Marked

by Eisen

Prologue

Author's Note:

Click here to listen to "Progress", a song composed for this chapter!

"Where has that old stallion gotten off to now?" muttered an annoyed pony to himself, shifting his weight in one of two red chairs facing each other in a very large library. He glanced from side to side, noting shelves made of polished wood and numerous books lining all visible walls. He had no apparel upon his light gray coat, wearing only a blank, serious expression upon his face, his dull green eyes revealing nothing. He used a hoof to brush back his short black mane with an impatient sigh.

His eyes flicked to the side to see the blank door to the room open, as an older pony wearing a plain gray cloak walked in, slowly placing himself on the chair opposite him.

"Ah, thank you so much for joining me!" the gray pony said, masking his annoyance with a fairly convincing look of admiration. The old pony sighed and adjusted his cloak before responding.

"You said you had something important to discuss with me," he said in a slightly raspy voice, his tone indicating he wished to skip right to the point.

Slipping back into a serious expression, the gray stallion cleared his throat. "Yes, of course. I mean to speak to you today about your profession, and any... Contingencies you have in place," he said, trying subtly to see under the shaded hood of the older pony.

"Contingencies? Contingencies? I've done my duty every day for... Suffice to say an extremely long time with absolutely no issue and you suddenly come to me asking for contingencies?" he asked with a mildly raised tone.

The gray stallion did not skip a beat. "That is precisely the reason I ask, good sir. You've done your duty for so long that, frankly my associates and I need to know what your plans for the future are."

"Mister, what exactly are you saying?" the elder asked, eyeing him suspiciously from under the hood.

"To be blunt, you won't be around forever. We need to know what you plan to do if something happens to you," the younger stallion stated, his expression flat and unreadable.

At this, the older pony seemed taken aback, shifting in his seat, before lowering his head slightly. "I want you to listen to me very carefully," the old one said in a serious tone. "Day after day, year after year, decade after decade, et cetera, I have worked hard, and done that which nobody else could. Honestly, I have loathed every second of it, and not a day goes by that I don't regret thinking up the idea which trapped me in this job for so long... But I have done it, without fail, without falter, without hesitation. I have done so since its initial creation, and I will have to do it for the foreseeable future. And I assure you, despite my elderly appearance, there are numerous contingencies in place assuring my survival. Long story short sonny, you have nothing to worry about." After saying this, he coughed a few times, drinking liquid from an opaque flask he pulled out from under his cloak.

The gray pony seemed unimpressed, but put on a faint smile. "Of course, how foolish of me," he said before returning to a flatter expression. "However, that being said, my associates and I believe that certain... Aspects of your work should be rethought. We think it is time for action, time for a major shift in society."

The olden pony scowled at this. "I'm afraid you and your 'associates' should re-evaluate your ideas. What I do is already bad enough without people like you trying to abuse it. I'm afraid I cannot allow misuse of such a delicate system," he said.

The gray stallion expected this, but needed confirmation of the old stallion's stubborn attitude before moving forward on their plans. He faked a smile and nodded. "Of course, I understand," he said, standing up.

The older of the two stood shakily, patting the younger on the back. "I'm glad you can see reason," he concluded, walking away.

As he left the room, the gray pony frowned. It would have been preferable to have his cooperation, but the lack thereof was only a minor setback. The world would soon change, that much was certain. One life would be a small price to pay for progress.

Comments

[8542Madness]

Well, sorry it took me so long to get here. At least I read this eventually, right? Hehe... hah... yeah, sorry about that.

Anyway, solid start. The mystery is very clear (or, rather, it isn't) right from the get-go. I do have a few little nitpicks, however.

"You said you had something important to discuss with me." He said in a slightly raspy voice

I actually didn't know this myself until I started writing on FimFiction and a commenter kindly pointed it out, but dialogue followed by statements such as 'he said' count as a part of the same sentence as the dialogue. For this reason, there should not be a period at the end of the speech, but instead a comma. The 'He' immediately following it should be lowercase as well, since it is a part of the same sentence. A grammatically correct version of the sentence would be this:

"You said you had something important to discuss with me," he said in a slightly raspy voice

One more thing I noticed:

major shift in Society."

I assure you, Despite my elderly appearance

numerous Contingencies in place

What's with the random capitalization?

Anyway, so far so good! I am very curious where this will go.

[56]

I have done so since it's initial creation

its

[Jordanis]

I smell Auditors.