A pair of unlucky ponies are lucky to meet one another.
A short and sweet story about a first date.
Thanks to SMXSonic, Fistofbrick, and Sage Probo for pre-reading and editing.
Also thanks to my followers for putting up with me lately.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 26th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch
Profile of Retired Writer, Lapis-Lazuli, and his editor, Stitch / Inky. Thanks for the memories, FiMFiction.
Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch
Joined 26th Jan, 2013 ·
Offline
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it was only time that those two end in a ship fic.
I was waiting for a fic shipping these two
and I'd love it if you could continue it
Good characterizations, and a great flow to this story. It's safe to say I ship it now.
You also may or may not have done a find job making those references you may or may not have made to other stories. If I had to guess, I'd say the bit with Spike and the Ponytones was one of those references. It felt a little, "Wait, huh? Okay, I guess, but why was that necessary?" Other than that, nothing stuck out.
Well done!
I LOVE IT!!!
And that's how Equestria was unmade!
Wait, that's a different fic.
That's how Equestria was remade!
Wait, that seems premature...
That's how Equestria lost it's liquor license! Eh, close enough.
Loved the story! MUSTACHE!
Oom papachucka maka nanu singow
Meling kapalana wani domo chingpow
Heddy kapalua cuma jenising tea
Oomama chucka pana one is now three
6003865 I've been planning to write something like this since the episode aired. These two have so much potential!
Lapis-Lazuli and Inky J, confound you for getting there first (and probably doing it better than I will)!
It boggles the mind
Bunnies everywhere. It was horrifyin.” “I ain’t even mentioned the weasels, either.”
and Dinky can see and converse with the Fae ! Whoa.
I'm so glad you made a shipfic with these two. The different narrations were a nice touch, as well.
Excellent work, Lapis and Inky!
Most adorable pair ever! Eee! Okay, I fangirled the heck out to this. So cute.
... Sorry, Dr Whooves. You've been replaced.
EDIT: So, are we going to get a story about that long weekend in Las Pegasus? Preferably from the viewpoint of a disaster response team trying to work out just what the Tartarus happened?
I think I'm beginning to ship this pair...
But why haven't they given Trouble his own tag yet?
Very adorable!
Felt very honest and tangible. Good stuff.
Ohmygodfinallysomeonedidit! YAY!
And you also got his accent right.. Do continue, please!
So adorable
*Utopianking.exe has stopped working. Please wait while the system is rebooted*
I will now ship this so the Doctor can have more time with Roseluck.
Dinky's still communing with creatures of folklore, I see. Good for her. Someone should.
Please. What does Top Ponies know? She tried to hook up Clear Skies and Fluffy Clouds. I mean, really.
I have to wonder how'd Applejack react if she knew she was being called high-falutin'. Says more about the altitude of Troubleshoes's faluting than her own, really.
"Shillelagh pony"? Well, that's an interesting way of putting it.
In all, a most adorable ship, with nowhere near the amount of property destruction I had expected. (I wonder if Dinky cut a deal with the RNP.) Thank you for this.
>fully insured
It's good to know two responsible ponies use "protection" when they're spending the night out together. :)
...so adorable...
Awww this was such a sweet story! its a shame its a one shot but I enjoyed reading it. Take my fave and like!
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/upvote_tyrion.gif
6004524 Did... did you just quote "This is Ponderous"?
6006564
It popped into my head when I read that line...
6006251
Well, that was adorable and awesome. Thanks for sharing that!
Braeburn foalstitting? Oi vey...
I never thought of this pairing before and now I like and approve of this shipping lol. Not sure what you would call this as a nickname but it was a fun read and I hope more stories like this pop up now and again.
'Bout time!
Okay, this story, minus a few quick grammar mistakes that my screwy brain noticed, it's adorable!
This is a pretty believable ship, and first date. (Though I wouldn't know, I just assume so)
Faved and liked :)
6007104
I call it DerpyShoes.
D'awww, this was sweeter than one of Pinkie's Super Duper Chocolate Cream Puffs.
Everypony was in character, or at least as in character as background ponies and one horse could be.
Goddammit Braeburn.
Well that was just too darn adorable.
.....nevermind. No such thing as too adorable! =P
6008182
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Grammar Score: 9.5/10
Pros: I'm a longtime Derpy-lover, so a one-shot like this was right up my alley. While I'm also a longtime Derpy x Time Turner shipper (and they're still totally the biggest OTP from the show for me
), I really like Troubleshoes and I totally understand the appeal of shipping him with Derpy. Said shipping was done splendidly here. I was especially impressed with how smoothly Troubleshoes' vernacular and inner monologue rolled off the author's pen, so to speak; country dialogue is never easy to write, not to mention this character has only existed for a couple of weeks, but you managed to even get his speaking mannerisms down (the way he over-explains things/goes on drawling tangents, that's exactly what he did in the episode and I loved it!). Derpy was great too, a very standard version of her that you often encounter in good fics where she was as lovable as she was adorable. It was great that you didn't have her start in a place of dread so much as a place of acceptance; she simply assumed that this date was going to go about as well as any she'd been on went, and after a lifetime of her klutziness, she just kind of accepted that. It felt like a very real mindset for her, but it made her transition as she realized she and Troubleshoes had more in common all the more enjoyable.
Cons: the date seemed to play out just a tad too normal for those two. It was fun, as I said, seeing both of their reservations disappear as they learned how much they had in common, but I kept expecting that to manifest in some major haphazard situation at some point. Not that I'm mad their date went well, mind you, it just seemed like they told each other more about their clumsiness than actually saw it. Given that they're both adults and already had a lifetime of various misfortunes, that works, really, and the execution of how everything played out was good enough that this complain was just a minor distraction more than anything else. Also thought it seemed just a little OOC for Derpy to offer her "proposition" that she did at the end; I figured she would've started with the far more cautious but still charming and daring move of planting a kiss on him first, but again, minor distraction, nothing more, and it did give Troubleshoes the chance to be a gentlecolt.
Overall, this was a fun little read. It may not be my choice of ship for my best pony, Derpy, but it was very cute and excellently executed nonetheless. Thank you for the enjoyable read!
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Batmare Begins (at your own convenience, of course). NOTE: I'm not asking you to read the whole story, given how much I had to read for this review. Just read whatever you feel you need to in order to review my fic, be it the whole fic thus far or just the first chapter, it's your call. Have a nice day!
P.S. That coverart is TOO ADORABLE!!!
I like this a lot, for reasons already stated. Also, because it makes me hopeful for another "Dinky can see spirits" fic. Or just another one from you in general.
6010449
Dinky Can See Spirits might get her own major fic, but we'll see how the last of the shorts goes.
I personally dislike the Derpy x Doctor Whooves pairing. No offense to those who ship it, but it just doesn't make any sense to me. This, however, is a pairing I can get behind, solely because of this excellently-written, completely adorable fic.
6010654
Yay, another short!
No she doesn't.
because derpy is like, totally obsessed with them
I'm glad I wasn't the only one to think of Derpy Hooves when I realized that Trouble Shoes had such a similar name. In my own head-theory, they were half siblings wrought from the same mother and different fathers. That theory kind of shoots this particular story in the foot. However, I could still enjoy this story, if I put my own head-canon aside. Thumbs up to you.
Wait, what?
6006251
Bonus points that the narrator sounds like Discord.
6012901 That through me as well, not sure were the Irish comes in, possibly. The lyre is more of a greek thing and a shillelagh is Irish. I gotta think it's a color thing
6014536
I'm mostly wondering what Lyra has to do with traditional Irish wooden clubs, since I can't find any alternative meaning of the word.
Also, is it the same old shillelagh her father brought from Ireland?
6014536
6014613
The idea was that it's a nickname for Ponies who seem to be of "Pony Irish" descent. Troubleshoes, who is used to dealing with all sorts of ponies, has a few preconceptions as to what a certain type of pony looks like.
Look, sometimes I do a lot of weird side-story world building while I work on bigger fics
6014661 neato, that's a clever idea actually
6014661
Funny, I always imagined Lyra having an Irish accent (at least until A Canterlot Wedding 1-2). Not one so obvious, of course. You'd only notice it in a few sentences here and there.
Dr. Whooves gonna be so jelly. :P
6016665
And what if I, Discord, am typing this commeI'm so sorry about that. That's the last time I'm letting him on my computer.
That was fun and sweet.