• Member Since 12th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 30th, 2016

W9001PILLSHERE


E

An unofficial story sequel to the Stare Master episode. A strange creature shows up at Fluttershy's cottage. After it gets startled, It attacks her and when she wakes up, she feels different. Her wings have changed, her hoof tips have changed, she's changed. Her biggest change? Her attitude. She lies to her friends, she has a massive confidence boost, but most importantly, she wants her friends more. Only problem, she wants them in new, darker ways. By using methods not even Lauren Faust could have imagined, Fluttershy manages to turn all of Ponyville into vampires. All of Ponyville, that is, except for a handful of survivors. With only one scientist and a handful of outcasts, they must find a cure to save the ones that care about them... until help arrives after it's too late, and somehow solves the problem... maybe? I don't know. developments to come. Anyhow, to all my loyal fans of Team Friendship 2, I'm starting this mid-story because I kept being retarded and kept forgetting to save my work on the current chapter, So I decided to be lazy and start a new story instead, maybe get some new fans.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 36 )

LET THE VIVISECTION BEGIN *looks at clock* TOMORROW
at a first look, you have the opposite problem this time. wall of text, it needs more dialogue (its hard finding a balance)
"Self aware"? im sorry but no. for something to be self aware it has to adapt to its surroundings. the 9000 joke was forced, which made it unfunny (first"word" that came to mind)

"the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". I believe youve taken a few since i first saw you
-Michael

too much ooc
aj wouldnt talk like that
your story will be ripped apart piece by piece withe a week or two

624777 ooc? Thanks for the criticism, again, it really helps me improve, and thanks for the compliment. I know I need more dialogue, but I figured a nice, wordy introduction might help , not to mention I needed a badass description of fluttershy's transformation. But thanks again.

624770 you know, honestly looking back, I hope this story gets more popular than team friendship 2. It just seems better to me, you know? Of course, with the issue that I still need an artist...

629114 only one of my five stories has a pic, and that one is just a pony creator pic

629117 I see, but in my case, I need a custom picture because, well, there's no official picture for countess Dracushy. I would do it myself, but
A. Technology hates me and
2. I'm a terrible artist.

633592 I understand, but wouldn't it be awesome (not to mention good for attention) to see a perfectly drawn picture of Fluttershy as she was described after her transformation? Think about it.

633592 And you know, it's weird. One of my good friends (is named michael) has a friend named nick who is a brony.
Weird. :derpyderp2:

Um... Where is the rest of the text? :derpyderp1:

748441
This was unexpected. Chapter appeared with author's note and piece of text.
First thought was "Oh, looks like author did not use copy-paste on all text. Oh well, just point it and wait for chapter to appear" :pinkiehappy:

Dark: Medicine did not help. No cure. Bad ending.
Grim dark: Medicine did work. +10 strength, +10 agility. Fluttershy becomes monster and no survivors. Bad ending.

Idea for additional chapter: Cut content. Something that was not vital for story, but happened somewhere in it. Not so important details.

781110 Hmm.... You may be on to something, but since I'm lazy, not gonna happen.

Quote: "Leave your thoughts for any other endings in the comments, and I may consider."
It was your idea for suggestions.
Few more endings: Crossover with some other fanfic or world happens and ... 3 endings become possible. Good, bad, dark.

781367 Not bad, not bad. I said MAY consider, that doesn't mean I have to do anything that the people suggest. But I still like the fact you actually bothered to suggest.

I do like this story and almost was about to go writing the grim dark ending. :pinkiecrazy:
Buuuut... It is your story, so nope. I will leave all scenes in my head. Or will share them. :twilightsmile:

Oh, and on a side note. This story can be 10 chapters long with each chapter at least a thousand words long. Or even for 3k each. More depth and so on.
While it CAN be, it does not means it must be.
I mean. Whatever you choose to do, it is ok. But remember this.... MOOOOOOAAAARRRRRR!!!! :twilightangry2:

781413 Yah... I'm not very good at long chapters, I don't like to keep people waiting, and since my first story, Team Friendship 2, was a smash hit, not like many other stories, but good enough for me. 40 likes vs 5 dislikes ain't bad at all, isn't it?

Kudos to anyone here who reads this and plays Gears Of War :) :pinkiehappy:

Script writing is unacceptable :ajbemused:, I'm not perfect when it comes to sentence structuring but dialogue is better when its in quotation marks. That and almost everyone will be able to assume whom is speaking, descriptors help that too.

An example taken from one of my stories:
“Twilight, are you okay?” Spike asked.

that line right there is how you would set up dialogue correctly if your writing a story, if your writing a script however I believe that what you have there is good for now. I hope this helps you improve :ajsmug:.

783127 ...I am already aware of the fact that my story is not in proper form... The admins let it slide. And I said that I changed it for my future stories, which I did.

781439 Gears of War, Yes. I officially approve of you 100%.

786930 what's your gt, I'll play you. I only have gears 3, though.

And then they tried to bite God or something.

Or Zeus.

Actually both.
And then Zeus personally punished dem mortals or something. :P

ALTERNATE ALTERNATE ENDING

What happened with the mercs?

Ladies and Gentleman, the Grim-Dark ending.

Care for making a 4th Alternate Ending? I have an idea -- a VERY silly idea.

1456730 hm. Pm me. let me see what you had in mind and I'll consider.

Login or register to comment