Canceled: Reasons
If you are reading this then I am sorry to say I have canceled this story.
But no worries I plan on rewriting it, without the Displaced.
The reasons why are when I began writing this story I had never planned on finishing it I had no plans and when I realised I had ruined the opportunity to make it a good story I decided to try and revive it which lead to many, many failures, so I made the only choice I could, if I want to finish this, I have to write it from the beginning, so I began editing rewriting and trying to fix the old chapters and in doing so I realised the Displaced part of the story was the reason it was failing, so I cancelled this story.
The rewritten version should be out soon because I am not trying to fix old flaws that I had made with the older chapters, hope to see you there.
Now if you are coming from the rage review group to tear my story apart, then I say do your worst, make me cry at the mistakes I made then take my tears bottle them up cut a wound on my arm then pour them into it, do. Your. Worst!
I would appreciate it if you would.
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even if you should use the real one, I still hope, you don´t let him die in the end, or whatever happened in the real game. I know that kind of thing can be good too, but honestly I prefer it, if the main char get´s a good enging, that´s probably one of the reasons I don´t really watched my little Rainbow, because I knew she would go home in the end, and they would never see each other again. I just don´t like it that much.
Well yes, I guess what I want to say is, I´m going to read the second one as well.
If you can, please update a note for this chapter, telling us if the rewritten version is out.
Can you link me to you rewrite the story when it's finished.
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6519231 Of Course.
DAMN IT! I am so sad... Guess ill have to wait for this new one. Awe well can't wait!
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I agree partly. I mostly prefer it myself. Only time I doesn't is when the death gives part to a knew main protagonist, or inspire a new protagonist. If it just has an enormous impact on a character. Just like in Telltales The Walking Dead.
But now I digress, right? Back to the theme. A pity the displaced bit doesn't fit in the story, but I'm also interested to see what you will do with it in the future.
6519353 I guess I can agree with what you said, the way they did it in walking that was pretty nice, and in the Shadow of the Collossus it was okay too. However it left a bad aftertaste, knowing some random Humans killed your Main Char, after an epic quest was finished.
Was starting to get a bit worried about this story, honestly. Started strong, but quickly lost it's momentum.
Looking forward to the rewrite.
6519395 I felt the same way, I had planned out the lore and the story, then the Displaced part just crashed right in making it hard for me to write around.
it was a fatal error and I hope to fix it in the rewrite.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2d/2e/0f/2d2e0f576c818f18958969111060b468.jpg
I am quite glad that you are going to rewrite this without the displaced. The story at first was brilliant, but it started to feel somewhat second rate when the displaced were introduced. Seeing that it is going to be redone, but better is fantastic.
Gave me a little of a heart attack, but good thing you're rewriting this. While I am a little disappointed at the no displaced thing, if that's making your story bad I say do what you think is best. I am very sure I will love it either way.
Oh, and here you can borrow this.
*Hands stun shotgun*
Just in case the rage comes true.
6521509 Thank you, that is very... generous of you
Hello there people/person who runs the account. Sad to hear that the story is gonna have to start from scratch, but it is nice to hear that it is for rewrites. I have a question, and other people in the comments, don't hate me. Do you need another editor? Because something I have noticed, even on the edited chapters, is that the structure of the sentences is still very odd and disjointed, along with just some minor things. Allow me to give you an example.
(Taken from the prologue)
It's just a simple correction, "...the creature's eyes were pitch black...", but it still bothered me, and I am not usually a stickler on grammar. If you say no, great. If you say yes, great. If I get murdered by the other people in the comments, please do my eulogy.
6525612 another Editor would be great as our Editor isn't always on and neither is our backup one which is also busy Editing other stories.
Also the prologue was never Edited properly so were the first 1-3 Chapters (Even though some one put 'Edited' on the names *coff* *coff* Derpy *coff*) so yeah there's your answer to that.
In short, another Editor would be nice but not needed.
Also I got it your eulogy covered,
It may need a little work though.
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6525612 it's out :http://www.fimfiction.net/story/294123/light-in-the-darkest-hour-revamped
6533942 *Jumps ship*
6533942 thanks.
6533942 *Rockets to new story on a large firework*
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ah well, :\ a male turned female story does take A LOT of thought, plot, etc to make it work...
6543617 yeah, it was also my first story so I made the mistake of not planning, and thinking forward.
I was going to touch on the subject of male to female thing but it just drifted to the background.
6544540 I understand, when I saw the fact that this is your first book I kinda thought that this was doomed or you simply made a new account and were an amazing writer, in this case my first thoughts ended up being correct. *shrug* Good concept, huge plot hole.
but still amazing story.
Honestly I'm sad that you canceled it but it's your story and we do this to give back to the community yet again it was your decision not mine still sad you canceled it but I'll live have fun writing the nexts story BYE!!!
I was gone for too long.
6605986 there is a rewrite out now if you don't know already.
and what do you mean that you will have fun writing the next story? Do you mean you own story? Or a sequel to this one?
This in my opinion was better than the rewritten, because it just pulled me in. I do not see how this story could ever be seen as bad. I mean sure it has its faults, but even big hits like Harry Potter has them. I hope you continue this story someday.
7143425 I might But what I had in mind for this story just kinda derailed, if you know what I mean
Dear author,
I did indeed enjoy this story and did not think it a fail. It is to bad that you canceled it.
Sincerely
delivered
From
Songdrawn
My heart, My heart, from what one thought as a fail brings deep wounds to thy's soul for you have ended this so foul you put a bitter taste in my mouth, Leaving no room for sorrow or grieving, only hope and future's past, paste the sequel for thy has NO SHAME!
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I don't know if I should be insulted or flattered...
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Whatever you feel it is...
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Read it in Hamlet's voice!
I’m Rick Harrison and this is my pawnshop
Saddest thing is that the new one is effectively abandoned.
hay do more chapters now!!!!
Oh thank goodness
Welp good luck with the rewrite