Max and the Dazzlings are back, and enjoying all their time together. Is their life the embodiment of perfection, or is there a force that is willing to rip them all apart, or die trying?
Favorite parts of chapter 1 - The tech-mixing-with-magic idea and how nasty you made Rush seem. Also, the sirens' dialogue (especially Aria's): very believable.
Least favorite - The transition from Rush to Max, including the explanation of an old accident. Maybe it will make more sense in future chapters, but it seemed out of place.
Disclaimer - Any criticism I make is with the best intentions. I enjoy your writing and mean no offense by any of it.
Thumbs up and looking forward to the next chapter!
“Well, you’re kind of like our pet, Max. We tossed you a bone and you followed us home and have been humping our legs ever since.” Aria said, before erupting in laughter once again.
Favorite parts of chapter 1 - The tech-mixing-with-magic idea and how nasty you made Rush seem. Also, the sirens' dialogue (especially Aria's): very believable.
Least favorite - The transition from Rush to Max, including the explanation of an old accident. Maybe it will make more sense in future chapters, but it seemed out of place.
Disclaimer - Any criticism I make is with the best intentions. I enjoy your writing and mean no offense by any of it.
Thumbs up and looking forward to the next chapter!
PffftHAHAHAHAHAhahahehehe…