile I could manage. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, Dash.”
Rainbow grinned and immodestly brushed a hoof along her chest. “S'what I do.”
Before I could come up with something witty to deflate Rainbow’s ego, Fluttershy called out from the kitchen. “Did you want anything to go with your tea, Cloud? And does anypony else want anything to drink? It’s no trouble at all since I’m already in here...”
“Maybe some milk, sugar, and a little lemon to go with it?” To be honest I wasn’t a very big tea drinker, so anything that made my tea taste a bit less like tea was welcome. I would’ve asked for something else, but Eepy had offered tea and I’m just a little Flutterwhipped.
One of Blossom’s hooves dropped down to rest over my belly. “Could I get one too? And actual tea for me, not a few tea leaves mixed with a ton of other stuff.” She smirked at me. “What can I say? Fluttershy has me hooked on the stuff.”
Thankfully, Rainbow had better judgement. “Got any cider?”
My ears perked up at the request. “Good idea. Get me one too. Actually, just bring out however much I’ve got in the icebox. After the day I’ve been having, I’m gonna need it all.”
I heard Fluttershy open my fridge. “Oh, sorry, the only cider you have in here is hard, and I don’t think that would be a good idea right now. We all need to be thinking with clear heads, and alcohol isn't healthy for the foal. In fact, I should probably take all the hard cider out of here, just to be safe.”
“Oh come on!” I whined. “I’ve got a dozen bottles of Applejack’s best stuff that I’ve been saving for my birthday!”
“I’ll take it!” Rainbow immediately volunteered, not even bothering to hide her avaricious glee. “I mean, it seems a shame to just throw it out, right? Might as well give it to somepony who can appreciate it.”
I glowered at her, not that it bothered Dash in the slightest. “Getting drunk would make this so much easier to deal with.”
Rainbow smirked and slapped me on the back. “You've already been throwing up enough without getting smashed. Leave the cider to me. I promise I’ll take good care of it and think of you each time I drink one.” She grabbed her saddlebags and upended them, dumping out a dog-eared Daring Do paperback, several random bits of Wonderbolts merchandise, and some paperwork I’d turned into her last month that she’d evidently never bothered to file. “Besides, getting it out of the house is good for kids and stuff. I’m doing you a favor, really.”
“You’re all heart.” I watched as she rushed into my kitchen and started loading her bags up with my precious, delicious hard cider. “How is it that you didn’t get the Element of Generosity along with the Element of Loyalty?”
She shrugged. “I guess there’s a one-per-pony limit on ‘em unless you’re Celestia or Luna. But I think Twi said something about how they work better with more ponies anyway.” She shoved the last of my cider bottles into her bags, which were positively bulging by now. “Oh, I got the rest of your booze too. Y’know, just keeping things safe.”
“Gee, thanks.” There’s something really twisted about the fact that when I really needed a feathering drink, I wasn’t allowed to have one.
I groaned and ran a hoof over my face. I was only a social drinker, but the idea of spending most of a year in enforced sobriety was very unappealing. Especially since the number one way to make me want something is to say that I’m not allowed to have it. Hay, if Blossom and Eepy wanted me to keep the kid, their best bet would be to bring my mom back to life and have her order me to get rid of it. I’d probably crank out a dozen foals just to spite her.
Yeah, I’ve got issues.
Blossom stared down at my belly as if she were expecting it to start swelling up like a balloon.. “So ... um. How did this...?”
“I’m gonna take a wild guess that it’s a result of all that sex we’ve been having,” I deadpanned. “I’ve heard that some scientists think there might be a link between sex and pregnancy.”
That got a weak snort of laughter out of Blossom. “Yeah, okay, I deserved that one. But I meant how did you find out about it? I’m guessing Twilight was involved.”
“Yeah,” I thought about mentioning what happened with Shadow’s Armor, but decided against that. Shadow’s Armor was one of those Kicker things we usually didn’t talk that much about, and explaining all the details of how Shadow had spilled the beans would make it all way too long and complicated. Better to keep it simple. “Twilight used a diagnostic spell on me. Y’know, since I’d been sick for a while. And after she told me I kinda ... well, once I accepted that she hadn’t messed up the spells I went and got some tests to double-check it, and ... yeah.”
Fluttershy quietly trotted in and set the tea down in front of us. “I’m sure that must have been quite a shock. No wonder you were so upset when we found you.”
I picked up my tea, sipped it, then grimaced and added a bit more sugar and lemon to it. Still tasted too much like tea. “Well ... at least now I know why I was throwing up so much.”
“Yes, we do.” Fluttershy beamed at me and sipped her own tea, which she seemed to like despite it being actual tea. “And the good news is that there isn't anything wrong with you.”
“Far from it,” Blossom agreed, her eyes flicking down to my belly and a faint smile briefly passing across her lips.
I was tempted to argue the point, since from where I was sitting there was something pretty seriously wrong with me. I thought better of it after a moment; it would just start another argument about whether or not I was going to have the baby. And while that was probably inevitable, I really didn’t want to fight that issue out at the moment. Or ever, honestly. Shame that wouldn’t be an option.
Rainbow cleared her throat. “So, uh ... I guess you can take the rest of the week off. I mean, this is pretty big.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Dash.” I smiled gratefully and pulled her into a hug, which she returned with a sheepish chuckle. I pulled back from it when a thought struck me. “Er, the weather team health plan covers ... y'know...?” I waved a hoof vaguely, letting her fill in the blanks.
Contrary to what some ponies might think, Rainbow is capable of catching on to subtlety at times. “Yeah, you're covered. Whichever way you go with it. And we’ve got a pretty good maternity leave program, too.”
I let out a breath and nodded gratefully. “Okay. At least I don’t have to worry about money.” Getting knocked up was stressful enough on its own.
Rainbow grinned and poked me in the shoulder. “Get ready to spend the next couple months parking your butt behind a desk. I don’t want you flying all over the place and messing with the weather while you’ve got a bun in the oven, but there’s still a ton of paperwork to do. Maybe with you doing that stuff full-time I’ll finally catch up with all of it. And this way you’ll be able to stay on the job until you get so bloated you won’t be able to leave the house.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Hate to disappoint you, but I really don’t think I’ll be spending months lazing about and taking care of all those forms you never bother to file with HQ. First thing tomorrow I’ll head to the hospital to make an appointment, then it’s just do the procedure and fix this whole mess. Everything’ll be back to normal.”
Fluttershy bit her lip, then gently settled down next to me. “Cloud, I think we should discuss whether or not you’re going to have this foal.”
I sighed and reluctantly conceded the point, steeling myself for the argument to come. “Yeah, I guess we better. Just remember that this is my body, so it’s my decision. I’m willing to talk things through, but if what you’re planning is to browbeat or guilt trip me into having a kid I don’t want...”
Blossom grimaced and gently poked my belly. “It’s not all about you. Two ponies made this happen, Cloud.”
Fluttershy nodded along. “One of us is the sire of the foal. Don’t you think we should have some say in what happens to it?”
“Of course you should.” I tried to contain my irritation at having them team up on me. “That's why we're sitting down and talking it over in the first place. I’m just saying that it’s my decision whether or not I spend the next however many months carrying around a kid.”
Rainbow looked between the three of us, awkwardly shifting on her hooves. “Um, do you want me to clear out? I mean, this is kinda a private family thing, and I’m really not involved in any of this. I mean, I’m your friend and all, but I’m not...” She waved a hoof through in a vague circular motion as she struggled to come up with the right words.
“Pregnant or one of the potential sires of the foal in question?” I provided.
“Yeah, that,” she agreed. “I mean, I kinda feel like the odd pony out. Or the host of one of those trashy radio shows where they get a bunch of ponies together and do a lineage test to find out who the kid’s sire is.”
Fluttershy softly giggled, then looked at me. “Rainbow’s one of my best friends, so I wouldn’t mind hearing what she thinks. What about you, Cloud? Do you want her here for this?
I thought it over for a moment, then shrugged. “Same as you. I don't mind having Dash here if she wants to be.” If nothing else, Rainbow seemed a bit more willing to at least hear me out. Plus it was probably a good idea to have someone who could be something resembling a moderating presence in the whole discussion. Rainbow wouldn’t be anypony’s first choice for a calm neutral party, but she was here.
Blossom threw in her two bits to make it official. “I think having Rainbow here would be a good idea. She helped a lot the last time Cloud was ... um...” Her eyes flicked to me, and she wisely decided not to finish that sentence. “Well, it's a good call.”
Fluttershy moved in to try and smooth my ruffled feathers from Blossom’s less than diplomatic remark. “Now now, I know we all care about you and want what’s best for you. Blossomforth might be a bit upset, but that’s only because she loves you so much and doesn’t want you to make a bad decision.” She started gently rubbing my back in a slow, soothing pattern. “Now, when you told us you were pregnant I thought this was wonderful news, but you obviously don’t agree. Why don’t you tell us what has you so scared about having a foal?”
“I'm not scared!” I snapped out, sounding so defensive that I didn’t even believe myself. I took a breath and tried to calm down. “I just ... I don't want a kid. I mean ... look at where we are right now. This isn't the time for one.”
“Why not?” Blossom demanded, stubbornly meeting my eyes. “We look pretty good to me. I don’t see any reason we wouldn’t be able to have a kid. We’re good on money, and we’ve been together for two years now. I’d call that pretty stable.”
“And I would love to have a foal,” Fluttershy chimed in. “I’ve always dreamed of being a mother some day.” She gently rubbed my stomach. “And especially having a foal with you.”
Okay, that sounded really sweet, and I always figured Fluttershy would be a great mother. And I suppose I wasn’t opposed to having kids with her some day. Just not now. Or anytime soon. Plus I kinda assumed that when/if we ever had kids, she would be carrying them. I mean, Fluttershy always seemed like the kind of mare who’d just be radiantly happy while pregnant. Me ... yeah, I was gonna be gross, barfing, and utterly miserable. “I mean, c'mon. Me? A mother? There's no way that would work.”
“What if it was me or Fluttershy that was carrying?” Blossom demanded, seeming to have read my thoughts. “Would you be telling us to get rid of our foal then? Is this about you not wanting a kid, or are you just afraid that being pregnant would cramp your style?”
I decided not to address the accusation, mostly because I didn’t want to lie and admitting the truth would probably make me look bad. I’d seen everything Derpy went through during her pregnancy, and I wasn’t enthusiastic to experience it myself. Sure, she always said that getting Dinky had been worth the morning sickness, cramps, constant tiredness, swollen hooves, sore teats, and everything else, but...
Instead, I just focused on the issue of how I’d react if she were pregnant. “Well, it'd be your decision. If you asked me what I wanted, I'd probably suggest the same thing. I mean ... having a kid is a really big change. One we’re not ready for, regardless of whose belly the foal is in.”
“You still haven’t said why we’re not ready,” Blossom grumbled, though I could spot a hint of fear in her eyes as well. “I mean, plenty of ponies get married and have kids after two years of dating. And I thought our relationship was going really well—we were already talking about moving in together.” She glowered and poked me in the chest. “So why aren’t we ready? If there’s something wrong, why not tell me about it?”
I held up my hooves in mock surrender. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then why aren’t we ready to have a foal?!”
“Um...”
Rainbow pointedly cleared her throat, and I shot her a grateful look for coming to my rescue. Well, for a certain value of rescue. “I dunno if you guys have noticed, but Cloud does kinda have a problem with change. I mean, how long it did it take her to stop regretting not joining the Guard? Not until she got Celestia to give her some made-up punishment she felt like she deserved for some stupid reason. And that’s small potatoes compared to having a kid—I mean, Derpy’s entire life got turned completely upside down when she had Dinky.”
“But it all worked out for the best,” Fluttershy chimed in. “Derpy’s so happy with her daughters. And I think we’ll be happy too, once we work out all the problems. Unless...” Fluttershy worried at her lower lip. “Cloud, you do want to have our foals, don’t you?”
I sighed and wrapped one wing around each of my lovers. “Girls, I want you both to understand that saying I don’t want this kid doesn’t mean I don’t want you or your kids. Got that? I’m just saying that while I’d like for us to have your kids some day as long as everything keeps working out, now’s not the best time.”
“Then when?” Fluttershy asked, her eyes firm even though her voice remained soft. “What's going to change five or ten years down the road from now? I know we would make a beautiful foal, Cloud. And I want to see it. Soon.”
Blossom wrapped a foreleg around my back and pulled me closer. “Cloud, I know this probably isn’t what you had planned for us. I know I didn’t expect it either. But maybe that’s for the best. I know it’s a big change, but we shouldn’t let that scare us off. Change can be a good thing.”
Rainbow cracked open one of my former bottles of cider, took a sip, then rubbed her forehead. “Look, I’m not gonna tell you what you should do. I mean, I think you having a kid would be awesome, but that’s your choice to make. But whatever you choose, I don't want you regretting it five, ten years down the line, always revisiting it and wishing you did the other thing. You’ve done enough of that to yourself.”
I flinched, because that one hit way too close to home. I’d spent pretty much every day after I ran out on the Guard regretting my decision and wishing I’d stuck with it. After all, dropping out had really messed up my relationship with my family and thrown my life into chaos. If not for Rainbow helping me out I probably wouldn’t have landed on my hooves and gotten a good job as easily as I had.
“Cloud.” Blossom leaned over and gently nuzzled me. “You never really answered Fluttershy’s question. Why do you think you aren’t ready for kids?’
I let out a frustrated sigh, and my answer was a little snippy. “Because I’m not, okay? I don’t have to write a multi-page essay explaining myself. I. Don’t. Want. Kids. Yet. That’s all there is to it. Besides, even if I did want kids, what do I know about being a mom? Nothing.”
Fluttershy stubbornly shook her head. “I don’t think Dinky and Sparkler would agree with that. Derpy always says you’re a really big help with them.”
“Yeah, I did some foalsitting for Dinky and talked a couple things over with Sparkler that she wasn’t comfortable talking about with her mother.” Mostly sex stuff. Nopony likes talking about sex with their mother. I still have nightmares about when Mom had to give me The Talk. That was ... there are no words to describe the experience of my stiff, emotionally closed-off, and demanding mother explaining the facts of life to me. Not helped by the fact that this all happened after I’d figured out way too much of it on my own.
I groaned and hastily pushed those memories aside. “Look, there's a big difference between helping out with somepony else's kids and raising them yourself. I get to go over and visit for a couple hours, play a game or two with Dinky, and then I go home before the kids’ bedtime. And whenever something big comes up it’s Derpy’s decision to make, not mine. You can’t go home and leave the hard choices up to somepony else when they’re your kids.”
“What about with Alula?” Rainbow demanded.
“'Lula's my sister,” I answered. “That's completely different.”
Rainbow stubbornly set her hooves. “Yeah, but you still stepped up and were there for her after your mom died.”
“Yes. I was there for her. As her sister. Plus Dad was still there to handle all the parental stuff.”
Fluttershy sighed patiently and tried a different tactic. “Well, who really knows about becoming a parent before they actually have children? I had to learn a lot about taking care of animals by actually doing it.”
Blossom nodded along. “And helping Derpy with her kids gave you more practice than most ponies in your position would get.”
“Maybe.” My ears drooped as another thought struck me. “I remember reading somewhere that kids learn how to be parents from their own parents...”
Yeah, there was a depressing thought. Out of all the possible futures I could look forward to, one where I wound up being a frigid, demanding nag who pushed my kids into having a nervous breakdown sounded pretty awful. I know they always says kids grow up to be more and more like their parents as they get older, but the idea of becoming like Mom was just ... no.
I suppose I could always go to Derpy for advice. To be honest, I kinda wished she was present for this talk. After all, she had first-hoof experience with the subject of unplanned pregnancy. If anypony could understand what I was going through, it would be her. Maybe I could go talk things over with her once I was done with Blossom, Eepy, and Rainbow.
Blossom didn’t say anything, but her eyes lingering on the floor said plenty. I felt like a bit of a mule once I realized what I’d done. Nice move, me. Tell the orphan that only ponies who have parents know how to raise kids. Blossom wasn’t a giant ball of orphan-related issues or anything, but a scar is still gonna be a little tender when somepony starts poking it.
Thankfully, Rainbow swooped in to distract both of us before things got awkward. “I don’t think I buy that. I mean, look at me. Am I anything like my moms? Nope. I’m awesome in my own uniquely awesome way.”
“Exactly,” Fluttershy agreed with a satisfied nod. “I can’t imagine you would ever push your child to join the military if they weren’t sure it was what they wanted. And I can’t imagine you would ever be as ... erm ... well ... compared to your mother...”
“Judgemental?” I suggested. “Frigid? Demanding? Incapable of showing an ounce of affection? Determined to treat my own children like underperforming cadets? Or—”
Rainbow held up a hoof to cut me off. “I think we got it, Kicker.” She rolled her eyes. “But that’s the point. You learned from all that, and you’re gonna do a way better job. Plus you’ve got other ponies to learn from, like your aunt and uncle, or Derpy. And me, of course. Do I treat Dinky the way my parents treat me?”
I smirked and gave her a teasing nudge. “Well, you do rain affection down on her just like your parents did to you last time they visited. The only difference is that she's young enough that she still enjoys it instead of being embarrassed by it.”
Rainbow displayed her maturity and poise by sticking her tongue out at me. “That's totally different. My moms are awesome and all, but something they can get a bit ... gah.”
“While Dinky will never stop loving it when you hug her and tell her how great she is,” I shot back. “Loudly. And in public. Even when she’s a teenager, she’ll love that. Especially if you do it in front of her friends.”
“Shut up,” Rainbow grumbled.
Blossom loudly cleared her throat. “Her point is, she remembers how her mothers raised her, but that doesn't mean she has to do exactly the same thing.” Blossom shot a grin Rainbow’s way. “Though she can certainly choose to do that.”
Tempting as it was to continue poking fun at Rainbow, I decided to concede the argument. “Okay, point taken. Rainbow’s right, ponies don’t have to raise their kids the way their parents raised them.”
Rainbow grinned, apparently satisfied enough by my admitting that she was right to forget about all the teasing she’d just been subjected to. When in doubt, stroking her ego is never a bad move to keep her happy.
“And you're a very loving pony,” Fluttershy continued Blossom’s train of thought. “I can’t imagine you being less than completely loving and supportive of your child.”
“Of course I would.” Way back when I’d first had my falling out with my mother, I’d resolved to be a way better parent if I ever had kids. Admittedly, my motives hadn’t been entirely altruistic; a part of me had wanted to stick it to her by showing how I could do a better job. But it’s not like I only wanted to get back at her or anything. It had just been the uglier part of my thought process. Everypony has those. “I would be the best damn mother I could manage. I mean, it's not like I'm thinking about not having the kid because I wouldn't love it or anything. I just ... I’m not ready for a kid right now.”
Fluttershy wrapped a wing around me and pulled me into a gentle hug. “I think we know what’s really bothering you, Cloud. There’s nothing wrong with being scared about having a baby. It’s a big, scary change.”
I was halfway to snapping out a denial when I realized just how angry and defensive Fluttershy’s statement made me feel. And her innocent remark probably wouldn’t have gotten under my skin anywhere near as much as it had unless she was onto something. So I slowed down, took a couple breaths, and thought it over for a moment. “Yeah, maybe I am. I mean, who wouldn't be scared by something like this?”
Blossom groaned and ran a hoof over her face. “So the only reason you don't want to become a mother right now is because you're afraid of becoming a mother? Well at least now we know what the problem is...”
Rainbow hesitated a moment, then spoke slowly and carefully enough that I knew it was a warning she was about to say something blunt and tactless. She’s consistent that way. “Well, Cloud, I have to say—when you get scared? You make some of your dumbest moves.”
Blunt and tactless? Check. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that you kinda have a habit of doing this,” she explained. “When you get scared and start freaking out, you do the first thing that pops into your head and it's usually the wrong thing. Like your graduation. I'm glad you didn't go into the guard, but you didn't sit down and go, ‘Here are the reasons why I don't want to join,’ you just panicked and bolted.”
I snorted angrily. “Look, that was a one-time—”
“Or when you proposed to me because you were scared of losing me,” Fluttershy added.
“Not to mention how you dithered back and forth between me and Derpy for months because you were scared of losing either one of us,” Blossom said.
“And let’s not forget about when you thought your Mom was a traitor and you were scared how'd that affect your clan,” Rainbow concluded.
“Okay! Okay!” Sheesh, I hadn’t expected them to all pile on with so many examples. Was I really that prone to making bad decisions whenever I was frightened? Maybe I should work on fixing that. “So maybe I made a few bad calls in the past...”
“And this is too important to make a bad call on,” Fluttershy insisted, resting a hoof on my belly. “Because it’s not just your life you’re deciding on.”
“And that means not making a snap decision,” Rainbow continued. “Or any kind of decision until you’ve had enough time to chill out. If you had come in here all panicked and said, ‘I gotta have this kid cuz this is my last chance, I can feel my biowhatsit clock ticking' or whatever, I would've said that would've been the wrong move too. Kids are way too important for you to make a decision either way without thinking things through.” She sighed and shook her head. “Now, I'm not telling you what to do. Have the kid, don't have the kid—it’s your call ... even though being a godmom again would be totally sweet. But whatever you decide, don't decide it because you're scared. You can’t afford to make the wrong decision on this.”
I nodded along, reluctantly admitting to myself that she had a point. “It’s probably not the most flattering statement that I always make horrible decisions when I'm scared. Though I think I might have to admit that Dash has a point.” I chuckled and gave Rainbow a teasing poke in the chest. “When did you get so smart? And deep?”
“She probably picked it up through osmosis,” Blossom snarked. “She's friends with Twilight Sparkle, after all. Some of that was bound to rub off on her eventually.”
“No, Blossom.” I smirked over at Rainbow. “Pinkie is the one who’s rubbing herself off on Dash, not Twilight. Well, unless there’s some secret threesomes I don’t know about. And I’m pretty sure that’s not happening, because there’s no way Twilight could hide that from Storm, and Storm would be way happier if she was watching her old crush bang her new crush.”
Rainbow groaned and rolled her eyes. “Oh ha ha, you guys. Also, ha. And seriously, Storm isn’t into me or Twilight. Cloud just assumes she is ‘cause everything’s always about sex with her, so of course Storm’s lusting after us instead of just thinking I’m cool or being a good bodyguard.” She let out an offended huff. “Anyway, I can be plenty smart all on my own! Maybe I’m not good at all the egghead stuff, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb!”
“Alright, alright!” Blossom held up a placating hoof. “You know we're just joking with you, Rainbow.” She gave our boss a teasing nudge. “You've got it where it counts. When it comes to flying and managing the weather, you always take care of things. More importantly, you always come through when ponies need you the most. And you are actually pretty smart when you use your head.”
I couldn’t resist the opportunity for a little more snark. “Though it would help if your idea of using your head wasn’t headbutting things.”
Rainbow answered me with a playful glare and a muttered, “Watch it, Kicker, or I’ll start using my head on you.”
“Yeah, yeah, we all know you’re just itching to get your head all up in my business.” I smirked and poked her in the chest again. “But relax, we still think you’re awesome, cool, and radical.”
“Aren’t those all the same thing?” Blossom naively asked.
I stepped in before Rainbow could correct her. “Awesomeness is Rainbow’s ability to inspire others by her incredible deeds and force of personality. Coolness is how she personally carries herself in a way that makes everypony want to be more like her. Radicalness is her willingness to do things other ponies wouldn’t dare to try, because they’re not her.” Everypony stared at me in mute shock, and I shrugged nonchalantly. “What? You hang out with Rainbow for long enough, and you have to pick up this stuff.”
Rainbow gawked at me for a couple more seconds, then shook her head to clear out the mental cobwebs. “Kicker, that was probably the closest I’ve ever been to actually finding you attractive.”
“Really?” I smirked at her. “‘Cause I would’ve thought that one time you tried to get me to sleep with you would be a better contender.”
“Shut up!” Rainbow growled, blushing furiously. “That doesn’t count! I was drunk! And we hadn’t seen each other for months! And ... and shut up!” She crossed her forelegs over her chest, pouting and grumbling under her breath about how I was a “Stupid weirdo pervert.”
I grinned and ruffled her mane, much to her annoyance. “Yeah yeah, love you too.” True to our odd friendship, Rainbow halfheartedly tried to swat my hooves away.
Fluttershy beamed at both of us. “You two really are such wonderful friends.”
Rainbow finally managed to fend me off, shooting a half-amused glare my way. “Yeah, sure, she’s great. I dunno how I would survive without Cloud inflicting her personality on me all the time.” She paused, then grinned at us. “Also, just FYI? Rainbow Dash Jr. is an awesome name for a kid. Just throwing that out there.”
Blossom groaned and started rubbing her forehead. “You cannot be serious.”
“Wouldn’t that technically be Rainbow Dash the Third?” Fluttershy asked. “I mean, I know your mother is also named Rainbow Dash, so doesn’t that make you Rainbow Dash Jr.?”
“No way,” Rainbow stubbornly countered. “I’m way too awesome to be a junior.”
“Names don’t work that way, Rainbow.” I tapped a hoof thoughtfully on my chin. “Not to mention that calling my kid Rainbow Dash Jr. wouldn’t really work. Well, not unless you're claiming to be the sire...”
“Yeah, no. Shy and Blossom would tear me apart.” She paused then pulled a disgusted face. “Not to mention that would mean we’d would’ve had to do it with each other at some point, and that’s just ... eeeugh. I’d be barfing more than you have.”
I couldn’t let that insult to my sexual prowess go unanswered. Though I had to get a little creative with my snappy comeback. “Only if I made you orgasm hard enough.”
Rainbow stared at me, disgust and incredulity at war across her face. “That’s ... that’s not something that actually happens, right?”
“If you really wanna know...”
“We don’t want to know,” Blossom hastily cut in. “In fact, nopony wants to know. Ever.”
I nonchalantly shrugged. The conversation had taken a weird turn, but I was kinda committed to it now. “Just about everything is somepony’s weird fetish.”
“How about we change the subject before we get too much new nightmare fuel?” Rainbow groaned.
“That’d probably be for the best,” Blossom quickly agreed.
Fluttershy softly cleared her throat. “Actually, what we were talking about earlier did remind me of something...” She shot an apologetic look Blossom’s way, then continued. “I mean, we were joking about Rainbow being the sire, but we know it’s not her. But that did make me wonder which one of us is ... erm...”
“Oh.” I probably should’ve expected that question. To be honest, I’d been so freaked out over being pregnant that I hadn’t even stopped to wonder just who I was pregnant by. “I ... I didn't think to ask Twilight. Actually, I don't even know if she'd be able to tell. Doesn’t the kid have to be further along before they can test that?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Blossom shot an awkward look Fluttershy’s way. “Well, um ... we've all been really active together, so I don’t think we can rule anypony out.”
Eepy nodded, blushing a bit. “Er, right, that is true.”
“Aaand that’s already way more than I ever wanted to know about your sex life.” Rainbow chugging down some cider to chase away the bad thoughts.
I couldn’t resist an opening like that, especially while Rainbow was also guzzling my booze. “While we're on the topic, how's your sex life, Dash? Been doing the Poney Pokey with Pinkie?”
Just as I’d hoped, the question resulted in Rainbow spit-taking my cider all over the living room. Call it spite, but if I couldn’t enjoy it, nopony could. She groaned, wiping her mouth and using Fluttershy’s tail as a napkin. “Geeze, Cloud! You can’t just ask somepony that out of the blue.”
I grinned and bowed, not at all ashamed of my actions. Especially since it also deflected the conversation away from a potentially very awkward subject. Eepy, Blossom, and I all had a pretty good thing going, but only one of them would’ve knocked me up. That had the potential to cause all kinds of drama once we found out who the sire was.
Three-way relationships are tricky. I vaguely recall my aunt saying once that three-pony groups tend to be very unstable—it’s way too easy for two members of the group to get close and leave the third one out in the dust. And having a kid with one of my mares but not the other sounded like exactly the sort of thing that would leave one of them feeling cut out. The only way to mitigate the damage would probably be to have another kid with whoever wasn’t the sire of this foal, and having two kids when I wasn’t even ready for one just seemed like a terrible idea all around.
No wonder so many ponies stick with monogamy. It’s a lot less trouble.
Rainbow finished wiping her mouth off and glowered at me, clearly intent on exacting vengeance. “I am so gonna kick your plot.”
I was never one to back to down from a challenge. “That so? Bring it, Thunderbutt.”
“Stop!” Fluttershy actually shouted as she hastily interposed herself between us. Not one of her quiet little Eepy-shouts either, a real one. “You can't horse around with each other anymore! She's pregnant! You could end up hurting the baby!”
Rainbow instantly paled. “Oh ... oh geeze. I didn’t ... Of course we won’t...”
No more friendly little scuffles with Rainbow? Darn, there’s another thing I would miss out on because of pregnancy. “Relax, Fluttershy. I’m not that far along yet. I mean, I had my usual spar with Storm last week, and nothing went wrong with it.”
Fluttershy whirled on me, and I instantly regretted opening my mouth. “Cloud, that could have really hurt the baby! Obviously you didn’t know you were pregnant, but that has to stop right now! No more training spars with your cousin—I don’t care how much padding you wear, it isn’t safe!” She paused, took a breath, and calmed down a little as her empathy overrode her maternal instincts. “Oh, I just hope Storm’s not going to worry too much once she finds out about your condition. She’ll probably be terrified that she might have hurt the baby.”
“Twilight said it was healthy.” I quickly assured her. Granted, Twilight wasn’t a doctor, but she’d almost certainly read a book about medicine at some point. For that matter, she’d probably read at least one book on every single subject known to ponykind.
Blossom seemed to have reached the same conclusion. “That’s good, but we should get an appointment with a specialist anyway just to make sure everything’s going well. That’s part of what you’re supposed to do anyway, right?” She looked around the room for confirmation, and the rest of us nodded along. Back when she was carrying Dinky, Derpy had pretty regular doctor’s appointments even though nothing had really gone wrong during the pregnancy.
She let out a soft little sigh, then turned her attention to Rainbow. “So that’s settled. And in the meantime, no smacking my pregnant marefriend. Even if she deserves it.” Blossom paused, then smirked. “Well, if you absolutely have to, use that wiffle paddle she keeps on the top-left shelf of the closet. “
“Dammit,” Rainbow groaned, holding her head in her hooves and shuddering. “Heeueuugh... I so didn't need to hear that...”
Fluttershy gently put a hoof on her back. “Are you feeling alright? I could get you something to drink if you need it.”
Rainbow melodramatically threw her hooves up to the sky. “I need everything to drink after hearing that. I don't need to imagine Cloud bending you over and pummeling your rump with a paddle, Shy.” Her eyes widened, and then she slammed her head down on my coffee table. “Gaah! Dammit there it is! Stupid brain! Stop that or I’ll drink enough booze to kill whatever part of you produces mental images!”
Fluttershy turned bright red, and I started laughing my plot off. Blossom tried to be a bit more mature, giving Rainbow a sympathetic pat on the back. “I know exactly how you feel. Poor, innocent Rainbow.” She paused, then amended, “Formerly innocent Rainbow. If it’s any consolation, you do get used to Cloud after a while.”
“I was friends with Kicker for years before she’d even met you,” Rainbow pointed out. “I think if I was gonna get used to her weirdness, I would’ve by now.”
“You are used to it,” I countered. “You’re just being a Rarity-tier drama queen right now. Shall I fetch you a fainting couch, darling?” I chuckled to myself while Rainbow grumbled and glowered. “Besides, I don’t see how you could possibly blame me for what happened. It was entirely self-inflicted.”
“It’s still gross,” Rainbow countered. “And if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t ever even think about gross stuff like that. Neither would Fluttershy or Blossomforth. Ergo, this is all your fault.”
“Yes, because clearly nopony in Equestria had a functioning sex drive before I came around.” I cocked my head to the side. “And since when did you know how to correctly use a word like ‘ergo.’ I thought Old Unicornian was too egghead for you.”
“Bite me.”
“Only if you ask nicely.” Before Rainbow could come up with a response, I turned to Fluttershy, grinning all the while. “You better let Rarity know that Rainbow’s trying to steal her title as Ponyville’s number one drama queen.”
“I’m pretty sure the Flower Trio took that title from Rarity a while back,” Blossom cut in.
“The horror,” I deadpanned. “The horror.”
“Rarity’s really not that bad,” Fluttershy murmured in her friend’s defense. “She just makes a fuss over the little things so the big things don’t bother her as much.”
Comprehension dawned in Rainbow’s eyes. “Oh I get it! It’s a coping thing. Sorta like how Twilight does that breathing thing Cadance taught her whenever she’s about to freak out, or how Cloud makes a lot of lame jokes to distract everypony from the fact that she’s pregnant?”
The jovial mood I’d been trying to build up instantly vanished, replaced with a whole lot of awkward silence. I threw an annoyed glare Rainbow’s way, and she had the good grace to actually look a little sheepish. “Yes. Exactly like that.”
Her ears drooped. “Er ... well it looked like it was working pretty good. So anyway, you feeling better now? Not as panicky, freaked out, and prone to making terrible decisions?”
I was tempted to comment on her complete lack of tact, but sometimes there’s a lot to be said for blunt honesty. If nothing else, it forced to me to face issues head-on. “Yeah, I think I feel a lot better now.”
Joking around with them might’ve initially started as just a way to distract myself from the problem, but in this case it seemed that a distraction was exactly what I’d needed. A little time to adjust to the news and gain a bit of distance and perspective after the initial panic attack that came from the discovery. Maybe Rainbow really was onto something with her remarks about how I make bad snap decisions when I don’t think things through.
Blossom beamed, and she and Fluttershy both pulled me into a three-way hug. “Glad to hear it.”
“Me too.” Eepy gently nuzzled me, one hoof dropping down to rest over my belly. “And how are you feeling about the foal?”
I hesitated a moment, then gave the best answer I had. “I dunno. I guess ... well I’ve got a week off of work either way. I might as well spend that time thinking about it. I mean, another week isn’t going to make a huge difference either way, and Rainbow was right about how this isn’t the sort of thing I should go rushing into.”
Rainbow gave me an approving pat on the back. “That sounds smart.”
I nodded and grinned at her. “Probably because it is.”
Rainbow immodestly brushed a hoof over her own chest. “Well it was one of my ideas.”
“And yet, it wound up being really intelligent and well thought-out,” I answered with a grin. “I know, I’m shocked too.” Rainbow responded by rolling her eyes and noogieing me as gently as she could.
Blossom chuckled at our eternal back-and-forth banter, then turned her attention fully to me. “Thanks for taking the time to think this over, Cloud. I’m sure it’ll help you make the right decision.” While she didn’t quite come out and say it, her tone made it quite clear which decision she expected me to make. I tried not to get too annoyed with her for being so pushy. After all, she was allowed to want a kid just as much as I was allowed to not want one. Even though a part of me felt that if she wanted a kid that much, then she should be the one hauling it around in her belly for most of year.
Fluttershy faintly frowned at both of us, picking up on the underlying tension. “I’m sure we’ll all keep our minds open while we take some time to think this over. And hopefully we’ll all come to a decision we can agree upon together that makes us all equally happy. And even if I don’t agree with her choice, I’ll still support Cloud one hundred percent.”
“Thanks, Eepy.” I gave her a quick nuzzle. “And yeah, that's the whole point of taking a week to think it over. Talk things over, maybe get a couple other perspectives on it. I know I wouldn’t mind hearing what Derpy thinks about all this.” I thought it over for a second, then added. “My family’s probably already on the way here to check on Storm, since she got hurt fighting Tirek. I should talk to them too.” Between Dad, my psychologist aunt, and my cleric uncle, I would probably be flooded with good advice.
I sighed and pulled all three of them into a big group hug. “Thanks girls. Just thanks for being here, even if we did butt heads a little. Or a lot.”
“Of course!” Fluttershy gently held me. “You know we love you.”
“Always will,” Blossom assured me. “Even when you’re being a butthead.”
All eyes turned to Rainbow, and she squirmed a little in the group hug. “I ... I guess you’re alright, Cloud. I mean, y’know, I’m cool and you’re cool and we’re cool and all. So ... y’know ... whatever, right?”
I smirked and planted a big, wet, juicy kiss right on Rainbow’s forehead. “Love you too, Dash.”
We all had one last chuckle as she started furiously scrubbing while she groaned and whined about having ‘Cloud slobber’ all over her head.
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Would be funny if this was all the fault of Derpy's family. Dinky accidentally spills one of Cloud's potions and instead of telling anyone hides it by filling it with juice or something.
I thought it was pretty cool that you brought up this topic, it is something that would totally come up and CK would definitely be into removing incoming responsibility she doesn't feel ready for. I like the way it's setting up tension between the triad/trio/...you know, Cloud's harem.
Fantastically funny line.
I lol'ed (yes, actually out loud) at the Room reference.
It must be Fluttershy's. If it was Blossomforth's she wouldn't have anything to get upset about, and I feel like she always has something to be mad about. Now, I want it to be Blossom's because I think Fluttershy would take it much better, but that's me wishing for no conflict, which would in turn make the story rather uneventful (as uneventful as having the damned Cloud Kicker pregnant can be, that is).
This is all assuming she just doesn't take care of the 'problem' immediately, which would also piss off Blossom in the highest degree.
p.dreamwidth.org/00132462539f/-/i5.photobucket.com/albums/y196/Commander30/Blossom.png
This was the closest 'angry Blossom' I could find.
Great. Super. We have an excuse for Fluttershy to bring the crazy. CK is on her way to ten more months of being policed by Eepysqueak.
6539350 That's actually going to be tricky to reconcile with canon, especially the part with Tree Hugger.
Raising this kid is going to be a herd-chore. If left up to Cloud there'll be deficiencies. If left up to Fluttershy it'll be a pussy. If left up to Blossomforth it'll be a mama's foal due to her issues with the concept of unwanted children. Definitely going to need Derpy's experience, and Dash's confidence-building as the super-aunt.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Oh, Internet. So wonderful...and yet...so very, very terrible...
6654315 um, not quite. I read it as the "special potions" being futa or gender bender potions. Hence how Blossom or Flutters, both mares, could sire a foal. It was probably just happenstance that that happened then. Though that does sound like a funny theory...
And, now that I think about it, Cloud's contraceptives are in fact potions she gets from Zecora, (as seen in The Study Of A Winning Pony when Cloud asks Twilight to pick up her contras from the zebra)
Clearly it's Luna's. It just takes Alicorn DNA a little longer to get a head start.
6654741
Actually, in Winningverse there's something called "love magic" which causes two mares in love to be able to conceive a child magically without gender-bending or the need for a male donor. Two stallions would need a surrogate because of reasons. "Where would the fetus gestate, you gonna keep it in a box?"
Considering the chapter name, everything went better than expected.
img03.deviantart.net/5954/i/2012/228/6/2/vector___blossomforth_by_slench-d5bbapa.png
"Cloud, I know how being pregnant will be a major inconvenience for you. I mean, I bet my mom felt the same. But you know what she did for me?"
"She gave birth to me before she gave up on me!"
"So... maybe you could reconsider?"
How do you feel about the inspiration for your protagonist hiding an HIV diagnosis from the people he's been sleeping with?
6654952
... Dang. That's a grade-A guilt trip.
https://youtu.be/YQYPmtK03c0?t=2m22s it all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling doooooown~
I'm still hoping it turns out to be fraternal twins, one from each.
I actually think it's Blossomforth's, not Fluttershy's.
6655274
Ooh boy, and just when Cloud's Freak-Out Mode was winding down...
6654843 Ah, but they weren't trying to conceive. The gender bender would just be for fun.
I am a horrible person...
I kinda want her to eventually decide to keep the foal, and just as she accepts the fact she wants to keep it and looks forward to it, she's forced by (insert plot device) to abort the foal, or miscarrys due to a poor choice. This would work even better if storm some how ends of pregnant and/or the cause of her miscarrage, mutating clouds growing jealousy towards Storm into hate.
A very gripping chapter. Chen really knows how to bring the drama and the feels. Can't wait to see more and find out how this all plays out!
Attempting to use the 'logic' of how this happened with the Magic of Love gives a result of the child being conceived by Fluttershy and Blossomforth having sex with each other and Cloud Kicker is the unwitting donor carrier. This will give maximum drama about who the mother(father?) is with the surprise reveal at the end.
So much awesomeness!! I am SO glad to see a new chapter!! <3
6655689
Wouldn't be at all out of place. After all, Cloud's bi, and as much as she likes her marefriends she probably gets a bit nostalgic for stallions every once in a while.
6655010
The ending of New Life spoiled: everypony hugs and turns into tang!
Commence read.
Time to let all the information collect and a decision to be contemplated.
Wonder what Star and Storm will have to say?
6654952 Dang.
6654982 Agreed.
6654964 Going to guess indifferent, as Cloudy actually surpassed her inspiration a long, long time ago.
6656848
Pretty much, yeah. Well, I'll toss in obligatory "What a dick," but to be honest I rarely follow or care about celebrity news.
6654952 That is absolutely brutal
6657339 Well, you know, try telling the orphan that a child is inconvenient and you make it personal.
Don't you mean Barnyard Bargains?
Cloud Kicker, you adorable, fluffy little fool, you're gonna regret that.
You know, Cloud, if you're having a foal, you might need a third party, too, to give them that Talk when it's eventually time. Since you don't want them scarred for life and all that. So, since Rainbow doing that is probably out of the question, I'd recommend a certain friend of Fluttershy's who know all sorts of things and interesting facts of life. He'd probably be delighted at the opportunity to share his insights on the matter. In fact, given how enthusiastic he is, he might just do that by his own volition once he finds out that Fluttershy is, in a way, having a child...
"Kid, I think it's time Uncle Discord told you about life, the universe and the creation of babies."
And the father is!......
Twilight?!
Everything Cloud says about her mother comes off as super harsh after you've read the side-story about her mother and that whole west hoof attack. I forgot what the name of the fic was, though...
I wonder if she knows that happened. or that her mother was rather deeply involved.
6657717
Yep, if Discord does exist and is friends with Fluttershy in this universe then I'm sure he'd be thrilled to be the crazy uncle for Fluttershy's foal, the kid will get so spoiled.
Mention of abortion? This comments section will surely have NO strong opinionated stances and hotheaded argu-
...huh, It actually didn't. Well done comments section, you pleasantly surpised me.
6654741 no. "magic of love" is the in-universe canon for same sex couples (well mares at least) having kids. The mare somehow gets pregnant thanks to magical energy the two create via love while... banging.
6660629
Yeah, I'm pleasantly surprised.
6660629 Can't it be both? Besides, if this was the case, then it would really make contras ineffective. I mean, it would be like, "Oh, you're on the pill? Well congrats, you're pregnant anyway. Magic, bitch!" And it's too bad for the coltcuddlers, because they then can't have children without a surrogate. However, with gender bender potions in the mix, then it's just a matter of one of them crossing the fence (so to speak) carrying it to term, and going back after.
Idea for later, two stallions want to have children, so they decide to use the solution outlined above. But because of a misunderstanding, they BOTH take the potion, and become mares. They then have to deal with that until they can get the antidote, or it wears off.
Also, lol your avatar pic Chengar
6660629 Im surprised too
Well, that's one disaster averted.
As always, another amazing chapter
Just to be different, I'm going to place my bet on the sire of Clouds little filly (XX cannot produce XY) not being either of them, but BOTH of them.
If the Magic of Love can barrel through two/three* anti-gravidity spells, then it can make it so that all three ponies have a genetic stake in the little filly.
*Cloud would definitely have one on her at all times. Blossomforth would have one because She Is Responsible. Fluttershy is the one I'm not sure about. On one hoof, the trio would go together to have the spell placed on them. On the other hoof, Fluttershy seems like the kind of pony who would intentionally NOT have one, because if tMoL decided that she was to become gravid, then who is she to argue. Besides, its FLUTTERSHY. She is probably wishing that it was HER who was knocked up^
^Another question regarding tMoL. Would it be possible for Fluttershy to become pregnant from Cloud while Cloud is pregnant? There isn't some sort of biological barrier and I'm fairly sure that Cloud is going to bang as much as possible before the bump obstructs the hump and not allow anyone to browbeat her into giving up banging while pregnant ("It's not like I can get DOUBLE PREGNANT now, is it?")
They keep saying "two ponies made this happen" and "one of us" and "potential sires", but isn't the possibility of two mares both being the sire just as plausible as one of them? I mean, Earth biology is clearly not in play.
Edit:
In other words, this: 6661128
........
Sorry Dash, you walked right into that.
Sheesh. Cloud barfs on her, Rainbow uses her as a napkin... what is it with these ponies?
"I absolutely don't need to hold onto that mental image for later when I'm alone."
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I really thought I had seen everything by now, but "orgasming so hard that it makes you barf" wasn't a thing I'd ever even thought about. Geez, thanks a lot for the mental image, Chengar.
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The Internet isn't always as bad as you expect it to be. There are plenty of reasonable people as well, thankfully enough.
This is one of the funniest chapters I've read, so kudos for you on that department, Chengar. Has Cloud recently had sex with anyone else except for Fluttershy and Blossom? It would be interesting if the sire somehow turned out to be neither Flutters nor Blossom for whatever reason. If it really does come down to either Fluttershy or Blossom, it could certainly go either way. I personally think the sire is slightly more likely to be Fluttershy because it's possible that in their long love for each other they forgot to use protection in at least one occasion. Blossom just seems like the pony who would be more careful about these kinds of things.
Although, to be perfectly honest, both Fluttershy and Blossom seem like the kind of ponies who would be careful about these things and Cloud has been "in the game" for a long time and knows that she has to use protection. So the real question here is: Why is she pregnant? Was their love so strong that the love magic was like "Screw your protection, you're having a foal now!" or what?
Either way, I'm expecting a lot of drama to come out of this. I just hope that Cloud won't abort because frankly I don't think that would make for a good story. I kind of do want to see Cloud as a mom now.
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As far as getting pregnant despite protection, I think Twilight got it right in chapter three: no form of protection comes with an absolute 100% guarantee that the user will never get pregnant. Zecora's potions are 99.9% effective, and Cloud got unlucky and hit the .1% failure chance.
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That is true if I meant that Cloud being the one with three anti-gravidity spells on her (which, if anti-gravidity spells are like condoms, would have a HIGHER failure rate if you used more than one aka "double-bagging it").
What I meant is that at least two of the participants are on The Spell. I'm not statistically inclined, but wouldn't the chance of BOTH instances of The Spell failing at the same time be so small, it would be highly improbable? That is unless there are reasons why it is not a good idea for both parties in the relationship to be under The Spell (for example, if both/all members are under The Spell, the failure rate skyrockets for all parties), in which case one party goes under The Spell and the other takes The Potion.
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Highly improbable is not impossible, though it does make it a bit more likely that there was something wrong with their spells. Maybe there was something wrong with their potions, or they messed up the dosage/instructions somehow, or some other circumstance that rendered them less than effective.
I don't know why, but this whole chapter made me have a backwards smile most of the way through
cough make this a story cough it could be a great anecdote story for the book cough people would love it cough
I should probably get that cough checked out
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so that's why Caramel has been buying so many coolers
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no spoilers!
I can imagine Discord's reaction to the news: comment on the beauty of pregnancy, reminice of a time he was pregnant and how he wouldn't do that again, critisize Cloud of not wanting to be pregnant yet she's hyperpansexual, then claim to be the father and milk the moment.
Good 'ol wonderful chaos.
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>looks it up out of curiosity.
Great Scott, how horrifying.