- Member Since 10th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen May 8th, 2016
Nightmares Madness
A passing thought. Yesterdays ideas are todays experiences, and can become tomorrows knowledge.
Nightmares Madness
Joined 10th Sep, 2014 ·
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- The Dazzlings Adagio 1 · 29k words · 32 12 · 1.5k views
- Remedyfortheheart · 4.9k words · 58 10 · 2.4k views
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NO! Bad Ironheart, thats a bad, bad Ironheart. I cam here for Dazzlings on Max, not Adagio on Sunset. I'm gonna keep on reading, but this better not repeat.
6214871 Somepony cares! Yay!
...Yes. Yes this is exactly what i wanted. Finally some real tension and drama up in this B. Now i hope that your future chapters has some more things like this and follows up on this matter. If it doesn't... I don't know, but i wont be happy.
Update! here.
Favorite parts of chapter 1 - The tech-mixing-with-magic idea and how nasty you made Rush seem. Also, the sirens' dialogue (especially Aria's): very believable.
Least favorite - The transition from Rush to Max, including the explanation of an old accident. Maybe it will make more sense in future chapters, but it seemed out of place.
Disclaimer - Any criticism I make is with the best intentions. I enjoy your writing and mean no offense by any of it.
Thumbs up and looking forward to the next chapter!
6407461 Thank you for the comment. Glad you enjoy the story thus far. The thing about the wound was to try and tie the first story to this one. It is mentioned a little more in later chapters, but I was trying not to put too much effort into bringing the first story into this one. It was really just to give his perspective on the situation. With that, show a little bit of progression for his reasoning of why he does a couple of things later on.
I hope I am explaining this well enough to understand. Often it is difficult for me to explain how I think and work things out in my mind.
I really need to get back to continuing the next chapter. Just so much on my mind I find it hard to focus on the story and give it the effort it deserves. -_-
Edit
*Re-reads the chapter* Huh, I was not as subtle as I thought I was. Now that I think about it, maybe referring to it as a "wound" was a bad idea. But was also trying to show progression of time. Ack, trying to think at 6am when I need to be into work in four hrs and not sleeping is not good.
In the first scene, I'm thinking it's the crazy guy, but really don't know. If that's the way it should be, ok, I was just confused on who we should be picturing.
Haha, I liked the Neil scene!
I approve Dagi. Make sure and stop by Anna's office too.
6504788 Okay, totally messed up on the name. It's not Anna, it's Nina, even through the last part. It's just been so long since I worked on the story, or even read through it, I totally spaced out the name I had for her. I had to run through parts of the story last night to check, and thought I had corrected the mistakes. Apparently not. Sorry bout that.
As for the first scene, hehe, you'll find out. ;)