Marked

by Eisen

Chapter 4: Seeds of Doubt

After sleeping for a few hours and thinking deeply, Twilight decided that she needed to look elsewhere for research. She concluded that, given most modern books uselessness on the subject, she'd need to look at much older texts, perhaps texts from 1,000 years ago.

"Spike, I'll be gone for a while, be sure to take care of the castle for me," she said, poking her head into the kitchen where Spike was standing.

"Where you going Twi?" the dragon asked curiously, putting down the cookbook he had been reading.

"I'm heading off to the Crystal empire for research on...ancient pony cultures!" She explained, thinking it a rational and reasonable excuse.

"Alright! You can count on me!" He said enthusiastically. That was one of the things Twilight always liked about Spike; he was so eager to please

With that, she trotted to the train station, occasionally glancing around her as inconspicuously as she could manage, taking the first train she could to the Crystal Empire.

Twilight waited until the other ponies had picked their seats before she selected to sit in the front of an empty car. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment as she sat down on the padded train seat, feeling the vehicle lurch forward seconds later as it left the station. No turning back now she thought to herself.

A few minutes into the trip, after staring out the window for a while, she heard a small voice in the isle. "Princess Twilight...?" asked the voice quietly, almost uneasily. Twilight turned with a short "hm?" To see a young, turquoise filly looking up at her.

It was the same child from the school a few days ago! The one who had initially asked her where Cutie Marks came from. Twilight chuckled a bit at the thought of all the trouble this little filly accidentally started. Ironic to meet her again while hunting for information.

"What's so funny princess?" The little one asked, giggling a bit herself.

"Oh, nothing... say where are your parents?" Twilight asked looking around.

"Oh, they're sitting in the car in front of us! But they said I could come talk to you, if you thought it was alright!" She explained.

"Of course you can, have a seat!" Twilight said, gesturing to the seat in front of her, facing hers. It was relaxing to have some company. It was strange... Twilight used to be perfectly fine being alone, but for some reason now it felt... cold.

"So did you find out where Cutie Marks come from?" The filly asked innocently, causing Twilight's eyes to widen ever so slightly.

The princess looked over the girl. She was smiling up at Twilight, sincerely. Twilight didn't suspect a child to be into espionage, although she didn't let the possibility slide that she might have been put up to asking.

She eventually decided that she wouldn't give any vital information to the girl, in case anyone was listening in, but she'd humor her a bit.

"Well..." Twilight stared, leaning in a bit, the child following suit. "I don't know where they come from... but they're really more interesting than most people know!" She said in an almost playfully hushed tone.

"How?" The girl whispered back, a look of curiosity in her eyes.

"Well... everypony knows that we earn our marks with our talents... but not many ponies know that our marks actually help our talents too!" she said with a wink. "It's a secret!"

Twilight felt rather silly saying all that. Her paranoia had also started to kick in... but what had she really told her? Nothing that an adult pony couldn't come up with on their own through thinking about it.

"Wow!" The little filly said, nodding. "I won't tell anypony!" She said smiling.

Twilight giggled a bit more. Maybe she was just being paranoid. Here she was, worrying about keeping secrets from her friends, but after answering a small girl's question, it really wasn't much of a secret after all, was it?

"Summer? Our stop is up ahead!" came a voice from the car directly in front of theirs.

"Coming mom!" The turquoise filly responded, looking at the princess one more time. "My name's Summer by the way! Bye princess Twilight!" Summer said happily as she hopped down and went to her mother.

Twilight raised an ear and listened for a moment, not sure what she was listening for.

"So, Summer, what did you and the princess talk about?" asked the mother.

Twilight's ears went flat. What was she thinking? Talking about Marks to a child after coming under scrutiny from Celestia herself? How stupid--

"I was just asking the princess about her wings mom!" Summer replied innocently.

Twilight was certainly surprised, but relieved, and sighed with a relaxed smile as the train came to a stop. Twilight looked out the window to see Summer looking back with a wink. The princess smiled and waved back as the train pulled away, heading to the Crystal Empire.

Upon arrival, Twilight wasted no time heading over to the massive library, still briefly checking around her. She questioned herself on the way over as to how exactly she would go about this. That library was far too large for her to navigate on her own, and without a modern organizational system, she'd have to ask a librarian where the books she needed were.

Now, Twilight wasn't about to take another risk by asking the librarian about marks, so she'd have to be a bit more specific. She had a plan in place and recited it mentally to herself briefly, and by the time she entered the library, she knew what to do.

"Hello there!" came a kind sounding voice. Twilight looked over to see an elderly earth pony, stamping a book that seemed to match his non-crystalline coat's brown hue.

Twilight trotted up and spoke in a calm tone. "Hello! I was just wondering if you could help me find books on ancient pony history," she recited politely.

"History, eh?" He said, putting down the book. "Well now! That's a pretty broad topic! Anything in particular you were looking for?"

The princess had anticipated this question. "Actually, I'm looking for history books from shortly after, around or before Equestria's founding, one that really talks about the ponies of that time, maybe some biographies?" she suggested.

The older pony scratched his head, his thinning gray mane shifting slightly in accordance. "Well now...Ah! If you'll follow me," he said, walking slowly and leading her towards one of the back shelves with a calm smile. "Say, if you don't mind me asking, your highness, what do you need these books for?" He inquired.

Twilight briefly wondered if he was probing her, but given his tone, it sounded like he was making friendly conversation. "Well, I just needed a new topic to study, and ancient pony figures sounded interesting!" Twilight said, as they stopped before a large bookshelf.

The older pony kindly studied her for a moment. "New subject eh?" he asked, with a still calm, yet slightly puzzled look on his face.

Twilight tried to keep her innocent expression, but she was never very good at controlling either her body language or facial poses.

After a brief moment, he got a brighter expression and spoke up. "Well, if you were looking for something new and interesting, why not give this a read?" the stallion asked, pulling a book out of a small librarian's saddlebag he had on. It was the same shade of brown as his coat, so Twilight had barely noticed it earlier.

The book she was handed was titled "The Foal and the Fountain". It was a plain looking book, an old tale that she'd heard of but never actually read. She had always thought it was a children's story, but the older pony was very polite, so she took it with a brief "thank you" before she started selecting books off of the shelf.

Just as he was leaving her, he turned around and called out. "Oh, one more thing, princess!"

Twilight looked at him, and was met with a difficult-to-read expression. It almost seemed somewhere between mild confusion, concern, and empathy.

"It gets dark a lot sooner than it does down in Ponyville up here. If you want to head back to wherever you're staying for the night, you'd best leave before dusk," he cautioned.

"Thanks for the heads up!" She said.

He smiled warmly again and headed back up to the front desk. Twilight sighed, and pulled out another blank sheet to begin taking notes, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. She reassured herself that it was her imagination, and even looked around just to be sure, and soon enough, she felt a bit better.

...which made observing her much simpler.

Comments

[Hillbe]

pre07.deviantart.net/dff1/th/pre/i/2014/346/d/f/socks___by_hillbe-d89mbtw.jpg

Spike! Rarity? I leave you here to keep an eye on the castle and you two are doing. . .

NOTHING!

YEAH RIGHT

[Dipti]

And here I thought she studied magic!!!! You'd Think she would realize when she was being magical watched.

[Eisen]

6292947
While she probably does have some cool detection powers, she's not omnipotent. That's a major factor here: Twilight who is a well known intellectual is being faced with many things she was never meant to understand. And I'm hoping that adds a lot to this story!

[ferret]

6292947
The real irony is she's seen Celestia's screen room. She saw herself under massive amounts of surveillance through the whole princessification. There is no reason she wouldn't be ridiculously paranoid about being watched after seeing that, except for her implicit trust in Princess Celestia's good will.

[8542Madness]

There are a lot of problems right here. I'll try and tackle them one sentence at a time.

"Spike, I'll be gone for a while, be sure to take care of the castle for me." She said, poking her head into the kitchen where Spike was standing.

I've noticed this for a while in small cases, but this is a large enough one that my example should be easier to see. Instead of having a comma randomly connecting two complete sentences without a conjunction, just make them two separate sentences. Here's what it would look like that way:

"Spike, I'll be gone for a while. Be sure to take care of the castle for me," she said, poking her head into the kitchen where Spike was standing.

"Where you going Twi? " the dragon asked curiously, putting down the cookbook he had been reading.

I have noticed this problem occur only a few times before now, but when you directly address a character in this way a comma is required before the name. The correct version would be:

"Where you going, Twi? " the dragon asked curiously, putting down the cookbook he had been reading.

This is a personal nitpick again, but I personally find it is better to just use the character's name or a simple "he/she/it" pronoun.

"Alright! You can count on me!" He said enthusiastically. One of the things Twilight always liked about Spike; he was so eager to please.

The part I underlined is an incomplete sentence. This can easily be fixed by adding a few words to the start of the phrase.

"Alright! You can count on me!" He said enthusiastically. That was one of the things Twilight always liked about Spike; he was so eager to please.

"So did you find out where Cutie Marks come from?" The Philly asked innocently

As a friend, I'd like you to know that I have never once doubted your intelligence. In fact, you're one of the smartest people I've known. That made it all the more hilarious to see this typo.

The Philly

Ultimate lolz were had for a good ten minutes. You silly filly.

You may want to re-read this chapter and do some simple checks for capitalization. It's going crazy at some points.

[BleuBlooms]

"Alright! You can count on me!" He said enthusiastically. That was one of the things Twilight always liked about Spike; he was so eager to please

Hmm...no self-reflection here, folk's - Just standard child/teen behaviour.