El Hombre
Joined 4th Jan, 2015 ·
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Not bad. Felt a little rushed, could have dragged it out a little longer, I think. It's hard to get the right amount of feeling into it in only 1500 words or so. Try for over 2000 next time, and I'm sure there will be a marked improvement in content.
6093118
Thanks for the comment ^^. The first two sentences sound like something my teacher said in highschool :rainbow laugh: .
Next time i'll try to make the intro a bit shorter and expand the "Fun-Scene" further.
At least not everyone's turned down by my first story ^^.
Well done
6103436
Thank You
6103938 make another
6103983
It's already in the works ^^
This time it will be Fluttershy and it's gonna be a whole bit longer.
6104036 Nice how about after Fluttershy do Applejack then Rainbow dash then Pinkiepie and last but not least Princess TwilightSparkle
6104146
Everything at it's time my friend ^^.
I don't know how long it takes to finish the next Story (maybe I'm making more than one chapter).
Applejack, Dashie and Twily are for sure part of one of my next stories. I don't know about Pinkie but we'll see that.
I'm so happy you liked my very first story and i will try to improve my writing skills with each story.
*speaks in german accent because I can* Zat vas an amazing story, better than some others I've read
6115752
Oh thank you ^^.
But i heard german people try to speak english much worse
Are you german? Or are you just able to speak it?
6116795 American, part German from family heritage.
Not bad. For your first try. Even though there are small errors, but it's still a great story. Keep up the good work.
6147256
Thank you ^^
Can you tell me what errors you mean so i don't make them in my next story?
6155529
Sure.
Even though I don't really know how to put a giant bubble thing around this, so I'll have to copy and past it. Haha.
“You know…. Anon,I really like you and we’re dating for almost four weeks now, and… I don’t know how to say it,” You forgot to add a space between "I" and that comma.
While you just sith there with your eyes closed you touch her cheek. Does it suppose to say "sit?"
Well, I only saw like two cause I was skimming through this. LOL.
But yeah, here's some errors that I found.
6155572
Haha! Oh god. Dat grammar
I read it like 20 times to find every mistake but I somehow did oversee them. Sadly english is not my native language but that errors... shame over me!
Ok thank you for that. Next time I let someone else read my story before i publish it.
Oh and I just wanted to say you that i absolutely adore your stories. I started with Clopfic-Readings and the first story I heard was "Your little whore".
6155595
Thank you so much. Rarity (and Applejack, tied with her.) is my most fav. But I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Great read!